ASTREIA

"I asked you a question."

Yoko sat on the other side of the fire, watching me through the smoky haze as she waited for my answer. This far up in the mountains, the fire was necessary to avoid freezing to death, but we kept it small for fear of being seen by anyone who might be looking for us. But the pitiful fire and cold air wasn't responsible for the chill between us right now.

"And I told you I don't know."

"Damn it. That's not an answer," she said, thrusting another log into the blaze and sending up a spray of orange sparks. "It's been nearly a month. You're blaming me, but it wasn't even my idea. Why can't you forgive me?"

"No, but you went along with it."

"If I hadn't, you would be bonded to Tievel, and who knows what state our realm would be in?"

"We could have figured something else out. There was still time."

"No, there wasn't, and when he took you into that inn, I promised you I would find a way to stop this. And I found Morana. What else would you call that but fate?"

I picked at the dirt beneath my nails. The perfect manicure that I once kept was long gone, and every single nail was short and jagged. Scrapes and scars marred my skin, some deep enough to expose the ever present light of Vyta in my skin, but none were as painful as the wounds I carried on the inside.

"I don't know what else I can say at this point," Yoko continued. She slapped her thighs and stood. "I'll gather some more wood before we go to sleep."

"Morana was such a pitiful thing when Beatrice brought her to me. Half starved and scarred. They'd brought me others before her. Girls they wished to be my companion, not so I wouldn't be lonely, but so I wouldn't be as bothersome."

Yoko slowly lowered herself back onto the log. This was the most I'd spoken to her since we'd fled the inn. It was foolish of me to blame her for what happened, but if I didn't, then I would have to blame the person truly responsible. Myself.

"I didn't like any of them, and I almost dismissed Morana."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I saw something in her that reminded me of myself. She was a survivor. One who would do whatever it took."

Drawing my silver braids over my shoulders, I worked to untangle them while I searched for the right words to make Yoko understand the broken places inside me that wouldn't seem to heal. They were old wounds ripped open the day Tievel told me Morana had fallen overboard and perished. I thought knowing she was alive might be enough to mend them, but guilt kept them raw.

"I think if we were both asked, we would say we saved one another. It would be true, but as the years passed, I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. I knew enough of the war and what happened in Estrellum to know things were getting bad. That Edresh was spitting lies, but I didn't tell Morana. She needed to believe she was safe. I wanted to protect her."

"You did protect her." Yoko moved, so that we shared the same log, but she didn't touch me. "She grew up with comforts a lot of war orphans didn't get to experience."

"But that's just it. Comfort isn't safety. I-I didn't know what she was then, of course. But I could have opened her eyes to the world enough so she could have learned to defend herself. Maybe she would have even looked at Tievel with a little more discernment. I knew what his grandfather was, and what that might mean he would become one day. If I'd said anything to her, things could be different."

"Oh, my love."

At last she touched me, her hands cool against my flushed cheeks. I leaned into the caress, hungry for her as always. Not even my anger had diminished my desire for her over the last month.

"You don't know that it would have changed anything, or it could have made things worse."

"I know." A hot tear fell, splashing onto her hand. "B-but I think what I hate even more is that I didn't tell her because I was scared. I wasn't brave enough to protect my friend, and now she's either his prisoner or dead."

"Listen to me." Yoko pressed her forehead against mine. "I do not know her as well as you, but I remember the girl in the palace. She was a timid thing, and she loved you enough to overcome her fears–to cast away her worries for her own safety–to save you. Your guilt lessens the beauty of that. Don't take that away from her. Forgive yourself."

"You're right," I admitted.

"I'm always right."

"I wouldn't–"

Her mouth slanted over mine to cut off my argument, and I white knuckled the collar of her shirt to hold her in place. There were so many beautiful things our bodies did together, but kissing was by far my favorite. Yoko had a way of sweeping her tongue along mine that made me burn all over.

"We shouldn't get distracted," she mumbled.

"Why not?"

She pulled away with a regretful smile and pried my hands from her top. I frowned even as reason whispered she was right. But that was the problem, really. The whisper. When it came to Yoko, the loudest voice was always want.

"Tomorrow, I think we should get supplies in Yorkton. It's a small city-state that separates Jorridor from Estrellum."

My frown deepened. "I know where Yorkton is. They were known for their lace work. Mother ordered my dedication gown from a seamstress there, but I thought they destroyed it during the war since it wouldn't renounce Estrellum."

"Much of it was destroyed," Yoko acknowledged, her sea glass eyes turning inward as she looked away. "But they rebuilt it, and it's now an outpost for the Royal Army. They claim it's needed in case Estrellum tries to rise again."

I sucked in a sharp breath. "Then going there is a terrible idea. They'll be on high alert because they're going to suspect we are heading to Estrellum."

"We don't have a choice unless we want to go back down the mountain, get another boat, and sail around Araphel to the western side of Estrellum. It would take at least three months. Three months that I don't think we have."

"Maybe we do. We've not seen any creatures crossing over from other realms since the Banshee."

I'd finally explained what happened the night she almost died. She might have learned to love Morana, but the concept of Deathsingers still terrified her. A corrupt Deathsinger had shaken her more than she wanted to admit.

"I don't think we want to chance that, do you?"

"So what's your plan?"

She sighed and looked back at me. "From what we heard after the inn, the Royal Army passed through and went east, which means they're likely trying to approach Araphel from the peninsula between the Caryn River and the Crystal Sea. They're not concerned about us right now, otherwise, they would have come this way. We would be pinned between Yorkton and the army."

"But I doubt the soldiers at Yorkton haven't been told to watch out for us. Knowing where we're heading is all well and good, but I'm sure King Brinley would much rather know precisely where we are. All tucked aside for when he is ready for us."

"I'm sure he would, but I happen to know someone who is stationed there. Someone who would help us."

I nudged her with my shoulder. "Well, why didn't you lead with that?"

"Because you're not going to like it. She and I used to be, ummm...friendly."

Jealousy curdled in my gut, but I ignored it as I forced a weak smile onto my face. "You think so little of me? I'm not worried about an old flame, especially if she helps us achieve our goal. We have to get into Estrellum. Not only will it be safe there because the land won't let Tievel enter, but we can get to Vyta. I have to relight the portal."

"Good. It's settled then. We should reach it by sunset tomorrow. I'll sneak in on the last bell. She typically takes the night shifts."

She squeezed my hand, and I cleared my throat. "Good. Good. Can I ask why things didn't work out between the two of you? Just because I'm curious why you think she will help you even after you ended things."

"Hyllie is a Will-o'-the-wisp. As a whole, they're not known for being interested in long-term monogamy."

"Oh."

That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. I'd met only a few Will-o'-the-wisps while living at the palace. Most preferred to live deep in the woods, but the few I had met had been enchanting. Tall, slender men and women with eyes of blue fire and nearly translucent skin. Every part of them was designed as a lure.

Yoko's knowing grin irritated me as she said, "Hyllie was also a bit of a wild card. She danced too close to treason sometimes with the things she said about the royal family. I would never have reported her, but I certainly didn't want to associate with her."

I laughed. "Now, I see. She's going to love it when you crawl into the city as a genuine traitor."

"What can I say? It just took the right woman to make me see the error of my ways."

Her words warmed me from the inside out, and I grabbed her by her collar again. "Enough talking. I want my distraction."

And this time, she obliged.