Polly breathed in, then out. She sat in the pew, next to her parents, listening to the familiar music of marriage as a beautiful bride walked down the aisle. She was nearly crying, and her father beside her was in the same state.

Her eyes fixated on the groom, and she felt something twist in the stomach. She felt like the sight in front of her didn't sit right. She couldn't picture herself walking down the aisle, looking into the eyes of a man. It just didn't add up for her.

She knew marrying a man was the norm, but there was something about it that made her squirm uncomfortably. She just couldn't picture it. She just couldn't picture herself alongside a man for the rest of her life.

She didn't like sitting here feeling this way. She most certainly didn't like feeling like everyone in the room knew she felt this way.

"Will you stop fidgeting?" her mother sternly asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You look more nervous than the bride!"

She felt more nervous

She watched as Doctor Higgins stood at the front of the bride and groom. He was the new priest at church, and already Polly didn't like him. There was a certain glint in his eyes that spelled danger, and Polly wanted nothing to do with that.

Even now, as he was marrying this couple, Polly felt chills run down her spine. The way he looked at them was terrifying, like he knew something they didn't. Like he had something planned for them.

The ceremony wasn't long, much to Polly's relief. She hated sitting there, watching as the happy couple kissed and celebrated. It was sickening to Polly, because she couldn't relate. She wanted, so badly, to want that. But, she didn't, and it made her sick. Sick to think that there was something wrong with her, that she was different, that she was wrong.

She stood up on wobbly legs. Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder, and bent her head low. "I think I saw food on a table out back. You should eat something; you look pale, dear."

Polly nodded, but she couldn't concentrate on her mother's words. She couldn't stop replaying the kissing scene in her head, and when she pictured herself doing the same, it didn't feel right. Didn't look right to her.

She moved to the food table. Her dress, which was white and pink, would stain easily, so Polly ruled out the messy foods right away. She knew her parents would be very disappointed in her if she spilt something on her dress.

So, she moved towards the snack foods, and grabbed a cookie.

A hand hand fell on her shoulder, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Shivers ran down her spine, and she didn't have to turn around to see who it was.

"I need to talk to you. Care to join me in my office?"

It was Doctor Higgins, of course, and Polly couldn't say no. She knew that from the tone of his voice, and the authority he had over her, so she nodded mutely and held tight to the cookie in her hand. Her heart was racing, her body felt clammy, and fear pooled in the pit of her stomach.

Something was wrong.

She stepped into his office, sitting down in one of the red chairs, settling into the cushion. A puff of dust fanned up around her as she sat, indicating that no one had sat in the chair in a long, long time.

It made Polly's stomach churn with the thought that she didn't belong there. It was common knowledge that no one ever went into Doctor Higgins' office. And now, here she was, sitting in an unused chair, watching as Doctor Higgins stood in front of her.

"How did you like the ceremony?" he asked, sitting on the edge of his desk. He loosened his tie, and unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. "It was fantastic, was it not?"

Polly just looked at him, not daring to answer. She didn't know how to answer.

"How old are you, Polly?" He tried a different angle, still in the stages of relaxing. He undid the cuffs of his shirt, and rolled them up to his elbows.

Polly blinked once. "Nine." It seemed like a harmless answer.

"Ah, so old enough to understand love."

Polly didn't know where this was going. She sat tense in the chair, waiting. Waiting for him to bring up a point, or tell her what he wanted her to know.

"Do you know how a man and a woman love each other?"

She didn't know how to answer. She watched as he walked around his desk towards her, and she felt her heart in her throat, thumping wildly and out of control.

"They kiss." She offered.

Doctor Higgins smiled wickedly. "Oh, they do more than that, my child." He went to the door and locked it, the wriggled the door handle to double check. Then, he went to the windows and pulled down the blinds. All the while, Polly was sweating nervously in the chair, not know what to do or where this was going. She was nervous. Worried. Frightened.

"Why am I here?" Polly asked, her voice wobbly and off kilter. She wanted to move. She wanted to run.

"Because I know your secret, Polly." He said simply, moving to the television in the corner of the room. "I know that what you saw today didn't connect with you. And I also know that you can't picture yourself up there, with a man, getting married."

Polly felt like someone was choking her. "How would you know that?" she dared to ask, feeling her chest constrict. She didn't understand how he could know. She couldn't fathom that he had read her so easily.

"Because I know you. And I know you like girls in a way you're not supposed to, my dear Polly."

She shook her head in denial. "No, not true. I like boys." Lies. She thought they were yucky, but so did every girl her age.

"Too bad I don't believe you. So I'm going to show you something. I'm going to show you how humans should love."

Polly couldn't turn from the screen, even if she wanted to. She didn't understand what she was seeing, why everyone was naked, why those sounds were coming out of their mouths. And when she did turn her head, Doctor Higgins turned it back towards the screen, holding it in place.

And she watched. She watched as the man and the woman rolled around on a bed, and she didn't understand. She didn't understand why Doctor Higgins was doing this to her, and she didn't understand why he even owned these kinds of movies.

She felt dirty. She felt embarrassed. She felt naughty.

Every few moments, Doctor Higgins would lean down into her ear and whisper things.

"That's right, see how that man and women love each other?"

"See how they fit together right, unlike a woman and a woman?"

"See how they're enjoying this?"

She didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. And when Doctor Higgins turned off the tape, there was something wrong with him. He looked like he was hazy, and even a little drunk. Polly knew what drunk looked like; she'd seen her parents drunk before. And Doctor Higgins looked on the verge of drunk with the way he was looking at her, panting and running a hand through his hair. His face was flushed. And he was staring at her with this look on his face, and Polly didn't like it.

He didn't do anything else, and let her escape to her parents. But what Polly didn't realize was that wouldn't be the only time that would happen. And not every time Doctor Higgins would let her run away without contributing something.

* * *

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