It turns out Lucy uploaded a picture of me and her in her bed on social media. I was asleep at the time, but it explains why everyone hates me even more. I'm not sure how to feel about the things Lucy is doing at this point. It seems that she believes what she's doing is right, but it's hurting other people. So it's not just the anger I feel for her. Other emotions are swirling inside me for her as well.

Lucy and I found her car vandalized with written vulgarities and poorly drawn appendages on it. They didn't write on the windows so Lucy doesn't mind. She says it makes the car look like a hardcore adult film star. I audibly say the Lord's name in vain and she snorts. We then get in her car and she doesn't drive in the direction of her home.

A lot of Lucy's music seems to be related to the Devil or something that fits that theme. The first song that was played, 'Ice Melts' by Megosh, is a song with a man and his guitar, and it's like it was sung from Lucy's perspective.

https://youtu.be/UhH8J273ack

"Just cause I'm like you

Doesn't make it right

The Devil takes his time

Like it or not we're the same

We belong together in the flames

I'll wait for you till

I see you in Hell..."

The next song, Villain by K/DA, is a dark pop song that sounds like it was sung from the perspective of a succubus. The song opens up with a woman's deep voice singing about her vanity and pride.

https://youtu.be/tzug3Dm37NQ

"On the low

Only love myself no more

Take you to the grave I'll ghost

I know I can be so cold...

In the dark

Where I like to keep my heart

Know I'm all bite, no bark

Like to catch you way off guard...

I'll stay so deep inside your brain

And take you somewhere far away..."

Then it goes into the chorus, a fast-based bass line followed by two women's voices.

"Time to roll the dice, you know I'm the type

Type to risk my life, not afraid to die

Type to make you cry, type to put a price

All up on your head, do just what I said..."

After that, it goes into the post-chorus and Jesus Christ; the music shifts and it sounds like what I imagine neurons in my head firing off would sound like if they were a beat.

"I'm alive, but I'm dead

Hear my voice up in your head

Watch it fill you full of dread

Till you go Pow

Is it really a surprise if I'm playing with your mind

And I treat you like a prize, then I throw you to the side?

And am I really that bad if I love to make you mad?

And get happy when you're sad, only care about a bag...

In control

That's how I like it and I'm never letting go, nah

Never had a soul (soul)

So you ain't taking nothing from me when you go, nah..."

It makes me wonder if she actually identifies with this stuff, or if it's all just a facade to make me afraid of her.

I think back on the baptism. She said she felt better afterward. Did God not help her like I thought he would? I look in the back seat and see Jesus sitting behind Lucy. No, it's clear God hasn't given up on Lucy yet. After what she asked me at the fireplace and the chance of me being in her life like this, there's still a chance for Lucy. She did murder someone, but if she comes clean now, there's a chance she won't spend her life in prison. But how can I convince her of such a thing? Is there a Lucy inside of there that believes what she's doing is wrong?

Lucy parks her car at the edge of a hill that peers into a valley. It's an amazing view; a setting orange and red sunset fills the car and the valley. Lucy then turns the music down and this is my chance. But what do I say? How do I broach this subject?

"I'm not actually gonna hurt him," Lucy starts, staring at the sunset, "Delilah's brother I mean. Clyde wouldn't hurt a fly. He's just all bark."

"But you still killed Matthew."

"That's because he hurt you."

"They've all hurt me. That doesn't mean they deserve to die."

"Matthew didn't give an ounce of a shit about you. Why do you care about him at all?"

"Because he's a piece of God, Lucy! We all are."

"Well maybe some pieces of God are meant to burn!"

"That's not up for you to decide."

"I'm the Devil! I punish evil, that's kind of my job."

"No—Lucy—you're not the Devil—"

"Oh my God Judy you're so blind! Don't you see what's right in front of you?"

"What—"

"You're the Devil too, Judas! Why do you think Jesus follows you around?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Think about it. Your mom didn't want you to know you were God so she named you after the betrayer and treated you the way she did. You see—"

"No—okay—Lucy—I'm not the Devil. I'm a human—"

"The Devil can be anything they wish to be. Anybody can be the Devil."

"So you and I could be evil incarnate?"

"We're capable of becoming it, aren't we?"

I don't know what to say so I just watch the sunset.

"But you aren't evil," she says, "However, that can change with one bad day."

Then I see my chance.

"And you can change with one good day," I say. Lucy moves her attention from the sunset and her diamond blue eyes glisten in the light, "If you come clean about what you did now, you probably won't get life in prison. Women tend not to get sentenced equally compared to males for the same crimes. You're still a minor. It's not too late to fix this."

Her eyes move to the side and then back to me.

"Think I'd look good in orange?" She asks. I snort.

"Maybe red."

"Ohhh. Like a crimson."

The sun starts setting behind the mountains and darkness descends on us.

"What if we're all the Devil?" Lucy asks, "Like it's something dormant inside us. And it can be summoned if the time comes."

"I'd say that sounds crazy, but I assume you have something to say about it."

"It says in the bible, at the last super when Jesus created the idea communion, that Jesus dipped a piece of bread in wine and then said, 'Whoever I give this bread to will betray me.' He then gave it to Judas and the bible says 'Then the Devil entered Judas.' And that's when Judas betrayed God."

"That's—well an interesting theory. But that's insane. We're not all evil, are we?"

"We're capable of it! Because there are some things I just can't control, Judy. Things I'm powerless to. And I can prove that you're the same way too."

She reaches into the back seat and grabs her backpack. She puts it on her lap, unzips it, and pulls out a black revolver. My blood goes steel cold as she starts to unload the bullets leaving only one in the chamber. She had that in her backpack the entire time at school? How long has Lucy been armed around the students of Hawkins?

She then spins the barrel a dozen or so times and stops it abruptly, holding the gun up to her head.

"Lucy—" I gasp.

"When I fell from Heaven, it was like I was rising as well. I just didn't know it yet. Still, some will always see me as a monster."

She pulls the trigger, a click goes off, and I jump.

"Lucy—give me the gun," I ask her.

"But not you Judas. I killed a man for you and pinned a bomb threat on you yet you want to prevent my death? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Another trigger pull, another click, two of four, I'm losing chances, I have to do something.

I don't know what to say so I just say the truth, "Lucy, God loves you. He doesn't want you to die. Don't do this. I need you, Lucy. Please don't do this."

A tear goes down her face.

"When I was baptized, I felt nothing," she admits, "Does that mean I'm too far gone?"

"No, Lucy. It's never too late. That's just a hot tub and some water. It's just a symbol."

She pulls the trigger, her eyes widen and she jumps back against the door, that's half now.

"Don't say that!" she screams.

"I didn't say anything," I say. I look over to Jesus in the back seat and he's staring at someone to his right. I look to see whoever's there but all I see is a dark corner.

"Stop, stop, stop, stop it," Lucy murmurs, holding the shaking gun to her head, her eyes trained on the dark corner of the car.

"Don't listen to her, Lucy," I say to her, "Remember who you are."

"She's so loud," she says.

"I know, but you're stronger. God's here. Remember your real name."

"My real name?"

"Yes, remember what you told me."

"My name—my name is Sam."

Something shifts in her and she looks around the car. She starts to lower the gun and I waste no time taking it out of her hand.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" I ask, checking the cylinder to see that the next bullet would've ended her life.

"Why'd you stop me? All of this would've been over if you'd just let me keep pulling the trigger."

An image of Jenny leaning back in her recliner pointing the gun to her head flashes in my head. Then the woman in the chair changes to Lucy and back to Jenny. Back and forth between the two like an old film tape where one frame is Jenny and the other is Lucy.

"It wouldn't have been over," I say, "Not for us. I don't want you to die, Sam. What you have done has not undone what God can do through you. You don't have to be on the wrong side of history. Don't wait too long to be right. It's not too late."

She looks at her hands, "If I'm not the Devil, then what am I?" she asks. I take her hands and her eyes meet mine.

"You're Sam," I say, "And you'll fly beyond this cosmos of stars and show the world that you are more than just a Devil. You have a purpose as much as anyone else does. And that purpose can be as meaningful and worth it as you can imagine it. But that doesn't mean you can escape the consequences of your actions."

Sam closes her eyes and then opens them, a tear falling from her left eye. Her phone rings and she answers it.

"Clyde? Yeah. Forget it. I'll grant you that favor. See you soon," she hangs up the phone, "Looks like we're going to Denver."

"You okay to drive?"

"You kidding? I love driving in this mood. Just need to crank the music and—"

She cranks the nob of the volume while a band slashes at their electric guitars and pounds on their drums with their fury. Sam then puts the car in reverse and does a burn-out of the area. What sounds like a man but is a deep-voiced woman screams vocals about being a wicked person and starts to sing from her speakers:

https://youtu.be/vc-b-t6RCvc

"Don't know where I'm going

Everybody's running, everybody's running

Come back after all is broken

Everything is burning, no one is returning

Step back, step back, everybody step back, step back

It's time to pick up the slack, the slack, you oughta know

Save me from this wicked person I've become

As the world comes crashing..."

The entire time Sam is mouthing the lyrics as we drive way over the speed limit. Should I still be calling her Sam? Or is she still Lucy?