Hi. My name is Atalanta Penelope Grimson. I'm 15 years young, I have a ten year old sister named Phoebe, a cruel fashion designer for a mother named Tanya, and a very loving boyfriend named Anthony Spencer Michaels. I have straight A's in every class, I'm in all of the extracurricular activities, and I'm the best artist/singer in my school, which is Jerry B. Mitchell High in Anaheim, California. My house is a three story redbrick mansion with an acre of surrounding land, only a three mile walk from Disneyland, and I've gone to that theme park every year since I was two. I was at school on October 27th when the shit hit the fan.

"Hey, Lanta, what's up!?" My best friend came up and shouted.

"Hey, Artemis, what's up?" I laughed back as we did our hand shake. We were chatting on the walk to the gym when two strong arms snaked around my waist and laced their fingers together in front it my hooha.

"Good morning, beautiful." A male voice whispered into my ear. I snapped around and socked him in the mouth before I realized it was my boyfriend, Anthony. I laughed as the tall boy rubbed his jaw and stared at me.

"You've been getting much better at self defence, huh?" I giggled lightly and nodded.

"Learned from the best." I fistbumped my friend. "Thanks, Artie."

Anthony looked offended. I laughed and booped his nose, then headed off to class arm in arm with Artemis.

================

The weirdest thing about class wasn't even the fact that there was a giant pig standing where my mythology teacher should be. It was the fact that the pig was six feet tall, had 2 1/2 foot long tusks, bristles that could tear through trees, and only me, Artemis, and Anthony were seeing it.

We sat and stared at the monster. My friends were having a silent conversation, as if they knew what was going on, while I sat and questioned my existence.

What REALLY freaked me out is that the pig could talk.

"Good morning, students. Today, we'll be talking about Atalanta and the Calydonian Boar Hunt." The pig's eyes flickered with rage as it glanced at me, his anger infectious as I started to feel a little frustrated at Anthony and Artie for not telling me what was going on.

"Can anyone tell me how Atalanta was brought up?" The pig snorted.

I timidly raised my hand, afraid of this large, terrifying, demonic pig. The creature turned and glared at me, it's furious gaze piercing me to the deepest depths of my soul.

"What was your name again, young lady?" The boar (I'd decided by his voice that he was a dude.) asked me. I quietly whispered, "M-My name is A-Atalanta, s-sir..."

The dirty look I received (Can boars give dirty looks?) was enough to make me shrink back in my seat.

"Atalanta, huh? What do you know about your namesake?" He questioned me judgementally. I sprang up happily, as spouting random mythological nonsense was my favorite pass time.

"Well, for one, she was born to the king and queen of Arcadia, who really wanted a boy. So instead of just raising her as a boy, the king decided to leave baby Atalanta on a high mountain top to starve."

"Stay classy, Arcadian King." Anthony added. I smiled at him, glad he'd been through all my rants about mythology enough times to be able to contribute.

"She would be dead fifteen times over if it weren't for the timely arrival of a mother bear, which is one of the symbols of Artemis, badass goddess of virginity and hunting. The bear found baby Atalanta, mistook her for one of her own cubs, and thus took her in and raised her as her own. Alas, all good things must come to an end, and few years later, a troop of hunters finds her and 'rescues' her, takes her to the city, teaching her about all the great things civilization has to offer, like languages, clothes-"

"Sharp objects." One of my other friends, Kallisa, interjected. I nodded, laughing.

"So Atalanta grows up into an all around badass and an expert huntress. Somewhere along the road, she beats King Peleus in a wrestling match, aka, Achilles' dad, and casually shoots a couple centaurs who wanted to do unsavory things in her general direction, and even sailed with Jason on the Argo. Meanwhile, in the kingdom of Calydon, the king forgot to sacrifice to the goddess Artemis during the yearly harvest festival, and the goddess was pissed. So she sent a huge, murderous, rampaging boar to destroy the city. Then the king's son, the handsome Calydonian prince named Meleager, opts to launch a huge hunt to bring the boar down, because what better way to pay homage to the dishonored goddess of hunting than to hunt down the huge animal she sent to kill you for dishonoring her?"

Nervous laughter from my classmates.
The boar in front of the class seemed to be very amused by my story telling. He cocked his head in curiosity at me, a gesture I took as beckoning me to continue.

"So the hunt was announced," I continued, "And the Calydonian royals called for all the bravest hunters in the land, and along with the standard Greek sausage fest we've come to expect from such a casting call, who should arrive but Atalanta? So the king goes 'Oh. Hey there, Miss. My daughters are out back playing in the garden if you wanna do something a little more your speed.' But Atalanta goes 'Oh, I'm sorry, I was told there was murdering to be done, not arts and crafts!' And all the dude hunters, if Anthony would care to assist, go..." I gestured to my boyfriend grandly.

"Nuh uh! I'm not going on a boar hunt with any girl!" He said dramatically, making hand gestures and everything.

"And then Meleager defends her, saying that they're all afraid she'll outclass them. Yada yada Yoda, they finally agree to go on the hunt, and after a lot of cartoonish Misadventures, involving a lot of the hunter getting killed, Atalanta gets a solid hit in the back, and Meleager lands a hit in the chest. So all the other hunters are slapping Meleager on the back and congratulating him on killing the boar, but he says that Atalanta got the killing hit, so she should get the prize. Meleager's uncles, who had been hunting with them and are the biggest dicks of all, try to bully Atalanta into giving them the prize so that they could take all the credit, Meleager tells them off, the whole thing escalates into a legit sword fight, and the uncles somehow end up dead. And that's the tale of Atalanta and the Calydonian boar hunt. She has more stories, but I don't wanna teach the entire lesson." So I sat back down and listened to the polite applause, watching the boar throw back his head in what seemed like laughter.

"Ahh. I haven't heard a good retelling of that story for three hundred years."
He announced. I looked at him in confusion, but Anthony and Artie look very much unsurprised but also defensive. Anthony had his hand on the pocket knife I'd given him for his birthday two months ago. I had noticed that the blade had turned to bronze, but I didn't question it. My boyfriend was always changing the metal of different things.

"Ah, sir, may I ask what you mean by that?" I asked, rather confused. The boar looked at me with humor in his eyes.

"I am that boar, my dear. I was merely following the orders of my mistress when your namesake, the huntress, slayed me. A few centuries later, when I was reincarnated and found out about the time that had passed, I decided to destroy all the followers of Artemis before I died again..." I stared blankly at him, casually having an existential crisis.

"I knew it... you need to leave, Kápros apóvrasma. Right. Now." Was Anthony's response. I glanced at him, asking him what was happening using only my eyes. He motioned for me to leave with his head, but I had to figure out what was going on.

Anthony took my knife and, before my eyes, it morphed into a long bronze sword. And as I watched, he leaped at the boar.

'Welp,' I thought, I'm gonna be dead before lunch period.'