Dear Diary.

I haven't written in a while. I read my first entry and laughed hysterically, what was i thinking... I would never write something so fucked up unless I was mad about something. I have been busy lately with my soccer matches and all. I'm over the divorce and everything that makes me feel like shit.

I hardly spend time at home, I'm always at Zayn's house which reminds me of his creeping sister. She isn't all so bad...wait did I say that shit I would never say that out loud though. I have never had a proper conversation with her, that's because I'm always a fucking prick.

The way she looks at me with those beautiful hazel eyes fuck fuck no ! Wtf is wrong with me. She is my Best friend's sister. Zayn says she is a weirdo and I shouldn't mind her, she locks herself in her room everytime I'm around. Zayn says not only when I'm around but all the freaking time. She is a mystery, an interesting mystery...

Her name is Zaneh.

I didn't know her name until the other day. That's because Zayn and the guys always refer to her as Zayn's crappy sister or Zayn's lil Sis. She is so innocent and her vulnerability is always upfront. She is so quiet, I'm starting to think she doesn't even breathe. My girlfriend Sofia told me that she is socially awkward and needs to get arrested by the fashion police ; ofcause I didn't mind her. She says stupid stuff all the time or maybe this time she was right.

Well today in the cafeteria Niall said she was kind of hot but Zayn immediately glared at him then he ended up coughing up that she was a fuck up unfortunately the whole cafeteria heard that shit and honestly I felt sorry for her.

Liam immediately added something along the lines...'Did you time travel from the seventies or something because that is a really nice outfit granny'

Ofcause I had to laugh because it was funny and everyone was laughing except her. She is such a loser, i wouldn't want to be her. Why am I even writing about her ? I don't know i guess thinking about her, watching her from a distance makes me forget about how fucked up my very own life is.

Which reminds me... my dad is getting married to his Russian gum tree. She is fucking tall and skinny, it makes me cringe. The only time I talk to her is when she asks where my father is and my response is always 'How the fuck should I know, do I look like I speak Russian.'

My father often warned me about being rude, that night I slept in my car. I couldn't stand them playing happy family in there. I hope my father happens to read this and knows that I'm not fucking happy even though I always put up a Facade that I'm the happiest champ.

I'm popular, I have the perfect girlfriend, Sofia (she gives the best head), the best friends, the cars, the money. I feel like i'm not myself and no one really knows me.

Everyone knows Harry the Arsehole who always wears black, Captain of the soccer team, always around Zayn the guy who always wears a leather jacket, the arsehole that can get any girl he wants, the arsehole from a wealthy family, the arsehole who never has to work for anything in his life.

No one knows about the Harry that likes singing, the Harry that likes art and nature, the Harry that lives in a broken home, the Harry that secretly watches his bestfriends sister...

If anyone ever reads this, I'm done.

PS. I think Zayn's sister has a crush on me but never mind.

H.