I wake up, gasping for the air I lack. The sweat dripping off my forehead, another night in hell. My alarm clock begins to scream its heart out and I throw it on the ground in frustration. I put my head back down on my pillow and take a deep breath before standing up.

I make the bed and walk into the room of my son, he is still sleeping. I wake him up, his sleepy eyes look cute in the morning sun. "We need to go to school Querido" Querido is a nickname, it means honey or dear in portugese. he hugs me. I take a breath, I can still not believe that I only need to take care of Duarte, the room of Miguel is still strangely empty. I put my hand briefly on the handle of the room and for a moment I close my eyes and imagine him drawing at his desk.

I drop Duarte at his school and begin to drive to the high security prison where I will meet my patient for today. I park my car and take my phone out of my pocket. A call comes in at exactely that time. I pick it up. "Oliver," I close my eyes. "I can hardly keep this up" I hear a saddened sigh on the other line. "I want to help you. But right now, I can't" "I know I know" i say while resting my head on my steering wheel. My husband is in the military and he is currently deployed. It's his first deployment since the accident. I miss him even more. 

I step out of the car and put on my black gambler. I shut off my emotions and forget my life. I smile, now I am not leonid, I am Neo Crassus. Try to fool me, I wish you luck