Chapter Fifteen: Oh My Lord

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So, have any of you ever had an off day? And not like an off day where everything that can go wrong does, but more like you try to do the things you're good at, and just end up failing miserably? That was what today was like, except I didn't fail. I didn't succeed either, but that's not the point.

I had a game plan now. Find this Triton, and see what his deal is. If it corresponds with my deal, then we need to make a deal. Otherwise, I gotta make other deals, and that just won't deal.

Which goes to the next tricky part in this whole ordeal--where I went to to find out what I could: the local government center. Though, me being a total asswipe, had to make things difficult.

"Maybe I should start the talking this time," Halina said as we walked up to the information center. "I don't think you'll get that far."

"Oh please, they love me down here." The glass door opened with ease, possibly with too much ease. The building was empty. Just a few people sitting in some chairs. Otherwise, the people working the desks were looking bored and tired. Fair enough, but I suppose they could be worse off. Dead, perhaps. "I'm a celebrity."

"You're annoying."

"Same thing right?"

"Not to humans."

"Well, that's where you falter, and we don't," I said with a smile. Humans. Gotta love their ability to be imprinted. It's so sad, truly it is. I've seen ducks that latch on to mothers with less love than you humans to your famous peoples and bullshit capitalism.

Literally pathetic.

"Don't come at me with your observations. What do you know?" She got behind a counter, waiting for the magi to finish up her work. Ah, I love the speed of an office. Riveting. "The humans have done pretty well for themselves."

"The necromancers said the same, at one point." Though, to be fair, I actually don't know if that's true. Probably. Problem with being the last. Kinda miss the parts where shit happens. "And look what happened."

Halina cleared her throat when the woman finally got done typing. "Hi there, we were hoping you could help us with something."

"Yes, I sure can," the magi replied. Not that enthusiastic, but good enough I guess. "How can I be of service?"

"We were hoping you could tell us about Trition," Halina said. I adjusted my sunglasses, looking around carefully. My fingers itched. Being here a week, and I haven't killed anyone. Good. Means they can't lock me up. But I really want to kill some magi. Just to let out steam.

At the name Triton, the magi looked at the two of us with wide eyes. "Why do you need to know about him?"

"We're new heroes from Earth. We want to take our chances hunting him," Halina said. Oh, that's clever. "We just need to know where he might be located, or where to find his recruits."

"Well, I don't know where he is specifically," she said. "It's rumored that he's in Grav'po. But there hasn't been any real evidence of that." Now she looked around, getting real quiet. "It's also said that he has agents in many cities. Including this one. In some of the sketchy parts. But I want nothing to do with that. If you're heroes, good luck to you. Trtion though has plenty of manpower, and hasn't been afraid to show it off."

"Ah. Thank you, that definitely helped us greatly." Halina nodded, then we were both leaving. Kal'en was bustling, filigree vehicles speeding on by with silent buzz and evil smile. Halina looked at me. "So, where is a dark part of this city?"

"Not super sure. I'd think more in the richer sections, but that won't fly. So we might have to try in the markets. Or bars. I guess the more run down parts of the city too, though I have my doubts there."

"Why's that?"

"Because the magi are elitists. And as of right now, I don't know who Triton is. An elitist won't go to the poor sections."

"Depressing."

"Such is life."

Halina scoffed. "Don't make me weep. Heck, I'm starting to sound like you."

"And that's when you know nothing and everything." I started to take us where I knew the markets were at. Pipes of steaming magic wrapped around the copper buildings, shining with color and displeasure. Oh, is that even a color? I guess that might be more of a money green, or human blush. Ha! I make myself laugh.

The markets were filled with magi, and the magic wanted to make me puke. Magi were showing off their skills, selling their wares, being arrogant. I pushed past a group, trying to go by fast enough before anyone caught wind of my scent. A few heads turned, but no one said anything.

"What are you trying to find?" asked Halina.

"The last time I was here I spent some time at a brothel. The man who runs it might know something. He's kind of a running source of flowing information here, for at least small things."

"Eh. A brothel?" Halina blinked. "Didn't know you were into that."

"I'm into everything," I said without care. Not all can be pure. I gotta have some fun too you know. Where else would I be then?

"I thought the magi were elitists. Why have brothels?"

"Because sex surrpasses all hierarchy. An ancient rule. The necromancers of old used to have the finest brothels in all the land. We were once kings. Now look at me."

"Are you still not a king?"

I spat. "Thanks for reminding me. Do you like making me feel bad?"

"If only to find joy," she said. She paused, then steered over to a stand where a man was selling jewels. She gasped. "Oh, this is pretty. I bet Nicki would love this. Don't you think?"

I came over, ignoring the magi who was saying stuff that I didn't care for. The jewel was a ring, a dark red ruby imbedded deep within a diamond set. Like fire set in pure happiness. I took it from her for a moment. "I suppose. It has trace amounts of magic set within, as though it was cursed at one point. Possibly from elder times, where all got what they desired."

"No, that ring is a pure diamond-ruby ring, no magic at all," said the vendor. I gave him a once over. Fucking middle-aged fool. Acting as though I'm stupid. "Would you like that?"

I stared at Halina. "I'd say no to this one. Too much curse. Maybe that nice ring there, with the garnet and pearl set."

"Really, you think so?"

"No."

What? I'm still rather lacking in the whole 'love department'. What the hell do I know about this bullshit? Humans, your need for affection is so......needy. Or is that a cry for help?

Why am I still on this subject?

"Whatever. I'll take them both," I said, then handing the vendor a shitton of money. He looked rather pleased. He won't be when he finds out that money will be useless if I fail in my mission. We went on, and I put the ring on. Huh, kinda looked nice, along with the black-heart that Jamie gave me.

There I go again, being sad and weak. I clutched the heart. I ask, what can one lone man do? Never doubt the truth? I hope that's all there is to it.

Halina grimaced. "Damnit, don't go soft on me, you old beast."

    "Forget said notions, you silly girl. I have no choice in any matter." I turned a corner. "And where is this beast that you speak of?"

    "Somewhere far down, waiting for a moment of peace."

    That got a laugh from me.

    The thing about Kal'en and most magi cities are that they are beautiful. Nothing is out of place. The golden copper buildings are polished like the sun. The magic pipes go hand in hand with every structure. The birds that fly above are perfect. The rats that roam the sewers are clean and nice.

    Which makes a brothel a place of deceit.

    Brad's Lovers looked as good as any rich and pampered spot. Small, almost rectangular, the building gave off a sense of oozing enjoyment and a deep, near-tolerable sense of justice. Of course, your small mind is wondering what justice?

    Let's find out shall we.

    I knocked, which is never a good sign. The door opened, and the guard standing there looked down upon us. "You got an appointment?"

    "No. But I'd like to see Brad. Name's Ditto Night. He knows me."

    The magi grunted, as though he thought me to be drunk. "Sure. Whatever you say."

    The door closed, and Halina put her hands on hips. "That didn't seem like it'd help."

    "Sure it will. And if it doesn't, we get in by force."

    The door once again opened, and there stood Brad. A magi who enjoyed the more......fashionable side of the city. His long white wig had nothing on his bright blue coat and ten pounds of necklaces. The guard was beside him, but Brad smiled.

    "Ditto! I'll be damned by High Kam, you really are here. Come in, come in, we so much to catch up on." He pushed the guard. "Don't keep him waiting, let the man in."

    The guard backed up, and we entered into Brad's super gilded out brothel. Any of you see Beauty and the Beast? Well, don't bother thinking about that because there's far more gold and silver gilding than in that movie. The foyer was a huge, shiny space with cushioned long couches housing men of all sizes. A fountain of champagne sat in the middle of it all, with cups decorating it.

    Brad pranced to the middle of the room, under the watchful eyes of his men. He gathered three cups, filling each to the brim with the bubbly drink. "So tell me, you handsome fool you, why have you come to the Lord of Lovers?"

    I accepted his gift with ease. "I need some information. Something that I'm sure you can help with."

    Halina smacked away a hand of a magi. "Uh, is this an all male brothel?"

    "Yeah," I said. "Why?"

    "Oh, nothing. Nothing."

    "My poor dear, where are my manners." Brad came up to here with a hop. "Would you like a gift, perhaps? On the house? My men are the best, none can deny that."

    "They truly are," I said, removing my sunglasses and winking at one.

    Halina held up her hands. "No, I like women."

    "Suite yourself." Brad clasped my back, leading us to his office. "We must catch up first though, before any business. Had I known you'd be returning here, I'd have gotten a party ready."

    "Ah, such the caregiver. No friend, formalities are fine. As you know, I am a man of low taste."

    "The Man Who Dies for Fun? One of low taste?" He laughed, showing bright teeth. "You nearly burned this place to the ground. I'm surprised the cities law enforcement aren't here now." Brad got out a set of keys, and unlocked another gold filled door. His office was like a forest of expensive filigree. Metallic plants of precious metals grew from the floor, automaton birds of wealth circled over our heads, furniture worth more than my entire life. "I believe that you are being to modest. All of our lovers were so sad to see you leave."

We all sat down in some very soft cushions, and I tried to clear my throat. "As was I. But that was years ago. And I'm here with purpose. One that has me reeling without much sight."

"Oh, pish posh," he said without much humor. He faced Halina. "Listen well human, this man here is one who knows what he wants. The finer the taste, the more he is ready to live. Such is death, after all."

"Thanks Brad, but I'm crunched on time so if we can begin."

The magi crossed his legs, tapping his fingers in rapid succession. "Very well old friend. How can I help?"

"I wish to know where I can find Triton's agents in this city."

"Really now? And why are you trying to find him?"

"Business. I like a challenge," I said sipping on champagne with a newfound lust. The patience of lovers delight. "You wouldn't know where I could start my search, would you?"

Brad let his purple magic, one of emotions and fire, wrap around his arm and into his drink. "Yes, of course. I've heard much about this Triton. He's done a lot the last few years. Though, for information like this, I must unfortunately charge."

"Boo."

"Yes." He flung his arms open. "This comes at a price you know."

"I've notice." I motioned for him to continue. "Then do tell, how much I owe."

"I'd like a spell," he said, leaning close. "One that is illegal by most."

Oh, thank God. Not real currency. I nodded eagerly. "I can do that. What kind of spell?"

"A demon pit spell. One that I can use for customers that I'm.......having trouble with."

I already had paper out, my pen creating the symbol on the front, then the instructions on the back. "So, it's pretty simple. They just need to be bloody when entering the trap. Then you say these words, and it activates. Don't be near it though. Being outside the room is fine. The max that can escape this is arms, so don't try and be real greedy. And there, you're good to go."

He took the notebook paper, laughing to himself. "Beautiful. Always ready to give Ditto. I like that about you."

He clapped his hands, and the door behind us opened. Multiple magi walked through, guards, looking rather mean. Halina stood, fear within. Brad laughed. "Oh Ditto, always ready to give. But I'm always ready to take."

I faced him, and watched as he removed a necklace, the only one tucked underneath his clothes. The Sleeping Witch. Fuck. "You too friend?"

"I wish to be immortal. My partying will never end." He got up, his purple fluctuating with care. "Can't you see all this beauty? It's mine to own for--"

Ever Heart stopped his sentence. I gave the sword one more push through his chest, whispering in his ear, "I am sorry, friend. But the Big Courts are playing now."

He spasmed, blood leaking, but I didn't have time to care. Throwing Halina to the ground, I let black necro-lightning go into Brad's guards. They moved, sending over their own magic.

I raised shields. "Halina, get behind his desk. I got this."

She ran, and I did a quick head count. Five magi. Each with boring magics. How sad. They formed up, two women leading the charge. I reached into my bag and summoned out my blood hand, or 'It That Loves'. The blood glove covered my left hand, and I went to work.

A shit ton of magic assaulted my shields, which I was able to hold for a mere moment. Ugh, these guys were pretty strong. Sucking in a breath, I heard their footsteps get closer. Alright Ditto, you got two water magi, a nature, jewel, and metal magi.

What could go wrong?

Counting to three, I broke the shields and ran at an alarming speed. The woman in charge shot water bullets at me, but I swiped them away with Ever Heart in one quick motion. My blood hand shot out, a tentacle of red punching a hole in her neck. As she flew back, the other woman screamed, releasing a volley of diamonds, taking them from our surroundings.

I jumped, putting sword tip into a man, feeling the impact of diamonds strike my arm. Cursing, I stood up grabbing the closest man by the neck while magic exploded all around me. Frying his face with necro-lightning, I spun letting his body take the brute force of the three remaining magi.

Fuck, this mother fucker was heavy. Charging myself, I saw the jewel woman flank me. Her face was withered with pain. Oh, I guess I killed a loved one. Sensing her magic and a storm of metal to my left, I dropped.

The two attacks clashed and ripped their users apart. Letting go of the heavy fuck, I threw Ever Heart into the last man, straight threw his neck.

"Ah shit, that's not fun." I got up, breathing heavy. Going and pulling the Immortal Slayer out of the magi, I went and finished off the woman. She was crying, clutching her body full of metal shards. "Nighty night, dumb magi."

Speaking of arms in pain, diamonds now crusted my right arm. I willed my blood glove into that arm, finding each bit, taking them out with care.

"It's alright Halina, you can come out now," I said, pulling out my flask of Feel Good juice. Rolling up the sleeve, I dumped it over the wound, and the sting went away. Luckily diamonds make clean cuts. Though now this jacket had holes in it.

Halina appeared, getting close but not that close. "Um, that was eventful."

"Sure was." Getting out a healing salve, I then  rubbed some of that good shit on there. That should heal the tissue faster. "Of course, this means I need to do some extra work to get what we want."

"Aren't you upset that your friend betrayed you?" she asked, joining me as I went back to Brad's body. I suppose this room might be sound proof, but if his loyal men come barreling in, hopefully they won't feel the need to kill me. "You seemed to like him."

I shrugged. "A rule I constantly keep in the back of my mind is betrayal is always an option. Someone can do it at any point. I can do it at any point. So, I mean, yeah."

Using some magic, I raised his body, bringing back his mind to the very brink of reality and death. Halina though didn't seem satisfied. "And that justifies you killing him?"

"Not really. But why do I care?"

Zombie Brad spat, and I tightened my magic grip. "Brad, where can I find some of Triton's rebels?"

"In the south side of the city. At the inn Blue Keeper. They have a small base there."

"Thanks dude," I released him back to death. "See you later."

"He was your friend. Where's the emotion," Halina went on as I quietly opened the door to leave. It seemed that none were coming this way, so we left not looking suspicious at all. "This can't be all there is in you."

"Well, when someone dies that's worth me shedding a tear, I'll do so," I responded with a bit of an edge. "Brad was a good man. We had fun together. Made good love together. But that was years ago. Besides, I learned something important from this encounter, more important than where the rebels are."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"That those with lesser titles who matter are finally joining the cause. And I'm afraid that we just witnessed the death of one." I lifted up a hand, thanking a magi as we crossed the street. "For those who walk a path of little return but full of juvenile thoughts, what is the outcome Halina?"

"One of utter torture and not being able to move forward?"

I smiled. "We find a place for ourselves Halina, on a path drowning in sorrow. Remember that for the next few weeks. Because in the end, those who cross me are now walking corpses, and I swing the sword to better our escape."