cut it out

all of it
thoughts

memories
words
tears

him
them
me
cut me out

out out out
a pool of blood,
worth drowning in
pooling on my arms
in the wounds

running down like a river
tears streaming down, mixing with blood
i like to watch it
how it runs down
burning
but its good

i deserve it
i deserve the pain
i deserve the blood
i deserve the pain
i deserve to be hurt
i deserve to cry until it hurts and i cant breathe
i dont deserve to live.

i caused pain
i caused people to cry
i hurt people
im always the fool
crying for help
but no one takes it serious
they think im joking
but im not

no one listens
no one bothers
they dont take me serious
i talk and cry and scream and cut
until im all empty
they see it
they hear me
but nothing really happens
they move on

please just let me die
i was so young
how could they hurt a little kid
someone who loves you wouldnt do this
or would they
i dont know
all i know is that im empty
hurt
out of words and laughs and tears
when will it end?