Dear Diary.

She loves Westlife, her favourite colour is sky blue, she is scared of spiders and rats, she wants to go to London one day, she wants to study nursing after high school, she is down to earth, she wears glasses but she is far from being a nerd, she cares about world peace and politics...

It's safe to say in the past month of talking to Zaneh, I have learnt alot about her. Alot more than I would ever learn if I ever spoke to her in person.

I finally told myself I would talk to her but when I did, shit just rolled out of my mouth. 'Get out of my fucking way and don't ever talk to me again you creep'. I always seem to say the opposite of what I actually want to say. The way her hazel brown orbs flutter with watery substance beneath those long lashes whenever she is hurt breaks my heart.

I never thought I would say this but now I'm really okay with the divorce. 'People fall out of love all the time.' Zaneh had said to me once on our twitter conversations. "When something doesn't feel right anymore, you can't force it.'

I wonder if she would ever say these things to my face. I see the way she looks at me with the corner of her eye when I'm in my history class. History class is the only lesson I can be myself because Liam, Niall, Louis and Zayn are not in that class but I can't, even when I'm alone I constantly treat her like shit.

Zayn started dating the Texas girl, Vicky Hayden. I don't like her not because she writes crap about Zaneh but she is just a trashy bitch in general.

I'm learning more and more about her every single day. I deleted the Edward account but after a few hours, in a glimmer of weakness I logged into the same account again.

I think it would never be the same if I didn't talk to her everyday...

H.