Chapter 7: A Rainy Ride to School

Sunday night, Dylan vomited...four times. So, we came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be going to school the following day. However, I needed a ride to school because we were supposed to have heavy rain. My parents barely felt comfortable letting Dylan drive in the predicted rainfall, even though he had a year and a half of experience, never mind me. I have my license; I just never found a reason to drive. So, I had to ask the only person who lives near us, and that person is Holden.

So on Monday morning, rather than getting in the car with my brother, I got into the car with Holden, who was kind enough to bring me to school. When I got in the car, he looked at me and smiled. "Good morning," he greeted in his familiar boyish voice.

"Morning," I responded as I put my backpack on the floor in front of me. We drove to school in silence before I remembered to tell him what my mom told me to. "My mom's going to be picking me up from school, so you don't have to worry about it."

"Okay," he responded and I could tell he had something else to say. He was removing his hands from the steering wheel whenever we stopped just to wipe them along his jeans.

"What do you want to say, Holden?" I asked him.

"I don't really want to make things awkward," he announced. "And I just want to say that I think of you as a good friend and I don't want you to hate me."

"You don't like me?" I asked him and he nodded, earning a smile from me. "That's okay, Holden. You could've just said that. And to be quite honest, I don't like you in that way. I mean, I did at one point, but not anymore." That last part was irrelevant and I could've gone without saying it.

He sighed in relief and I could tell he'd been stressing this for a long time. "Why didn't you say anything when the guys said you did?" he questioned.

"Because it got them to stop calling me jealous," I responded with a shrug.

"I guess that makes sense," Holden replied. "So do you really like him?"

"Who?" I asked. "Axel?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"No, why would you think that?" I replied, earning a shrug in response.

"Well, for one, you knew who I was talking about," he retorted and I shook my head.

"That was because I just said something about being jealous," I responded. "I don't like him. I don't like anyone."

"Really?" he asked me. "You don't like anyone?"

"No," I told him.

"You really don't like Axel?" he inquired and I glared at him. To everyone: no I don't like Axel; to myself: I'm not sure if I do; I haven't sat down and figured out my feelings yet and I'm a bit scared to.

"No, Holden, I don't," I retorted. And I thought I got a lot of that from my friends.

"You hung out with Victoria the other day?" he inquired and I nodded, staring out the rainy window with wide eyes. Never again. I've dug myself deeper into the hole that I need to crawl back out of to regain friendship with Axel. And I'm desperately trying to get out of that hole or at least get a little bit more dirt at the bottom of it.

"Yeah," I muttered. "It didn't go well." Never again. It was a very stupid decision of mine.

"Why'd you hang out with her in the first place?" he inquired and I sighed, knowing it wouldn't make me sound any better regarding the whole 'crush on Axel' thing.

"Because Axel suggested it," I told Holden, who looked at me with a sideways glance before coughing.

"So, you hung out with her?" he asked.

"Yes, and it was horrible," I told him. "We argued for twenty minutes before she stormed off. That's when I called you."

"Well, what was your argument about?" he asked.

"What do you think it was about, Holden?" I inquired and he smirked.

"Axel," he nodded and I feigned a buzzer noise.

"Ding, ding, ding," I told him. "We have a winner."

"Is it me?" he asked and I nodded, smiling at him.

"Why'd you really do it?" he inquired. "Because I know that a simple suggestion from Axel won't make you do something as crazy as that."

I felt my face redden as I stared at my hands in my lap. "I thought if I got along with Victoria, Axel would be more likely to become my friend again."

"How'd that go?" he asked.

"I don't really know. We take one step forward and two steps back. Any progress I make seems to get ruined somehow," I told him. This last time, however, is my fault.

"Maybe you should just suggest being friends again," Holden told me and I looked at him with wide eyes.

"Are you crazy?" I asked.

"That's a crazy idea to you?" he asked, earning a nod. "You planned a day at the mall with Victoria at the drop of a hat and you think trying to rekindle your friendship is crazy? Not to mention, you were best friends with Axel for how long?"

"Four years," I muttered quietly.

"And I'm the one who's crazy? You've known him for years yet you're scared of suggesting the idea of being his friend again?" Holden inquired.

"It's not that simple," I told him. "He ended the friendship. He should be the one to regenerate it."

"If you want, I can tell him how upset you are," Holden suggested.

"No!" I snapped. "I will not show weakness nor will I show desperation. I'll just make him want to be my friend again. I will not fix this. He will."

"Okay..." Holden trailed as I stared at him threateningly.

"If you share a word about anything I said, I will hurt you, Holden," I responded and he nodded.

"I won't say a single word. Not one," he announced.

+++

When we arrived, I entered the school alongside Holden. We separated and I headed to my locker, ready to start out my day with science. When I arrived, I saw a familiar blonde staring there with pursed lips and her books in her arms. "What are you doing?" I asked her bluntly, not bothering to be kind and polite anymore.

"Are you trying to break me and Axel up?" she asked me, not bothering to put on a happy face.

"Yes, absolutely," I responded sarcastically, earning a glare from her.

"It seems that you are after what you did," she responded.

"Yeah, what did I do?" I asked her.

"You basically told me that Axel was cheating on me with you, and then you went and made him think I was crazy for misunderstanding your words," she hissed while I shrugged.

"I don't recall doing that," I told her.

"You want to know what I think?" she asked.

"No, not really," I retorted.

"I think that you're in love with Axel and you're just jealous of me," she informed me. This information is not new to me. I've heard this from the guys fourteen times each.

"Axel was my best friend. I'm not nor will I ever be in love with him. And trust me; I'm not jealous of you. There's nothing to be jealous of anyway," I told her.

"Well, there's the fact that I have Axel," she remarked and I snorted, shoving the last of my items for the day into my bag.

"Congratulations," I told her. "You've managed to get yourself a guy that you don't deserve. Just wait until he realizes how much better he can do."

"Axel and I are very happy together," she lied. Anyone with eyes and a brain can figure that they have more problems than the world has people. "That's actually what I came here to talk to you about."

"I don't really want to hear the details of your relationship," I responded only to be ignored.

"Our relationship is good, but it can get better. One of the ways it can improve is if you step out of the picture. So I would appreciate it if you'd stop talking to my boyfriend," she blurted and my eyebrows shot up as I gripped the door of my locker tightly.

"Why don't you ask Axel to stop talking to me and see how that goes?" I asked her before slamming my locker shut. I gave her a short smile before turning around and heading to Chemistry, rolling my eyes as I went.

When Axel arrived, I looked at him and he sighed. "What'd she do now?" he inquired before sitting down.

"Well, she basically insulted me and then kindly asked me to stop talking to you," I informed him.

"She what?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"She politely asked me to stop talking to you," I informed him.

He sighed as he looked at me. "And what did you say?" he asked.

I bit my lip when I realized that he probably wouldn't like my answer. "I told her to ask you to stop talking to me."

He stared at me for a few seconds and I felt my face redden from embarrassment. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse; I expected to have a humorous conversation about how crazy his girlfriend is. My mouth had a different topic of conversations in mind. "Is that how you feel?" he asked bluntly and the conversation veered off the road I didn't want it to go down and is going down yet another unintended road.

"No," I told him, shaking my head. "I said that because if she asked me, then she was probably too scared to ask you. Hopefully she doesn't ask you."

"Why not?" he asked and I just shrugged in response. "Are you scared of what I'd say or something?"

I stared at him, watching as he assessed me. "Would it be bad to say I am?" I inquired.

"Why would you be?" he questioned and I looked the other way, avoiding his gaze.

"I mean, you cut me off so easily the first time," I told him. "Who's to say you won't do it again?"

He sighed and Mr. Porter began speaking to the class. "We'll talk about this later."

As the day continued, I found myself searching for Axel in hopes of continuing where we left off in Chemistry. That conversation could be the dirt at the bottom of the hole I'm trapped in. However, it seemed as if my old best friend was nowhere to be found. I would've attempted to talk to him during lunch, but he was with Victoria, who wasn't letting him out of her sight. When English, the only other class we have together, came around, he was in his usual spot, seated beside Miles, who was talking to him excitedly. He glanced at me as I passed him and I wanted to groan aloud. This conversation definitely isn't happening anytime soon.

"What's got you so down in the dumps?" Sidney asked once I sat down as she twirled a piece of her long, black hair between her fingers.

"She can't talk to Axel," Camilla explained to Sidney in a dramatic voice, holding up a heart made with her fingers before pulling them apart. I glared at her, scowling.

"We were talking about something important," I told Sidney.

"Yeah, what? The weather? Anything regarding Axel is important to you," Camilla snorted and I shoved her slightly, earning a laugh from her. "Oh, Axel, I love you so much."

"Shut up, Cam. He's sitting right there," I hissed, nodding at the table only two ahead of ours. "And I don't even like him."

"Sure you don't," Cam retorted.

"I don't!" I snapped.

"What were you guys talking about?" Sidney pressed, butting in and changing the conversation. Camilla gave me a knowing look to which I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Our friendship, or lack thereof," I told Sid, who nodded. "I was thinking that the conversation could possibly end in us becoming friends again."

"Perhaps," Sidney responded. "Or maybe you'll end up kissing," she cooed as she wiggled her eyebrows, earning a high five over my head from Camilla. I glared straight ahead in annoyance.

"He has a girlfriend," I reminded them.

"What if he didn't?" Cam asked. "Would you?"

"No!" I retorted, a bit louder than I should have, earning the attention of a few of my classmates, and more importantly, Mr. Lukasz.

"What's so important that you have to shout over me, Ms. McAllister?" Mr. Lukasz queried, capping the dry erase marker and placing it down on his desk. I stared at him, opening and closing my mouth, struggling to find words. Now everyone was staring at me, including Axel.

"Nothing, sir," I told him.

"Then, please, Ms. McAllister, stop having side conversations and pay attention to the lesson," he spoke before uncapping the marker and turning back to the board.

"Yeah, Ms. McAllister, pay attention," Axel hissed from his seat two tables ahead of me. I saluted him with my middle finger, watching as he returned the gesture before turning back towards the board.

 "How romantic," Sidney cooed.