Conquered the Devil with a little thing called love.
-Bob Marley 

"Do you love him?" Cal asks across from me, Jessamine staring straight at me creeps me out. After spending the last hour talking about random things with Cal, knowing that his girl is interrogating my boyfriend in the room over, my nerves seriously got grated on.

Xavier is lounging on the edge of a couch, looking like he could care less about the conversation we're having.

Cal and Jessamine are both sitting in armchairs, while I decided to sprawl myself out on the love seat -wrong move.

I clench my jaw, glaring right back at my best friend. 

She knows she shouldn't force me into these conversations, that my mind gets clogged with panic and usually I end up running away to calm down.

Most days I end up with my dad.

"I asked if you love him." The ever polite Angel repeats, somehow thinking I didn't hear him.

"Answer Emma, this will be over faster if you do and then you can leave." My heart pounds at Jessie's words, automatically my hand shifts up to clench around my dragon ring necklace. 

"Yes." I snap.

My boyfriend's head turn towards me so fast I'm surprised he didn't break anything, but I refuse to look up at him.

Instead my gaze is focused on the carpet as I play with my tongue ring.

These things do come in handy.

"How much?" Cal asks, leaning forward when I glance at him.

"What, does it come in gallons?" Is my snarky reply, and even I am wondering why I'm so defensive about this. Loving Xavier isn't a bad thing. "Does it matter?" I ask, my voice still snappy.

"Why would it not?"

This time I simply refuse to answer, but wince when I tug on the silver piercing too hard and have to tear my teeth away from it. 

But Jessamine leans over to whisper something in his ear, and just based off of how Xavier tenses completely I know he heard them and it wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"What were you looking for when you first liked him?" Cal asks, continuing on with the interrogation.

I lift a lazy eyebrow at this. "I wasn't looking for anything at all when I walked into that room with him, strangely enough."

"Did you know you were going to fall in love with him?" 

"What kind of stupid question is that?" I ask, glaring at Cal. "Who know's they're going to fall in love?"

"Good point." He clears his throat. "Did you plan on, I don't know, trying to be his girlfriend?"

"No." At both Cal and Jessie's go-on look I roll my eyes. "I wasn't planning on falling for anyone soon, I was trying not to plan to kill myself." The Angel's eyes widen, clearly not knowing this information. "But then I met him -fuck...and that was it, I guess. Things just happen."

"What things?"

"Are they important?"

"You're still alive, aren't you." Calum shoots back, making my fist clench tighter. "I think those must be pretty important things then."

"They're pretty basic, actually." I reply, challenging him.

"Good, then we won't have trouble understanding." Jessie shoots back.

"What do you want a list?" I ask, scoffing slightly when Cal nods. "Seriously?"

"Yes." I snort at this, but comply none the less.

"One, I found Xavier. Two, I found myself slowly wanting to spend time with it. It was simply, see." I say. "It was the beginning, I guess. You don't look for anything, and then you suddenly realize you have something. And that something's pretty good." 

Even if it does come in the form of the Devil.

"I just want to say I love that so fucking much, you are so adorable I can't believe-" Jessamine starts to gush, but thankfully Cal cuts her off.

"Did you ever think of him as a friend?"

"We acted like friends."

"That's not what I asked." He cocks his head to the side.

"Well that's the answer you got." I drop my gaze once again, burying myself further into my soft sweatshirt.

"What do you like about him?" 

"From what I've heard everything." Jessie butts in, I let her take over and lay down on my back. Isn't she just a A+ student today, answering all these questions. "Is he the one?" She asks excitedly. "Do ya think, do ya think?"

"I'm the special one, I'm awesome." I reply sardonically.  "Don't ya think, don't ya think."

"Why don't you say it -out loud, to him?" Cal suggests.

I'm pretty sure they all see my entire body tense at the thought. 

"She's not gonna answer." Jessamine let's him know.

"Why's that?" The Angel asks.

Because, do you know how painful it is to tell someone you love them and not hear them say it back?

"But you do love him?" 

"Oh my fucking god!" I shout, scrambling to my feet. I'm not sure what shocks them more, this outburst or the tears in my eyes. "Yes I love him! It's all him. It's all you!" I yell at Xavier, poking a finger into his chest. "I cannot even describe it anymore, it's just you. You're the only one I will ever want, and have ever wanted like this! I belong with you. You're my home, idiot. I look at you and somehow I see 50 years ahead, in the living room of a old house and we're together. And we have our kids, and grand-kids around us! I need you. I fucking need him okay?" I turn back to the surprised power couple. "He's one of the only things that matter to me, he's my good okay? He's the biggest win. Yes I love him, now fuck off about it."

I hastily wipe at the tears around my eyes, for some reason flash backs are threatening to pop up.

Because there's blood, there's so much blood.

"Fuck, why is this so important?" I ask the six wide eyes staring at me, then throw my hands in the air. "Never mind, don't even attempt to answer that shit question. I'm leaving."

"Wait, Emmeline where-"

"Where do you think?" I yell, snatching my keys off the hook before I stuff my feet in my sneakers and close the door.

I'm startled, utterly startled when I come face to face with Macy and Olivia.

"Emma honey, are you okay?" She asks, and I struggle not to burst into tears at how motherly that sounded. "Is it my son? Oo, that boy better not have ruined the cuteness between you two. It's too cute to ruin!"

"No," I shake my head, forcing a smile on my face. "Trust me, this is all on me. I just need to go somewhere right now, thanks though."

"You're still his girlfriend?" Liv asks, her voice small.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm still his girlfriend." 

My legs are kicked over my dad's grave as I lay on my back, my eyes closed as I sing along to different songs that my phone blasts. 

'We had plans, we had visions, now I can't see ahead.'

Tears prick my eyes.

'We were one, we were golden, forever, you said.'

All I'm doing at this point is keeping it together.

'But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep -You've got your peace now, but what about me?'

But not very well.

'Thought we had the time, had our lives. Now you'll never get older, older.'

He said he loved me, that I made him love me.

'Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time -Getting colder, colder.'

So, why am I so upset?

"One last word, one last moment. To ask you why -You left me here behind."

Why does my heart feel so rejected?

'You said you'd grow old with me.'

But I refuse to cry, not here and not about this.

All I want to do is sing, smile and remember my dad singing and smiling -to feel, for once that he's laying right beside me and belting out the lyrics with me.

"You haven't sang like that in a long time." A soft voice startled me, I jerk and make my phone land in the grass where the sound is canceled out.

I don't bother swinging my feet off the grave when I see Jessie.

"Not where people can hear me." I respond, reaching for my phone before turning it off and stuffing it in my pocket. My eyes are focused on the blue sky now. "You know why."

"Singing was your guy's thing. It didn't have to stop being your thing once he died." She says, coming to lay down next to me. "It wasn't singing's fault your dad died."

"I know," I murmur, grabbing her hand. "But it feels too close to it. We were at a singing competition when I was grabbed. My dad was singing before he saw me. It was our thing Jessie, I don't want to start again."

"But you sing when you're alone." She reasons, squeezing my hand.

"No one can get hurt when I'm alone." I tell her back.

"You're right, but you can." My best friend gives me a pointed look, one I respond sheepishly. I did used to have a bad habit of getting no sleep, then sleeping here and that's not good for anyone. 

"Who has time to worry about little 'ol me?" I ask, giggling slightly. "I'm okay now Jessie, I promise."

"If you're okay now why did you get so worked up when we talked to you?" She asks. "You looked so afraid that it came back, smacked you and made you a asshole."

I laugh at this, dropping her hand so I can sit up and cross my legs while resting against the grave. "I am terrified. I don't want to lose him -he was, he was barely ready for a relationship but love? I don't think that's what he wants. Being able to find someone I click with so naturally is the best thing I've had in a while."

"Why's that a bad thing?" 

"It's not it's just -I feel like me and him have been best friends forever. That we've known each other our whole lives. When I hug him after a long day, I swear it feels like coming home after a year at war. I am so comfortable with him that it scares me." I gulp, his blue eyes and hell fire dancing behind my eyes. "You said it once to me, that he's my one. And I begin to think about all those things, maybe that's what a soulmate is Jessie. Not someone who shares every single thing with you, or likes every thing, or even loves you, but the one that feels like home."

"Is he your soulmate?" Jessie squeals at the thought.

"He's my home, but I don't know if I'm his. I don't know what he gets out of this relationship, it's not like I've helped him overcome some big feat, or saved him in anyway. I feel useless Jess, but I love him so much." I groan. "But I just keep fucking up."

"I don't think you fucked up Emma, I think you just need time and need to love that he loves you as much as you love him." Jessie says, grinning up at me. "And bestie?"

I hum in reply.

"I think your love is exactly what he wants."

"Yeah?" I ask, looking for a honest answer when her smile grows.

"Yeah." She confirms. "Maybe, he would like to hear about it in a song."

"You really want me to overcome this, don't you?" 

Her features turn sincere as she rests a hand on my arm, "More than anything Em, I want you to be happy."

"He makes me happy."

"Then we're keeping him." She declares, I burst of giggling. 

"He's not a animal...okay, you got me there. But wolf's aren't supposed to be pets anyway, you can't just declare that." I say incredulously. 

"I just did." She sings, instantly back to her bright and bubbly self.

I grin and think maybe, just maybe, he does love me as much as I love him -how much I made him love me, I don't know, but I sure hope it's a lot.