I miss seeing the colors of the rainbow
I always saw them with you.
I miss seeing the red of your Nissan truck
The one that always needed a mechanic
Or the green of the forest
When we sat at the lake with our feet dangling over the dock
And our hearts talked
The earthy brown of the dirt
Where we laid in our tents
And stayed up all night and talked and laughed and smiled
I miss blue.
The first time I saw blue was the first time I looked in your eyes.
The color of the ocean and the sky
Deep, beautiful. you.
Now that you're gone, 
I'll never again see the rainbow.

I will never see blue. 

Colorblind.

August 15, 2013

"Uuuurgmfff," I groan, rolling over in my sleeping bag.

Meredith and I shared a tent last night and my back is reaping the consequences of sleeping with a rock lodged under my spinal cord. 

Meredith, her face immersed in her pillow, looks up at me through tangled black hair and bleary eyes, "It can't be morning."

I nod and answer her, my voice gravelly and low, "It is. Davy just blew his whistle."

I don't want to hate Davy, but that's hard to do when he's so freaking excited about everything. Meredith groans and I struggle to stand, nearly tripping over my sleeping bag and ducking to avoid hitting the canvas roof of the tent.

We spent all of last night sitting around a campfire and getting to know each other. Davy's friendly and talkative enough to fill the awkward silences, and most of us are friendly. Except for me, maybe. It takes me a while to warm up to people.

I struggle out of the tent, brushing a stray curl that is determined to fall down the middle of my forehead, landing on my freckled nose. Jessie and Davy are up and around; they both slept in hammocks over night and look far more rested than I am. Jessie's face is bright and tanned and her cornflower eyes appraise me with a warm smile.

"Morning, Rachel," she murmurs quietly.

"Morning," I answer, squatting a few feet away from her and letting my eyes grow immersed in the fire.

I look around our small camping spot--Meredith and most of the boys are still asleep, but I see Josh a few hundred feet away. He's sitting on a rock and gazing into the valley below him. I'm a little surprised to see him so reflective; in the few short hours we've been together, he has seemed fun and relaxed, not someone given to thoughtfulness, yet he is awake before the sun and deep in thought. For a moment, I watch the outline of his shoulders against the rising sun. Perhaps there is more to him than his winning smile and crystal eyes.

~~~~~

The brochure wasn't joking when it promised team-building. All day, we've been completing ropes-course activities that force us to get up close and personal with each other in ways that I can only describe as intimate. When I can name the flavor of your deodorant, we are way too close. 

We've climbed rock walls, balanced five people on a rolling log, and more. Now we've come to the final activity of the day. Davy and Jessie promise that after this, we can go back to the campfire and make dinner.

Which brings me to now. The five of us are standing on a folded black tarp, and we are still keeping a safe amount of personal space between each other. Our goal is to flip over the four-by-four tarp without anyone stepping onto the ground. We've made a few attempts, but for most of the time, we've been standing here, awkwardly staring at each other.

Jessie coaches us from a few feet away, "You gotta think outside of the box and work together as a team."

Nate suggests, "Everyone crowd to one side, and we'll all jump on my count."

I roll my eyes at the suggestion, but I don't have any better ideas, so we give it a try, huddling as close to each other as we dare. I can feel Josh's breath on the back of my neck and Meredith's elbow in my side. I close my eyes. Don't panic. Being this close to people has never been in my comfort zone.

"One, two...three!" Nate counts.

We jump and I topple into Tyler, knocking him sideways and then falling on my butt, a cloud of dust billowing around me as I land.

I hear a rich laugh and my face turns beet red. Great. Josh is standing above me with a warm, teasing grin on his face. He offers me his hand and I take it after casting him a glare that is supposed to be withering. His hand dwarfs mine and I barely have time to register the calloused skin of his palm before I'm jerked to my feet in one fluid movement. I immediately turn away to hide my face, which is sporting a glowing shade of red.

"What now?" Meredith asks, drawing attention away from my untimely topple.

"I've got an idea," Josh adds with that ever-present grin on his face.

He turns to me, a teasing glare still in his cyan eyes, "Get on my back."

This is the first time he's actually addressed me and I sputter, "Wh...what?"

My eyes lock with his and one dark eyebrow arches. I can hear the challenge in his voice and my stubborn streak threatens to kick in.

Davy encourages from the sidelines, "Give it a try!"

While Meredith jumps on Ty's back, Josh turns his back to me and I rest my hands on his broad shoulders. My heart is hammering, and I order it to shut up.

"Ready?"

I mumble my agreement and press down on his shoulders, jumping up. He catches my legs with ease, and the next thing I know, my arms are wrapped around his neck and my body pressed into his back. He turns his head sideways a little, our faces only a few inches apart.

"See, that wasn't so hard," he murmurs with a grin.

I find myself laughing and relaxing against him. He hefts me a little higher on his back and steps closer to Tyler.

Nate watches us with a half smile on his face, one dimple forming on his cheek, "You're gonna have to get a little closer than that."

Josh and Tyler slide next to each other and Meredith and I hook arms. Carefully, Nate folds half of the tarp, and Josh and Tyler, using each other for balance, step from one side to the other. Nate jumps next to us and we all hoot in excitement.

Davy rushes over and throws an arm over Tyler's shoulder, aggressively shaking him, "See, that wasn't so hard!"

Tyler sidesteps, still carrying Meredith on his back, and that's all it takes for me to lean too far to the right and upset our balance. We all go flying to the ground in a heap of arms and legs. Meredith's head has landed on my stomach, my legs and butt are draped over Josh's torso, and Tyler is face first in the dirt.

Jessie and Nate, still standing, start laughing and like a tidal wave, we all join them. As we struggle to untangle ourselves, I try to ignore Josh's touch as he lifts my legs to the side.

I straighten my clothing and run a hand through the tangle of curls that have escaped my ponytail. A hand rests lightly on my waist and I jump, seeing Josh standing beside me. The teasing light in his eyes still hasn't vanished and he grins at the surprise in my eyes.

"Told you that was a good idea," he murmurs as he leans close to me.

Before I can respond, he releases my waist and walks away, leaving my side still tingling from his touch.

~~~~~

Sooo...what do you think? I like Josh; I can't help it. Unassuming charm is one of my greatest weaknesses.

And more importantly, how red would your face turn if you were Rachel in this scenario? I would probably resemble a particularly ripe tomato ;)

Thanks for reading! Please comment (and vote!) to let me know what you think and stay tuned for another chapter coming soon.

- Hannah