How the Palms and Handshakes are used to control  

 In ancient times, open palms were used to show
that no weapons were being concealed  

 It was Adam's first day on the job with his new PR company and he wanted to make a good impression on everyone. As he was introduced to colleague after colleague, he shook their hands enthusiastically and gave everyone a broad smile. Adam stood 6 foot 3 inches (1.9m) tall and was good looking, well dressed and certainly looked like a successful PR man. He always gave a firm handshake, just the way his father had taught him when he was young. So firm in fact, that it drew blood on the ring fingers of two female colleagues and left several others feeling injured. Other men competed with Adam's handshake — that's what men do. The women, however, suffered in silence and soon were whispering, 'Stay away from that new guy Adam — he's a bruiser!' The men never brought it up - but the women simply avoided Adam. And half the firm's bosses were women.  

 Here's a handy thought — whether you are heavy-handed or high-handed, engage in sleight-of-hand to avoid a hand tomouth existence, you might have to show your hand sometimes to gain the upper hand. Don't get caught redhanded, or try to wash your hands of a mistake, because if you bite the hand that feeds you, things could get out of hand. 

 The hands have been the most important tools in human evolution and there are more connections between the brain and the hands than between any other body parts. Few people ever consider how their hands behave or the way they shake hands when they meet someone. Yet those first five to seven pumps establish whether dominance, submission or power plays will take place. Throughout history, the open palm has been associated with truth, honesty, allegiance and submission. Many oaths are still taken with the palm of the hand over the heart, and the palm is held in the air when somebody is giving evidence in a court of law; the Bible is held in the left hand and the right palm held up for the members of the court to view. One of the most valuable clues to discovering whether someone is being open and honest - or not - is to watch for palm displays. Just as a dog will expose its throat to show submission or surrender to the victor, humans use their palms to display in a similar way to show that they are unarmed and therefore not a threat.  

 Submissive dogs reveal their throats.

Humans show their palms . 

 How to Detect Openness

When people want to be open or honest, they will often hold one or both palms out to the other person and say something like, 'I didn't do it!', 'I'm sorry if I upset you' or 'I'm telling you the truth'. When someone begins to open up or be truthful, they will likely expose all or part of their palms to the other person. Like most body language signals, this is a completely unconscious gesture, one that gives you an 'intuitive' feeling or hunch that the other person is telling the truth.  

 'Trust me - I'm a doctor'  

 The palms are intentionally used everywhere
to infer an open, honest approach  

 When children are lying or concealing something, they'll often hide their palms behind the back. Similarly, a man who wants to conceal his whereabouts after a night out with the boys might hide his palms in his pockets, or in an arms-crossed position, when he tries to explain to his partner where he was. However, the hidden palms may give her an intuitive feeling that he is not telling the truth. A woman who is trying to hide something will try to avoid the subject or talk about a range of unrelated topics while doing various other activities at the same time.  

 When men lie their body language can be obvious.

Women prefer to look busy as they lie  

 Salespeople are taught to watch for a customer's exposed palms when he gives reasons or objections about why he can't buy a product, because when someone is giving valid reasons, they usually show their palms. When people are being open in explaining their reasons they use their hands and flash their
palms whereas someone who isn't telling the truth is likely to give the same verbal responses but conceal their hands.  

 Keeping their hands in their pockets is a favourite ploy of men who don't want to participate in a conversation. The palms were originally like the vocal cords of body language because they did more 'talking' than any other body part and putting them away was like keeping one's mouth shut.

 Intentional Use of the Palms to Deceive

Some people ask, 'If I tell a lie and keep my palms visible, will people be more likely to believe me?' The answer is yes - and no. If you tell an outright lie with your palms exposed, you might still appear insincere to your listeners because many of the other gestures that should also be visible when displaying honesty are absent and the negative gestures used during lying will appear and will be incongruent with the open palms. Con artists and professional liars are people who have developed the special art of making their non-verbal signals complement their verbal lies. The more effectively the professional con artist can use the body language of honesty when telling a lie, the better he is at his job.  

 Will you still love me when I'm old and grey?' she asked, palms

visible.'Not only will I love you,' he replied, 'I'll write to you.  

 The Law of Cause and Effect

It's possible, however, to appear more open and credible by practising open palm gestures when communicating with others. Interestingly, as the open palm gestures become habitual, the tendency to tell untruths diminishes. Most people find it difficult to lie with their palms exposed because of the law of cause and effect. If a person is being open they'll expose their palms, but just having their palms exposed makes it difficult for the person to tell a convincing lie. This is because gestures and emotions are directly linked to each other. If you reel defensive, for example, you're likely to cross your arms across your chest. But if you simply cross your arms you'll begin to experience defensive feelings. And if you are talking with your palms exposed it puts even more pressure on the other person to be truthful too. In other words, open palms can help to suppress some of the false information others may tell and encourage them to be more open with you.

 Palm Power
One of the least noticed, but most powerful, body signals is given by the human palm when giving someone directions or commands and in handshaking. When used in a certain way, Palm Power invests its user with the power of silent authority. 

There are three main palm command gestures: the Palm-Up position, the Palm-Down position and the Palm-Closed- i Finger-Pointed position. The differences of the three positions are shown in this example: let's say that you ask someone to pick up something and carry it to another location. We'll assume that you use the same tone of voice, the same words and facial expressions in each example, and that you change only the position of your palm.  

 The palm facing up is used as a submissive, non-threatening gesture, reminiscent of the pleading gesture of a street beggar and, from an evolutionary perspective, shows the person holds no weapons. The person being asked to move the item will not feel they are being pressured into it and are unlikely to feel threatened by your request. If you want someone to talk you can use the Palm-Up as a 'handover' gesture to let them know you expect them to talk and that you're ready to listen.

The Palm-Up gesture became modified over the centuries and gestures like the Single-Palm-Raised-in-the-Air, the Palm-Over-the-Heart and many other variations developed.   

 When the palm is turned to face downwards, you will project immediate authority. The other person will sense that you've given them an order to move the item and may begin to feel antagonistic towards you, depending on your relationship with him or the position you have with him in a work environment.  

 Turning your palm from facing

upwards to facing downwards completelyalters how others perceive you  

 For example, if the other person was someone of equal status, he might resist a Palm-Down request and would be more likely to comply if you'd used the Palm-Up position. If the person is your subordinate, the Palm-Down gesture is seen as acceptable because you have the authority to use it. 

The Nazi salute had the palm facing directly down and was the symbol of power and tyranny during the Third Reich. If Adolf Hitler had used his salute in the Palm-Up position no one would have taken him seriously - they would have laughed.  

 Adolf Hitler using one of history's most notable Palm-Down signals  

 When couples walk hand-in-hand the dominant partner, often the man, walks slightly in front with his hand in the above position, palm facing backwards while she has her palm facing forward. This simple little position immediately reveals to an observer who wears the loincloths in that family. 

The Palm-Closed-Finger-Pointed is a fist where the pointed finger is used like a symbolic club with which the speaker figuratively beats his listeners into submission. Subconsciously, it evokes negative feelings in others because it precedes a right over-arm blow, a primal move most primates use in a physical attack.  

 The Palm-Closed-Finger-Pointed gesture is one of the most annoying gestures anyone can use while speaking, particularly when it beats time to the speaker's words. In some countries such as Malaysia and the Philippines, finger pointing at a person is an insult as this gesture is only used to point at animals. Malaysians will use their thumb to point to people or to give directions.  

 Our Audience Experiment

We conducted an experiment with eight lecturers who were asked to use each of these three hand gestures during a series of ten-minute talks to a range of audiences and we later recorded the attitudes of the participants to each lecturer. We found that the lecturers who mostly used the Palm-Up position received 84% positive testimonials from their participants, which dropped to 52% when they delivered exactly the same presentation to another audience using mainly the Palm-Down position. The Finger-Pointed position recorded only 28% positive response and some participants had walked out during the lecture.  

 The pointing finger creates negative feelings in most listeners  

 Finger pointing not only registered the least amount of positive responses from the listeners; they could also recall less of what the speaker had said. If you are a habitual finger-pointer, try practising the palm-up and palm-down positions and you'll find that you can create a more relaxed atmosphere and have a more positive effect on others. Alternatively, if you squeeze your fingers against your thumb to make an 'OK' type of gesture and talk using this position, you'll come across as authoritative, but not aggressive. We taught this gesture to groups of speakers, politicians and business leaders and we measured the audience reactions. The audiences who listened to the speakers who used the fingertip-touch gestures described those speakers as 'thoughtful', 'goal-oriented' and 'focused'.

 Squeezing the thumb against the fingertips avoids intimidating the audience  

 Speakers who used the finger-pointed position were described as 'aggressive', 'belligerent' and 'rude' and recorded the lowest amount of information retention by their audience. When the speaker pointed directly at the audience, the delegates became preoccupied with making personal judgements about the speaker rather than listening to his content.

An Analysis of Handshake Styles

Shaking hands is a relic of our ancient past. Whenever primitive tribes met under friendly conditions, they would hold their arms out with their palms exposed to show that no  weapons were being held or concealed. In Roman times, the practice of carrying a concealed dagger in the sleeve was common so for protection the Romans developed the Lower-Arm-Grasp as a common greeting.  

 The Lower Arm Grasp - checking for concealed weapons — the original Roman method of greeting  

 The modern form of this ancient greeting ritual is the interlocking and shaking of the palms and was originally used in the nineteenth century to seal commercial transactions between men of equal status. It has become widespread only in the last hundred years or so and has always remained in the male domain until recent times. In most Western and European countries today it is performed both on initial greeting and on departure in all business contexts, and increasingly at parties and social events by both women and men.  

 The handshake evolved as a way men could
cement a commercial deal with each other.  

 Even in places such as Japan, where bowing is the traditional greeting, and Thailand, where they greet using the Wai — a gesture that looks similar to praying — the modern handshake is now widely seen. In most places, the hands are normally pumped five to seven times but in some countries, for example Germany, they pump two or three times with an additional hold time equal to an extra two pumps. The French are the biggest glad-handers, shaking on both greeting and departure and spending a considerable time each day shaking hands.

Who Should Reach First?

Although it is a generally accepted custom to shake hands when meeting a person for the first time, there are some circumstances in which it may not be appropriate for you to initiate a handshake. Considering that a handshake is a sign of trust and welcome, it is important to ask yourself several questions before you initiate the hand shake: Am I welcome? Is this person happy to meet me or am I forcing them into it? SalesPeople are taught that if they initiate a handshake with a customer on whom they call unannounced or uninvited, it can Produce a negative result as the buyer may not want to welcome them and feels forced to shake hands. Under these circumstances, salespeople are advised that it is better to wait for the other person to initiate the handshake and, if it is not forthcoming, use a small head-nod as the greeting. In some countries, shaking hands with a woman is still an uncertain practice (for example, in many Muslim countries it would be considered rude to do so; instead a small head-nod is acceptable), but it's now been found that women who initiate a firm handshake are rated — in most places — as more open-minded and make better first impressions.

How Dominance and Control Are Communicated

Considering what has already been said about the impact of the Palm-Up and Palm-Down gestures, let's explore their relevance in handshaking.

In Roman times, two leaders would meet and greet each other with what amounted to a standing version of modern arm wrestling. If one leader was stronger than the other, his hand would finish above the other's hand in what became known as the Upper Hand position.

Let's assume that you have just met someone for the first time and you greet each other with a handshake. One of three basic attitudes is subconsciously transmitted:  

 1. Dominance: 'He is trying to dominate me. I'd better be cautious.'
2. Submission: 'I can dominate this person. He'll do what I want.'
3. Equality: 'I feel comfortable with this person.' 

These attitudes are sent and received without our being aware of them, but they can have an immediate impact on the outcome of any meeting. In the 1970s we documented the effect of these handshake techniques in our business skills classes and taught them as business strategies, which, with a little practice and application, can dramatically influence any face-to-face meeting, as you will see. 

Dominance is transmitted by turning your hand (striped sleeve) so that your palm faces down in the handshake (see below). Your palm doesn't have to face directly down, but is the upper hand and communicates that you want to take control of the encounter.  

 Taking control  

 Our study of 350 successful senior management executives (89% of whom were men) revealed that not only did almost all of the managers initiate the handshake, 88% of males and 31% of females also used the dominant handshake position. Power and control issues are generally less important to women, which probably accounts for why only one in three women attempted the Upper Hand ritual. We also found that some women will give men a soft handshake in some social contexts to imply submissiveness. This is a way of highlighting their femininity or implying that domination of her may be possible. In a business context, however, this approach can be disastrous for a woman because men will give attention to her feminine qualities and not take her seriously. Women who display high femininity in business meetings are not taken seriously by other business women or men, despite the fact that it's now fashionable or politically correct to say everyone is the same. This doesn't mean a woman in business needs to act in a masculine way; she simply needs to avoid signals of femaleness such as soft handshakes, short skirts and high heels if she wants equal credibility.  

 Women who show high feminine signals in

a serious business meeting lose credibility.  

 In 2001, William Chaplin at the University of Alabama conducted a study into handshakes and found that extroverted types use firm handshakes while shy, neurotic personalities don't. Chaplin also found that women who are open to new ideas used firm handshakes. Men used the same handshakes whether they were open to new ideas or not. So it makes good business sense for women to practise firmer handshaking, particularly with men.

The Submissive Handshake

The opposite of the dominant handshake is to offer your hand (striped sleeve) with your palm facing upwards (as below), symbolically giving the other person the upper hand, like a dog exposing its throat to a superior dog.  

 The submissive handshake  

 This can be effective if you want to give the other person control or allow him to feel that he is in charge of the situation if for example, you were making an apology. 

While the palm-up handshake can communicate a submissive attitude, there are sometimes other circumstances to consider. As we have seen, a person with arthritis in their hands will be forced to give you a limp handshake because of their condition and this makes it easy to turn their palm into the submissive position. People who use their hands in their profession, such as surgeons, artists and musicians, may also give a limp handshake, purely to protect their hands. The gesture clusters they use following their handshake will give further clues for your assessment of them - a submissive person will use more submissive gestures and a dominant person will use more assertive gestures.

How to Create Equality

When two dominant people shake hands, a symbolic power struggle takes place as each person attempts to turn the other's palm into the submissive position. The result is a vice-like handshake with both palms remaining in the vertical position and this creates a feeling of equality and mutual respect because neither is prepared to give in to the other.  

 Communicating equality  

 How to Create Rapport

There are two key ingredients for creating rapport in a handshake. First, make sure that yours and the other person's palms are in the vertical position so that no one is dominant or sub! missive. Second, apply the same pressure you receive. This means that if, on a firmness scale of 1-10, your handshake registers a 7 but the other person is only a 5, you'll need to back off 20% in strength. If their grip is a 9 and yours is a 7, you'll need to increase your grip by 20%. If you were meeting a group of ten people, you'd probably need to make several adjustments of angle and intensity to create a feeling of rapport with everyone and to stay on an equal footing with each person. Also keep in mind that the average male hand can exert around twice the power of the average female hand, so allowances must be made for this. Evolution has allowed male hands to exert a grip of up to 100 pounds (45kg) for actions such as tearing, gripping, carrying, throwing and hammering.

Remember that the handshake evolved as a gesture to say hello or goodbye or to seal an agreement so it always needs to be warm, friendly and positive.

How to Disarm a Power Player

The Palm-Down Thrust is reminiscent of the Nazi salute and is the most aggressive of all handshakes because it gives the receiver little chance of establishing an equal relationship. This handshake is typical of the overbearing, dominant person who always initiates it, and their stiff arm with palm facing downwards forces the receiver into the submissive position.