We woke as the sun peeked over the horizon, changing the bottom band of the sky from dusky purple to deep goldenrod. Tievel tried to rouse me gently, but I jolted awake the moment his hand pressed against my shoulder. The touch was too familiar to Jol's as he pinned me against the bed. Panting hard, I locked wild eyes on his face as he hovered above me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He lifted his hand but didn't pull away, and after a heavy breath, I leaned into him, accepting the comfort he offered. "We need to get on the road and put as much distance between us and this town as possible."

The others grumbled about the earlier than expected wake-up call as they saddled the horse; however, neither asked questions about our hasty departure. I mounted my horse and looked ahead, too afraid I would crumble at any sight of softness from my oldest friend. She would offer comfort. I knew she would, but I could not imagine speaking the words aloud. Not with the shadow of the inn looming over us, and the scent of blood still clinging to my nostrils.

We rode for three hours without speaking. Metal gray clouds crowded in from the west and blocked most of the light, especially beneath the thick forest canopy. It suited my mood. Dark and gloomy. The gusts of wind ripping dried leaves from the branches were almost loud enough to drown out my thoughts. If only Tievel didn't pause every so often to look back at me, I might actually manage a few seconds of blissful oblivion.

"Okay, enough with this," Astreia finally snapped, sawing on the reins of her horse until she came to a standstill in the middle of the road. "Will one of you tell us what happened last night?"

"None of your concern," Tievel said.

I kept my eyes down. Too broken to look her in the eyes. Too broken to speak for myself.

"Morana," Astreia whispered, "Did something happen between you two? Did–did he hurt you?"

Yoko was close enough to hear the question, and she shot the prince a filthy look. One that promised decapitation. Any other time, I might have burst into shocked laughter. Never did I expect Yoko to threaten her prince on my behalf.

"No, he didn't," I answered. I lifted my chin and summoned the bit of courage I had left. "He saved me."

Tievel turned his horse toward us when he realized we couldn't avoid this conversation. The clip of hooves on hardened earth echoed down the lane, and the impact rattled every bone.

"Two men accosted her last night," he said, sparing me from explaining further. "I worried about her when she didn't come to eat last night, so I went to check in on her. I put a stop to it."

"Put a stop to it, how?" Astreia demanded. She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"I slit their throats," Tievel growled, his hair flashing to crimson and his incisor teeth biting into his bottom lip as he stared down at the princess. "Well, I slit one of their throats. Morana handled the other. Would you have done anything different?"

Her mare sidestepped, tired of not moving, but she drew the horse to a jarring halt as she snarled, "I would have killed them slowly by a thousand cuts. Starting with their testicles."

I gaped at my friend. "There was no time to be creative."

She would not meet my eyes, but it was obvious she didn't agree. My fingers went to the braid dangling over my shoulder. Three new white hairs had joined the others. I could have admitted what I'd done to Brun, but it was bad enough that Tievel knew I'd taken another soul. I didn't want to tell the girls, especially not Yoko. Our truce was too new to face such a challenge.

Yoko drummed her fingers on the pommel of her saddle and then nodded as if agreeing with herself. "You need to learn how to defend yourself. Properly. What we've faced on this journey so far is nothing compared to what waits for us in Araphel. After we make camp each evening, we will begin training."

The idea held appeal. In the palace, I'd believed myself to be safe inside the walls and never prepared myself for life outside of it. Out here, I was defenseless. Even with ice and fire magic, I couldn't protect myself.

But as I grew excited, a grin stretching across my face and lifting my mood, Tievel shook his head in the negative.

"Why not?" I demanded. I backed up my horse, so I sat between Yoko and Astreia. Three women glowering at the prince was enough to make him pale, but his jaw remained clenched.

"I can protect you."

"You're an idiot," Yoko snapped.

"Excuse–"

She cut him off. "Men walk around with their chests puffed out saying they will protect women, which is ironic because it's typically men that we need protecting from. But even aside from that, if Morana knew how to defend herself, she wouldn't have needed protection. Morana, tell me how you were accosted last night."

I started and stopped. Then drew in a ragged breath when Astreia touched my hand in encouragement. "I woke up because I heard a noise, and before I could identify what caused the sound, they pinned me to the bed. One over my lap. One behind me."

"Pigs," Astreia seethed.

Yoko nudged her horse forward, and I kept pace with her. Tievel did not pull ahead as he typically did. The glower he wore grew darker as the soldier spoke.

"When I joined the military, they attacked me at random for months. Sometimes it was during training. Mostly at night or when I was in the privy–alone and more likely to be without a weapon. Sometimes they made noise and other times I had no warning. By the end of the first year, no one dared go after me.

"My commander said he'd never seen a recruit put a stop to the hazing as quickly as I did. I started with two simple rules. Your best option is to put them down before they can grab you, and if you can't, then you make them wish they could let go."

"Do you hear yourself?" Tievel demanded. "It took you a year. If Morana had fought back last night, they likely would have hurt her. The best thing she can do on this journey is stick close to me and run away when we get caught up in a dangerous situation. Anything else, and she will be harmed."

"It took me a year because I knew the attacks weren't real. I would have been more motivated if my life or my body were at stake. And Morana has abilities I never did. My magic is almost nonexistent. If she had known a few simple techniques for escaping their hold, she could have put her hands on them and ended it with a thought. Why would you leave her defenseless? Are you afraid she won't need you anymore?"

The surrounding forest went silent, holding its breath in anticipation. Why was he so against this? Was his response truly driven by the fear that I might hurt myself? That I was so incompetent I couldn't learn enough to at least get free and give myself the chance to run away.

Sweat beaded on my forehead as I remembered how it felt to have my palms smashed into the bedding, rendered useless despite the power surging to my fingertips. Yoko was right. One touch to their skin, and Tievel would have found a very different scenario when he came into my room.

I licked my lips and swallowed. The moisture made my parched throat crackle. And what of my Song? Killing the soldier back in Edresh proved my voice held power beyond the Song reserved for Tievel. If Brun had lifted his hand for just a moment, would I have unleashed Death?

"Your mouth is getting out of line," Tievel said at last. He turned to me. "What happened last night won't happen again. First, there will be no more foolish separation between us, and second, I will always be there for you."

"You can't promise that," I replied. I was done depending on men to rescue me. The Reaper. The prince. Same situations with different faces.

"It's your choice, of course. It's always your choice."

I bristled. It was clear he thought I would smile and be grateful for his permission to accept Yoko's offer. But I did not need his permission for this. Not now or ever.

"Tonight," I told the soldier. "I want to start tonight."

***

"Again."

"No." Mud filled my nostrils as I shook my head, which was currently face down on the ground, and refused to get up. "Right here is fine."

"Hmm, what will you name the child? The one the fat bastard is going to sire on you if you give up. If he doesn't strangle you afterward," Yoko hissed in my ear.

I could see the laces of her boots in my peripheral vision. Her toes were just inches away from my chin, but I didn't care if she kicked me right now. Maybe I would be knocked unconscious. A nap sounded delightful.

"Brun Jr. or Jol Jr. I like the alliteration of Jol better," I whimpered.

Astreia's voice sounded very far away when she spoke. "Those names sound familiar. Didn't–-"

Her muffled protest drew my head up. Groaning, I dug my elbows into the soft earth and pushed the rest of my body off the ground. Yoko grunted in approval, but I wasn't paying attention to her. The prince and princess were across the camp. Faces flushing, they argued beneath a towering evergreen while casting worried looks in our direction.

"Do you know what that's about?" I asked, bending to gather the skirts between my legs back into a knot. It had taken only two maneuvers with Yoko to realize trousers were far more effective than skirts.

"Come here," Yoko said.

She hooked a muscular arm behind my elbow and dragged me to the tent she shared with Astreia. Some time while I slept, she'd purchased more supplies. While the tent's canvas had patches on patches, it would be far more comfortable than the four of us sharing a single tent.

When I didn't step inside, she rolled her eyes and pushed me in, following closely behind. Dropping into a squat, she rifled through her bags, pausing occasionally before moving on to the next item. At last, she tossed a garment at me.

"Put those on. Astreia wears them," she added when she saw my hesitation. She folded everything and put it back in her bag in an orderly fashion.

"No, she wears trousers underneath skirts."

I wasn't sure why it mattered. Skirts were impractical on the road, and there was no royal court to enforce dress codes. Making up my mind, I shimmied out of my skirt and pulled on the leather trousers. They were snug over my backside and a touch loose in the thighs, but otherwise, the fit was perfect.

"I don't know." I ran my hand over my hips and studied my legs. They were so tight there was nothing left to the imagination. I might as well be nude.

Yoko held up a shushing finger and circled me. She looped her fingers in the belt loops and gave the pants a tug that made everything shift into the right spot. Then she added a belt and stepped back with an appraising look.

"I thought we might be close to the same size, though that will change after you train for a while. Muscle will make some places tighter, but I imagine you'll lose inches in your waist and hips." She smiled at the indignation rolling off me in waves. "I'm not saying there is anything wrong with your body. Lush curves are my favorite against satin sheets."

I blushed. The idea was not entirely unpleasant, which was a relief, because I was afraid last night's events would leave me incapable of feeling desire ever again. But Yoko was a woman, and she made me feel safe.

"You don't have to wear them while we travel if they make you that uncomfortable, but they will make training much easier."

"But shouldn't I train wearing what I'd usually wear? It won't do me much good if I'm attacked wearing skirts and they get in the way."

"You're right. Which is why you should just switch to trousers. At least for now."

"Fine, you're right," I conceded, tucking my blouse into the pants. Tievel was going to swallow his tongue when he saw me wearing these, and suddenly, I was eager to head back outside.

She let me take two steps before launching herself at me. My first instinct was to scream and run. Instead, I used her momentum against her, grabbing her shoulders as we fell and raising my knee to her soft middle. I lifted my hips on impact and pushed with the knee, dislodging her and sending her across the room. Flipping over, I shot to my feet and raced out of the tent, praying the stale bread and stew in my stomach stayed down.

The tent flap moved, and a grinning Yoko emerged. The pride glinting in her eyes was enough to curb my nausea, and I managed a shaky smile in return. If she'd truly wanted to hurt me, she could have. I would not pretend she did not allow me to get the better of her, but I accepted the victory for what it was. A shifting of my mindset—a reaction instead of freezing in panic. It was a step in the right direction.

"What the hell is going on?" Tievel demanded. He abandoned the fire and strode to my side. His hands were soft as they moved along my arms and waist, checking for injuries, and as predicted, he swallowed hard when he saw my lower half. "What are you wearing?"

"That was excellent, Morana," Yoko said. She ignored the prince and punched me lightly in the arm. Her sleek black hair swayed around her face, and she winked. "You're a fast learner."

Stepping away from Tievel's fussing, I returned the gesture, hitting harder than she had. Brows raised, she pointed at the center of the camp where we'd been training before, and I went to my place without hesitation.

I pushed my long braid over my shoulder and declared, "Again. I think I quite like trousers."