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Jaemin sighs and leaves the bakery. It was Thursday, 4 days since the anniversary of his sister and mother's deaths. 4 days since he's fallen. His dad was with him a bit more now. Eating at meals with him. Checking in every once and awhile. But Jaemin knew that once he felt better, then his dad would go back to living in his office. He would go back to working in the shadows. It's how it always went. It's how his dad coped with the pain. With the loss of his daughter and wife.

He leaves the comforting street that Moon Cakes sat on, not forgetting to lock the door behind him. It wasn't late at night, but the sky was a dark blue, the winter haze settling strongly. In fact, it was only around 7:30. Along with Jaemin, there were still some people taking evening walks or playing with their dogs. It reassured Jaemin a little bit, it was good to know he wasn't the only one outside still.

He makes his way down the sidewalk, breathing in the crisp winter air. It filled his lungs and made him shiver, he regretted not bringing a heavier jacket to wear. He had left it at home, expecting that he would be a bit hot from working in the bakery kitchen for 3 hours.

Something that Jaemin found slightly amusing about himself, was that whenever he was depressed or sad, he would go all out with his fashion. He would pick out his best and favorite outfits and wear them until he felt better. His style was a comforting, E-boy/grunge mix. Almost all black clothing, with an occasional white or gray accent. It comforted him in a way. And today was no different, he had worn probably his most favorite outfit. An oversized black, leather bomber jacket that hung loosely off his shoulders. His side strap bag instead of his classic backpack was slung across his chest. Skinny black jeans that were cuffed twice-over at the ankles. A black and white striped turtleneck that he got as a birthday present from Mark. With all that he paired his dirty, old Comme De Garcons Converses from tenth grade.

It was an outfit he enjoyed to the fullest, and he always felt quite confident wearing it, enough so that he took a mirror selfie in the bathroom of the bakery (which was another habit he got from feeling depressed).

Jaemin trudged down the streets until he reached the playground. It was empty of children and families now, the sun too far down for children to be out in public spaces. Jaemin was content with the silence though, it was calming and he enjoyed it. It helped him gather his thoughts. His headphones were plugged in, blasting 'Ice Age' by MCND. He makes his way towards the roof of the playset. The large, red, flat top just begging for Jaemin to lay on. He climbs up it with ease and sits atop the playset, smiling softly as the wind blows through his hair.

He was able to look across the city, the lights twinkling as the sky darkened, he always enjoyed dusk. When the clouds were dyed pink with the sun's rays. The sky stretching into a mesh of pinks, purples, blues, oranges, and golds. It calmed him down in a melancholy sort of way. Him and his sister used to sit atop their roof at their old house and watch the stars come out every summer night. Their mother would call them in for bed, and they'd fall asleep with the soft sunset image dancing behind their eyelids.

Jaemin really missed his sister. She was his other half, his best friend for life. They were twins, her being older by only 2 minutes. They were quite similar as far as fraternal twins go. They grew up with the same passion for cooking and dancing (when they were 6, they agreed Jaemin would be a dancer and she would be a baker). They were the same height as well, except for 7th grade where Jaemin was 4 centimeters taller than his sister. They even dyed their hair the same color at the same time. They both had blonde hair, a soft brown, pink, and then the honey color that Jaemin still had. He never re-dyed it after her death. Almost to honor her in a way.

His sister's name was Hayoon. She had big doe eyes that sparkled whenever she saw something she loved. She was probably the most optimistic person Jaemin had ever met, her outlook on life was always bright and full of joy. She was so amazingly positive that Jaemin had no idea how it was even possible. Hayoon was outgoing and popular, always surrounded by friends. Jaemin on the other hand, was the quieter, more reserved twin. He was more logical than his sister, occasionally having to stop her from doing something stupid. He wasn't as popular as his sister back in their old neighborhood, but once they moved here, people began to notice him. Jaemin wouldn't say he was pessimistic, but he was certainly more down to earth than Hayoon ever was.

Jaemin takes his headphones out when he sees a boy standing at the bottom of the playset. He raises a brow, and hoping to god that the darkness was able to cover his blush.

"Jeno?"

"Hey..."

The two boys pause, neither really sure what to do. Eventually Jeno just climbs up and with a bit of help from the younger, was able to sit down next to Jaemin.

"You've been crying."

"Oh..." Jaemin touches his cheek. "Yeah. I have."

Jeno tilts his head. "Why?"

"Oh..." Jaemin sighs and looks at his lap, hands clasped together between his criss-cross legs. Jeno lets the boy gather himself, taking the time to look at his crush carefully. His eyes were certainly duller, and puffy from crying. His hair was slightly disheveled, sticking up in random places. His fashion certainly took an upgrade though. And Jeno had to admit that Jaemin looked pretty fucking hot. He could now see why so many girls were swooning over E-boy fashion, Jaemin rocked it.

"I was crying 'cause...."

"Because?"

Jaemin sighs. Should he really be telling Jeno? After all that's happened between them? Of course, Jaemin trusted Jeno a lot. But he wasn't really sure what the older was to him at the moment. He didn't know what his feelings for Jeno were, and this would probably just complicate things more.

"Remember when I told you, when we first met, that my mom was dead?"

Jeno thinks a moment, trying to recall the memory. It seemed so long ago now, even though it had only been about 3 or 4 months. "Yeah, I think so."

"Sunday was the anniversary of her and my sister's death."

"You have a sister?"

"Had a sister. But yeah, she was my twin." He sighs, smiling at the thought of his sister. "Na Hayoon. She was my best friend. Unfortunately, she and my mom died 3 years ago, 2017. The winter of freshman year." He shakes slightly. He felt so bad, so horribly bad. He had always blamed himself for their deaths, never understanding why he had to survive. Hayoon was the one everybody liked. She was the sweet little rose in a garden of thorns. She was the star of the show and Jaemin was her understudy, only coming out when extremely necessary.

He doesn't push Jeno away when the older boy brings him into his lap and hugs him close. "Me, her, and my mom were on a car ride back home from dance class one day. It was normal for mom to pick us up from dance on the weekends and we were just chilling in the backseat, talking about our day. It was like any other Sunday honestly. Nothing was out of the ordinary, good or bad." He clutches Jeno's shirt tightly and hides his tear streaked face in the crook of his neck. Jeno just holds him tighter, rocking gently to calm the boy down.

"But, while we were driving over a bridge, a drunk driver was speeding behind us. I remember hearing the sound of glass breaking. The skidding of tires. The next thing I knew, I was under the water. It was freezing Jeno, so horribly cold." He begins to tremble, the memory taking over his mind. "I remember my chest hurting, and the water tainted red with someone's blood. But now I'm pretty sure it was mine. I blacked out and awoke in a hospital bed, with my dad beside me. He was talking to the doctors." He pauses and lets his tears fall down before continuing. "I was the only survivor. My mom and sister both died on impact, they were already gone by the time the ambulance got there. How on earth I survived, I'll never know." He stops talking, the memory soon folding into reality. The screams of him and his sister. The honking of cars. The splashing of water and the feeling of icy cold water surrounding his body. He can still feel the huge piece of window glass in his chest, making him scream in agony only to be drowned out by the rushing water. He remembers holding his sister's hand as they fell, only for the soft touch to slip away seconds later as his body resurfaced while hers didn't.

The shadows had closed in, his sight blinded by the images of that day. He was still only 14. It was only 3 years ago. He couldn't even get through freshman year before losing his sister. He didn't even realize what was happening until he heard the soft voice of Jeno break through the dark.

"Shhhh...Jaemin, you're ok...you'll be ok...shhhh..." The feeling of someone rocking him softly, and a hand stroking his hair brings Jaemin back to reality, only making him cry harder. His silent sobs wracking and shaking his thin frame. "You'll be ok Jaemin-ah, you're safe. You will be ok."

Jaemin lifts his head from Jeno's neck, making the boy stop running his hands through his hair. Jaemin just stared at the boy, hoping his eyes could send a message that his voice couldn't produce. Jeno just smiled softly, showing the boy that he was there for him. He'll stick with Jaemin. He gently scans over Jaemin's face, remembering something Mark had said a while back.

"I do want him to find someone, though. He takes such good care of me, Chenle, his dance friends and even his dad, that he never has time for himself. He works his ass off all day. He really deserves someone who will care for him."

Jaemin, Jeno had suddenly come to realize, was that kind of person who looked ethereal while crying. His eyes would sparkle from the tears, his eyelashes clumping together, making them look fuller and longer. His dilated pupils let his dark iris' take over his eye. The slight puffiness only added to his beauty.

Jeno puts two fingers under Jaemin's chin, lifting the boy to face him fully. His eyes trailed down to Jaemin's lip, the soft pink color making them look just that much more inviting.

This time, Jeno knew exactly what he was doing when he pressed his lips to Jaemin's. He knew what he was feeling, and he knew he wanted to keep doing it. He was telling Jaemin that he wasn't alone. He had Jeno with him. He was reassuring the boy, showing him that he would be ok. Everything will get better.

They pull away, Jaemin's eyes glaze over and while Jeno is still looking at the younger's lips. He kisses him again. And again. And again. And again. He wanted to show Jaemin how much he cared. There was no tongue, no lust. Just soft little pecks. But it wasn't two-sided either. Jaemin wanted to keep kissing Jeno. Heck, he needed to. He needed something to hold onto, and with Jeno's arms wrapped around his waist, Jaemin knew he wasn't going to fall. He would be ok. He could get through it, for he always did. And when the next anniversary rolls around. When the next December 18th rolls around...Maybe Jaemin would be a bit stronger. Be a bit more steady on his feet.

But for now, he just needed someone to hold him. To care for him. To baby him and reassure him that it would be alright. Thankfully Jeno was here to do just that.

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∆Oop- this is my longest chapter by far, and I hope you all like. I am actually quite proud of it but poor Nana :( also a few other things.

1: If you recognize that mirror selfie from another Nomin fanfic, please know that I have seen it too. I don't want to "steal" it or anything, it just fit best with what I was going for in this chapter.

2: this isn't as important but like, if you've read my 'Mark Me' then you'd know that Jaemin sits at playsets a lot. Idk why I like him and playsets so much, but it just works lmao. Parks and playsets always have a good setting to them, and you can really make anything come from it.

Anyways, thanks for reading guys and hope you all have a good day :) I'll see you soon∆