"You've been unhappy because you've desired things that cannot be."
"That's what desire is." The Devil says. "The need for what we can't have. The need for what's readily available is called greed."
- Mike Carey

"These are so good," Julian groans. My lips quirk up, awed at how he can find my pancakes so good after having them so many times. "So good."

Xavier smirks, alerts go off in my head.

Not for me, I'm safe with him.

But for one of my best friends.

The very one that I happen to know annoys the everlasting out the Devil. 

"Do you always moan when you eat?" The wolf boy asks, Julian instantly splutters and starts choking on his food.

His sister slyly grins into her coffee, Cal just smiles like normal but Xavier full out smirks while I give him a flat glare.

Or I attempt to but I end up staring at him due to how sexy he is in that moment. 

I was right, getting him shirtless in just sweatpants with the hemline of his Calvin Klein underwear showing helped Jessamine as much as it's helping me. She shoots me a thankful look, being able to see both the Angel and Devil's full range of muscles. 

"Why are you staring Emma?" He asks, crossing his arms.

"You almost killed him via inappropriate questioning." I motion to a still red Julian, who is busy chugging his juice. "I'm not staring, I'm glaring."

This is a lie.

He raises a eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Is that so? I'm pretty sure I was just being stared at."

I blink innocently at him. "By who?"

Xavier scowls and realizing he's not getting anywhere with me in this argument drops it. "I hate you." He grumbles.

"You didn't hate me last night." I wink at the Devil.

He gives me a deadly look, but I can only snicker into my hand when I see Jessamine instantly perk up at this. Upon seeing this Xavier's look only turns worse, where as my best friend squeals. 

"Last night, you two-" She shrieks, making it silent as a pin. I raise a eyebrow at her. "That is so fucking cute." Jessie motions between us. "She's so small, but so cute and beautiful and hot and like literally a kitten. And he's well, he's just the sexy Devil. I can't believe this! Do you know how it feels to see you guys together?" She gushes.

Me and Xavier share a look, he raises a eyebrow before I motion for him to talk.

"We're not...together exactly. Just figuring things out." He explains, voice and features stoic before glancing at me to see if he got it right. I nod, he smirks lightly. It's like this guy doesn't know how to smile.

"Aw," Jessie whines. "But you had my hopes up. Whatever, it will happen eventually. You guys did sleep together though?"

"Yep," I say, popping the 'p' as I admit it.

It's not like I'm ashamed of it and I refuse to let a subject like this embarrass me. 

"Are you exclusively figuring things out?" Julian asks, his eyes trained on Xavier. He knows how much of a player he is. 

"Uh...." I trail off, looking at the Devil. He just raises a eyebrow at me, the message clear in his blue eyes. What do I want? "It's up to him." I decide, putting Xavier on the spot -which he shoots me a glare for. 

Jessamine squeals, clamping her hand over her mouth a second later. "Sorry, that's just so cute." 

"Babe, give them a break." Cal, always the Angel, suggests. 

I look back to the tall guy beside me, his fists are clenched into his sweatpants as he spaces out -seemingly trying to answer the tension.

"Well he's the Devil," Julian, unaware of Xavier's sudden tension, reasons. "He could be like most guys your age. The 'Only I can have her but anyone can have me' types." Instantly I'm frowning, about to protest his conclusion when the idiot continues. "I mean we all know he's the type of guy that would use her."

I think we're all offended by this, but I can imagine him saying something like that to Xavier could really hurt him.

I know it hurts me, that he thinks I'd let him use me like that.

"You," Xavier growls, pointing a shaking finger at Julian. "Have exactly three seconds before I break something. As in bones." 

Upon hearing this I realize this Devil thing might affect him more then I would have thought. 

"Dude," Calum says, stepping between them. "Calm down. I'm sure he really doesn't think that." 

"It was basic assumption," Julian squawks, shrinking back into his chair. "Based off what I've heard of you. I'm like super wrong aren't I?" We all nod, except Xavier who is glaring holes into his head. I motion for him to run, he quickly scrambles off his stool- -his plate of pancakes still in hand- -and a moment later we hear his door rattle shut.

"Why does everyone think..." Xavier cuts himself off, throwing his head up to the ceiling as he takes a deep breath. "God dammit, I might be violent but I'm not some pervert who can't keep his hands off someone. I've never done anything without consent! From all the rumors about me there's not a single fucking one that involves me using someone like that. Especially someone like her."

Seeing how angry he is Jessamine shrinks back into her boyfriends side, which only adds onto Xavier's hurt and anger. 

"She's not afraid of you," Cal says. "Unless she's the one who's mad she doesn't take anger well. She's not afraid of you." 

Xavier exhales slowly, eyes wondering to me as if I would be the one that's afraid of him.

My head is cocked to the side, trying to figure out why he reacted this way.

He is called the Devil, so he's used to these things. I've seen him ignore much worse than this, so I don't have a clue why he's upset now -or at least showing it now. 

His hands are reaching towards me before he retracts them, taking a silent breath before shaking his head slightly at my confused expression. I must have looked pretty blank while in thought. Xavier thinks I don't want to touch him. 

Cal notices this, being his best friend of course. 

I squeak loudly when his hands clamp around my waist, effortlessly lifting me in the air. My hands grab his forearms for support while my bend slightly to keep me straight. "What the-"

"Zay," The Angel calls his best friend. He twists around, catching my panicked gaze and quickly tenses up. "Catch."

"Wait don't throw her!" Jessamine shouts, but it's too late as a sharp cry leaves me as my body plummets to the ground. 

My eyes squeeze shut as my body shakes in relief as warm arms encase me, holding me against a even warmer chest and partly over his shoulder. Wrapping my arms around his neck I bury my head under his chin, suddenly aware of his ragged and furious pulse. 

"Calum she's afraid of heights." Jessie says quietly, Xavier tightens his grip on me. His hands clutch my hip and under my thighs. "What was the point of that?"

"If she didn't want him touching her she definitely wouldn't be clinging to him like that when she was afraid. She'd be on the floor freaking out." Cal explains. 

"A-angel?" I scoff with a stutter. "More l-like asshole." 

"I'm sorry about that Emma, I didn't know you would be scared by that. I was aiming for startled. Are you okay?" Calum apologizes. 

I nod, but stay rooted to my spot. 

"If you ever do that again," Xavier's voice is cold, deadly. I'm the look on his face is feral. "I seriously will punch you and I won't hold back." Warmth floods me as he grips me tighter, his fingers pressing into my bare skin where his scrunched up shirt fails to meet my pants. 

Jessamine giggles lightly, "If you're not going to ask her out why are you so protective over her? And I know you're not what my idiot brother described. But seriously? You both like each other, that much is obvious. Give it a go."

"Jessie," Cal warns, knowing something we both don't.

I finally calm down completely and pull my head away from his neck, I can see past the indifferent facade he has up. 

Purely on instinct I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and the other cups his cheek as I connect our lips. He doesn't hesitate to kiss me back, instead of putting me back on my feet he sits me on the counter before pulling away. "Thanks," He whispers.

"Anytime." I say, my face heating up at the look he gives me. 

Suddenly a loud yelp rings out and then a girlish squeal, I frown as I look to a perfectly fine Jessie. It's then I realize it came from behind me and is most likely the most feminine one in the house: Julian.

"You okay bro?" I shout, waiting for a reply as I hear something else crash.

"Yeah," He shouts back, in a obviously fake I'm-okay voice. "Just tripped."

Me and Jessie share a look, knowing it's more than that. I hear him mumble under his breath and hop down, both me and my best friend instantly take off towards her room.

I know why that crash sounded so familiar.

It's the sound her books make when they fall onto the floor when she misses jumping to grab her candy box.

He's in her room stealing chocolate.

That little shit.

I make it first, swinging the door open only to have Julian barge straight into me.

Stumbling my back connects painfully into the wall, winding me. Xavier is in front of me in a second, hunching down slightly to look me in the eyes. I nod at him, telling him I'm okay.

His hands grab my lower ribs, pressing me into him as loud curses come from the Thatch siblings.

They roll around the floor, until Julian somehow manages to pin his sister. Seeing my best friend's struggles I roll my eyes before darting out of Xavier's hold, coming up behind him.

Grabbing one of his wrist I quickly knee his shoulder as I bring it behind his back and twist. In a second he's yelping in pain while I pin him to the ground, me on his back. Julian's face is mushed into her plush carpet, making him cough. 

"That was hot," Jessamine giggles, and being bisexual she has a right to voice such thoughts -though I know she's completely devoted to her boyfriend.

"I agree." Xavier says, smirking once again. 

"Gwet off of mwe Emwa." Julian thrashes around under me but I could care less. "Wai just wanted swome chocowate." I giggle slightly at his muffled two year-old voice.

"Nope, not until you apologize." He instantly starts to grumble under his breath, things I can't hear. "And I'll stay here until you mean it."

Jules lifts his head, straining to do so. "I'm really sorry Devil boy for insulting you, I admit I will never remember your name but I'm not trying to insult you. I honestly don't know you that well but taking one look at Emma can just tell you how many people would use her for her body and I don't want to see her hurt like that again. Now that I see how much that affected both you and her I'm extremely sorry. If you could find it in your heart, and if you don't have one barrow Ems -hers is huge, to forgive me and maybe not be so angry I know we would all appreciate." 

He pauses, letting us all soak in his words. 

"And I have no apology for that monster," He insults his sister, she glares daggers into his head. "She's the one who ate all my frozen yogurt the night I got home."

"Seems fair." I say, then release him and stand. 

Instantly I'm swooped into a chest. Xavier places his hand right over my heart, the beats quickly become erratic. This I'm sure he can feel. "You're forgiven. I am still willing to hurt you, and the only reason I'm not is because she is here." 

"G-good to know." Julian gulps, stepping out of his sisters room.

She suspiciously closes the door behind him, leaving us three trapped in here. Jessie's narrowed eyes make me nervous, I shift in my spot and squeak out when she randomly lunges forward. Xavier instantly blocks me, letting me hide under his arm. 

She pauses inches from us, my eyes are wide as saucers as she examines us before bouncing up and down excitedly. "You guys have to date."

"What?" I ask, not expecting that. 

"You guys have to date," Jessamine repeats, as if it was as simple as that. "Come on, we all see how you guys are. I mean you obviously like one another, you already have sex, he's crazily protective over you and you care about him. That all equals out for a good relationship." Then she eyes his crotch thoughtfully, making me raise a eyebrow. "Unless it was really bad sex or something."

My cheeks flame up as Xavier laughs, clutching onto my waist as the deep sound bounces off the walls. "Shut up," I hiss at him. 

"It was that good?" Squeaks Jessamine. "That you have to laugh at that."

"I'm not laughing." I point out in a mutter.

The Devil, much to my annoyance, moves his hand to squeeze my ass and pull me into him. Even now chest to chest I know he's smirking as I catch my best friends grin from beside us. "Why," He asks in a low voice, making me shiver as his breath fans my neck. "Still sore?"

I huff indignantly and push him away from me, he chuckles as Jessie erupts in giggles. 

"Stop it you guys." I whine, smacking the stupid Wolf boy in the arm. "You guys are so immature." 

"But really good in bed," Xavier wiggles his eyebrows, a wide smirk blow over his face.

"You'd be really good in a body bag too." I grunt. "Preferably dead."

He has the audacity to wink at me, "Kinky." 

This sends my best friend into another round of giggles before she claps her hands, growing suddenly serious. "Okay, first of all I have an idea. Date, be boyfriend and girlfriend and at the end of the week if you don't like it break up and if you do keep going. And second, we have to pick outfits. It's gonna be hot today, and I think we're all sick of you hiding yourself. I miss the old you and you need to move on from guilt and grief. Dressing like that literally only boosts those forward, so we're gonna change that."

"What?" I ask, shrinking away from them both. "B-but-"

"No buts." Jessamine waves a finger at me. "It's time you move on in your life." 

I breath out, realizing she's right. I need to at least attempt to get my life back to normal, or at least my opinion on myself. I can't constantly hate myself or my looks. 

But that doesn't make it hurt any less. 

Warm hands tug me into a large chest, I release a shaky breath before looking up at a expectant Jessie. "Okay, I won't do this," I motion down to me. "Anymore. But I have a proposition for you."

"Shoot," She grins, giddy at the thought of me loving myself like I used to, she picks up her hair brush -she only wants something to do with her hands.

We've been best friends forever.

"Well...I since I turned eighteen two months ago I started thinking. My mom has literally zero legal claim on me, your parents love me and I've been supporting myself since I was sixteen." I say, gulping. "I practically live here anyway, you and Jules and your parents are always questioning me about it. Before I couldn't escape because of my mom but now I can and I was thinking-"

"Oh my god!" Jessamine screams, making me wince. "Yes, yes! Of course you can come-"

"Why do you sound like you're having a fake orgasm?" Julian asks, his head popping into the room. 

The brush flies from her hands before he could move, smacking him dead center in the forehead. He screams in pain, clutching his nose as he slams the door again. 

Me and Xavier stare at each other, clearly asking what the hell just happened.

"You can move in, my parents have been wanting to get you out of that hell hole for years. I'll text them that you finally went for it. Of course you'll get the guest room -it's yours already. When do you want to-"

"Whoa, whoa." I hold up my hands. "Too fast."

"I see what that idiot was talking about when he said fake orgasms," Xavier mutters, and I realize he tends to make sarcastic comments when he's being left out of the situation. Never the less I elbow his side. 

"Still, the faster the better." She shoots the Devil a glare as he snickers. "Your mother will go ape shit if this takes longer then a day. In and out." This time Xavier manages to only smirk into my hair. "I have a idea."

"Shoot." I respond, now interested.

However sudden this is, I am desperate to escape. 

"What if all of us, Angel, Xavier, Jules me and you go over today instead of the carnival and get everything in one go. We can go tomorrow but today we should get your things. Sundays are your mom's free days." I grin at this before realizing something.

"She was clubbing for like three days straight, she might not be at work and if she isn't then she's at home drunk off her ass and mad as hell." I mutter the last part, wishing Xavier wouldn't see me this upset. "What if she hurts one of you guys?"

"We're big kids, we can handle it. Besides if need be we can just have one of the guys lock her in her room." I nod, a small smile taking over my face.

"So we're doing this?" Xavier asks, squeezing my waist. "Together."

I grin up at him, so happy that I steal a kiss on his throat. "Together."

I'm escaping.

I'm getting my life together.

It will be hard.

But so damn worth it.