ENTRY #1:

Hey! It's my first time writing to you, Mr. Diary. You might wonder why. It just came to me when I saw that hawt guy in the cafeteria. Do you know "Love at first sight"?? Corny right? But that's what I felt back then.

I've spent the whole day talking to my BFF, In Jung, about him, but it's just not enough, so I came up with a diary. ^_^

*squeals*

Kyaaa~! I remember him again. We often stayed at the cafeteria --and I mean always-- to kill time, and then he came. That's the first time I saw him, but I'll surely remember that face.

His white skin, straight black hair, not-so-thick eyebrows, tantalizing eyes, kissable lips, and white perfectly aligned teeth that flash every time he smiles are just the few things that tempt me to like him.

My staring at him the whole time wasn't enough to memorize all his perfectly handsome, non-human-like features. You know, I wonder if he's human. Maybe he's a vampire? Like Edward Cullen? Coz his perfect, handsome face is just not normal. It's beyond normal!

Sigh. But will he be there again? Sigh. I hope I'll see him again.

P.S.

OMG!!! He caught me looking at him! Otteoke(What should I do)?? Hmm..I wonder if he noticed me, too.

ENTRY #2:

T^T

He's not here. They're not here.

Yesterday, he and his friends were sitting two tables away from us. But now it's empty, so I don't mind putting a powder on, nor fixing my hair. He's not here. What's the point?

Will I ever see him again?

P.S.

No P.S. for today. I'm not in the mood. T^T

ENTRY #3:

Omo! Omo! Omo! I saw him! Kyaaa~!

And..and..He looked at me! Well, I think he looked at me.

As he passed by us when he went to the counter to get food, I saw him glance in my direction for a brief--really brief--moment.

But still, the fact that he glanced at me is just so..kyaaaa~!

I'm so excited for tomorrow. <3_<3

P.S.

But..was it really me he glanced at? Or my friend? >.<

Entry #10:

It's been 1 week and 3 days since he entered that cafeteria door and caught my attention. But I'm afraid it's not just my attention he caught this time. He and his friends often sit at their usual table. And my heart keeps beating rather automatically every time I see him.

I just wish I had enough courage to approach him. But my knees just feel weak, and my mouth dries up just by the thought of walking to his table.

But then, I notice him glance at our table occasionally. But I'm not sure who he's looking at. I really don't have much self-confidence when it comes to boys because In Jung attracts more boys than me. I'm pretty, but she's more appealing.

Oh no.....

Is he attracted to her?? No, no, no. I hope he's not, or else my heart will really break--literally-- into little pieces that would be hard to fix.

P.S.

I hope it's me he likes.

ENTRY #17

Oh...my..Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As in O..M..G!! Kyaaa~!

You're curious as to why I'm like this, aren't you?? Nah. Not telling you. Alright. Alright. All you've got to do is ask, and I'll let you know. But of course, you can't ask coz you're a diary. Hahaha. Fine. Fine. I'll just pretend you asked.

Well.......................................

They talked to us!! They really speak to us!! Can you believe that?? Like, can you really believe that??? They spoke to us!!

Ehem.

They asked if they could share a table with us since all the others were occupied. ^_^. He sat on a chair 2 seats apart from me. ^_^ I'm glad the table's round that I could goggle at him anytime.

But thinking about it, he never looked at me, except for the times when I was talking,

P.S.

I hope the tables are full again next week. ^_^

Ooooh! I think In Jung likes Hankyung, Kibum's friend, because her eyes beam up every time she stares at him.

Kim Kibum, I'll totally remember that name.

ENTRY #24:

Hey there. Well. Yeah. We've been close. Kibum, his friends, me, and Injung became close already.

We were already sitting at our usual table, laughing at certain jokes and discussing random stuff.

Speaking of!! I.AM.SUCH.A.TOTAL.FAIL.

Why?

We were all silent when his friend suddenly told a random joke. I totally laughed my butt out after hearing it but stopped when I realized all eyes were on me, and I was the only one laughing.

As I cleared my throat to hide my embarrassment, I heard Kibum snigger. He was trying his best not to laugh out loud.

I bet he thinks I'm stupid and weird. Laughing over a nonsense joke. But what could I do? It's funny. Well, it is hilarious..for me.

P.S.

I hope I would stop making a fool of myself in front of him. >.<

ENTRY #30:

Siiigh.

As days passed, an unbearable thought kept on building in my head. Though I try to shove it away, it always comes back whenever I see them together.

I guess...It's not me he likes, after all. And the worst? I think..he likes In Jung.

And adding up to that is her nonstop talk about all the things she knew about Kibum. They're already so close, aren't they? Sharing information about themselves. She was blabbering a lot of things. Every now and then, I would just nod and smile, pretending to listen. I would sometimes say, "Really?" to look interested. Well, I am curious coz it's about him. But... how I wish I was the one telling her that thing. How I want to be the one he'd told such things. How I wish I was the one he got close to. But sadly, it isn't me. It's you, In Jung.

P.S.

Awful right? T.T

ENTRY #34:

Hey..

Sorry. Not in the mood.

You see... Kibum and In Jung just became closer. I'm not mad at In Jung--I'm honestly trying not to--but I can't help it. You can't blame me.

She knows I like Kibum. As a friend, she should've created a distance between them. It's not like she likes him too, right?

No! No! I trust her. But I hope she gives me enough reason to continue trusting her.

But it's not like she's the one trying to get close to him. Yeah. Kibum's the one who keeps on bugging her. Looking at them having fun while my heart breaks is just unbearable.

I'm glad they automatically come back to their senses and stop laughing, giggling, and talking at each other when they notice me looking at them. That's such a great help for not totally breaking my heart. Thanks a lot.

No P.S.!!

ENTRY #36:

I can't believe I just saw that. I don't want to believe it.

Could she be betraying me behind my back? That's not possible. SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND!

But..but..why do they have to talk on the stairs where no one will see them? Where no one will hear what they're talking about? And I swear the color on his face drained when he saw me.

P.S.

What the heck are they talking about? Are they having a secret relationship? And why is his hand around In Jung's??

ENTRY #37:

I tried to act normally after seeing them together in a deserted corridor, when in reality, my heart was breaking, and every pore in my body shed tears. Trying to act normal isn't as easy as I thought.

Rather than saying something I'd regret, I decided to just ignore them.

As unusual as it could be, Kibum stared at me the whole time, affecting me less. That kind of stare is not what I always wanted from him.

I know he's staring because I caught both of them, and he's afraid I might tell the others. Don't worry, I won't spill your secret. Tsk! Not when I know someone would be hurt. Hankyung likes In Jung, too. And I'm not telling him what I saw. I don't want to hurt another person.

P.S.

I hope they'd stand up for it if they really have a secret relationship. Not like this, where they're being quiet, it feels like they're betraying us.

ENTRY #50:

It's been more than a week since Kibum and I were on silent treatment.

Regarding In Jung, she acts like nothing happened. At first, I was acting coldly, but she was so persistent that I gave up being hard on her. And now we're back to normal.

Going back to Kibum, we didn't usually talk even before the silent treatment occurred, and now, we act like strangers--Well, okay. It's just me.

Kibum tried talking to me. You know, like, "Hey? How have you been?" but I'd just shrug it off. There are times when I was on my phone when he suddenly snatched my phone from my hand and said, "Wooh. Who's that you're texting? You're boyfriend?" while reading it. He can't read any message there coz I wasn't texting. I was playing!! I took my phone back and gave him a piercing look.

P.S.

I hate you, Kim Kibum. There's no way I'm talking to you. And for God's sake! Let me live in peace! I'm trying to move on here!

ENTRY #55:

Kibum might have felt like he was just wasting his time on me since there was no way I was talking to him.

I know my actions are giving me in on how jealous I am, but I don't care.

And it's not like he cares. After giving up easily on me, he has returned to bugging In Jung again.

Wow. They're back together. I'm so happy for them.

By the way, I'm sorry, Mr. Diary, but I don't think I'll be writing again. It's just no use. At first, I thought it would be like in the stories I read, where the lead girl will have a happy ending with his leading man. But I'm wrong. I'm not the lead girl, after all. This may not be my story.

Along with me not writing anymore, there's one more thing I've decided to really do. I'm going to move on and forget Kibum. Maybe he's not the one for me. Perhaps he's just one of those who passed by and left. But still, thanks for passing by Kim Kibum. I have to let go of you now.

P.S.

Thank you for listening to me all this time, Mr. Diary. It really means a lot.

P.S. 2:

Oh! Before I forget. In Jung asked me what I thought of Kibum while we walked through the corridors. What did she ask me that for? Was she asking for my approval for both of them? So all I said was, "He's just like the other guys I knew. Nothing special." she seemed shocked by what I said, and then she said, "I thought you liked him?" I was silent for a moment before I answered, "Feelings change, you know." Then I walked ahead of her.

Obviously, what I said was a big fat lie. But I really hope my feelings change and just vanish in an instant.