I just realized three people unfollowed me and honestly, same.

<6:55 pm, Saturday>

Tyler had to force Josh to wear something nice when they arrived at Tyler's apartment. "It's my birthday!" He argued, to which Josh replied, "Yeah, we have those sometimes. Fancy clothes isn't going to change that."

Eventually, Patrick overheard them arguing in Tyler's closet and Tyler won with him on his side. Josh gave in and wore a baby blue button down shirt and black slacks, but wore his white converse in retaliation. Not that Tyler minded. He was secretly wearing his black vans with his red button down and black skinny jeans.

They sat outside of the Olive Garden, waiting for their friends to arrive while simultaneously anticipating the buzzing of the restaurant pager.

"It's funny how so much can things change in a span of only a couple months," Tyler said, trying to meet Josh's eyes. He only continued to smoke yet another cigarette. "I mean, when we found each other, we were suicidal. And now-"

"We're suicidal and eating fake Italian food."

Tyler deflated slightly. He knew he couldn't go through with it, not anymore. But Josh. Josh would. Maybe he didn't have anything to live for yet.

"Our plan was to do it before December, remember?" Tyler fiddled with the rubberband on his wrist. "What happened to that?"

Josh shrugged, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke in the opposite direction. "Who knows. But we don't have much to do left."

That's what scared Tyler.

Josh dropped his cigarette and snuffed it under his shoe, but immediately lit another one. "Hey, what about tattoos tonight? To knock one more thing out." The question made Tyler's body go cold.

"Tattoos?"

"Yeah. I mean, you don't need to get one but it's on my bucket list, so."

Despite everything telling him otherwise, Tyler nodded. "O-okay. Tattoos it is."

Josh closed his eyes and leaned back just as the pager started going off. Tyler snatched it and practically sprinted into the Olive Garden.

He handed it to the lady behind the counter and followed her to a large booth in the back of the restaurant. Josh followed behind, silent.

When they sat down across each other, Josh raised an eyebrow and leaned over the table. "You okay, Stanford? You look pale."

Tyler nodded, wringing his hands. "Yeah, it's just, I've been thinking-"

Before he could finish, a head of blonde and pink tackled Tyler in the booth. He yelped, only recognizing her when she punched him in the arm like she used to. Jenna hugged Tyler tightly, already in tears.

"I missed you so much," she cried. "You big idiot, not even a phonecall." Tyler hugged her back, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I missed you too." More than she'll know.

He noticed Debby, Dallon, and a girl he didn't recognize trailing behind. Debby waved, holding the stranger girl's hand. Dallon looked away, hand shoved deep into his pockets.

"Hey," Tyler said once Jenna detached from him and composed herself.

Dallon nodded, and Debby elbowed him in the ribs.

"Speak, you giraffe," she teased.

Dallon rolled his eyes and made eye contact with Tyler since he auditioned for Twenty One Pilots. It didn't last longer than two seconds.

"Happy birthday," he said to the carpet.

Debby rolled her eyes and the girl beside her giggled.

"Oh, this is Rafaela, by the way. My new girlfriend." She waved shyly.

Rafaela was pretty, with pale streaks of pinks mixed with dark brown hair. Her eyes were hazel, and she wore a bright red skater dress with what looked like a pair of black heelies. Definitely Debby's type.

Tyler smiled. "Hi. What happened with Mel?"

Dallon flinched. "I'll tell you later," he said when Debby's face went pale to contradict Rafaela's flushed face now full of rage.

You guys can already see where this is going. Yeah.

Tyler nodded and didn't push the matter, his stomach growling. He motioned for them to sit, and they all crowded around table. Josh, Rafaela, and Dallon on one side and Tyler, Jenna, and Debby on the other. Abigail appeared later, holding bags of birthday presents.

"Of course I would remember your birthday," she chastised Tyler when he asked how she knew. Even he forgot his own birthday. "You're only my brother's best friend in the whole world."

It was the best birthday he'd had in years.

Josh got Tyler a ukulele, a last minute gift from the music shop where he worked, but he loved it all the same. Debby, Rafaela, and Dallon all chipped in to get him a new laptop, which had rockband on it, unlike his other ancient laptop that he hated. Jenna got him two tickets to a music festival in February, telling Tyler to take his new lover with him.

His eyes obviously shifted to Josh, who didn't catch his eye as he was staring out a window. No one noticed but Jenna, who winked and nudged him.

They brought cupcakes, not the shitty Kroger kind that Tyler got for his twentieth birthday, but actual bakery quality ones. Tyler chatted with others, smiling more in that hour than he had since he thought he lost Josh.

Sadly, they finished their food quickly for so much talking going on. Jenna and Dallon split the check since Debby and Rafaela bought the cupcakes, Abigail paid for the cake, and Josh lost his wallet the week before.

"So, where to now, birthday boy?" Abigail asked, raising an eyebrow. It had started to snow outside, so Tyler pulled his jacket closer to his body.

He looked over at Josh, who was playing a game on his phone. Debby smacked him over the head. Tyler swallowed, knowing he was going to regret this.

"Um-"

"We were thinking about getting tattoos, actually." Tyler's eyes shot to Josh.

The others looked at Tyler expectantly. They were waiting for him to confirm.

"Y-yeah," he cringed at his stutter. "I mean, if you guys don't want to get one that's fine. Josh and I have been planning on getting tattoos for a while and since we both forgot it was my birthday, I thought it'd be a good time. But, I mean, you guys don't have to come. We can go to-"

"Tyler." Jenna planted both of her hands on his shoulders. She could always tell when he was stalling, and when he began too nervous to do anything else but talk. His mouth always worked faster that his mind.

Tyler stared at Jenna, hoping not to give anything away with his eyes. But he wanted to. He wanted to plead to her to help him save Josh, to make sure he lives long enough for him to tell him he cares about him.

Except he didn't, and she let go. Her eyes flickered between him and Josh for a moment, worried, and Tyler looked away so he didn't blurt something out that he might regret.

Josh was still looking down at his phone, but Tyler could see a small smile form on his lips as the group started walking back to their respective cars.

Tyler had the familiar sinking feeling he had when Josh's car flipped during their senior year. They only had two things left. Get tattoos, complete their city escapade and-

He accidentally slammed the door to Josh's car as the thought crossed his mind. Josh jumped, laughing and staring.

"You okay, man?"

Tyler nodded, but he couldn't speak. A lump had formed in this throat and he knew is he spoke, his voice would betray him. He fumbled with the seatbelt, thinking of the night before.

As if reading his mind, Josh leaned over and grabbing Tyler's chin to turn his head. He kissed him softly, slowly, not like the night before. When he moved away, Tyler grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close, kissing him again. And again, and again, until Josh pushed him gently away.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Josh asked. Tyler was shaking and gripping Josh with white knuckles.

He shook his head. "I can't do this."

Josh blinked, startled, but fringed ignorance. "It's just a tattoo, Tyler. You know you don't have to get one if you don't want to." He started the car, but Tyler grabbed his hand.

"No." His voice dripped with fear. "I can't do this. This..." He dropped his voice. "I don't want to die."

Josh's expression turned cold. He clenched his jaw and shook Tyler's hand away.

"You promised not to back out. You promised that you wouldn't leave me alone." Josh's word broke at the end, hurting Tyler's heart.

He didn't know how to respond, so he opted for staring ahead as Josh shifted into gear and followed Debby's car downtown. Neither of them said a word to each other for the rest of the night.