73. Guilty Pleasures

{Naya}

Surprisingly, I didn't feel as shitty as I thought I would after what happened between Ritsu and me. I mean, we didn't take anything too far. All we did was kiss.

Good news was that removing Ritsu's mask didn't have any catastrophic consequences. For a brief moment, I had this fear that I had spent the past several minutes making out with a hideous boogeyman. But that was put to rest when I actually saw his face for the first time.

I reacted by bursting with laughter.

Ritsu drew up his knees and subconsciously reached for his face. "What? What's the matter with me?"

I fought to hold back my giggles. "Nothing. You're handsome. I just didn't expect you to look so much . . . like you did before."

Intense sideburns flared out along Ritsu's pale face. They even stretched horizontally to the peak of his high cheekbones and fed into a very low brow that also served as the start of his hairline. Only one kind of animal possessed a hair pattern identical to his.

I shrugged and tugged on his left sideburn. "You still kind of resemble a monkey."

The edge of his lip drew up to reveal one of his canines. "You've got to be joking." Then he leapt off the bed and rushed to the bathroom. I followed him and found him with his head bowed before the mirror, groaning.

"Ritsu, why are you upset? You're still attractive."

He lifted his head so that his eyes peered at me through the reflection. I hadn't noticed until now that they were the color of copper with a fractured ring of gold around his pupils. He stood up straight without breaking his gaze.

"I look like a freak."

His smoldering golden gaze made it difficult to maintain eye contact. I broke away briefly to scan his aesthetic tattoos.

I cleared my throat. "Trust me when I say that you're being way too hard on yourself."

He looked back at himself and dragged his fingers through his disheveled black hair. He bit the corner of his bottom lip as he continued to scrutinize his appearance.

Careful to keep my mind as blank as possible, I asked, "Did you get in touch with Zayn?"

Ritsu turned his back on the mirror. "I did. He's sending someone to come pick us up in a private jet. It'll probably be Sinbad."

I hadn't realized that I was holding my breath. A sudden bittersweet sigh of relief wrestled its way past my ribs.

"Mistress!"

Ritsu caught me before my head could hit the tile. I gratefully clung to him. "Home, Ritsu. We get to finally go home."

In just a few hours, I would be back at Zayn's estate. He would be there to comfort me and build me up just like he had when my father kicked me out. I even longed to be in the presence of Sinbad's goofy, yet dashing smile. Then I thought of Portia and how much the two of us desperately needed to schedule a sleepover.

It was too much to think about all at once.

Ritsu held me close and kissed the top of my head. He breathed in deeply. "I know, Mistress. I know. It feels like it's been months since we left everyone behind."

My body was shaking with the effort of trying to not think of Uri.

Are you serious? Not now! I don't want to have to keep relying on Ritsu for this!

"I'm sorry," I croaked. I wanted to put some distance between us, but Ritsu already had me in his arms, carrying me to the bed.

He set me down and asked, "Do you want me to stay?"

I nodded, but I kept a hand on his chest. I didn't want him to get too close. This was all so strange now that I could see Ritsu's face. His low brow dipped even further in concern for me. I caught myself longing for his pale blue lips to be next to mine.

I wanted to quell Ritsu's fear, but at the same time, I wanted relief. I wanted to forget why I was in pain in the first place. And this time, it wasn't even Aqua causing me the pain. I was just terrified of going home to all my friends with the knowledge that Uri wouldn't be there.

Ritsu's grimace turned into a panicked snarl. "Mistress, you have to breathe. Everything is going to be all right." He moved closer, but I squirmed away.

Ritsu took a steadying breath and hid his sharp canines. The tension left his face as he leaned sideways against the headrest of the bed.

"Naya," he said. "Look at me."

I fought my trembling frame to maintain eye contact with him. That was the first time Ritsu had ever called me by something other than Mistress. It struck me hard. I gave my full attention to this demon or death lord – whatever he was – with sleeves of ancient art along his arms and torso, tapered ears, and a face that was an attractive marriage of both man and monkey.

He blinked his golden brown eyes; in that moment I understood how weary he had grown from watching over me.

"Your djinni is strong. Whatever Janus decides to throw at him, he will stubbornly endure it until we get there. But you have to be strong too. You can't keep beating yourself up every step of the way, got it?"

He didn't really give me a chance to respond. The death lord crawled forward and slid a chilly palm against my neck. I leaned into it.

"You're always going to be his djinniyah," Ritsu whispered.

I could feel my heartbeat slowing down to a normal pace. My lungs made it easier for me to breathe again. Ritsu seemed to sense this too. He passed his brownish gold gaze over me once and moistened his lips.

"But Uriel made me promise to take care of you while he was gone. So let me do my job." His voice was so deep and sensual, it made my head light. Was I getting closer to him or was it the other way around?

The way Uriel kissed me was like he was tasting a new recipe for the first time. Every point of contact was measured and savory. He always liked to have a hand against my waist, his thumb stroking my midriff. His other hand was usually lost somewhere in my hair.

Ritsu, on the other, was a whole new experience. I noticed how he liked to gently bite and suck my bottom lip. He preferred to hold onto the back of my neck with both hands. His hands never traveled anywhere past my neckline. Apparently he knew there was a line that marked how far I was willing to go. I was grateful that he chose to be respectful of it.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he pulled away slightly.

A blissful hum thrummed in my throat.

"Are you sure you're a death lord and not the lord of making out? Where'd you learn to be so . . . skilled?"

He let go of me and grinned. "I put my imagination to good use when I was trapped inside that monkey."

I swatted his arm and teased, "And here I thought Uri was overexaggerating when he said you had it bad for me."

Ritsu played along, puffing out his chest. "Oh no. He had every reason to be worried. Especially now that I can do this." He started flexing his individual pecs.

I exploded into laughter and it felt like heaven. Ritsu joined me and soon we were both bent double in tears. He rolled over onto my lap. I threaded my fingers through his black, unkempt hair. As the moment lingered, the laughter left his eyes. It was replaced by something else. With his jaw slightly ajar and his eyes searching my face – I had seen this look before. On Uri.

"You look tired," I said, feigning ignorance.

"Hmm," Ritsu grunted. Then he stretched across my lap and yawned, showing off his pointed canines.

"I won't lie. Looking after you can get exhausting. Like your suit of fire, my energy source is not inexhaustible. Do you think you'll be okay for a few hours while I recharge?"

I sighed and nodded. "Sure. I'll go check out the pool. That should help me stay cool." I swung my legs out from under him and dismounted the bed.

Ritsu clumsily sat upright. "But before you go, we should – you know – just one more time to make sure your fire is under control."

I poked him hard in the chest. "Yeah right. You just want a kiss."

Ritsu pretended like each poke was a miniature punch. "Oh, you got me." He scooched to the edge of the bed. "So, is that a no?" He reached for my hand and drew me back to him.

I barely had time to say, "Just one more" before Ritsu's lips connected with mine and his icy breath took mine away.