⚠ Trigger alert!⚠

There are descriptions of suicidal thoughts, homophobic words and self harm in this chapter. Please do not personalize this or use for self diagnosis. You're beautiful the way you are and there are people that love you enough to want you to live.

Enjoy.

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L O G A N

School has been the same. I was constantly repeating the same routine of going to school, whispers, fending off bullies, ignoring haters, seeing illusions, avoiding Ayo's questioning gaze, back home, going to school again.

A basketball landed on my head and I collapsed to my knees. Yes, I am in gym class, the class where it is so easy to be bullied. Laughter resounded through the halls and Don helped me up just in time to stop Ayo from attacking the person that threw the ball. As usual, it was the jocks from the football and baseball team. With Don being the captain of the soccer team, they didn't touch me but he couldn't stop them when he wasn't around. I can fight back, I am not weak, but fighting back only confirms their thoughts about me...only eggs them on.

"Aww, he isn't saying anything. You're no fun." The jocks mocked. I glared sternly at Ayo and warned him not to say or do anything, just ignore them. He clicked his tongue and crossed his arms while his nose wrinkled in annoyance. Where was the gym teacher anyway? As I was about to take a step, somebody kicked a ball between my legs and that caused me to stumble and fall. Before I did however, Don was quick to catch me and Ayo to give a menacing glare at the one who kicked the ball.

"Ayo!" I hissed. He bit his lip and clenched his fists angrily before turning away. The clique remained quiet through this as they understood my reason for keeping calm but Ayo wasn't getting it and he was getting me angry little by little.

"Aww, he doesn't want to be protected." Laughter once again. "Hey everybody, guess what?!" One look at his menacing face told me that I was over. They would reveal my secret... Everyone paid rapt attention to the juicy news. "We discovered something disgusting about the bad news." I felt Ayo tense at the name I was addressed as and I growled at him to stop him from doing anything but he didn't listen.

"Say one more word from that mouth of yours and prepare to lose it." He threatened, going towards the jock. The bigger guy smirked and crossed his arms around his chest as if teasing Ayo about his height difference but I know what Ayo is capable of. A circle formed around them as people egged them on to fight. I was loosing it, I was losing my mind. My breathing hitched and my head rumbled. Phyllis came to my side and rubbed my back comfortingly.

"Oh dear, Ayo is really mad. Logan, are you okay?" She commented and questioned but I didn't answer.

"Can you believe that bad news actually-" His was cut off by a punch from Ayo , which made him fall back from the force. The jock wiped the blood from his busted lips and smirked after adjusting his broken nose. "You can't stand your boyfriend being called bad news, eh fag? I'm surprised your red haired ex isn't butting into this." He teased, bringing Scarlet into the matter but the devil was absent today. Ayo held him up by the collar and growled.

"Say all you want about me but anything against my friends would not be pardoned, fucker." He threatened.

"Ohh, I am so afraid." The jock mocked. "I would say what I want when I want, nerd. That disgusting creature..." He smirked, eying me. "Listen up guys... It cuts." My world collapsed  when I heard the gasps that filled the air. Looks of disgust were shot at me and everything was suffocating. Ayo glanced at me emotionlessly before facing the jock again.

"I warned you." He said before punching him hard on the face. Another, and another. Continuous punches. He was falling for it, the jock wasn't fighting back and this could get him expelled. I was angry, I was frightened, and I was an emotional roller coaster.

"AYO STOP IT!" I yelled and went towards them, grabbed him by his collar and gave him a violent punch square on his jaw. Gasps were heard as Ayo's head snapped to the side before turning again to look at me incredulously. "Just stop, dammit! I don't need your help, I don't need you!" I yelled.

"B-but I was just..." He scoffed and ran his hand through his hair. "I was only standing up for you, I didn't mean to get you this mad."

"Well you've done it. You're only egging them on! You're only confirming their thoughts about you, about me! Can't you see that?!"

"Well I'm sorry for standing up for my friend!" He yelled, getting frustrated. "You know what?! You're so selfish. First you lock yourself up in a room and push others away, then you come out and never let them stand up for you, then you start cutting yourself, then your best friend stands up for you and you're being an ass!"

"I do not need you, I do not need anybody, so just leave me alone and go back to fucking your lioness you bestiality practicing jerk!"

Everywhere went silent and my eyes widened at what I just said. Ayo's mouth hung open and tears filled his eyes. He ran his hands through his hair and laughed humorlessly. "All this time...all this time, that's what you've been thinking about me." He scoffed and walked away, pausing to say something before leaving completely. "For the record Logan, I am aromantic." He said and stormed out, brushing past the teacher on the way.

'No...'

The clique cast disappointed looks at me before running after Ayo. Don, however stayed behind and took me to the nurse after noticing my panic attack.

'No...I didn't mean it.'

"I get that you are frustrated and all but that was real low Logan." Don said to me and that was the last thing I heard before falling unconscious.

-

I woke up to the nurse poking me awake. Apparently, school was over and I was keeping her waiting. I thanked her and went outside, the school was empty since it was some time around four thirty to five in the evening. I dug my hand into my pocket and felt the razor I kept there. I can't believe I did that.

Ayo hates my guts now, he won't forgive me now. I didn't want to go back home since I am sure he would kick me out so I wandered a bit around the school and sank into the floor at an alley not too far away from it. I hugged my legs and placed my head over my knees as I cried. With my own words, I sent the only people that were willing to be my friends away. I really am worthless.

"Hey kid, this is our turf." A gruff voice sounded in front of me and I raised my head to see three men standing before me. They were homeless, if the ruffian dressing and stench of alcohol was any indication but I couldn't care less.. "Green and blue... It is that bastard's son!" The gruff voice exclaimed.

"Great. I am in a pissy mood today and I could use a good punching bag to vent my anger." Another one said but I didn't move. What's the use? They would only catch me and still beat me up. A slap to my cheek caused me to fall over and my skin grew taut at once. One of them looked to the side and saw some rods and picked them up, sharing them with the others , before smiling evil at me but all I saw was my father's image smiling evil at me.

"Logan, you've pissed me off. You know what happens when you do?" His dangerous voice held a masochistic tone to it. I crawled desperately away from him but he stepped on my foot harshly to stop me from getting away. I let out a scream as he brought his arm which held the rod up. "I break you to bits." He said before lowering the rod harshly on my legs, tearing the flesh at once.

I yelled in pain as the rods hit me without mercy. I squirmed and screamed but it only egged them on. No matter how loud I screamed, nobody came to my aid. They continued assaulting me until I felt the impact of a foot against my chest. My vision blurred out and my mouth hung open along with my widening eyes as a sharp pain overwhelmed my body. I fell limp at once.

"He isn't moving, could he be dead?" I heard one say. "Let's go!" And they left me alone to die but I didn't. I just stared at the empty space before me.

'The moon is shining in the sky, what a wonderful night...'

Mum...

With my last strength, I stood up with shaky legs and with the support of walls, I walked to the bus stop. People cast me strange looks and stayed clear of my path on my way there but I didn't mind. The bus to Humawod arrived and before I could go in, others rushed in and pushed me aside but I held onto the door and hoisted myself painfully in. The driver cast a salty look at me, angry at the fact that I managed to get in but I ignored him and paid the fare.

People placed their bags on empty seats beside them so I couldn't sit. How cruel. I got lucky enough to find an unoccupied seat and sat down on it. My hand went into my pocket again to feel the cold metal of the razor. We got to Humawod and everybody alighted the bus. I hailed a taxi, which stopped for me luckily and got into it and stated the address of my mansion.

"Kid, what did you get yourself into to be this injured?" The driver asked and I looked at him through the rear mirror. Once he saw my eyes, he shut up and drove me there as fast as he could. Once he dropped me, he sped off like there was no tomorrow. I looked at the mansion and dragged myself into it, collapsing all the way but I managed.

I was finally in. I stumbled all the way to where them memories hit me the most, which was my old room. When I got there, I was out of breath and my eyes were getting clouded. I could hear myself as I breathed and everything was fuzzy. My knees gave way once again and I collapsed unto the floor. I just want to end this.

⚠

I sat up and rolled my bloodied sleeves up. Bruises and cuts from the rods stained my arms along with scars from both self infliction and abuse. I dug my arms into my pocket and withdrew my phone and razor. "Chimera." I called on my AI. "Open message app." I commanded and dug the razor into my skin and dragged it across my arm. The crimson liquid spilled from the cut and I bit my lip to stifle my grunt. I dug it in again and dragged it across, and repeated the action on both my arms. I was getting dizzy from the loss of blood as I brought the final slits across my wrists and with that, I collapsed and hit my head on the floor.

☑

I was slipping into unconsciousness slowly. My phone's screen lit up and I could see an incoming call...from Ayo. My hearing senses were blocked out but I could see it. The phone rang and stopped. Weakly, I stretched out my hand to pick the call, blood spilling over the device but I couldn't pick it no matter how hard I tried. My vision was clouded with blood as I desperately tried to pick the call, to tell him that I am sorry, that I didn't mean what I said, but I couldn't. My eyelids got heavy and I slipped into unconsciousness.

'Ayo, I am sorry.'

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Thank you guys so much for the 500 reads! I am so happy and now aiming for 1000 reads. Love you all♥.

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