Chapter 12: Late Night Rooftop Conversations

School ended rather quickly on Friday and before I knew it, I was approaching the parking lot with Sam, who calmed down a lot from Tuesday, when he was interrogated by Dylan. Seeing as he began parking in an empty spot in row E, he had to walk past the guys in order to get to his car. Today, I had to join him. And it was just our luck that the guys decided to wait.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to make sure my brother knows that I'm not going home right away," I told Sam and he nodded. I approached the truck and walked up to my brother. "You can go home now," I blurted. "All of you. Please."

"You're still mad about Tuesday?" Dylan asked.

"No, I'm just not going home," I told him.

"You're spending the night at Sammy's house?" Isaac asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No," I told them before any assumptions could be made. "I'm going to froyo with him and then he's bringing me home."

"Is that what the kids call it these days? Froyo with him?" Miles asked and I glared at him. Kids? He's the youngest here.

"Didn't convince him to see a movie?" Axel inquired and I glared at him, too. Isn't he supposed to be helping me?

"So yeah, I'm not coming home until later," I informed my brother before turning towards Sam. I approached him and we walked to his car- a white pick-up truck.

"Let's go," he insisted as he opened the door for me. I got in, placing my bag in the area in front of my seat. He pulled out of his spot and as we were driving past the guys, they began calling at me to have fun on my date. Sam simply smiled at me before we headed in the direction of froyo.

We arrived at the frozen yogurt restaurant and I looked at him as he handed me a bowl. "What's good here?" I asked.

"Well that depends on what you like," he answered. "They have frozen yogurt but there's also ice cream. Do you like fruity things? Chocolate? Or vanilla? Cookies and cream?"

"Chocolate," I blurted.

"There's triple chocolate ice cream," he told me as he tapped the machine. I began filling it up, stopping when I decided it was enough. I moved on to the toppings, waiting for Sam who was getting a mixture of things, creating a Neapolitan sweet. When he stood beside me I noticed that he got a lot of ice cream. He saw me staring and smiled sheepishly.

"What are some good toppings?" I asked as I stared at the menu. What would taste good with triple chocolate ice cream?

"Fruits?" he asked and I snorted.

"I have a bowl of triple chocolate ice cream in my hands and you're asking if I want to put fruit in it?" I chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right," he laughed. "There are nuts and drippings and just sweets in general."

I skipped over the nuts and went straight for the drippings. I allowed caramel to layer over my ice cream. I moved on to the sweets, watching as Sam loaded his bowl with M&Ms, cheesecake chunks, and Snickers bits. I went for a more simple approach, allowing cookie dough bites to fall in my bowl. Once we finished making our desserts, we approached the scale and he told me to place mine up there, so I did. It was weighed and the amount was displayed. I began reaching into my pocket and Sam shook his head.

"I got it, don't worry," he smiled and I hesitated. If I don't pay then that makes this a date. Well, it still could've been a date had we paid for ourselves but he seems like a traditional guy. I watched as he weighed his treat, too, and paid for both of them.

Once everything was purchased, we sat at the tables and ate. After a few bites, he grinned at me. "So do you like it?" he inquired.

"Yeah it's good," I admitted. I had a feeling I was eating it too fast though and I'd finish way before him. I glanced at his bowl and internally panicked when I noticed he hadn't made a dent in it. Slow down, I urged myself.

A bunch of small talk later and he was finishing his bowl. I still had a small amount left and I mentally high-fived myself for finishing after him. Normally, if I was with someone I was comfortable around, I'd eat the entire bowl in less than two minutes and maybe even go back for more. But I paced myself, and I ate when he ate so we wouldn't have any awkward 'one second I'll respond to your question once I'm finished eating' moments.

"Do you have any siblings?" I asked once we stopped talking about my brother and embarrassing things I've had to deal with because of him.

"I have a brother, actually," he told me with a laugh.

"How old is he?" I asked him curiously.

"Eleven," he answered. "He's more of a nerd than me."

"I doubt that," I joked and he laughed again. We proceeded to talk about all the nerdy things that I haven't had someone to talk to about. My friends aren't really nerdy. In fact, they get on me about liking anything remotely fictional. They laugh at me whenever they see my movie posters on my wall when we video chat.

He didn't start driving to drop me off until roughly 5:30 and we didn't arrive until about 6:15. I had fun and if the guys ask, it was a pretty good "first date." I wonder what it would've been like with someone I actually liked. I didn't kiss him, which I'm happy about. I'm not good with reading body language so I couldn't tell if he wanted to kiss me and I disappointed him. Either way, I escaped without making lip to lip contact with him. I want to save my second kiss for someone I actually like.

While I was unlocking the front door, I noticed Holden's car in the driveway. If he's here, my brother's other friends are probably here, too. Maybe Axel? I probably shouldn't be thinking that seeing as I just got home from what one would consider a date with Sam. I quickly jogged upstairs, undressing and changing into more comfortable clothing. As I plopped down on my bed, I checked my phone, responding to Axel's message first.

It was fun. I sent the text before going back to my other messages. A few moments later, my bedroom door was nudged open and Axel peeked in. "What are you doing in my house?" I asked him, though I knew the answer.

"I followed you guys on your date. You really didn't see me?" he asked before grinning. "I was hanging out with Dylan and Holden, stupid."

"Then why are you in here?" I asked him and he dropped on my bed, lying across the space where my feet were once resting. I was now sitting cross legged as I stared at him.

"I came to ask how it went," he informed me. "So how'd it go?"

"It was fun," I told him honestly. "I mean, it could've gone better."

"How so?" he asked.

"I mean, it probably would've been more fun had I liked him and had I been able to pay," I told him.

"He paid for you?" Axel asked and I nodded. "He totally thought it was a date."

"Yeah, I know," I muttered. "That's why I wanted to pay for myself."

"So what'd you do for three and a half hours?" he inquired.

"We talked and ate..." I trailed. That's pretty much all we did. Not much else happened.

"Did you kiss him?" Axel asked as he stared at me.

My face reddened as I shook my head. "No," I answered embarrassedly. Should I have?

"That's okay. You don't have to kiss anyone you don't want to," he told me and I suddenly had flashbacks of last Friday night. I wonder if he's going to bring it up...ever. I wonder if he even knows what I was doing or if he assumes I was just restless. I could use the 'I was fidgety card' but I hope he wouldn't counter it with a 'You were staring at my mouth with this weird look on your face' card. I really hope he's clueless. But I doubt he is. Victoria will never let that go and she probably reminds him of the time he almost became a cheater whenever she gets mad at him.

"Good because I didn't want to kiss him," I decided to say.

"So what are you going to say if he asks you on another date?" he furthered.

"Yes?" I replied, unsure of what I should say. Would it be mean if I said no? The first date went well. I just don't like him in a romantic way. I don't want him to think I hate him, though. Hanging out with him is fun; it'd just be best if it wasn't a date setting. Perhaps if we had other friends around.

"Why would you say that?" Axel questioned.

"Because the dates are fun," I told Axel honestly.

"What if he asks you to be his girlfriend?" Axel queried.

"I'd say no," I retorted as if he answer was simple.

"Why?" he continued

"Because I don't like him like that," I replied.

"Then why would you say yes to dates?" Axel asked. "I didn't think I'd have to ever warn you about this, but don't lead him on."

"I'm not going to lead him on," I retorted, shocked that he'd accuse me of such a thing.

"Going on dates with him when you don't like him is leading him on," Axel informed me.

"Really?" I questioned as I held my knees to my chest.

"Yes," he answered. "You're making him believe you like him when you don't."

"But I feel bad if I say no," I responded.

"You'll feel even worse when you're rejecting him when he asks you to be his girlfriend," Axel informed me.

"So how do I casually let him know that I'm not interested before he asks me on another date?" I questioned.

"Just talk about it at your lunch table. Casually mention your interest in someone else, even if you're lying. Sam's smart. He'll take the hint," Axel told me while staring at me and I sighed, placing my hands on my thighs.

"Okay, I got this," I responded.

"You got this," he repeated, nodding at me.

"Are you spending the night?" I asked curiously.

"No, I have a date at eight, actually," he informed me as he glanced at his phone. "I have to be out of here by 7:20."

"What are you guys doing?" I inquired.

"I think we're going to see a movie, but I don't know," he explained. I stared at him and quietly sighed. Victoria is such a lucky girl. If only she saw what was right in front of her.

+++

I was lying in my bed at midnight, texting Axel. Or at least I was texting Axel. He hasn't responded for the last twenty minutes and when he was responding, the messages were short and usually one word. I asked him how his date went but he never replied. My phone vibrated on my stomach and I grabbed it.

Are you awake? he sent. I quickly responded, curious as to where he disappeared off to. Get on the roof. I stared at his message and felt a lump well up in my stomach. We used to do this a few months ago. Whenever he wanted to talk to me, he'd drive over and we'd sit on the roof and talk, sometimes for hours. Usually he'd spend the night unless it was a school day. Then he'd drive the half hour back home. But it was only for serious matters. He drove over here when his grandfather died and he needed someone to talk to, but he never just drives over at midnight for fun. Something's wrong.

I quickly dressed in more appropriate clothes before opening the window and climbing out to the roof. I stared down at the ground and Axel quietly told me to move back. A quiet thud sounded and I watched as his hands landed on the shingles, slowly pulling himself up. Once he was safe, he crawled toward the center of the roof, where I was sitting, and I stared at him. In the dim moonlight I saw red, puffy bags under his eyes, which were covered by his glasses. I looked at him with a large frown on my face.

"What happened?" I questioned and rather than answering me, he hugged me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me to him and buried his head against my shoulder, sniffling quietly. "It's okay," I whispered as I held his head.

We sat like that for a few minutes and I wondered if he heard my heart pounding in my chest because it was going pretty fast. When he finally pulled away from me, I asked him again. "What happened?"

He swallowed deeply, holding his knees to his chest as he stared at the sky. "I broke up with her."

"Victoria?" I asked him. Normal Axel would give me a sarcastic answer but sad Axel just nodded. "Why? What happened?"

"A lot..." he trailed. "Our date was just horrible."

"What happened?" I asked again. It seems to be the only thing I can say.

"I got there late because of traffic," sniffle, "and she asked where I was so I told her I was here hanging out with you. I thought she wouldn't get mad because we fixed things again, but she got really angry. And she just started going off on me, calling me names and just being mean. She just kept going and going and—."

"What was she saying?" I asked him.

"She was just calling me a cheater and saying a bunch of stuff about how I like you more than her and then I told her that I did because you didn't make me feel bad about being myself and doing things I liked. And that wasn't the right thing to say to her because she hit me. She slapped me in the face," he spoke.

"She slapped you?" I asked him in shock.

"Yeah," he replied. "And I couldn't do anything about it."

"And then what happened?" I asked as I stared at him. I had the urge to hit her, to just hit her in the face because he couldn't.

"She asked me to stop talking to you and that if I did, she'd forgive me, that she loved me and she didn't want to lose me."

"And what'd you say?" I asked him.

"I told her that she didn't love me and if she did love me, she wouldn't hit me and she wouldn't call me names, and she definitely wouldn't treat me the way she does," he responded. "And then I told her that we were over and that I couldn't take it anymore."

"And then?" I asked.

"She hit me again and told me that I was lucky to have had her and that I didn't deserve her. And she said that I should've taken the chance she'd given me and that I was stupid for choosing you over her," he responded. "And then I just left."

"Where'd you go?" I asked him.

"I drove home and just sat in the car. That was when I was texting you," he explained.

"Were you crying?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he told me, followed by a sniffle. "I was."

"Are you okay?" I asked stupidly. Of course he's not okay.

Wiping his nose, he shrugged. "I'm not dead."

"Just because you're not dead doesn't mean you're okay," I told him and he sighed.

"I'll live," he explained. "I'm better off without her, right?" He looked up at me with glassy, bulbous eyes and I felt my heart shatter in my chest.

"Yes," I told him. A hundred times, yes. "You deserve a girl who cares about you and won't treat you like crap." He had his head against his arms and I knew he was crying again. I wrapped my arms around him and he sniffled again, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry she did this to you," I whispered quietly.

"Me, too," he murmured.

+++

A half hour later and we were still on the roof but we were laying down now. He had his head on my stomach and we were just staring at the sky. I knew he was still awake mainly because he would fidget slightly or rub his eye. We hadn't talked much since he told me what happened but that's okay because just being here seems to make him less panicky.

"Alexis..." he trailed.

"Yes?" I responded, assuming he was just going to ask if I was awake. Instead he shifted so he could look at me. "Why'd you lie to me?"

"About what?" I asked him curiously.

"About liking Holden," he told me. "You told me the other day that you liked Holden but apparently, a few days before that, you told Holden that you didn't like him." Curse you Holden.

"I needed you to believe that I liked Holden," I admitted. I don't have the heart to lie to him, not now.

"Why?" he asked.

"So you'd stop calling me jealous," I lied.

"Really?" he inquired, staring up at me with his large, glassy eyes. They were the color of coffee and I found myself getting lost in them. The moon reflected off of his glasses, making them all the more enticing. I sighed and looked up at the sky.

"No," I responded. I can't lie to him again, especially not now.

"Then why?" he questioned

"I don't really want to talk about it," I admitted. He actually listened to me and kept silent, allowing his head to rest back on my stomach. A few moments later, however, he was back at it with the questions, turning over to stare at me with his glossy eyes.

"Remember on Friday when we were outside," he started and I wondered if he felt my stomach clench, "and you were telling me that you liked someone and you knew they didn't like you back?"

"Yes," I answered. "What about it?"

"If you weren't talking about Holden, who were you talking about?" he asked. And this is where all of my lies come tumbling down. I should probably feel guilty for lying and I do but I wish my fibs they could've lasted another day or so, just so I wouldn't have to tell him about my feelings in a situation like this.

"Who do you think I was talking about?" I asked him curiously.

"I was going to say Sam but as far as I know, he wasn't in the picture yet. And he's very open about his feelings for you," he retorted. "So I don't know, which is why I'm asking."

"Don't worry about it," I told him, running my hand through his soft, dark hair.

"One more question," he blurted and I wondered what other revelations he could ask for.

"Yes?" I asked. This one required him to sit up, so I followed suit. Oh boy, what now?

"You have to be honest with me," he insisted.

"I plan to be," I replied.

"Were you going to kiss me?" he asked.

"What?" I responded, trying to buy myself some time. Does he really need a girl to break up with him and a girl to confess her feelings for him all in the same night? Apparently.

"When we were outside, just before Vic drove up, and I had you up against the truck, were you going to kiss me?" he asked.

"Well...what would you say if I said yes?" I inquired as I stared at him. He gazed into my eyes for a minute before I looked away, feeling my palms go sweaty.

"I'd ask why," he replied.

"And what if I told you that I just wanted to?" I answered.

"Then I'd say that you should work on your timing," he informed me.

"And I'd say that it wasn't something I'd planned," I replied.

"I'd ask who you were talking about before you tried to kiss me," he responded.

"I'd ask who you think it was," I replied.

"I'd say that I think it's me," he answered.

"I'd tell you that's a pretty bold statement," I retorted. "And then I'd ask why you'd think that."

"I'd say because you tried to kiss me," he responded.

"I'd ask how long you've been thinking about this," I replied.

"I'd say since the day it happened. I'd also note that you didn't respond to my original statement," he replied.

I sighed and stared at my hands. "So what are you asking me, Axel?"

"Am I the person you're trying to get over?" he clarified and I stared at the roof tiles. Well...the jig's up.

If I say yes, will it change anything? Will you avoid telling me anything personal in fear of involving me in any of your future relationships? Will you tell all of the guys and let them laugh at me? Or will nothing change? Will you continue to treat me like you did before you were privy to this information? Will you keep the secret to yourself and avoid telling anyone about it? I think the real question is: am I willing to take this chance? "Yeah," I answered with a sigh.

"How long?" he inquired after a few seconds of staring at me. I looked at the sky in order to evade his gaze.

"Too long," I answered as I rested my head on my arms.

"And how long is too long?" he asked.

"Since the sixth grade," I told him. We weren't even friends and I liked you. And when I saved you from suspension in the seventh grade with that stupid joke, I was gone. When we were still friends in eighth grade, I was ecstatic. When you met Victoria, I felt like everything was collapsing around me. There was silence but after a moment or two, I looked at him. "Now what?"

"What?" he inquired.

"Is it going to be awkward?" I asked him.

"Not unless you make it awkward," he responded.

"You didn't have any assumptions at all?" I asked. "Ever?"

"Not since Friday," he told me. "You could've told me you started liking me a month ago and I would've believed it. Tell me, did you ever like Holden?"

"Yeah, for a short time in eighth grade," I told Axel. "But I think it was because he was new and I saw him as someone that could've potentially liked me seeing as none of the boys in the middle school did."

"Henry Davies?" Axel inquired.

"I said he was cute," I responded. "I never said I liked him."

"Didn't you have a thing for nerdy guys, though?" he asked and I nodded. "Then how'd you start to like me?"

"You just blocked out your entire sweater vest, khakis, and glasses period, didn't you?" I asked him.

Cringing and removing his glasses, he shook his head. "Let's not talk about sixth grade."

"I just want you to know that I didn't like Victoria, not because I liked you, but because she treated you badly," I told him. "Not once did my feelings for you impact my opinion of her." At least none of the opinions I shared with you.

"Okay, I believe you," he responded.

I stared at him as he gazed ahead. "Do you have any other questions?" I inquired.

"Why'd you wait so long?" he queried.

"To tell you?" I asked.

"To make a move," he grinned. "I thought I trained you well enough to get what you want."

It made me feel weird that he referred to himself as something I want. Though true, still awkward. This entire conversation is awkward. I definitely wouldn't be having it with anyone but Axel. "If I would've kissed you that day, you would've been classified as a cheater. And that wouldn't have rolled over well with Victoria or any girls you could've been with in the rest of your high school career. Plus, the guys would talk so much about how they knew about my feelings the entire time. And you probably would've hated me for breaking you and Victoria up. So I'm glad I didn't kiss you."

"That's not what I asked," he replied after listening to what I had to say. "Before Victoria, why didn't you make a move?"

"Because I didn't want to mess things up," I told him. "If I'd have kissed you in ninth grade, I would've ruined everything. You would've been awkward and uncomfortable and you probably wouldn't have wanted to be my friend for much longer."

"What makes you say that?" he asked. Hm, let me think. I'm not your type. You were so excited about all of the new girls in high school that my confidence plummeted. You had crushes throughout the years that I couldn't even begin to compare myself to. But I'm not quite sure, Axel.

"Look, I don't want to get into it. But I didn't make a move and if I had in the past, we probably wouldn't be friends," I told him. "I enjoy our friendship and I wouldn't want to let my stupid feelings affect it."

"Okay," he replied.

"It's cold and I know you're tired," I told him, not feeling like answering any more questions. "Let's go inside."

He nodded as I approached the window, shoving it open further so I could enter. Axel followed behind me, landing quietly. I looked at him and pointed to the dresser. "You could change into some sweatpants if you want," I told him. Rather than going to the bathroom, he just started unbuttoning his jeans. "That confession out there didn't mean anything to you?" I asked while staring at him.

He slowly stopped removing his pants. "Should I change in the bathroom?" he asked. I stared at him and rolled my eyes.

"Do whatever, I don't care," I retorted. He shrugged and continued removing his pants. I just stared at my phone, trying to occupy myself. I had no messages and all of my social media feeds were bare, seeing as everyone I follow was asleep. I sighed as I just stared at the screen of my phone, trying not to look at the changing boy a few feet away.

I looked over to see what was taking so long and he was removing his shirt. I was relieved when I saw that he kept his undershirt on. "Is my toothbrush still in the bathroom?" he asked and I nodded, watching as he walked to the bathroom, flipping on the lights. At first I heard him peeing and I looked at the door to see that it was open. I dropped my head back down and shook my head. I think he's too comfortable around me.

"Why do you only have cinnamon toothpaste?" he asked once he finished in the bathroom. Placing his glasses on the bedside table, he crawled on the bed beside me.

"Because mint makes me nauseas," I told him.

"This is okay right? If you're uncomfortable, I can go downstairs or to Dylan's room," he informed me when he noticed that I was staring at him.

I narrowed my eyes. "Just go to sleep, Axel." It's just making me feel weird how comfortable he is, knowing that I like him, yet still doing things he'd normally do. I mean, obviously I'm not going to react weird and get all awkward but it's still odd how he changes in front of me and leaves the bathroom door open like he wasn't just informed that I've harbored a crush on him for the last few years.

"Are you asleep?" he asked after ten minutes.

"Yes," I responded and he scoffed.

"I'm not," he told me.

"Really? You had me fooled," I blurted.

I smelled his cinnamon breath as he lay beside me, moving closer while shifting around. "I'm cold," he announced.

"Unless you want to go downstairs and get a blanket from the closet, then I suggest you shut up," I responded as I snuggled deeper into my blankets. I'm not moving, especially not for Axel. His hand brushed against the back of my head and it felt oddly cold.

"You're warm," he muttered. Yes I am.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him when I felt his hands brush against my neck. My eyes widened when he reached over and grabbed my arm, yanking me towards him. This action caused me to flip onto my back. He placed his head on my chest and allowed his hand to sling over my stomach. I felt my face begin to heat up and I prayed he wouldn't comment on my heart rate.

"Your heart is beating really fast right now," he told me. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" I retorted with a sigh. "Just go to sleep, Axel."

"Goodnight Alexis," he murmured.

"Night, Axel."

+++

"What's this?!" a familiar voice shouted and I woke with a jolt. I looked up and saw my brother standing in the doorway. I tried to move but found that Axel was practically lying on top of me. His head was settled on my chest and his arm was resting over my stomach, pinning me down. I slapped the idiot awake and he muttered something about how the alien army was after him before rolling onto his back.

"Get up," I insisted and he turned the other way, burying his head in the pillow.

"What?" he asked in his morning voice.

"What is this?" Dylan repeated from the doorway.

"Calm down," I grumbled as I sat up. "He came over last night and I told him to just sleep over."

"And why couldn't he sleep on the couch? Or in my room? Or in the basement?" my brother asked.

"Why are you freaking out? He's slept here before," I told my brother.

"Before you...you know," my brother insisted and I shook my head.

"He knows," I responded.

"You can't have boys you like sleeping in the same bed as you. Especially not on top of you," my brother replied.

"He wouldn't do anything," I retorted. "And I wouldn't either," I felt compelled to add. I don't want my brother thinking I'd seduce Axel. I shivered at the thought. Weird.

"Still," my brother added as he looked at Axel, who was now sleeping on the other side of the bed, yanking the covers from me. I pulled them back, coming up short as he yanked them away yet again. I sighed and sat up. "If this happens again, I'm telling mom and dad."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, get out of my room," I muttered and he left, leaving the door open. I sighed and walked to my closet. Grabbing a change of clothes, I headed to the bathroom, actually closing and locking the door.

By the time I got out of the shower and got dressed, Axel still was asleep. I walked over to the bed and jumped on it. He stirred slightly but nothing else happened. I shoved him and he mumbled something quietly. "Axel!" I said loudly.

"What?" he retorted as if he was completely awake.

"You've got to get up," I told him.

"Unless you've got breakfast for me, I'm not getting up," he responded.

"I'll make you pancakes," I attempted.

"Chocolate chip?" he inquired, opening one eye.

"Yeah," I responded. Do we even have chocolate chips?

"Okay," he replied. He laid there for a few more minutes and I waited with crossed arms.

"You're not getting up," I blurted.

"Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes, you do, come on," I announced, grabbing his arm and tugging him lightly.

"Alexis, can I sleep until you make the pancakes?" he asked and I sighed.

"Fine," I announced as I walked out of the room.

As I made breakfast, I thought about what my brother had said. Was it weird to share a bed with Axel now that I've come to terms with my feelings for him? I mean, he's spent the night before plenty of times and that's not the first time I woke up with him sprawled across me. He's a wild sleeper; we can't help that. Yeah, he could've slept somewhere else, like the couch or the basement, but he was already in my room. Plus everyone was asleep, why take the chance of waking them up? Besides, it's not like we're going to do anything!

"Can I have some pancakes?" someone asked from behind me. I turned around to see Holden and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"You're still here?" I asked him as I flipped one of the pancakes.

"Yes," he replied. "Your brother and I finished our project for Physics."

"Congrats," I muttered as I placed a finished pancake on the growing stack to my left. "How many do you want?"

"Four?" he asked as he approached the counter, pulling himself up. "Or five..."

"I'll just make all of the mix," I decided as I looked at the batter.

"All of that for three people?" he asked me.

"Four," I corrected. "Axel is eating, too."

"Where is he?" he inquired.

"He's in my room sleeping," I explained and Holden's eyebrows rose.

"Uh..." he trailed, struggling to find words.

"Calm down, pervert. We didn't do anything. We just talked," I told Holden as I rolled my eyes.

"Oh...I thought he left last night," Holden replied.

"He did...and then he came back," I responded.

"When?" He stared at me, waiting for an answer.

"Around midnight," I informed him while flipping a pancake.

"Does your brother know...about your uh...feelings for, you know?" Holden awkwardly started.

"Axel?" I asked him, earning a nod. "Yeah."

"What'd he say?" Holden asked, earning a shrug in response.

"Not much. This morning, he said that Axel and I can't share a bed whenever he sleeps over though," I replied.

"You guys share a bed?!" Holden asked with wide eyes.

"We don't do anything!" I told him, flipping another pancake.

"Okay..." Holden trailed dubiously.

"We don't!" I blurted.

"Just don't try to kiss him again," Holden joked. I glared at him shortly before shoving his leg. "Look, I'm just saying. If you do it again, he'll get suspicious—."

"He knows already," I told Holden.

"That you like him?" Holden asked and I nodded. "Geez, do you keep anything from that boy? I swear- you share your bed, your secrets, your food...."

"He asked if I tried to kiss him the other day and I told him I did. I guess it just happened," I told Holden. "I'm trying to get over him anyway."

"Is that why you're talking to Sam?" Holden asked.

Is it? I asked to be introduced to Sam because of what happened on that Friday with Axel. Do I think he's cute? Yes. Am I romantically attracted to him? No. But maybe that could change with time. He's fun to hang out with, so maybe I could find myself becoming more attracted to him in a way that could result in a relationship. But only time can tell, right? However, as of right now, I'm not into him. Would he be into me in, say, four months when I'm completely over Axel? "Uh...kind of?" It's too much to explain everything I went over in my head. He'll be satisfied with that answer.

We continued speaking and eventually, I finished making the rest of the batter. I went upstairs and found Axel rolled up in the blanket, sound asleep. I jumped on the bed and he slowly opened his eyes. "What?" he grumbled.

"I made breakfast," I told him.

"Pancakes?" he asked me and I nodded. "Chocolate chip?" I nodded again and before I could even move, he was shoving me aside and running downstairs. I pushed the blankets off of me and walked down the steps at a much slower rate. My brother joined the table with wet hair and his work uniform on. I noticed a good portion of the stack was gone. I grabbed a plate, along with three pancakes and joined in on the eating. There wasn't much talk because everyone was scarfing down their food. I noticed that Holden just ate the pancakes bare, with no butter or syrup. Weird. My brother dipped his lightly buttered pancakes in syrup, while Axel drowned his cut up cakes in syrup. Weird.

"So when'd you get here last night?" my brother asked Axel, who finally stopped to chug some milk from the glass I poured for myself. I stared at my glass when he put it down. There was no more milk left. Great.

"Twelve," he told my brother.

"Why'd you come back?" Dylan asked.

"I needed to talk to your sister," Axel expressed.

"About what?" Dylan inquired. There was a moment of silence and even Holden turned his attention to Axel.

"I broke up with Victoria," Axel explained as he stared at the small pancake chunks.

"Really?" Holden asked with wide eyes.

"Finally," my brother blurted.

Axel chuckled awkwardly while nodding. "Yeah."

"What happened to your face?" Holden asked, noticing the red, faint handprint across his cheek, which I failed to see last night.

"Oh, this?" he asked as he rubbed at his face. "It's nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing," my brother responded.

"Anyone want milk? Or orange juice?" I cut in as I stood up abruptly.

"Yes, please," Holden spoke.

As I asked the three guys what they wanted, I saw Axel sigh in relief that he was no longer being pressured with questions. He looked at me, smiled, and fixed his glasses. I sighed quietly as I walked to the cabinet. Why do I like him so much?