Tugging the scarf around my neck,I glanced around the empty park..

He is nowhere to be seen.

It was getting colder as the sun slowly went down and little glimpse of stars started popping up in the sky..

How he found me.

Why does he want to talk me.

We lost contact after breaking up.

Why now.

Exhaling deeply,a cloud of cold air appeared when I did that,arms wrapping around my body trying to warm myself..

"I hope you didn't wait for a long time."

The knot in my stomach transfered in my chest,almost making me unable to breath or even move..

"Not like I waited for you all those years."

Tilting my head slightly to the side,I noticed the tall male figure standing right next to me,hands inside the pockets,his long black hair resting on his shoulders as the cold wind gave them a gentle push back..

But something colder that the wind was his stare..

Looking down at me with a stare that made me shiver..

"Hey Val." I managed to squeeze the words out of my throat,looking at him as my body still trembled..

"I am surprised you even remember my name."

He took a seat next to me on the cold bench,hands still inside the pockets as he sighed,looking up to the sky..

"I am sorry."

With mumbled words,i lowered my head,clinging the jacket around me..

"Don't you think it's too late for that?"

"Val.."

"Four years Kat!Four years!" He interrupted me with a small growl..

I turned and looked at him with a scared gaze,he looked at me and slightly got back,sighing as a small cloud from the cold appeared..

"I waited for you,I understood your decisions,I supported you.Only for you to turn and look at me and say that,this was over?"

His cold hand reached for mine,cupping it with his other hand and slightly clinging it..

"I loved you,so much Kat.I still do.You are the only person I got in touch in so much deep level,and i can't forget that,like I said to you back in the day:Take your time,do this,do that,I knew you were stressed but I wanted you to remember that I would always be here for you,that i would always love you."

Opening my mouth about to say something he pulled my body closer,shivers going down my spine..

"I want you in my life again,please.Can we try again?"

Slightly pulling my hand away from his,I backed a bit away from him so there would be a space between us..

"I know how are you feeling,but I know what we did was the best."

"What we did?"

He stood up,my eyes following his moves as he went up and down as bit,huffing..

"You broke up with me.You decided it was the best because of your stupid shit was going around in your life and couldn't handle them all at once!And I was the stupid fuck to agree to all that!"

"I told you that you didn't have to agree and always object,but you always said to do what makes me happy!"

"Yeah,guess what!I really wanted that,but I wanted to be happy too!With you!"

He carefully fall on his knees,his hands gripping my knees as I looked down at him with heavy breathing,his eyes almost pleading for me..

"Please I want you back,I am sorry for not being entirely with you,not understand your hell that was going in your head but I am here now,ready to help,just please,don't push me away thinking I won't understand."

"That's the point Val,you won't understand!" Without thinking,the words started escaping my mouth with a huff,standing up making him almost fall..

"I warned you,about me being in depression and that I won't be easy.You were my first relationship too!That time of my life when I expected nothing to happen,something did happen!I was leaving town,going somewhere else,my work place isn't here so long distance relationship wouldn't really last,my stress was over the roof and when one day I was ready to just give up on everything and you learned about my suicide attempt,you just,did almost nothing!"

"That's not true,I was so fucking scared that day when you told me!"

"And you just literally went 'oh,don't do that its bad' in the most non caring way ever!"

I didn't realise that tears were rolling down my cheeks,as I softly sobbed along with inhaling the cold air making my chest hurt..

I quickly wiped my tears,looking away..

"I was sensitive and fragile,I really needed someone to guide me through and you thought it was a joke and tomorrow I would feel better.But it got worse."

"I can never understand you." Val mumbled,his hands turned into fists..

"No one will ever understand me.I am a mess."

"Then help me Kat,help me understand your inner hell."

"I tried,but you just..never understood."

Turning my gaze away I checked the time on my watch,a long sigh escaping my dry lips..

"I need to go."

"No,please." As he said that he grabbed my wrist..

"Please think about it,I am here for you.Look,tomorrow is New Years Eve,me and the guys are going to have New Years at our usual place."

"I am not in the mood for clubs."

"If you change your mind and actually want us to try again,I will be there,waiting for you,alright?"

The grip around my wrist tighten,making me turn and look at him..

"I am not promising anything." I yanked my hand away from his,slightly rubbing it as I looked away again..

"Just,one night.One night with your decision that's all."

I exhaled deeply,turning my back at him about to walk away..

"I love you.Please remember that."

With a knot forming in my stomach and heart,I started walking away,feeling my toes completely cold as they were finally moving..

But yet,I could feel his eyes staring at me,making me have shivers down my spine for once again.

Something inside me told me to stop and look back.

But I didn't.

I just kept walking.