PICTURE OF JAKE ON THE RIGHT >>>>>

JAKE'S POV

It's days like these that I can't stop my mind from wandering. The carefully placed walls that took years to build in my mind crack ever so slightly from time to time. The walls that effectively protect my heart from painful memories... So many thoughts creep into my mind distracting me from the matter at hand. Voices that I don't want to hear, questions I don't want to answer. It's very annoying, especially since today is merely Tuesday. People refer to Wednesday as "Hump Day" but not me. Tuesday is probably the worst day of the week, due to the fact that I have to sit here and listen to my father and the other board members blather on about nonsense I can handle on my own. When I first started to take over the company I treasured every word they said, and who wouldn't? These men are legends in the business world; all having their own struggle to overcome and a success story that is inspirational for all. In the beginning they were enlightening and encouraging but now... just shoot me.

I glance around the board room with disgust. These men do nothing but mooch off of the money I make. They sit here acting as if they give a damn about my hard work for this company, when all the while they are just making sure they don't lose any money in the process. Each one of them is pathetic to me including my father. Sure we do get along much better than we ever have but I don't like to be talked down to let alone by him and he has a tendency to do that whenever we have these meetings. Today they all chose to talk about the importance of alliances with neighbouring companies. Meaning I have to haul ass to partner with more companies that will most likely not be beneficial to me, so that these jerkoffs can eat their AAA steaks without breaking their banks. Like I said pathetic.

"What do you think Jacob?" My father turns to me and I keep my stoic facade. I have no idea what any of them were saying but that doesn't mean they need to know that. As soon as I am about to answer I am paged by my secetary.

"Mr. Worthington, a Mr. Daniels is here to see you. He says it's urgent." I inwardly smirk at the announcement. Trevor always knows when to make a grand entrance. I look over to the 6 other men in the room including my father and nod my head in acknowledgement. They return the gesture and I leave the room with a small smile. Walking towards my office I get into my private elevator that takes me a floor higher and sigh. The stupid thoughts are beginning to evade my mind again.

I wonder what life would have been like if I continued to date Beth?

Beth? Why in the world would she pop into my head? Right now Beth is most likely walking down fifth avenue trying to pick out the perfect wedding dress. Yes, a wedding dress. I could say I'm happy for her but that would be a lie. In fact whenever I think about it, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and a pounding in my head. When we all arrived home from Anguilla apparently her sisters had found her the perfect man. His name was Tony... no William... damn it I know it... ah yes his name is Caine. Yes that's it. Caine Marshall. He's an investment banker and son of one of Donald Trump's apprentices. Beth had asked us to come with her to meet this man but I refused... still in mourning of course. From what Trevor has told me these two were made for each other and not because of their monetary value. He earnestly cares for her and dotes on her every second he can. I've been told he looks at her the way I used to look at... He popped the question a few months ago and the wedding should be coming soon. I can't remember really. I doubt I'll even go. The elevator dings and I walk into my office to see Trevor flirting with my newest secretary Melissa.

"You said it was urgent." Trev turns around and smiles, his bright blue eyes shining like he has a secret. I keep my composure in front of Melissa but in my mind I roll my eyes at him.

"Hey Jake. Just the man I was looking for. Let's talk in your office." He leads the way and I follow behind him, quickly sending the secretary a look of disapproval for flirting on the job. When we get into my office Trev plops himself on his personal couch, that he bought two years ago, while I settle behind my desk and open my messages. Of course the majority are unread, because I literally do not have the time to read them all, so I send a message to Melissa to check them and let me know their order of importance. I sigh and lean back in my $10,000 orthopedic chair and look over to Trevor.

"So what brings you here today? Usually you wait until Friday to harass me so you can drag me out to another one of those heinous clubs." He sits up from the couch and a look a pure seriousness takes over his face.

"Before I tell you this, I want to ask you a question." I raise my eyebrows at him to carry on and he clasps his hands together. "Why do you have a new secetary every 6 months?" My eyebrows furrow and I turn away from him. "And why do all of their names start with an M?" I grind my moulers and clench my fists. He knows this is a touchy subject.

"What does it matter?" I don't turn around as I say this, instead I choose to focus on my breathing.

"It's just a simple question Jake. Come on you've had Mia, Michelle, Mallory, Megan... some other girls and now Melissa..."

"I chose them based off of their credentials, the fact that their names all start with-"

"The same letter as Melody's name?" I spin around to him furiously and kick my chair behind me.

"Watch your f**king mouth Trevor." I growl at him. My hands are balled up at my sides and I feel the anger begin to take over.

"I've found her you know..." I'm hit with that all too familiar pang of loss and longing and sigh.

"What are you talking about?" I feel my body begin to relax, and yet I'm still tense. I don't care how long it's been Mel- she has always been a hard topic.

"This morning I received a call from Deluxe events, they're in Toronto. I've been getting a lot of calls lately because I'm undecided with my birthday?" He looks at me as if I have a clue of what he's talking about and sighs. "Most of the time I ignore them, but for some reason I took this call. The woman talking to me spoke about someone I knew wanting to speak up. And then I heard her voice..." My breathing hitches and I close my eyes trying to regain my composure.

"She sounded just like I remembered. Her voice was softer though, almost... shy." He looks away lost in his thoughts and I hear the voices coming back with a vengence.

I lost her.

Why did she leave me?

She was my everything.

I feel so empty...

I straighten my back and look him dead on. "Are you sure it was her?" He looks over to me and smiles.

"I asked her a question only she would know the answer to." I want to smile back but I can't. Melody... I miss her so much and yet I hate her with a burning fury. She left me after all of the shit I went through to make sure we stayed together. One minute I am making love to her like it's my last day on Earth and the next I am informed she boarded her plane home without a goodbye. It bothers me to think about that day. I tried to move past it. I tried to move on but... she's hard to forget.

"That's not all..." I look over to him and he stands up cautiously. "I'm going to see her tomorrow." In a second I have him pressed up against the wall.

"What did you just say?" Trevor doesn't look the least bit fazed by my aggression. There is no way in hell he was going to see her before I could. I had the f**king right to be able to see her again after all these years.

"You heard me, I'm going to go and see her. I want to know the truth for myself. And you and I both know you can't come with me." I push against him harder and almost strangle his neck.

"Why the f**k not!" I scream in his face. He pushes against me probably trying to breathe and I pull back. He fixes his suit and glares at me.

"Because she left us Jake! And most likely you were the reason! I told her I was coming to see her and I can't just have you show up with me. She would probably run off. We- no I've waited 3 long ass years to see her again and I will not let you ruin it." He stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans against the wall hanging his head. Again I feel the anger rising. I haven't lost my temper this quickly in years.

"You waited 3 long years? Do you know who you're f**king talking to? Melody was my girlfriend! She was my f**king life! And she left me without a damn word!" I take the stapler sitting on my desk and throw it against a wall. I can hear the blood rushing in my ears but I can't stop. I begin to throw and hit anything I can reach. I let out as much of the pent up anger I've kept at bay all these years. All the while Trevor stands there without a damn care. Before I can damage my new office chair Trevor steps in and takes ahold of my shoulders.

"Listen, I understand that you are hurting and you have every reason to be. Just let me go to her and find out what happened, that way I can come back and tell you, so you both can make things right again." I shrug out of his hold and rest my hands on my desk. He's going to see the love of my life without me is all that kept replaying in my mind. I barely heard him telling me he had to go pack. I barely heard the door close shut. All I could hear was that infernal voice chanting:

He's going to see the love of my life without me.

***

The rest of the day I was annoyed.

Everything irritated me. I skipped lunch because I couldn't bare the thought of eating alone again. Then I started thinking about Trevor and Melody sharing lunch together and I almost punched a hole in my wall. An hour later I nearly fired my secretary because she was still on her break 5 minutes longer than scheduled. I received three calls from an old fling asking to meet up for a nightcap and I not so politely told her to shove it. My father thought his opinion was needed for a very important conference call I was having and almost made me lose the deal because I lost my temper. Beth called me twice to yell at me for ignoring her and I blasted her too. Everything about today was just horrid and it's all because of Trevor. I contemplated on whether or not I would have preferred if told me the truth. I have come to the conclusion... I wish he never told me.

It had taken a long time for me to be able to push her to the back of my mind. The heartache was too fresh to ignore. My body still tingled when I thought of her and I could taste her on my lips. Her scent was branded into my clothes and I still had her picture in my phone. Getting over the loss of love was excrutiating. I'm not a man to cry, but I did. More than once I hate to admit. The only time I can recall crying always pertained to her. She was almost the death of me. But... but I was able to move on. After the long nights of constant nightmares and gruesome days of absolute pining, I shoved her and that summer away to the depths of my mind. It was rare that I would ever think of her afterwards. I mean I did keep tabs on her... I had too. If she had moved on to a different city, or country... I needed to make sure she was still close enough that I could go to her if need be, but far enough that I wouldn't be able to see her.

I will confess that I did slip up last year when I knew she was graduating. I had to lock myself in my room the majority of the month so I wouldn't be tempted to fly over to her and sweep her into my arms. I don't know why I did it. I fought against the angel and demon on my shoulders on whether it was the right thing to go or not. The angel won. She may never know this, but I am extremely proud of her. Her schooling has always meant so much to her and she always seemed like a such a dedicated person. I knew she would graduate... and with very good grades at that. The day after her graduation I looked up her grades and her monetary status after all of the government loans. I searched to see if she had found her own apartment and if it was near her work. Once I was satisfied with the information I gathered, I may have checked her Facebook a few times to get a glimpse of her statuses of the day before... Maybe I spent an hour staring at her beautiful smile as she held her diploma high for the camera and Tara wraps her arm around her. It could be possible that I then spent the next 5 hours going through her Facebook photos reminiscing... And then I couldn't take it. The computer was right in front of me anyways. I just did it. I sent her a message... Or at least I composed a message to her but never actually sent it. It wasn't long or sappy, it was simple and short. When I had completed the message I read it twice before smiling and moving the cursor over to the "send" button. But of course I panicked and deleted the message. She would be furious if I sent her an email after all these years. And besides I would want to see her reaction when we met again... Which we will.

After the slip up I pushed her back again and ended up getting drunk with a few other women. I know we didn't have sex but that doesn't mean I wasn't pleasured either. Regardless I figured I could go another 3 years without having to think of her again. Obviously I was wrong. I sigh and leave my office, I've done more than enough damage for the day. Melissa is gone and I run my fingertips over her nameplate. Why do I only hire women whose names start with the letter M? Does it give me comfort to scream out their name in anger as I did to her? Is it because the letter M rolls of my tongue like honey. What is wrong with me? I run a hand through my hair and take the elevator to the parking garage. Seeing my Aston Martin waiting for me in my usual spot I cringe. Would Melody have liked this car? Would she think it was too flashy? I hate thinking about her because it gives me both pleasure and pain. Unlocking the doors I sigh again and head home.

Pulling up to the valet I toss him my keys and head up to my penthouse. Melody would have liked this place and would have loved the view I think to myself as my butler presses the elevator button for me. I have a personal elevator for my own reasons and prefer not to touch the buttons for any floor. Why get my hands dirty? The doors open and I am greeted with a very angry looking Beth. I sigh again. Here we go.

"JACOB! YOU ASSHOLE! WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING MY CALLS? WHY HAVEN'T YOU RESPONDED TO MY WEDDING INVITE? WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" I give her a quick kiss to the cheek and open the door to my loft. She storms in behind me still yelling.

"You better be listening to me Jake! This is my wedding! It's going to be the biggest wedding of the season and I need my friends." She stopped yelling and her eyes began to water. "This is both exciting and scary at the same time... with Erica gone and my sisters trying their best... I just...I need you. You're always so stable and fun and great and-" She begins to cry and I drop my coat to bring her into my arms.

"I apologize for not being there Beth. I don't have any excuse except I couldn't bare to help. It hurt to much. And I know it's selfish on my part, but it's the truth." She looks up to me and wipes her tears. "No one would have guessed this would be our future. With you getting married, Trevor secretly dating a mysterious girl he thinks I don't know about and me..." I gently push her away and collapse onto my couch. "I'm jealous Beth. This was supposed to be me." I tell her hanging my head in my hands.

"What's happened Jake? Usually we just ignore the elephant in the room or skirt around the issue." She sits beside me and rubs my shoulder.

"Trevor is going to see Melody tomorrow." She gasps. "Without me." I finish the sentence and pull on my hair.

"Has he been in contact with her for long?" I shake my head no and she squeezes my arm. "You know... I really wanted to invite her to my wedding. Maybe she can be your plus one?" I look up and roll my eyes.

"She left me Beth I doubt she's going to accept my invitation as a date after so long." Beth smiles a little.

"Ok but do you think if I invited her alone that she would come?" I huff in annoyance.

"I don't know... maybe. She likes you. Well I think she does." Beth gets up from the couch and types away at her phone.

"You still miss her?" She and I both know the answer so I don't respond. "Then why?" I look up and frown.

"Why what?" She places her hands on her hips.

"You know what Jake. Why didn't you chase after her? Why didn't you make her come back?" She pouts as she says this and I roll my eyes.

"Because she didn't want me to. It was obvious." Beth just stares at me.

"Could she have found out?"

"No. It isn't possible... is it?" I stand up and head to my kitchen for a drink.

"I don't know but what other reason could there be? Unless she was playing you the entire time... which I doubt." I pour myself some Jack Daniel's and gulp it down.

"It doesn't matter. She left. I didn't chase her. We're over. It's time to move past this. Invite her to your wedding if you want. I don't care. We will most likely see her at Trevor's birthday next month." Beth walks over to place a hand on my shoulder again and I go stiff.

"It isn't healthy to hold in your feelings Jake. I know that's what you've been doing. It's ok to cry once in a while. It's ok to hurt. It's ok to miss her everyday. She was the love of your life, and she was your first love. You nev-"

"Yeah I know you never forget your first love." I reply. She sighs and lets go. "I have to get going Caine doesn't want me out too late." She walks towards the door and opens it. "You've become one of my closest friends Jake... I just want you to be happy. Forget about me. Forget about Trevor. Forget about everyone. Just do what makes you happy." She closes the door and I'm left alone.

I ponder what Beth said as I take a shower. The bathroom is large enough to hold 5 people at once and the his and her sinks constantly remind me of just how lonely I am. Walking out of the shower I towel off and head to my room still nude. Melody always loved it when I walked around naked. She loved to examine every inch of my body as I would hers. This day has been too long and I have no strength to lock away the nagging voices and haunting memories. Tonight I will dream freely. Tonight I will dream of Melody.

***

The phone rings and I groan, I was actually having a good dream. Melody and I were cuddled up on our couch watching movies and eating popcorn. We kissed a few times and ended the night with some thorough love-making. It was simple. Perfect. It was the life I wanted more than anything. It is the life I may never have. I sit up and reach for my phone.

Two missed calls: Trevor Daniels

I grunt and throw the phone back on the table. I don't want to speak to him. Not yet anyway. I will just get frustrated all over again and ruin my day. The phone rings again and I stop myself from breaking it.

"Jacob speaking." I answer my voice still sounding slightly hoarse from sleep.

"Hey Jake... I know you're probably still mad but I just wanted to tell you I'm about to see Melody now." I don't respond. "Alright then. See you tomorrow." He hangs up and I throw my phone against the wall. The stupid thing doesn't break, thanks to the expsensive Otterbox casing I bought. I run a hand through my hair and get out of bed. As I freshen up in the bathroom I contemplate what I will do today. I could go into work, deal with some mergers and other "fun things" or I could spend the day out... but Trevor isn't here. Maybe Beth needs some company, though now that I think about it, I wouldn't be able to stand hearing all of the wedding talk. I stand back and look at myself in the mirror. To anyone else I probably look perfect, but, to those who know me they can see the signs; my eyes look duller than usual, my face paler and I'm getting dark circle under my eyes. Most would figure it's stress, the truth is it kind of is. The stress of having to know you're alone. The stress of having to take on a multi million dollar company all by yourself. The stress of having the paparzzi and desperate women follow you around like sheep. My life was stressful. But I know who can make it better.

I get dressed in some shorts and boot up my laptop. I haven't looked at her Facebook page in over a year but I can't resist the temptation. I log in and search her name immediately. Her picture pops up and I feel my heart rate quicken. She looks so beautiful. I scroll through her feed and smile at her pictures and cute statuses. I'm about to log off feeling my mood lighten at the sight of her when I stop on something that sparks a guttural growl from my throat.

Melody Peters is in a relationship with Dean Collins.

When the f**k did I miss this? I made sure no one dated her. I warded off every pathetic boy that thought he had a chance with her. Who the f**k is this? I click on his name and his profile pops up. It takes a few seconds but I connect the dots easily. He's her teacher. Or at least was her teacher. Damn it! I never figured I would have to watch out for her teachers as well. I scroll through his feed and see quite a few pictures of him and Melody together. They're walking, and laughing, and kissing. F**K! I slam the laptop closed and get off the bed. Two can play this game. I call Melissa and tell her to send me all of the work needed for the day as I will be working from home. I continue to do some research on this Dean character and save everything I find. I then book a flight to Toronto and begin to pack my belongings. I was satisfied with staying away from Melody when I knew she was single but now that there is another man that believes he can touch what's mine... I growl again.

Maybe this is what she wants.

The thought makes me freeze and the heartache comes back.

She's moved on Jake... so should you.

The aching mulitplies and I drop to my knees. The memories of that summer blaze through my mind and I feel tears build up. I should let her go... she seems happy with this man. After everything we've been through she made her decision. She left me. I should be noble and let her move on. I should let her go. The memory of Melody and I making love in my suite comes back to me and the words I whispered in her ear sing to me.

"You're my eternity. I will cherish you forever." The words are like a siren's song in my head. I told her I would cherish her forever. I meant it when I said that. I wipe the tears from my eyes and get dressed.

I intend to keep that promise.