Dedicated to: sora_ouma and ThatOneFujoshi-UWU who entertained me with their ongoing two day conversation. I owe you guys. 👌🏻 They (Sora and Fujoshi) blessed me headcanons which I APPROVE TO. THEY'RE GREAT. :)

✧ Chapter 71 ✧
[ The Ones That I Had Loved ]
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[ Kokichi's PoV ]

I skipped out of the classroom, leaving Rantaro after he had launched into another speech about his newfound crushes. He was sooo talkative, but at least I had stayed with him for two hours; the feat had earned me two glittery purple Friendship Fragments with the guy.

I was bored. Bored of talking to people who just wanted to rant about meaningless things. Topics which varied from how to play a boring game of tennis to creepy, big eyed bugs; all of my classmate's useless chatter meant nothing to me.

I wanted someone to see though my lies. Was that too difficult? However. The only one who actually payed close attention to my words was him.

"I'm telling you Maki, this is perfectly normal! I've seen Tenko and Himiko.. though she looks a little reluctant but that's not the point." the familiar voice of a ding-dong pianist exclaimed in her usual slightly high pitched tone.

I rounded the corner, coming across two girls whose fingers were laced together in a gesture I could immediately link to the word, 'affectionate'.

The short haired assassin muttered something I couldn't quite catch, followed by Kaede telling her something in return. Oooh. So this was who Amami-chan was dumped for. Nishishi.. who knew Akamatsu and Harukawa were an item?

I giggled to myself and decided to follow them. Maintaining a safe distance away; close enough to hear them, far enough to avoid detection.

They talked to each other for a long time, roaming the halls and stopping every now and then to talk to a fellow schoolmate. Once or twice, Maki glanced back, almost catching me, but thankfully, I darted away just in time.

However, just as they walked past a classroom, scary Maki glanced backwards without a warning.

I didn't have time to move, but instead of getting caught, I was pulled backwards, bumping against the person who saved me from my 'near death experience'.

"What are you doing?" Shuichi's quiet voice asked, as I quickly turned to face him. There he was, his warm golden eyes peering at me from behind his new fashion apparel.

"Are you trying to look make me fall for you? Because it's working." I blurted out, staring at his thin, black framed glasses. He looked so nerdy, but also cute at the same time. Geez.. and those glasses matched that pastel blue scarf wrapped around his neck.

From the slight condensation on his glasses, I figured he must've gone to the library. Of course he would. The cute geeky nerd with his clean white blouse, grey jeans and blue sneakers. Seriously. How can someone pull off this stupidly charming librarian look?

"Um.." he blushed, putting a hand to his glasses and pushing them up. "I wear contacts, but I decided to go for a change. Just like-."

"Your hat." I interrupted, giving the boy a wide grin. What's with these sudden bursts of random knowledge about him?! But to save myself from the stunned silence, I continued, "Aww, so are your beautiful eyes still gold? Or are those just contacts?" I asked, hoping to sound like it was a casual question.

Perhaps he wouldn't put two and two together and realise that I spent time staring into his eyes.

"My student ID says it's gambogeish. But," he chuckled, "Gold honestly sounds much nicer. Have you-."

"No." I interrupted him again, this time feeling a rush of heat on my face. Stupid Ouma. Stop. Trying. To. Finish. His. Sentences! I wanted to hit my head with the books in the detective's hands but it would look strange if I suddenly grabbed them and hit myself.

I shouldn't have assumed he was going to ask if I had spent half the time staring at him. He would think I was a perverted stalker! Or worse. Like stupid Iruma-chan. I think I barfed in my mouth a little as soon as the thought of that narcissistic inventor crossed my mind.

"I wanted to say, 'have you eaten' but.. Ouma-kun, are you alright? You're looking awfully pale." he looked worried, tilting his head just the slightest so I could see that his eyes were genuinely his usual shade of gold.

Lie. Lie lie lie.

"Yeah, I knew you were gonna say that." I smirked, "Thanks to our weird 'finish each other sentences' thing. Why do you ask? Do you actually wanna spend time with little ol' me?"

Shuichi pushed his glasses up again, seemingly uncomfortable by the plastic, before nodding. "If you want to, we can just hang out. I want to understand how you know me so well. Even Kaito can't finish my sentences half the time.." he trailed off, adding a laugh at the end.

"Are you inviting me to lunch just because you wanna find out more about our weird telepathy thing, Saihara-chan?" I asked, raising both eyebrows, "Boo, that's sad. I thought you really had a thing for the actual me.."

"What? No, I just want to invite you because.. you're interesting. Fun to talk to. Besides, I've collected the most fragments with you, so why not I finish collecting them all? Then we can finally finish Usami's Program.."

I pretended to pout, "But what about Momo-chan? He's surely better than me."

Shuichi gave me a lopsided smile, looking away slightly, "All he does is to talk about Maki. I should leave him alone.. perhaps they can level up their relationship with each other just like us."

I found his words funny because Momota-chan's gonna be disappointed when he finds out that scary assassin has a thing for piano freak.

"Since you're so polite," I grinned at him, twirling a strand of my hair, "I accept your generous offer."

Shuichi paused, looking surprised by my honesty. Wow, even I am surprised at myself. Maybe I should reward myself with some Panta later.

"Okay," the detective finally broke the silence, "By the way, it's not a lunch. This.. this sounds really rebellious but why not we meet at the same place as last night?"

Wow. How much more charming could he get? I tapped a finger to my chin, already bored of twirling my hair, "That's my 'hiding' spot, dummy. But fine. If you insist." I appeared cool about the exchange, but inside, I was elated! Him and I were going to be spending time together? ALONE? I had to resist the urge to yell: 'HOORAY'.

"But Ouma-kun," once again, he sounded hesitant about the nickname, though I could feel his growing confidence the more he used it, "I don't think you should be stalking Maki or Kaede.. they're kinda doing their own thing, so perhaps you should leave them alone."

I rolled my eyes, seeing through the meaning of his words, "Did Piano Freak or scary Maki ask you to say that to me?"

"Maybe." There was a moment's pause as a faint red dusted his cheeks, and again, his fingers brushed that stubborn strands of dark blue hair out of his eyes.

"Fineee." I drawled, before winking at him and skipping away, "Bye Saihara-chan~! See you tonight!"

I turned the corner and stopped, taking out the Monopad from my pocket. Three petals collected? Check. A huge crush on a bespectacled cute guy? Check.

I had to hold myself back from giggling to myself. Damn. How can he be so cute, charming and hot at the same time?

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"It is a date!" Keebo groaned with frustration, as I spun around on my trusty spindly chair. My surroundings soon blurred, but I didn't want to stop.

"How do ya know, half robot? Can you sense human feelings?" I asked curiously, my voice thrown into the wind but I didn't care. I was feeling too excited about my upcoming meeting with my beloved.

My roommate went silent for a second, as though even he didn't know what to consider himself as. "Of course I can sense feelings! I'm still half human! Now stop spinning! Saihara invited you to hang out with him alone, and that probably qualifies as a date!"

"I don't like the word, 'probably'."

"I'm so done with you," he sounded disappointed and hesitant when he said that. "You weren't as ignorant as this in your past life."

"Speaking of that," I continued spinning, planting my feet down on the ground and making it slide so I came to a slow halt, "Tell me more about my past. You left off at the exciting part where Saihara-chan and I got dragged off to the hospital. Also, I found it insane that Amami-chan turned out to be a Monokuma Traitor! Whattt?"

"I don't know if I am supposed to be telling you these things, it could mess up your relationship."

"Nah, it won't," I lied easily, kicking his chair playfully. "I'll treat it as some weird fanfic Shirogane-chan cooked up. Whoa~!" I placed my hands on my head as the room spun.

"I told you not to do that!" Keebo scolded in his annoying 'I-told-you-so' voice. But again, I ignored him, propping my head up expectantly.

"It's fun! Now tell me more about The Disease Called Love!" With a heavy sigh, Keebo started his story once more. A story which felt extremely draggy and sometimes even I had to lie upside down on my chair while listening to his droning voice.

I listened to him talk about Saihara-chan's adventures. The more he told the tales of the serums, the annoying deaths of useless people and the cute moments between my beloved and I, the more I desired to listen to his story of love and despair.

Maybe. I can finally get the chance to play it for my soulmate.

Tonight.

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[ 4:36pm // Saihara/Momota's Dorm Room ]
[ Shuichi's PoV ]

"It's not a date!" I swallowed nervously, pacing around my empty room. My feet made tracks across the soft carpet on the floor, a circle of footprints which went around and around the longer my thoughts wandered.

Kaito had left the place, with a note on my table which read: 'Back soon' with a little frowny face. Maybe he had found out about Maki's relationship with Kaede and was now looking around for another love interest. Knowing the guy, he wasn't the type to give up so easily.

"Okay, maybe it is a date," I told the full length mirror standing in front of me. "But why am I crushing on him? Kokichi Ouma. Of all people, why him?"

"Because he's funny. You like listening to his lies, and trying to find the truth in them. Even Kaito freaking Momota can't finish your dumb sentences, Shuichi Saihara. Now just go on that date, and treat it as such." my reflection told me, sounding disappointed.

I felt weird for talking to myself, but what choice did I have? There's no one else I could turn to when it comes to relationships!

I'm a loser. I wanted to just hide out in my room, and not look at anyone until the school year ends. I wanted to curl up at the edge of my bed and die or scream at something or even have a pity party for myself. But no. I couldn't leave Ouma alone if he turned up tonight.

I reviewed my plan once more, replaying the conversation. I invited Kokichi to hang out at the roof garden. So, I have to be there to see him.

My head rested against the cream coloured walls, hitting it so that bits of plaster and paint peeled away. I hope I didn't have to pay for that-.

"The wall didn't do anything to you, did it?"

I flinched, glancing at Kaede's amused expression. Then I realised. "Kaede? What are you doing in the boy's dormitories?!"

"The dorms are gender neutral," she laughed, a faint red across her face but it disappeared just as quickly, "Of course, we can't cross over at night, you silly boy. Haven't you read the school rules?" Okay. That actually explains why Miu was wandering around the boy's dormitories that day.

"I was busy.. there's not enough time to read the rules.." I replied uncertainly; even though there was nothing written down in my to-do list.

I realised that some deity had answered my prayers and sent help. I stopped the girl, "Kaede, you have to help me." I took a deep breath, realising that my hands were shaking. This was going to be tougher than I thought. Coming out to someone.. out of the blue. How did I not prepare myself for this? How would she react?

She paused, looking over her shoulder at me, before raising an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you have a crush on me too, Shuichi. You're a nice guy, but I'm already taken. Sorry-."

"No! That's not what I meant!" I groaned, rubbing my face with my right hand, "I meant- whoa, you're pretty loyal." I said instead, as the pianist looked proud.

"Go on." she walked over to me and sat down on a chair, patiently looking up.

"I think.. I have.. a crush.. on.." I muttered, trying not to blush as I watched Kaede's lips twist into a knowing smirk, but she waited for me to finish my sentence. I was grateful for her listening ear, but it appeared that she knew what I was going to say. Suck it up, Shuichi Saihara!

"I have a crush.. on Kokichi." I whispered under my breath, feeling my face heat up as the girl beamed. If she were the sun, she would have powered enough solar panels to last for three months or so. Before I could react, she then screamed happily (high pitched enough to break glass, mind you), jumped off the chair and crushed me into a tight hug.

"Ow- Kaede! You're killing me-!"

"I knew it!" she yelled in my ear, nearly bursting my eardrums, "I totally ship it! Oh no, I sound like Tsumugi, but you shouldn't let her hear you. She'll start spying on you two just to get some book ideas. Oh god, Shuichi! I'm so proud of you!"

"Kaede- please let go of me, you're going to kill me!"

"Oh my god, have you invited him on a date? You two are so cute! Wait, I need a ship name for the both of you, you're like that other senior couple- Komahina.. I think. Shirogane's been talking about them! But wait till she hears about- oh my God, Saiouma! That's it. You're now called Saiouma!"

"Kaede!"

"Does this explain why you've been looking down and anxious? You look sick, are you okay? Oh my god Shuichi! I'm so proud of you!"

"KAEDE!"

I raised my voice at her, making the girl finally calm down from her rambling. Her face with red and her eyes were shining with happy tears. She then placed a hand against her chest and making an exaggerated wheeze. "Okay, I'm done. Sorry, but I'm just really excited!"

I managed a smile at her enthusiasm, watching as she jumped around the room. "Have you invited him to lunch or something? Or a date? Oh my god, you're blushing, you did invite him on a date!"

I reminded myself to never underestimate Kaede, the girl was too smart. "Okay, fine," I admitted, rubbing my chest as the pianist took a deep breath, but I continued before she could fangirl even more, "I did invite him on a date. But I tried not to make it seem like it. Because we're just friends."

"And from there, it will eventually become a relationship." Kaede nodded knowingly, making a heart symbol with her hands and raising it up to her face to peer at me.

I threw a dark grey dog plushie at the girl; still blushing. "If you have any problems, bestie," she smirked, hugging the soft toy, "Call me."

I felt strangely proud to have Kaede as a best friend.. even though we've only just met a few days ago, and I barely knew her. But the thing is, I also felt as though I've known her before. Not as much as Kokichi, but familiar nevertheless.

I smiled at the girl, feeling more confident.

"Thanks Akamatsu.."

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[ 1:00am // Staircase to the Roof Garden ]
[ You might die from cuteness because I know I did ]

I pulled at the hem of my white, long sleeved shirt, feeling slightly cold despite the humid wind. It was a warm night on Dangan Island.. so I didn't know why I kept having goosebumps on my arms. I blamed it on the nausea.

Stretched out before me was the ascending staircase towards the roof garden, where a soft tune playing. Kokichi was already there, which was surprising.

I overheard him telling Gonta earlier that he liked to be late, no matter what. "It makes things fun when people has to wait for me!" the shorter boy had said as Gonta tried to tell him that it wasn't very gentlemanly to make people wait..

"I was wondering when you'd finally show up, Mister Detective." Kokichi didn't look up from his guitar, even as I walked towards him. Once again, the moon was shining brightly upon him, making his purple hair glow radiantly.

Tonight, he was dressed in a very casual way. His usual purple hair, pale skin, eyes focused on the instrument he held. He had on a pastel purple shirt, and black jeans, and somehow managed to wear one blue and white sock on each foot. And of course, his signature checkered bandanna tied around his neck.

He looked up at me and smirked, and for a heart stopping moment, he looked.. almost too pretty. There were handsome boys, but Kokichi was.. pretty and cute.

I looked down at the wooden floorboards, hoping he wouldn't catch me staring at him. Ouma's shoes were kicked to the side, abandoned in favour of going barefoot. I decided to follow suit, pulling off my shoes listening to him humming under his breath.

"Hellooo~? Saihara-chan?" his voice was softer now, as though he were afraid to wake people up. But we were in the clear, since the roof garden was situated away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers. "Are you listening to me? Geez, you're acting weird again."

"I'm not acting weird!" I retorted, stepping across the wooden floor to sit by him on the ledge. A chilled wind blew, replacing the feeling of nervousness with a calming presence. "Sorry.. I mean.."

"Do you wanna hear me play a song for you?" He asked, sparing me the lame excuse I was trying to form in my head. His purple eyes were bright with excitement, almost as if he were waiting for this moment.

I raised an eyebrow, "Um.. okay."

Kokichi giggled, a terribly cute sound. It fitted him, his childish appearance, his height. Everything he did.. was unhealthy cute, I couldn't help but feel myself turn red. "Okie dokie," he shook his hands, getting ready to play. "Now, I was just lying when I said I found this song on my phone. I made it up while you took your own sweet time when meeting me up here, Saihara-chan.. so you should appreciate it, okay?"

For a moment, his eyes darted up towards me, a look of uneasiness flashed across them. Perhaps he was thinking I was going to judge him..

"Ouma.. it's okay, just go ahead and play."

There was a pause, as he looked down at the guitar. With careful precision, he pressed the strings on the fret and started to strum a simple melody.

"While only barely alive
no hope, a lingering thread
Only held to the earth
by the IV of love

No reason to revive
believing in a lie
Another one to fall
into the hands of the doctor

There's no way to live,
the hurting, the dread
And while they lie in bed
with the UV above

"A fever was the woe",
the reason that they don't know
Was all of the indecisiveness
that they all held inside.."

With the hole in my own heart
that was slashed out by all that I love
That no amount of medicine
would be enough

Though you try to hide
the tears, in the end,
you're just playing pretend
Crying out to no one,
the pain, there's no end

The plague that I have caught
they call it "fallen in love.""

I sat beside him, listening to the quiet voice whispering these words into the night air. I couldn't believe it was actually him, Kokichi Ouma, singing these words. However, he didn't just sing.

And now while medicated,
even though they've "fallen in love"
Begging and pleading
everyday, hopes to survive

Desire to remain,
enduring all the pain
The will to live that lingers
in the heart of the patient

Alive, holding on, and all together,
Life has entangled them
inside an amalgam of fate

No breath can be taken,
the string cannot be broken,
The only relief comes when all
nerve impulses have died

All I wanna do is hide away
all the gaps inside my heart
But no amount of medicine
would be enough

Though alone I try to repair
all the pain it's been through
But the only way to heal
was to rely on you

The plague that I have caught,
they call it "fallen in love"."

Each word carried a meaning, whispered into the gentle wind to be carried off into the sky. I couldn't believe this was the same boy who was loud, and appeared to be constantly wanting attention from others. He was like an entirely different person, a personality he wanted to share with me. And only me..

The more he sang, the more I could hear the hopefulness in his voice. As though he wanted me to hear the meaning behind each word. But all I could concentrate on.. was his closed eyes, flushed cheeks and the tremble in his voice.

A beautiful lie
that wasn't reality
the trickery that hid away
the hope I can't see

And as the intermission
of this life had ended,
the final act of death
is all it could be

A wonderful dream
I knew I already lost,
the pain that I never end,
no matter the cost

I'm feeling like I can't breathe,
the love that I had,
now I realize to love, is death

The plague that I have caught,
the ones that I had loved

The plague that I have caught,
the death of all I love.."

And that moment. I realised why he felt so familiar. It was the way he laughed. The sparkle in his eyes as he challenged to find the truth in my words. His little games helped me gain confidence in myself. And I appreciated him for that.

He gave the guitar one last strum, before letting the sound fade away. He was a blushing mess, looking down at the guitar. Before I could stop myself, my palm rested against his heated cheek, feeling the smoothness and the heat emitting from it. Kokichi whipped his head around so fast, I nearly pulled away but instead, he held my wrist with a trembling hand.

He stared at me for a second, his eyes wide. "Um.. sorry." I apologised, but he didn't let go of my wrist. We stayed that way for a moment, my hand resting against his face and my heart hammering against my chest.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, shaking him out of his daze, "So," he cleared his throat, "Did you like my song? It's okay if ya didn't. Lots of people heard it before you, so don't feel special!" he stuck his tongue out at me, moving his hand away so I could remove mine. However, even as I pulled away, I couldn't forget the feeling of his warm skin under my fingers.

I managed a tense laugh, rubbing my fingertips, "You're lying, Ouma.. you said you wrote this song while waiting for me earlier." I caught his lie, making the boy blush again.

"Aww fine. So I was just lying. You caught me." he pouted as he placed the guitar on the floor behind us. I looked over the ledge and down to the ground far below, trying to forget the image of the pale skin of his back when he twisted around, his purple shirt lifting slightly as he stretched. A faint rush of wind nipped at my toes, making me feel cold, but my face was warm with embarrassment.

He finally turned back to look at the scenery stretched out before us. The night sky was beautiful, as dark as a raging ocean, covered by deep violet clouds. A promise of rain, judging by the look and the smell of an impending storm. In a way, the dark purple clouds reminded me of his eyes. Mysterious, so full of secrecy and hidden truths.

A faint pressure on my shoulder made me turn to see him, resting his head. His half lidded eyes were open, staring out into the darkened horizon. I was about to ask him what was he doing but stopped when a drop of water hit the fabric of his jeans. Then another. But it wasn't raining.

"Ouma? Why-." I started to say when he just closed his eyes so a tear was trapped in his eyelash. I watched as the drop rolled down his cheek and joined the one on his jeans. It made my heart ache to see him crying; right in front of me.

The boy who appeared to be happy and annoying to others on the outside. But in the inside, he was as broken as me. Maybe that was why I could get along with him as well. He reminded me of myself.

"I want us to remember. Is that too difficult?" Ouma's words weren't exactly directed towards me, but I sensed the bitterness in them, his anger towards something unknown. "I want to remember our past lives. What we did together and how we escaped the Hospital. Keebo's words aren't enough. I want to remember the relationship we had.."

He moved his head away and wrapped his arms around himself, fingers clutching the skin so hard, his knuckles were white. His eyes were focused on the top of the dark green trees, and for once, the purple irises held many emotions I had never seen on him. Sadness. Longing. Pain.

"What are you saying?" I've never seen him so stressed. My hand hovered uncertainly, before resting on his shaking shoulder. To my surprise, he didn't move away from my touch; he just seemed to shrink into himself a little.

"I don't care how many horrible things Keebo said we've done. The past lives we had together, no matter how stupid or evil. I want to remember what it's like.." his voice caught in his throat, before he continued shakily.

"I want to know what it's like to be loved by you."

It took some time for me to process his words. Was he talking about having a past life with me? How much did he know?

"We.." I cleared my throat, the small sound making Ouma's grip on his arms relax slightly, the skin turning to its usual pale-pink, "We were in love? How did you know that? Is that why you've been.. acting strangely around me?"

A small laugh came from him, before it was stifled by a hiccup. He covered his mouth, still not facing me. "You're the one who's been acting strangely.. Saihara-chan. And secondly, we.. we were in love. Keeboy told me all about it. I knew it would mess up our friendship but.. I was hoping you'd remember. Because I don't."

My mind drew a blank. "I don't remember anything Ouma. You were saying something about a hospital?" A slight nod from the boy. It was as though my memories were erased. But how could that happen? It would take some advanced technology just for that to work.

"We played a lot of games."

He finally looked at me, his face blotchy from crying but the redness was starting to fade.

"We escaped a burning library, you bandaged my hand and we were separated so many times. But.."

I glanced down at his pale, smooth hand, which was imploring me to stretch my fingers to brush against his.

"We always ended up together again. No matter what. Don't get me wrong.." he laughed again, though he sounded miserable while doing so, "Maybe this life of ours could be different, and we'll end up to different lovers instead. You're.." his purple eyes darted up to mine, "Probably thinking that I'm a crazy stalker, aren't you?"

I could see it in his eyes. The glimmer of hope. He wanted me to remember, but I couldn't. However, I decided to.. take matters into my own hands. Create a future for us to replace.

I didn't answer him, I just reached out and touched the back of his hand. Ouma went silent, twitching slightly from my touch but before I could lose my nerve, my fingers interlocked with his.

A wordless answer.

♥ End of Chapter Seventy-One ♥