Chapter 28

Heading home felt like I was saying goodbye. And I was in a way. I wouldn't be back in the house for several months and when I did return it would only be to remove my things and take them over to Lucius' home. I had six months to get used to the idea that we would be moving in together. It was stupid to feel fear at the prospect. He had been sleeping in my home for several months already and he had the majority of his wardrobe in my drawer.

Yet it felt different.

It felt like I was changing my life irrevocably by agreeing to his terms. It was stupid and childish but it didn't stop it from being true. The house was my security blanket – my failsafe if our relationship didn't work out. But there were no guarantees in life and by holding on to this house when the decision had already been made would be holding us back – I would always have one foot out of the door.

It had to be all of nothing.

Zipping up my suitcase, which was bulging under the strain of so many things packed within its confines, I closed my eyes and bowed my head. Drawing in a few steadying breaths, I tried to calm my thudding heart. I was being stupid – it was just Lucius. He was the same man I had been around for years and had loved for almost that long.

It was just a lot to take in. I was moving to Hell and I would be helping Lucius to rule it. Never had I imagined that my life would be heading this way. When I had been young and they had asked what I wanted to be it was never Queen of Hell. It never even entered my mind as a possibility. Not that a princess had been a realistic option either.

"Are you okay? You don't need to come if you don't want to." Lucius murmured softly, arms coming to wrap around my waist and his face burrowing into the side of my neck.

The way his arms flexed and tightened around my body told me that saying 'no' really wouldn't be that simple. He would not be able to let me go as easily as he professed.

And I didn't want to say no. I wanted to go with him – live in his world and be the woman he needed. And it was not because I had to but because I wanted to. It was the thing about love. It didn't make me any less of an independent woman to want to be by his side. It didn't mean I forfeited who I was to become a love struck fool. It was a free choice to be with and support a person who meant a lot to me.

"I'm fine. Just getting jitters about this sitting on the throne malarkey." I waved my hand carelessly through the air to brush of his concerns before turning in his arms.

Pressed chest to chest to one another, I could feel our heart beats pumping in perfect synchronisation. It was incredible considering my pulse was humming so fast I could barely keep count of the beats. But all thoughts of matching heart beats melted away when I stared up into those mesmerising blue eyes and drunk in the emotions which swirled within the crystalline depths. I wasn't sure what he could see within my own gaze but I tried to convey all of my feelings with all of my heart.

"You're never leaving me here. You're not getting away from me that easy." I replied softly, wrapping his hands into his shirt as his fingers dug into my waist.

Hugging me tighter to his body in a move so possessive it left me breathless, he whispered a blunt response that my scattered mind could not comprehend. And then he closed the remaining distance between us. His lips were firm and warm as they took ownership of my mouth. I watched him for as long as the intoxicating kiss would allow but all too quickly my body became overcome by the sensations and my eyes fluttered closed.

It was as close to heaven as I could get. At least it seemed that way to me. His embrace was like coming home. He made me feel whole on the inside while setting my veins alive with a spark only he could ignite. It was a confusing mix. One hand came up to tangle in my hair while the other remained wrapped around my waist.

"Can't you put her down for one moment?"

Groaning, I lingered on the kiss. It was futile. Zeke's voice was like a bucket of cold water and had effectively broken the moment. It appeared that every moment shared with my husband-to-be would be spoiled by an interruption of some kind. It was the price of having a large family that did not understand the concept of boundaries.

Opening my eyes, I turned to glare at the smirking Angel as he stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms folded across his chest. As he stood there, I could see the similarities between the angels and fallen for the first time. They all seemed to like that pose whenever they wanted to mock the pair of us. And sure enough a moment later he opened his mouth.

"I'll give you two a moment to tidy yourselves up and then we'll meet you downstairs." Zeke stated with a smirk on his lips.

He chuckled when Lucius cussed. It cut of abruptly when he was forced to duck as a moment later there was a loud thump when one of my shoes hit the door just a scant inch from his head.

"Don't shoot the messenger. We just need to discuss some things before you both head on your little vacation." With a lofty wave of his hand, Zeke departed as swiftly as he had arrived.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on Lucius' chest, inhaling his scent to try and calm my nerves.

***

Ten minutes later found us all in the living room.

Sitting down on the sofa, Lucius on one side and Danny on the other, I stared over at Gabriel and Zeke.

Gabriel was ramrod straight and perched on the very edge of his chair. Dressed in the suits he favoured so much, he appeared cold and aloof because his eyes were looking anywhere but at the three of us. His jaw was clenched tight and no matter how much he tried to mask it, I could see the evidence of his pain.

I held back a sigh. It was terrible to see him suffering so much, especially when their news was enough to make me want to dance with joy.

"You're not taking him back with you?" I asked, thinking I had heard wrong but desperate for the answer to be the one I wanted.

"No, we are not. The immediate threat is over. Danny needs his mother for now." Gabriel advised, finally allowing his gaze to drop down and meet mine before his morose gaze stared sadly at the little boy in my hold. "When he is sixteen he will need to come back for training. He is the son of an archangel and because of that he is destined for many great things."

I looked down at the snoozing boy and shook my head. "I just want him to have a happy life. I don't want him to face the things I have done."

"He is Nephilim. He was never going to be destined for a normal life." Gabriel replied solemnly, his own eyes reflecting my fears – the fears of a parent. "He will have to face his destiny whether he likes it or not, just as I have to face mine and you yours."

"That doesn't make it any easier."

"It wasn't meant to." He replied evenly.

I laughed sadly, wiping a hand to capture the tears which had fallen from my eyes.

"Will we see you again?" I asked as I stroked my fingers through Danny's hair, for my own comfort rather than his. "You're not just going to disappear are you? You know that even if I am in a relationship with Lucius you will always be Danny's father. Nothing will ever change that."

The Archangel bowed his head and looked down at his folded hands for several long seconds before looking up once more. A single teardrop leaked from the corner of his eyes and trailed down his cheek. He did not look ashamed of it. Instead he allowed it to trail down his cheek unfettered.

"Thank you. It is reassuring to hear that." He choked out. "And yes, you will see me again. Our father has removed his decree that all angels are removed from the surface. The souls are settled and he feels that an angelic presence among the humans may have a calming effect." Zeke cut in, his eyes turning sad as he looked at the black television screen.

He was no doubt remembering the news stories which had been playing on the box before I had had enough and turned the damned thing off. It had been one story after another of supernatural persecution, death and mayhem. It was enough to lose all hope and faith in the world around us. But hope was all we had.

"Let's hope he is right. I don't want to face any more war. I tire of it." I murmured, stroking a finger over Danny's cherubic face. He would always be my little angel.

"Unfortunately war is the way of the world. Man always finds a way to start another battle. It is in their nature." Zeke stated, his hand scratching at the stubble on his jaw. His eyes were looking at something in the distance as if he was reviewing some particularly complex problem.

I nodded my head. I knew in my heart it was true but it didn't mean I liked hearing it, especially since the last few years had been nothing but war.

"Now on to other matters, where is Caspar?" Gabriel asked, his business mask sliding into place as he got to his feet.

I pointed to the floor above. "Upstairs, it's a bit of a bad day for him." I advised, looking upwards as if I could see the suffering young man. "Binah's been working with him but the progress is slow. She is struggling with her mortality and he is struggling with the craziness within his head."

"That's why I want to see him. It benefits everyone that he is well and sane. I will see if I can give him a little bit of relief in order for him to work through his traumas. I can't cure him of what he suffers. It is not an illness but rather damage to his soul that can only be healed by his own strength and time." The man pushed to his feet and before I could say anything further he was disappearing up the stairs.

I turned back to Zeke and smiled, albeit sadly.

"How is he doing?" I asked quietly, looking towards the stairs to ensure he was out of earshot.

"He's doing as well as he can. He knows that this between you and Lucius is just the beginning. It does not matter that he knew from the very beginning you and he were not destined to last, it didn't stop him from falling in love with you." Zeke stated softly, his eyes watching me as he spoke.

"I'm sorry." I looked at Lucius, slipping my hand into his and giving it a squeeze in an attempt to draw in his strength. "I didn't want him to hurt."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. All of this is out of your control." Zeke advised, leaning across to put a hand on my shoulder. "Gabriel will get over this, I have a feeling our father will give him something else to set his heart on. He loves us after all. He wouldn't want us to suffer."

"I hope so." I responded.

A slow heavy patter of feet on the stairs drew my attention.

Instead of Gabriel descending the stairs, it was Binah who shuffled into view. She looked a lot healthier than she had a few hours before. Her colour had returned and the dark circles beneath her eyes were gone. It appeared that time was the only healer in her strange situation.

She smiled as she wandered into the room. "Hi."

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" I asked as Zeke got from his feet and helped her down the last of the stairs.

"Better. I wanted to talk to you actually." She replied, shuffling into the room slowly.

"Speak away." I replied, leaning back into the chair.

Binah settled on the chair across from me before reaching out and taking my hand. "First off, I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me - for taking me in and looking after me."

I waved her off. "Say nothing more on it. You are family."

She smiled and looked up at me. "And you are mine. That being said, I have decided that I cannot impose on your hospitality any longer. I will be relocating back to my own home this afternoon. I have only one life to live – I want to live it to the fullest."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently. "I understand completely." I drew in a breath and hesitated.

"What is it?" she asked, a frown forming on her beautiful face.

I bit my lip, looking over at Zeke for reassurance. He shrugged his shoulders, his gaze bouncing between the two of us.

"I hate to ask it. I really do."

Lucius, who had been silent up until this point, cut in. "But can you stay here, just until we return from the Underworld. I know that the twins and Clem will be running Satani HQ while we're away but it would settle our minds to have you here."

"We completely understand if you say no though." I added hastily, watching her face intently in an attempt to gauge her reactions.

"Of course I will stay." Binah replied after what felt like an eternity of silence.

She smiled when the pair of us let out a relieved breath. "But just until you return. And then I will be getting away for a while. I won't be going anywhere too far. Just to Hampshire. I'd invited Caspar to come and stay – Ms Bridger too. I'll have to change a few of our plans now."

"Ms Bridger?" I questioned,

"I can help Caspar with the horseman side of things but she seems to be helping him cope mentally with all that he has experienced. He needs to be mentally well if he is going to have a chance at surviving eternity as a Horseman of the Apocalypse with his sanity intact." Binah's smiled grimly. "It is a burden that very few can bear."

I nodded my head.

Finally, the dark haired woman looked over at Lucius. "I wanted to apologise." Knotting her hands together in her lap, she held his gaze even as she became more agitated. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about this. I was just afraid that you would stop me. And I didn't want you to."

Lucius pushed up out of his seat and then knelt before the woman as she started to cry.

"And I would have tried to stop you. Because I am selfish and I hate the thought of my sister dying." He reached up and swiped away the dampness on her cheeks, then leaning forwards and wrapping her into a strong hug.

They embraced one another for several long moments while I watched on, my fingers continuing to comb through Danny's soft hair. It soothed my soul even as I felt my heart breaking at the scene playing out before me. Who knew long Binah would have left before her mortal life came to an end. It was difficult to calculate when there was nothing to compare her situation to.

Finally, after several long minutes holding one another, Binah pulled out of their hold. Then she patted Lucius' cheek affectionately. Giving him a shaky smile, she allowed her gaze to drift over his shoulder.

"Now, would you mind escorting me back up the stairs Ezekiel? I've found that I'm feeling a little bit tired."

"Of course, Binah. It will be a pleasure." He replied, bowing his head respectfully. There was a twinkle in his eyes as he stared at her. It was a look I had not seen on his face before and I really didn't want to analyse it.

Crossing the room with strong yet silent steps, Zeke held out his arm to the woman while a warm smile played over his lips. I blinked and his smile was gone. Still, when her fingers were wrapped around his strong arms, he placed his hand over the top. They disappeared up the stairs together without another word.

Lucius took a seat at my side and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his body as he did so.

"I think that's everything taken care of. Binah and Clem will look after Caspar and the boys. And they will all take care of HQ while we're gone."

"Yeah, that's everything." I murmured in agreement.

Leaning my head against his chest, I drew comfort in his strength and sighed. I enjoyed the quiet for a few moments before lifting my head to look up at Lucius. He was already watching me in that way that he did.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing" He shook his head and then bent his head so that he could press his lips to my forehead in a chaste kiss. "I just like looking at you."

"Careful, you don't want to ruin your big bad reputation."

The dark haired man of my life snorted and then chuckled into my hair. "I think that ship has already sailed." I hummed in agreement.

"Are you ready to come home with me, my angel?" He asked, his fingers stroking soothingly up the length of my arm.

Even as the endearment touched my heart, I knew that I was ready to do this. We would be spending our next few months in the beauty of Hell, my son finally back home with me – with us. It still felt strangely empty without the other Halflings but I knew they were being cared for. This was our chance to start having a bit of normalcy – some time without war biting at our heels. I needed that. I needed it more than I could comprehend.

Leaning up, I pressed a kiss to his lips, "Yes, I am more than ready."