The soil was hard beneath my paws and fallen browned leaves crunched under my feet softly. The air was cold and sharp in my lungs, my nose wet and cold as I tried hard to ignore how uncomfortable it was. Instead, I focused on the path in front of me, leading me back to the pack house after my lengthy time roaming the woods behind it. I needed to get away. I needed time away from all the stares I still received from my pack mates and the invisible rope constricting my heart every time I looked at Osckar. He reminded me of everything I lost but also what I had gained these last couple of months. I loved him, but since the mating bond broke we'd not been the same. The love had been different, less clouded by fate pulling us together.

Truth be told, I did not know how I was feeling. There was a lot to sort through. From the magic that now pulsed out of me uncontrollably like a pup trying to walk, to the shadowed hands of death that clawed at me while I slept. I just wanted to run and forget it all, but I'd learned in the last few weeks that running only delays the pain, and weighs a burden on our souls. I'd find the strength to face it all someday, today was just not that day.

I hesitated a step where the woods ended and the clearing to the pack house started. The moment I stepped over my privacy was over. I had to return back, I'd been gone all day, letting my feet guide me all the way to the end of our territory at a cliff's edge. I'd looked over at the lights below, watching cars on the motorway and imagining where the people were going. All the ordinary people who'd never been subjected to the supernatural. Oh, how I wished just for a moment not to be me. To be an ordinary teenager worried about school and grades. At least, that's what I think the humans worried about.

I'd never really mingled with them. I knew they existed but when packs had their own towns and owned their own shops and schools it was easy to be isolated. We had no reason to be with humans. If anything we'd have to hide who we were even more. That seemed impossible.

Shaking off those thoughts I peered at the pack house ahead. This is where I belonged, with my kind who understood me. Who wouldn't be afraid I turned into a giant wolf that sputtered out magic anytime she felt strong emotions. Well, they didn't understand the magic part. I was working on it.

You're back. Osckars' voice in my mind was gentle as he watched stalk from the woods towards the porch.

I told you I would be. I knew he feared I would leave him without a moment's notice. Even though days before, we'd declared our love for one another. I knew it stemed from the lack of the mating bond, that security of knowing it connected us no matter what. That we could find each other by just searching for each other down the line.

Now we were single beings drifting in the world as if it had never happened.

I know I just – he trailed off.

I know

When I reached him, I pressed my muzzle against his hand in comfort and he stroked me from my head, all the way down my back. He pressed his weight against me as if making sure I was real. He did that at every chance he got.

Do you think your family will stop acting weird around us?

They'd smile timidly or talk in hushed tones whenever we walked into a room. Their tones took on softness as if I'd break if they were too loud around me. Bay had seemed to take on a mothering role with me even though she was two years younger than me. That's what freaked me out the most. She'd practically hated me the first time we'd met and now. It was all a little too much. Roman was protective, making sure everyone gave me a wide berth and cleared my calendar for meeting with anyone who so much as gave me a weird look. Jamie, bless his little heart, brought me snacks that he thought would cheer me up anytime I remotely looked sad.

I appreciated it all, I really did but it felt as if I'd go mad at the next overly kind gesture. I just wanted them to go back to the way they'd been. I loved them for it.

I'll talk to them, and they're your family, too. Don't forget that.

He nudged me.

Yes, they were family, and it felt like they'd been with me all my life.

You're right. Tell them if they don't quit acting so weird, I'll go crazy, then they'll really have something to deal with.

Osckar chuckled, and I tucked it away in the deepest part of my memory, hoping to never forget it.

The next morning, I was in the study, curled up on the armchair with Cordelia behind the desk and a book open in front of her. She'd insisted she remain on pack grounds until I could master at least one aspect of my newly formed magic. Control. The rest of her coven had returned home now the biggest fight of their lives was over. They fulfilled their obligation to my ancestor. Nothing tied them to me or this pack. Their will was their own.

Cordelia on the other hand, I think she needed a new purpose as the realisation of what her spell and plans had cost her. The magic she'd once possessed was but a shadow of what it once was.

"I haven't felt the magic like I did that night." I lied, my chin bobbing up and down as it rested on my forearm. "It's like it was only there for one purpose and that was to kill Elvira."

Cordelia rolled her eyes at me, " Don't be so dramatic. It had always been there, it was just suppressed. Plus there are more reasons for me to keep an eye on you than just training."

I quirked an eyebrow.

She sighed and turned to fully face me, like a mother she clasped her hands and her brows furrowed in concern. "You died."

I flinched at the words, no one had actually said it out loud since that day. It sounded so matter-of-fact and bizarre because I was still here. Flesh and bone.

"I'm aware."

She huffed at my tone, "This is serious, we don't know what the repercussions are. And there are bound to be some."

I thought of the hands clawing at me when I died, even now I could feel them pulling at my skin. Beconing me to join them somehow, I'd escaped and they didn't like it. That was not my family though. My parents who'd come to me at that moment fought for me to return to this world. So I will stay here until it was time.

"And that magic," she continued, "That was more than what I expected you to have. Like off the charts and impossible considering how diluted your bloodline is."

"Gee thanks."

"I didn't mean it that way," she said waving a hand of dismissal. "Calla, this is serious.

I didn't reply, of course, I knew how serious everything was.

"Calla, do you feel anything?"

I knew she was referring to the magic, and in truth I did. I felt it in the earth when I walked as a wolf, I smelt it in the air and the rain. Just never as a human. Only sputters of magic could be felt in this body, like I was just walking around in a shell, counting down the moments until I was a wolf again. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. I wanted to wallow and mourn and be silent.

"No."

Cordelia sighed, "I can't help you if you don't let me."

"I don't want help. Not right now." I said quietly. "I just want to be."

Cordelia mulled over my words. "If that's what you need then so be it."

She searched the desk drawer for something then pulled out a blue and black string bracelet. "Wear this at least. It'll dammer some of your magic until you're ready for help."

I opened my mouth to protest but she held a hand up.

"It's just so you don't hurt anyone by accident. I'm sure you wouldn't want that."

She looked into my eyes imploringly.

"No, I don't." I held out my wrist, and she tied the bracelet around my wrist and with that little sputter of magic I felt silenced.