I know I haven't updated in like a year or something of that sort.

But like I said before, I had exams, then after my exams, I took a one week leap and sailed around, I went to other cities and tried to blow off some steam and breath some fresh air and escape reality for a while.

Now I am back...Well, Kind of.

By the way; If you haven't watched "La Casa de Papel" yet, THEN YOU MUST, the song above is from it. IT'S ONE OF MY FAV SHOWS NOW.

Also, I haven't written in a long time so I feel like I lost my touch in here, so bear with me, please :)

************

Alex's POV

Cold wind rushed and tangled in my hair, it hit my skin and chills raced through, going deep down till they reached that wild muscle beating at my chest, they engulfed it from all sides, wrapping it in a cold blanket, trying to clog the veins from pumping all that blood, trying to numb it from feeling everything so deep.

Silently, I stood by the car's door, waiting for my breathing to even, waiting for that fog wrapping around my brain to fade away. I just needed it to stop because I can't make sense of all these feelings brimming at my chest, I just can't...I never was able to. I can't deal with this pain, because it's much more than anything I ever felt.

It's intense.

It's physical.

I can feel every cell in my body resisting through it, trying to fight before it loses control and just collapses. I fisted my hand, doing my best not to lose my shit, trying to keep from coming unglued right here in the middle of the day.

I let one feeling take over my senses, the only one that doesn't hurt. Anger, I clung to it with all my power. Not wasting more time, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. Dialing Ronald's number, I placed the phone to my ear. My eyes looking ahead of me; focused on the building I just escaped.

"Hello," Ronald answered. I didn't give him a chance to say more, I immediately threw my question at him, "Please tell me you figured out where Roman took him."

"Yup. Of course, I did," He answered, "I'll send you the address."

"Great," I muttered to myself before I hang up. Seconds later, a message arrived from him, holding the address in its contents. With one last look at the building, I opened the car's door and got in. I turned over the ignition, and the car rumbled to life.

Before I drove away, I made a promise to myself, to never ever get back here again, no matter what, I will never step a foot inside that building again.

************

I pulled to a stop at the curb in front of what I assume was Cara's house long ago. The one I found her in at her father's funeral day. Looks like Roman is hiding him here.

That would've not crossed my mind, good choice. I gotta admit, that little boy got it in him.

Agitation curled through me as I stared ahead of me. I gripped the door handle, wanting to run from here just as badly as I'd wanted to run from that place, from her; Knowing there wasn't one place in this world where I'd find relief for what I was feeling at the moment.

Seeing her today had ripped those old wounds open wide, leaving me raw. Realizing that all the guilt I lived through all these years was for nothing...Well, that killed me. And there is one more person to blame, the one who ruined my life in the name of his mother's death, who turned out to be pretty much alive.

I forced myself out of the car and walked toward the old wrecked house. The door was slightly opened, it was scratched and dented with chipped brown varnish. Placing my palm against it, I pushed, the door cracked open, moving only a centimeter at a time. It could move faster, but the wood of the door has grown moldy and soft with water and neglect.

Echoing footsteps invaded the silence that hung like a cloak around the house as I made my way inside. My eyes took a quick look at my surroundings, searching for any movement but all I can see is the crumbling walls that were nothing more than a ghostly silhouette of some previous existence.

My steps took a pause when I felt a hand harshly grip my shoulder from the back, "Where do you think you're going?"

Air pushed in and out of my nose, the muscle of my jaw tightened as I slowly turned around and faced Roman. Ignoring his words, I said, "Where is he?"

"Alex, leave." He said, ever so seriously.

"I think you didn't hear me quite well Roman," I started. I was one step away from losing my shit, "Tell me where he is or leave me to find him." I said.

His eyes flickered around before they settled back on me, he didn't give me an answer, so I talked further, "You see, the thing is, I don't want to hurt you only because of your sister but if you gonna stand against me, I might as well just do it."

Hardness took over his eyes and the muscles of his jaw ticked, "Just leave-" He took a threatening step forward, "Or else-" He didn't get a chance to complete that sentence as I grabbed his collar and harshly pushed him away, slamming his back against the wall. I tightened my grip on the material of his shirt as I pushed him even further, "Or else what?" My eyebrow raised, "If you forgot, let me remind you; I don't work for you, it's the other way around, you work for me.

I am the fucking leader and I say what happens and what doesn't. Do you understand?"

"I have more power than you Roman and I can easily put you down." I grated out, "Never forget that."

I released him and stepped backward. He pushed himself away from the wall and fixed his shirt, his eyes shooting daggers at me. He said nothing so I took the chance, "Nikolas is my business to take care of, not yours, so stay the fuck out of it."

"You think you can do this?" He said, a hint of mockery engulfing his words. He shook his head, "You can't. At some point, your feelings and your morals will interfere and take the best of you."

Don't punch him Alex, don't punch him. You know Cara will get angry and slap you, so don't punch him.

"He's your brother-" He continued. Fires of fury and hatred were smoldering in his narrowed eyes, "You are not gonna hurt him and I am quite sure you'll never get the guts to kill him. So leave this to me, because I can. I can hurt him, I can do much more."

I think I should punch his face, I mean he's literally asking for it.

I exhaled, trying my best to stay calm. "Like I said, this is none of your business, whether I kill him or kiss him, none of this concerns you and if you made me repeat my words one more time-" Every word I said was over-pronounced, slicing rather than tumbling through the dry air.

"What will you do then, ha?" He said interrupting the left words from leaving my mouth; His eyebrow raised, his tone challenging me.

"Well, as a starter, I can just let the word spread about your so-called plan of destroying us-" I started, a hint of mockery in my words, "You see, from what I saw, Italian's don't really like traitors, and if the big guys figure out that you're just thinking of working against them, then, believe me, tomorrow will come with you dead." I shook my head, "Hear my words young man, you really don't want me as your enemy."

Every word left my mouth seemed to fuel his anger more. Something vicious crossed his eyes before he marched forward, his hands curled around the fabric of my shirt, "Well, you just made yourself a one!"

I removed his hands away from me, it took every ounce of control in me to not smash my fist into his face. But there was more than just anger in his eyes, there was hurt too, "You people killed my father-"

"Who killed your father will be punished for it, you know that-"

He shook his head, "You don't understand, it's not just that...Every day one of us die because of you people, we've been your slaves for how long now." His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. "And I am going to put an end to that. So if you want to tell them, do it, I care less. If they're gonna kill me, let them, I don't give a flying fuck about anything anymore." His breathing was hard, almost panting; as if he's fighting some battle within himself. "If you want Nikolas that much, then have him, he's downstairs-" He started to back away, "But when you blow this up, don't you dare come to me." With one last hard look, he turned around and walked out of the same door that let me in.

I breathed in the oxygen around me as I ran my hand through my hair. My head dropped down as my hand reached the base of my neck, rubbing at it, trying to ease some of the tightness wrapped around every nerve in my being. I didn't let my thoughts dwell on what just happened. I am no way in the mood to negotiate. I am one step away from losing my shit and him trying to stand against me infuriated me more, it's a good thing I didn't drive my fist right into his jaw, he should be thankful for that.

My eyes spotted the stairs going down, not wasting more minutes, I made my way toward it. Rickety wooden stairs gave way to cement and brick, winding their way down to the basement.

My steps halted when they reached a closed door. I twisted the knob and opened it. I tried to adjust my vision to observe my surrounding but neither light nor darkness seemed to be able to penetrate the gloom in this chamber. An unnatural shade filled it, and the room's farthest reaches were barely visible. My hand went to the wall by my side, traveling over it searching for any kind of switch to turn the lights on.

An eerie glow lightened the room when I pressed it, it gave me the ability to see what lies directly in front of me. The space was large and almost completely empty. Pillars held the ceiling up and were the only thing keeping the moldy, dripping paste above me from caving in. But the most important thing was the man tied to the chair at the very far end, the beaten up, bruised, unconscious man.

I walked forward; crunching under my feet sounded deafening as well as sickening as I made my way through the room. I stopped at the threshold of the chair, my head tilted as I eyed him. I took full pleasure seeing blood drip down from his temple, drop by drop, one followed by another, carrying between its bond the cries of all those innocents he had hurt.

My eyes roamed his face, observing the mess he became. A smile made its way to my lips, I should thank Roman for this. His head was tilted to the side, exposing the side of his neck, the side that held the scar, dry blood engulfed its edges but it was still clear nevertheless.

The smile slowly left my face as my eyes took it in. I brought my hand up, it stopped just right beside his neck, my fingers itching to feel what they once ruined. Images slammed against my consciousness, screams echoed in my head, his screams, the ones that kept me awake for way too many nights.

My jaw tightened, I fisted my hand and pulled it away, trying to shake myself out of whatever this is. I pulled some oxygen back to my lungs and kicked off from my head every moment that related him to my past. I tapped my hand on his cheek trying to wake him up but no response was all I got.

"Hey, you-" I said annoyed as I tried to get the bitch to wake up, "Oh come on, wake up!"

Lines etched his forehead as his eyebrows pulled together, his eyelids slowly glided open. He blinked as he tried to adjust his vision. I grabbed his chin between my fingers and made him face me. His eyes fell on mine and I felt the muscles in his jaw tighten under my grip. The color of his eyes took a different shade as he stared back at me, it was he'd rather see anyone right now but not me.

"Hello, brother," I said with a fake smile.

Air pushed out of his nose as he tried to pull his face out of my grip. "You have no idea how good it feels to see you helpless like this," I said as I let go of his face. I stood straight and smugly said, "Brings back the good old days."

I saw how his tied hands curled into fists as if my words only are capable to lit hell in him. I casually tucked my hands in my front pockets, "So, I paid a visit to specific someone today-" I started. That was enough to grab his gaze back to me. His eyes searched my face as if trying to find clues to where I am going with this.

I raised my eyebrow and added, "Care to venture a guess who it was?"

He said nothing but something in his eyes told me that he already knew.

"It was your dear mother, it's funny you know... because I thought she was dead." My tone changed, losing the fake playfulness it held moments ago, a frown creased my forehead, "Wasn't she?"

I pressed my palms on both sides of the handrest and leaned forward, "You see, when I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead." I rolled my eyes, "But for some reason, all the dead people in my life somehow come back to life and they make their way into mine and screw it up."

He didn't look that surprised that I knew she's still alive. "If your father ever knows about this-" He started, fury and hatred flared in his eyes as he leaned forward, "I will change my mind and actually kill you, do you understand?"

I chuckled, "Don't worry, I am not even one bit interested in reuniting my parents."

"Now back to our point-" I said. I cleared my throat, "Didn't you say that you wanted to ruin my life because I killed your mother, but you see there is this one thing that I don't understand." My lips pursed as if I am thinking about it, "I mean technically, technically, I didn't kill her, so what's up with your wanna-make-my-life-a-living-hell-blah-blah plan?"

"It doesn't matter whether you actually killed her or not." He said through clenched teeth, "For years, I thought she was dead. For years I couldn't kick away the image of her drowning in her own blood, the thought of her dying right in front my eyes."

"That doesn't explain it all," I remarked.

He scoffed and looked away from me, "I told you, I hated you, I still do of course-" He looked back at me, totally unfazed, "And that is an enough reason for me to do what I did."

"So you just wanted to make as unhappy as you are."

He nodded his head, "Kind of."

"You're pathetic." I grated through clenched teeth.

A wicked smile of his own touched the corner of his lips, "Well this pathetic did ruin your life, didn't he?"

Every word came out of his mouth threw more fuel to my anger, and I am sure that's exactly what he wants. To infuriate me, to push me right to the edge and then just throw me off it. My fingers curled tightly into the inside of my palm, I could see his neck snapping in my mind and it felt good. I could feel my fist smashing into his nose, splattering red blood on the dirty walls. What an improvement that would be. But instead, I gathered the left control in me and slowly let the words leave my mouth, "I never wanted to hurt you," I said, "You know that."

"I know." He blankly said.

My fingers dug further into my skin, "If I am the one who stayed there, and you're the one who got free. I would be glad to know that you did, that you were able to escape him, that he won't be able to hurt you anymore-" I shook my head, "But your fucked up mind, your envy couldn't let you bear the thought that I kind of had a normal life after and you didn't."

He nodded his head, "True." He said, "I paid the price for your existence, so why not let you pay for it too?"

Anger boiled deep in my system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and I know it's too much for me to handle, "I did not choose to be born!" I snapped, my voice hit the four walls and left the room as an echo.

I am done with them making me live in the guilt of just being born, "Why don't you blame your dear mother for that, ha? She is the one who lured her way between two brothers, didn't she?"

"Don't you fucking dare talk about her like that!" He retorted back with the same furious raged tone.

My eyebrow raised, "Why? Isn't it true?" I snarked, "If she left my father alone, none of this would've happened. I would've not been born and life would've been a much better place, right?!"

He said nothing but the harsh breaths that pushed in and out of his nose was a definite proof that if he wasn't tied to that chair, he'd drive his fist right into my face. My eyes traveled around before they found him again, another thought nagged at my consciousness, "Why did you hand yourself in?" I asked to which he gave a questioning look in return, "I am pretty sure Roman isn't smart enough to capture you, you could've escaped, you can escape like you always do but for some reason, you didn't, why?"

He tilted his head back, pressing it against the wall behind him, his eyelids dropped down and so did his voice as he said, "Because I have to pay."

My eyebrows pulled together, "For what?"

He opened his eyes and gave me bored look, "Definitely not for hurting you."

I can feel the fury build up in my chest, I can feel the rage traveling from within, spreading like wildfire over every part of me. I can feel the warmth spread over my neck, a clear sign of the blood that's rushing so fast through my veins, begging for a release.

I knew where he is going with this but I asked my question anyway, "Then for hurting whom?"

His eyebrow raised, "You know who."

The rage that built up, bursting at my ribs, bristling across my skin, was uncontrollable. It pushed me to lunge forward before I drove my fist straight to his jaw. His face turned to the other side as an impact to the blow. Blood gathered at the corner of his mouth as he clenched his jaw but I didn't stop, I grabbed his neck between my fingers, my nails digging into his flesh, every cell in me wanting to break his bones, "You want me to believe me that there is still good left it in you-" I scoffed and shook my head, "But there is none. There's nothing human left in you, no good-" I squeezed harder and I felt him struggling to breathe, "No kindness-" He shut his eyes, "No love." I can feel my nails penetrating through, I can see the blood gathering at the surface, "There's only a monster who must be stopped."

I released his neck after the words left my mouth, his head dropped down as a result of the oxygen that rushed with full energy back to his lungs. My gaze dropped to the ropes binding him to the chair. I wrapped my fingers around them and snatched them off. His eyes looked down before they flicked back to me, confusion emanated from him in waves.

"I am not like my father, I am not going to tie you to a chair and fuck you up-" I started, "I'll make this a fair fight," I said before I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up. He yanked himself out of my hold and took few steps backward, his hand went and wiped the side of his mouth. He looked terrible, his clothes disoriented, covered with dust and blood, his face all kind of bruised, sweat beaded up on his forehead, few strands of his hair falling over and mixing along with it. But his eyes, the ones that harbored the monster for years, today they were different.

"Why whenever I come close to just mentioning her, you lose your mind?" He said with faked amusement. His words trying to trigger a bigger action from my side, "Because you don't have the fucking right to even think about her." I grated out as I wrapped my hands around his shirtfronts pulling him closer.

He smiled, "But she is still my wife, isn't she?"

"Not for too long," I assured him.

He laughed, "Even if I died, that won't change anything. It won't change what already happened." He said, "There is still the baby Cara is carrying, he's alone a proof of what I did." His eyebrows pulled together as he carelessly said, "Maybe you should listen to your father and get rid of him before his existence ruins everything just like yours did."

"How can you talk like this about your own blood?!" I said as I shoved his body and slammed it right into the wall behind him. I scoffed, "But right, given to your reputation, of course. Water is thicker than blood in your dictionary."

"Trying to hate him is much better than the thought of never being able to see him." He said, almost helplessly. And like I said, his eyes were weirdly off, the flames of hell had shut down in them and the hurricane was no longer there to devastate. "The only thing I want is being taken away from me...again -" His eyebrow raised, "So do you blame me if I tried to hate him too."

"What do you mean by again?" I asked but he didn't give me an answer, "So is that what you do? Is that what you do when someone you want leaves, when he's taken away from you... You try to hate him?" My voice dropped lower, "You try to destroy him... and then, you ruin his life?" He looked away as if my words just hit a nerve. "Is that what you do?" I asked again. The muscles of his jaw worked but he still didn't give me an answer, "Look at me!" I snapped infuriated by everything about him.

His eyes settled back at me and he shook his head, his voice weak as he muttered, "You don't understand."

"Then make me understand!" The only thing I felt was myself coming apart at the seams. All the hatred I'd harbored inside me rose to the surface. He didn't say a thing. A suffusion of rage stormed through every last one of my senses before I cocked my elbow back and rammed my fist so hard into his face that his head rammed into the wall. A sick sort of satisfaction fell over me when I felt some bones crunch beneath the force.

"Why did you have to do all of this?!" It's like I wouldn't stop until I get it all out of me. I didn't even give him time to register the hit as I landed another punch, this time to the temple. A pained sound spluttered from his throat but I couldn't get myself to stop, "You could've had a brother! I would've helped you!" I was panting, my voice loud, my words engulfing the room, the pain buried in them echoed after, "Together we could've made him pay for what he did... You were my friend when I had no one, I would've done anything for you.. but you, you just couldn't!"

I clutched him by the collar of his shirt, "Why you are not fighting me back ?!" I snapped. My throat constricted and bobbed heavily with emotions. Emotions so over-bearing it clenched my teeth and burned in my eyes, a physical weight to my limbs trying to break me down.

He pressed the back of his head against the wall, his eyes on me. I finally understood that look in them, the look of someone who had given up, they were red as he slowly let the words escape his mouth, "Because I am stronger than you...I'll hurt you." A lone tear left the corner of his eye and slowly made its way down as he said, "And I've hurt you enough."

My hands slowly loosened their grip. I saw the bob in his throat, the hard swallow, "And you were my friend too." He said, "I trusted you."

He shook his head, "I never blamed you for the scars over my body...I knew you had no choice."

He scoffed, "And you tell me that I would've had a brother?" He said with a raised eyebrow, "You think it was easy to get back to my feet after, when on one side I was trying to recover from what your father did to me, and on the other side my own father calling me crazy and forcing me to do what I don't want to do, and then my mother..I mean our mother trying to be okay with what your father did to her."

I rubbed at my throat trying to ease whatever was trying to strangle the life out of me. "You think it was easy." He shook his head, "It wasn't. And when I was finally free from them, it was too late, I was already ruined, I had already reached the point where I stopped caring.

I killed the human in me when I drove that knife into my father's heart...he dared to hurt my mother again, and by that time, I wasn't going to stand and watch her get hurt."

My heart pumped hard. Too hard.

"You ask me why I hate you? Well, I had someone who I cared about and who cared about me, I had what I always wanted, a brother." His voice dropped lower, "It was the best thing about being in that fucked up place, but then." There was blame in his eyes, there was hurt, "He too walked away from me...so I chose to hate him."

"You know why else I hate you, because you don't have to live in this fucking mind-" He placed both his hands to his temples and lowered his head, "Where the voices just won't fucking stop!" His hands moved to his hair, grabbing it hard between his fingers, trying to reflect some war within him.

He let his hands drop before he lifted his head and looked at me, "I hate you because you don't have to take these-" His hand went to the pocket at the inside of his jacket and pulled something out, "These stupid pills to stay sane." He turned his hand to the other side making them fall to the ground, one followed by the other, he eyed them as they hit the ground.

His gaze fixated on them and he continued, "I hate you because at the end of the day no matter what has happened, when you go home, you have someone you can lean on, someone who can make you forget, but for me-" He looked up and a very sad smile touched his lips, he was ever so slowly breaking down from the inside,

"At the end of the day, I only have myself and my fucked up mind to deal with."

*************

Cara's POV

"Did Alex come here today?" I asked Ashton once I dragged him out of the hospital's room.

A frown creased between his eyebrows and he shook his head, "No, I haven't seen him today. Why?"

Frustrated air puffed from my nose and I ran my hand in my hair, "He went to see her.. but it was like morning when he left and it's almost night now and he still didn't show up..and he is not even answering his phone. I am so worried, where would he go? What if something had happened? I don't understand why he won't just answer the damn phone-" I stopped rambling when I felt two hands on my shoulders calming me down.

"Okay, calm down, and tell me one by one, what's wrong?" Ashton said trying to make sense of my words.

I pulled much-needed oxygen back to my lungs and simply said, "I can't find Alex."

"Okay he is not a kid, he is probably somewhere around and when he's finished, he'll be back."

I shook my head, his words didn't once relief me, "You don't understand. He went to see his mother and-"

"His what?" Ashton said in shock.

I gulped, "Mother." I said.

I didn't give him a chance to ask more when my eyes met Roman from behind him, making his way toward us. He called me, saying he needs to see me, I told him I am going to the hospital, he said he'll meet me there, I wonder what's wrong.

He stopped right beside us, he didn't bother to say hi or anything of that sort, "If you don't control your dear boyfriend, I am going to do some serious damage to him." He said through clenched teeth, looking beyond angry.

My eyebrows pulled together as I tried to register his words, "What? Alex?" Hope rose in me, "Did you see him today?"

He nodded, "Of course I did." Annoyance flared in his tone.

"Where? Where is he now, do you know?"

"He came for Nikolas earlier today. He was beyond furious." He said, "He was acting like a jerk, I was going to punch him but I stopped myself for your sake-" I shot him a glare, "Oh shut up!" I said, "Now tell me, is he still there?"

"I don't know. I am not sure if he left or not." He added.

"So you say, he first went to see his mother-" Ashton said grabbing my attention to him, "Then he went and saw his so-called brother." He said as if trying to analyze the whole situation, "And he's angry and well obviously -  hurt." He sighed, "If I know Alex one bit, he's gonna go get himself drunk right now, and I think I know where he is. I'll go get him."

"Okay, I will go with you then," I said.

He shook his head, "No, I think I should do this alone." He said, "And it's already getting late." He looked at Roman, "Let Roman take you home and when I find Alex, I'll bring him back, don't worry."

***********

Ashton's POV

I walked into the building and made my way up to the last floor. It was silent, mostly dark and no one was around but the few security guards who greeted me as I passed through. I spotted the office at the far end and like I thought, the lights were on. I made my way toward it, the door was slightly opened, rays of light seeping through so I pressed my palm on it and opened it further.

My eyes took a quick scan and like I thought, he was inside, sitting on the couch placed on one side of the office, his head turned to the side, his eyes fixated on the dark sky the glass windows exposed.

I made my way through but he didn't seem to notice my presence at all, I couldn't help but look around at the office and notice how small it is compared to our new one in LA.

A low sigh left my lips. Here is where we started.

I stopped few miles away, my hands tucked into my front pockets as I said, "I figured I'd find you here."

At my words, he turned his head and looked at me, a small smile played on his lips, "Yeah, remember-" His eyes moved around, "How many times we pulled an allnighter trying to finish all the work-" He pointed at the desk, "I had sex with the secretary right on that desk."

I chuckled, "That you remember!"

He sighed dreamily, "It was some good sex."

I shook my head and seated myself beside him, my eyes fell on the empty bottle of alcohol laying on the side, I took it and asked, "How many of these you had?"

He swallowed and showed me three fingers, "Two-" He said, his eyebrows pulled together and he showed me five fingers, "Or four."

I chuckled before I snatched the half-filled one from his hand, "Hey!" He said annoyed, "I think that's enough alcohol for you." I said as I placed it far away from his reach.

He mumbled something under his breath, probably cursing me as he looked away.

"So, how are you?" I asked. He shot me a glare in return, "Dashing." He sarcastically said, "Isn't it obvious."

"You look terrible." I said, "What happened?"

His lips pursed, "Oh no biggy, just your usual." He leaned his head back against the couch, "Just my father sold me out, my brother hates my guts and the girl I love probably in love with someone else and oh yeah, how could I forget-" He turned his head to me, "My mother is alive, you know the one I killed, well turns out I didn't kill her after all."

"So yeah, just a normal dose of my daily life," he added with a smile.

"Isn't it a good thing, that she is alive?" I asked. At least he doesn't have to live with the guilt of killing her anymore.

He laughed and shook his head, "Nope, definitely not." He pointed his finger at me, "Our stories are different Ashton, your mother didn't know you were alive but mine, well, don't let me get started with mine.." The last words slurred out of his mouth.

I didn't know what to say, he's definitely way too wasted for me to try and negotiate with him. My thoughts took a short pause when my eyes fell on a picture frame laying down on the table facing the couch. I leaned forward and took it in my hands, my eyebrows pulled together when I noticed that there was no picture inside, just the one that comes with the frame.

"I got this when we were first decorating the office-" Alex said from beside me. I turned to him, to see his eyes fixated on the frame in my hand, "I saw you got a one for yours, you had a picture of you when you were young with your parents--" He seemed to doze off for a couple of seconds, "I never knew what to put in it; I never had a picture like that-" A low breath sneaked past his lips, "I never even had a picture of me when I was young."

I placed the frame away and felt some weird tightness in my chest, "Okay where is that drink now.. I think I need it." I muttered as I took the bottle from my side and took a gulp. I winced at the taste, "What the hell is this?" I said as I eyed the bottle.

Alex shrugged, "I have no idea. I found it here."

"You're planning to kill me, aren't you," I said as I placed it away. I shook my head trying to shake the hard taste that traveled all the way to my brain. No wonder he's wasted, this shit is strong.

I leaned my back against the couch and let my eyelids drop for few seconds while thinking how our lives are falling apart all over again.

A moment of silent engulfed the room till I suddenly felt something heavy on my shoulder and something soft brushed my neck. I opened my eyes and slowly turned my head and looked down at Alex, "Dude get off my shoulder."

With his eyes closed, he mumbled, "Shut up and be a good friend."

My eyebrow raised as I sarcastically said, "Do you want me to hug you and play with your hair as well?"

A smile made its way to his lips, he sighed and nodded, "That would be nice."

"Okay now really get the fuck off me, you are starting to freak me out."

"Shut up I said." He mumbled again and moved his head over my shoulder as if to find a more comfortable position, his hair brushing against my neck again. I want to hit him.

He sighed, "Ashton-", He started.

"Huh?"

"Do you love me?"

Oh, he is definitely drunk.

I tried to push him away from me, "Get the hell away from me."

His lips curled up before he removed his head and shot me a glare. My eyes narrowed, "Don't you dare kiss me!"

He glared harder, "Look, I am heartbroken, the least you can do is letting me sleep on your shoulder." He said before he again laid his head on my shoulder.

He is so drunk.

"Gosh, why your hair is so soft." I couldn't help but comment.

"Don't go all gay on me now." He mumbled.

Look who's talking!

"Now answer me, do you love me?" He asked, "Or am I so unlovable?"

Seriously now!

"Okay love is a big word for you, at least answer this-" he is not dropping this off is he, "Do you care about me?"

I looked at him to see his eyes closed, I sighed, "Of course I do or why would've I stayed your friend even though you annoy the shit out of me every day. Like now for example."

At that, he smiled and then he said, "I love you, man."

OKAY, HOW DRUNK IS HE?

His smile dropped, "Nikolas is not my brother. You are." He said, "Don't you dare die and leave me, okay?"

I laughed, "I am gonna have so much fun reminding you of this tomorrow." 

He stayed silent after, his eyes opened as if he's thinking of something, "She loves him, doesn't she?" he suddenly said.

My eyebrows pulled together, "Of course she doesn't." Is he stupid?

"Why not?" he said sadly, "He's the hotter brother, isn't he?"

"Do you like turn gay when you're drunk or what?" For real though.

He sighed, "I hate this life."

My eyes dropped to him, I swallowed hard and that tightness in my chest just increased. I want to help him but I don't know how. I haven't seen him like this since..since a really long time. My eyes traveled to his arm..since he first did this.

"Now will you get off me, or do you want me to kick your drunken ass?" I said as I pushed him away and stood up before he does more.

"Now get up, let me take you home."

He shook his head, " I don't want to go anywhere."

An annoyed sigh left my lips, "Cara is waiting for you, and she's worried. So instead of isolating yourself here and staying alone, you can just go and talk to her."

He shook his head, "She won't understand."

I nodded, "I am pretty sure she will." I grabbed his arm and pulled him up, "Now, let's get you home." I said as I dragged him with me, not giving him a chance to say no.

**********

Cara's POV

A hand on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts, I turned my head to see Linda looking at me worriedly, "Why you're still awake?" She asked.

I wrapped my arms around myself, "I am waiting for Alex to come back," I said as I rubbed at the side of my arm. She nodded and took the shawl in her hand and placed it around my shoulders, "At least be warm as you wait for him."

A smile touched my lips as I fixed it around me, "Thank you,"

She smiled and sat beside me, she gave me a look that said she understands what's going on, "Don't worry, he'll be fine."

My gaze dropped down, "What if he doesn't?" I mean don't we all reach that point where we just want a break, where we just need to break down for a while.

"He will, I am sure." She said and I wanted to believe in her words with everything in me. I nodded my head and nervously fidgeted with my hands. I lifted my head and looked at her, "Alex told me you took care of him when he was young."

She smiled, "Yeah I did. When his father first brought him, I was barely eighteen years old but that little boy stole my heart right away." She said, "My mother was responsible for everything in the house, she didn't have much time so I took the responsibility of looking after him."

"He was so cute. He didn't listen to a word I said though but still, I loved him so much." She said and my smile grew wider as I tried to imagine Alex young and all, if now he acts like a kid, no wonder he was a handful when was young.

"You know, it's so weird the way life works-" She said, "Who knew you two would meet again when you grow up."

My eyebrows pulled together at her words, "What do you mean?" She couldn't get the chance to answer my question as we got interrupted by the ringing of the bell.

"That must be Alex," I said as I immediately shot from my seat and scurried toward the door. As I opened it, I heard his voice as he said, "I can walk on my own, leave me." And there he was with Ahston.

When his eyes fell on me, a big smile came to his lips, "Hey cupcakes," He said before he leaned and kissed my cheek. My eyebrows pulled together at how calm he is. He made is way inside and I turned to Ashton who was glaring at Alex's retreating back, "If you want my advice, slip him some sleeping pill or something, make him sleep, he's so annoying when he's drunk."

I chuckled, "Thank you,"

He shook his head, "You don't have to thank me." He said, "I have to go now, can you handle him on your own." I nodded with a smile, "I think I can." I said, "I'll see you tomorrow at the hospital."

He nodded, "See you."

We bid our goodbyes before he went off. I closed the door and walked inside. Alex has already seated himself, when his eyes spotted me, his smile came back, "Come here." He said ushering me to get closer.

Once I was close, he yanked me to him, I gasped as I fell into his lap. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "What's wrong?"

He tucked my hair behind my ear as he said, "I just missed you."

I couldn't help but smile as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I love seeing his smile, even if it is a drunk one, it's still beautiful.

"What happened today?" I asked concerned as my I let my fingers touch his cheek, stroking it gently.

He shook his head, "I don't want to talk about today." He said, "I just want to be with you, you help me escape, and I need to escape it all right now, okay?"

I sighed and nodded my head, "As you want." My fingers traveled down his cheek till they reached his lips. I softly traced his lower lip with my thumb before I inched closer and left a light kiss on it. I rested my forehead against his, "I was just so worried."

"I just needed some time alone," He said as his hand went to the back of my neck, drawing me closer, needing me to be closer at the moment.

"You could've at least called," I said.

His eyes looked right into mine, they were trying somehow to suppress all the pain deep down, "I am sorry."

I shook my head, "No, it's okay." I cupped his face in my hands, "I am just glad you're okay."

He wrapped me in his strong arms and hooked his chin over my shoulder. I rested my head back next to his, "I am now." He said at my ear, his nose running down my neck. Goosebumps erupted across my flesh as he nuzzled his nose deeper into my neck, running his thumbs in delicate circles on my belly over my shirt.

Nestled in his arm was the best place I could ever wish to be. I couldn't help but sink further into his embrace.

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" I asked.

He hummed in return, "Kind of." He said teasingly. I lifted my head and faced him, "There is this teeny tiny part of me that is still mad." He said.

My eyebrow raised, "And how can we fix that?"

A smile broke into his features, "If you helped me take a shower now, I may let it all go."

I chuckled, "Seems about right."

***********

Alex's POV

I walked into the bedroom, searching for my little bug to see her fast asleep on the bed. I ran my hand through the wet strands of my hair pulling it back away from my forehead before I hopped on the bed beside her.

Her eyes slowly glided open as I placed my arm around her and pulled her closer to me, "Come here.." I said as I took in a deep gulp of air, "Let daddy breath again."

Her eyes were half-way opened as she stared back at me, a very small smile tugged at her lips, she brought her small palm and rested it on my cheek, "Daddy." She whispered.

My heart skipped a beat at that one little word. I didn't know if she meant it, or if she was half-asleep unaware of what she's saying, or whatever. It didn't matter.

It just felt right.

"You." She added.

I smiled, my heart pulled itself together, "Yes sweetie, I am your daddy." I said as I stroked her cheek, "And you're my little girl."

I buried my nose in her hair and smelled her. Her scent engulfed all my senses, nothing else mattered, not what happened today or whatever is going to happen tomorrow.

If Cara can help escape, then this little girl can help me heal.

I kissed her head and truly said, "You have a place in my heart no one could ever have."

*************************

Thanks for bearing with me through these long updates. Expect a couple more chapters (three to four maximum) and the story will end.

Love ya all <3