I'm sure if the Devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him.
-Martha Stout

"Like I said I was eight the first time I ran away from home. My dad was hitting my mom and I bolted, I couldn't see it anymore and she wouldn't do anything about it so I did what I could. I ran." Xavier says, the information surprising me but I agreed to stay silent until he way done. He beside me, us both on the edge of the ledge with our calves and feet hanging in the water. "I didn't know if that was very  stupid or very brave -I knew that running would take the attention off my mom...but it would but it on me instead.

"One thing you have to understand about my father is that he's a sadistic man, he enjoys hurting people. He used to hurt us a lot. It was bad Princess," His voice cracks. "It was really bad. Eventually Mom got pregnant again, I was nine. She had the kid in secret, my dad would have made her get an abortion again but she wanted her baby alive. He was furious when he came home, I had to lock myself in the bathroom with the baby while he took it out on my mom."

I clench my hands into my shirt, looking straight into the water as I will the sting in my eyes to go away, will myself not to react like I want to and throw myself on him.

I know this story is far from over. 

"Skip to three years later. My little sister, her name's Olivia. I called her Ollie. She was four now, I was going on thirteen. I was her favorite person." Xavier's voice wavers, as if he's stopping himself from crying. "And she's preschool and everything's fine. But then we find out my mom's pregnant, the woman at the clinic called...but my dad answered the phone. He was enraged, talking about how this whole family is a waste of air. Which I know now is absolute bullshit. He stuffed us all in his POS car and started driving like a maniac. I had Ollie in my arms, Mom was in the front seat crying. Dad was screaming, we got over a bridge. I don't think he knew it was a bridge.But he was driving like he didn't know what that word meant, took the turn to fast and sent us tumbling over the edge." 

A gasp comes from me before I can stop myself, and I turn to look at him. His steady blue eyes are focused on the water, watching the fish swim around. 

"I don't remember how I knew what to do, but I did. My dad threw his door open before we even hit the water. Was sucked out, the door slammed shut on impact. He survived, swam across the shore where police arrested him. Witnesses saw the whole thing. Mom got knocked out. I unbuckled me and Ollie, made sure she could breath, rolled the windows down. We waited until the water reached our chins to open our doors. I got her out first, my whole life since she was born was to protect her.

"She couldn't swim at all." I flinch at this. "I had her entire body weight on me, she didn't weigh much but in the water it doesn't take much and I was twelve. Eventually though, somehow, I managed to get her on the land. I told her to stay there, stay there until I come back or a guy in a police uniform got her. I went back under, it was a lake, still water no rushing river water. It was pretty shallow, all things considered. I got back under, my mom was out of air, her 'life support bubbles' as I called them were going everywhere. I managed to pull her out and get her to the surface.

"That didn't matter. She wasn't breathing when we got there, she was blue. I didn't everything, everything I could Princess. Medics arrived and confirmed the death time. Dad was arrested so we went into the system. They tried to keep us together, me and Ollie. But it just didn't work like that. Me and her get to see each other twice a year at Christmas and I get to take her Trick or Treating. She remembers me, she writes to me. But it's not enough." 

I started crying, I don't know when but it was his voice that made me, the story was sad enough but his voice...he sounds so broken.

"She's eight now. I can tell she's not happy and it breaks my heart." I think it just broke my heart too. "I know her foster parents yell at her, and they haven't gotten full custody yet. My nineteenth birthday is in two weeks and I'm trying to get guardianship of her. The parents are all for it. Cal's parents, the Hilton's, adopted me and they're willing to let Ollie live with us. I got all the inheritance, so supporting us won't be a problem when I move out."

My heart swells, realizing how much he cares about his little sister. 

"I could get her out of Michigan, get her here with me. But they won't give me custody, not until there's another person in the picture that can help support her...and me." 

At this I start to think about my trust fund, opened when I was eighteen. My mother wasn't able to touch it, but I didn't give it a second thought. I wanted to kill myself, I didn't care.

But now it's different.

I could be a support, a helping hand. That money is enough to put me through school twice, I could live off that well into my nineties. And I'm responsible.

My family split when I was seven, at my mom's house I raised myself, cleaned everything. I was a mini adult. At my dads I got to be a kid, but that all changed when I was fifteen. 

I don't even need custody, or guardianship...and if I get it I would always step aside and let him make all the decisions. 

I could help him.

Two weeks, that has to be enough time. 

But it would take so much time.

It would be like I disappeared, going to Michigan would take time.

And I wouldn't tell him what I'm doing either. 

I would miss school, two weeks of school to be exact. 

But it would be worth it.

I'm doing this.

"It's why I always ask." Xavier says, startling me from my thoughts.

"What?" I ask, confused. He gives me a weird look before looking away again.

"Why I always ask to touch you," The Devil gulps. "Because of all the shit my dad did to my mom. He never asked, never. And normally I don't ask girls, because they're always okay with it. I can always tell. But with you...I don't know, it just didn't seem right not to ask. You make all my common sense go out the window, all my instincts come up. I don't know how to explain it. I am myself around you in the worse and best ways."

"You're perfect to me," I mutter, looking away just like him. "I don't see how that can be a bad thing. Everything you've been through has made you you. And I-" I clear my throat, the last two words choking me. "I, I will accept you no matter your scars. What your dad did was horrible, I understand when a parent hurts you. Physically and mentally. I understand what it feels like to loose a parent," I lean closer to him, putting my hand on his arm. "And I can understand what happens when you blame yourself for it."

He gulps, finally looking me in the eyes as he covers my hand with his.

And I swear to god, I swear to god while looking the Devil that his blue eyes swallow me whole.

"I understand okay? I understand better then some other and, and there is some I can't understand. I don't have a little sister I need to protect. But I have siblings, I have Jessie and Jules and Cam and Nolan, and they're like family to be so I understand the love. I don't understand what it's like to give myself up for another person, be abused for them." He closes his eyes and I feel myself be torn apart as a tear drops down, staining his cheek. 

At this I can't help myself, my hand wraps around the back of his neck and I pull him down. 

Our lips crash together, he breaths out what I can only describe as relieved as he kisses me back and it's not rushed, or hungry. It's just safe, just me telling him I'm here.

His hands hold my waist gently, despite how they wrap around it completely and fold over one another completely. I move mine up until I can cup his cheeks, wiping away his tears I pull him closer. "I'm sorry..." I tell him between the kiss. "For all you had to go through."

"Would it be too cheesy for me to say it's okay," He pulls away to look me in the eyes again. "Because everything I went through brought me to you?" 

I giggle at this, glad that the tension that killed my body is gone. "I think this once a little cheesiness is okay." 

The Devil grins, and it's feral.

"Good." Xavier says, squeezing my waist tighter. 

Slowly I realize something, and I start frowning as confusion and curiosity fill me. 

"Xavier...what does this have to do with us -or there lack of?" I ask, hope filling me because this time, this time he'll answer me.

He winces, clenching his jaw. "Can I hold you? I just need to know you're here, that you're safe." 

I nod, still frowning.

Why wouldn't I be safe?

Instantly he lifts me up completely, I squeak -only have expected him to drag me on him instead of pick me up and deposit me in his lap. Instead of straddling him like I normally would my legs are tucked under me as I clutch onto his chest. "Surprised, Princess?"

I glare at him, knowing he did that on purpose. "Just explain yourself, Wolf."

He flashes his sharp teeth at me, resembling an actual wolf in the moment -Maybe I should start calling him Demon instead. 

"Like I said, Mike got arrested." I nod, scrunching my nose up at the mention of his father's real name. Naturally I hate the guy and it doesn't help I hate that name too. "But that didn't last long. He got out, but by that time I was already Cal's family and Ollie was with her foster parents. I was almost sixteen, Ollie was seven. And he's been looking for us ever since -well me. Mike thinks I'm the reason he got arrested. He could care less about Olivia, something I'm grateful for. Him and his partner, the guy he let move in. They sold drugs together, his personality was like a twin to my father's.

"And Mike's got arrested three times for showing up at my house and threatening me and my family. Mike wants me back in his custody, because I'm apparently still his child which is bullshit. I call my adoptive parent's Mom and Dad, which they're okay with. My mom started crying the first time I did it, so I thought I did something wrong." He laughs, and I find myself frozen with the sounds. Why does everything about him have to be so sexy? "But she was just happy. Mike has brought guns and knives and he's hit my Dad before. Me and Cal had to pin him down, I've almost killed that bastard when he threatened my Mom and cut her with a knife. The police had to pull me off him, I don't even remember it." His voice fades out. "All I remember is Mike had Mom against him and she wasn't even crying but he cut her and the next ten officers were trying to hold me down."

My eyes widen at this. Ten? My Wolf boy is stronger than I thought.

"They don't hold anything against me, they treat me like their real son. To them there is no difference between me and Cal. We love each other like a real family and I am so okay with that. But Mike threatens everyone I love," The blue in his eyes are hidden by the dilated pupil as he looks at me, the amount of fierce protectiveness and sadness swallow me whole. This time I actually drown, and feel my breath stall. "And I'm not willing to add you onto that list. I don't get close to people for a reason, with you it's so easy to forget. I don't want anything to happen to you, it would kill me if you got hurt because of me."

"But...I wouldn't be hurt because of you. I would be hurt because your sperm donor is a asshole. You can't blame yourself because of his actions. You didn't make him hurt anyone, he does that himself. And I can take care of myself and if I get hurt in the process I'm fine as long as I survive and I always survive." He clenches his jaw, his eyes darkening. "For you, I'm willing to take that risk."

At this Xavier is obviously alarmed and a small growl breaks through his chest, the hands that are around my waist shift to my lower back, pulling me closer to him so my head rests on his collar bone.

"Emma, I'd never -I'd never ask you to do that." The Devil stammers against the skin on my neck. "I'm not going to put you in danger. And I'm dangerous, Mike might try to hurt you and I can't let that happen."

My arms tighten around him as I take a ragged breath, my mind reeling. "I know you wouldn't and you're not dangerous. I trust you, okay? There's no way I'm letting you push us apart, if he's going to do something he's going to do something either way. And I'd rather be with you when that happens than alone. Please, please don't force us to end." I beg him. "I don't want to lose you."

"I don't I want to lose you, I really don't." Xavier says, trying to convince me. "I can't protect you all the time. That would be a loosing battle."

"It's a battle I'm willing to fight. You don't have to protect me, just stay with me and let karma do the rest. Your sperm donor will get what he deserves." I promise him, kissing the exposed skin on his shoulder. "And we'll still be us when that happens."

"But what if he hurts you first." He asks, voice breaking. 

"I will survive but he won't." I grin, "I think this time if he messes with the people you love and irritates the police again he'll fuck up so bad that he won't. Trust me. Please just be with me." 

"I..." Xavier breathes out harshly against my skin. I tense slightly against, knowing that if he really believes me and him won't be okay, that his stupid abusive father would seriously hurt me he wouldn't risk it. If he doesn't think I'd survive, that he could protect me he would say no. "I want you so fucking bad Princess, I could never say no to that."

Before I know it he's kissing me again, a million emotions exploding behind our lips.

Xavier bites my lip teasingly, breath hot against my skin as he answers. "Emma you're worth the battle. Will you please, please be mine?" He asks, my heart instantly goes insane. "You do realize that after all this, you're not aloud to say no."

"Of course." I giggle, brushing my lips against his. "Does this mean I get to call myself your girlfriend?" I ask the Devil.

And he grins.

And it's feral.

"Hell yes," He responds, true to his name, with sharp teeth exposed. 

"And I get to call you my boyfriend?" I ask with another giggle, his breath tickling my skin. 

He gives me a flat look, moving his hands to my hips and pressing his fingers into me. "If you ask me one more question I'm going to bite you again, just like at the carnival." I gulp at this, the spot where he bit me last night starts to throb in response. Not painfully, just to let me know that it will be one hell of a mark if he does it again. "That's what I thought." He says smugly. 

I narrow my eyes at him, shutting him up by kissing the spot under his ear once again.

His muscles flex under me, making me giggle against him.

The Devil groans, making me smirk. "Now you've really done it." I yelp as he turn us over, laying on top of me as he stands in the water now. "Come on," He smirks. "Water time."

Fuck.

I really didn't want to get wet.

And I still need a stronger word then that.