So it was March, so I only had a few months until I graduated from High School, which I was in two minds about, as on one hand that meant that I could leave New Mexico, on the other hand that meant that I was a fucking adult, which scared me.

I went to see Grandad in his office, (he got an office as he was the head basketball coach), I went to him as he somehow always knew what to say, (I guess that was where Dad got his ability to say the right thing from).

"Hey Sweetheart, are you ok?"
"Kinda, I'm just in two minds about graduating in June"
"Yeah, why's that then?"
"I'm scared of becoming an adult, like it absolutely terrifies me, but at the same time, and it's nothing against you and Grandma, as I love you guys very much and I appreciate all that you have done for me-"
"I know that Darling, I know"
"But I don't exactly like why I'm here, like I don't mind living here, but I don't like why I'm here in the first place if that makes any sense?"
"That makes sense to me Darling, I was surprised that your Mother had brought you here, even more surprised that she had you to be honest"

I was slightly shocked by that, not because it wasn't true, as it was, (though of course it was true, I wouldn't be a Bolton without having a crisis of some kind in my senior year of high school), but I was slightly shocked because I didn't realise how obvious the disconnect between my Mom and I was, (though I guess it was blaringly obvious to people that knew us and even people that didn't know us).

"Yeah well she wasn't supposed to"
"Ah, she forced it her way then?"
"Yeah she did"
"I'm surprised she did it straight away as that wouldn't be very lawyer like of her"
"You got a point there Grandad, but I hate that she has tainted here with her fucking agenda, as I have many good memories here"
"Then don't let her do that, so I suggest that maybe you go and make some more good memories with your friends, as we both know that you're very likeable"
"(Snorts), I mean it's in my genetics"
"You're not wrong about that"
"Thanks Grandad"
"You're welcome Sweetheart"

So I got on with my day, as one would have to in general and in life, (which was not what I wanted to do, but I did it), I then went home and fucking slept like a log, (yeah I kind of fucked up my sleep schedule in my senior year of high school).

I woke up when Grandma knocked on my door for dinner, (since she called me but I didn't hear her, since I was asleep here, ya know), I was wreak tired from not sleeping properly.

"Lacey Lou"
"Yeah Grandma"
"I called you- oh sorry Sweetheart, I didn't realise that you were asleep"
"Nah, don't worry about it Grandma, I probably should have done my assignments instead of sleeping anyway"
"You hungry?"
"I am actually, yeah"

So then I went downstairs and had some dinner, (which was spaghetti with some tomatoey sauce or something like that, but don't quote me on that, ok), and I actually ate quite a bit at dinner, (which was not the norm as I wasn't really into food here, ya know).

I then came back upstairs and did my homework, (as you do), and after I had done that, well I fell asleep again.

I was sat on my bed doing my homework, (as you do), I was thinking about what I actually wanted to do when I graduated high school, as I was 15 at the time and I wanted to figure out what I wanted so that I could work towards it, (as that made sense to me).

So when I started having a whole ass panic attack, well I stood up to try and open up my airways, but instead I fell, which created a thud, which my Dad heard and he then ran into my room.

"What broke- oh Baby"

Yeah Dad knew it was a panic attack and so he exaggerated his breathing so that I could actually follow his breathing pattern, (so that I could breathe with him, if that makes any sense to you).

"Do you want to talk about what got you so panicked?"
"Well, I was doing my homework, and then I started to think about what I wanted to do after high school, so I could work towards that, but then I panicked because I don't have that much time before I have to decide, which was when I stood up and then fell"
"You don't need to know anything about what you want to do right now Sweetheart"
"But what about-"
"Lacey, I'm glad that you take your future seriously, but Baby it is not worth you worrying so much that you can't breathe, your aunt Taylor thought that she wanted to be a politician, and she studied for that and then she found out that she could do more for the people as a lawyer, so moral of the story here is that you do not need to know what your life is gonna be at 15, ok?"
"Ok"
"Come on, I'll make you a hot chocolate"
"Thank you"
"You don't have to thank me Baby"