It was Christmas Day, Grandma and Grandad were trying really hard to make this a good Christmas for me, and I really did appreciate it, but it didn't stop the aching for my Dad, which I felt absolutely awful about, (because they were trying so hard ).

What's worse is that they could see that I wasn't feeling it from a mile away, (which I felt terrible about as they were trying so hard for it to work out for me), but I still joined in, even if only for their sake rather than mine, (which probably actually made things worse rather than better, but I would've felt worse for not joining in).

After that I went straight to bed, as I was tired and I actually felt sick, (that happened like every Christmas), (which fucking sucks), I then fell asleep, (due to being so freaking tired).

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It was Christmas Day and I felt really sick, (and 5 year old me was shit at staying still for any reason at all here, let alone when I was actually sick and stuff), (though it was probably because I didn't want to miss out on anything, even if the more exciting stuff was over with already, ya know, as 5 year old me did not understand that concept yet).

"How are you feeling now Lacey Lou?"
"A bit better Daddy"
"You sure Baby"
"Yeah, (coughs so much and so hard that a lung could pop out of nowhere at any moment), I'm sure Daddy"
"Hmm, yeah I'm not convinced here Darling, come on, let's get you to bed"

Yeah apparently that was not the thing that I wanted to happen, (as I guess that most 5 year olds have a thing against sleep or something, don't quote me though as I'm not an expert on children here).

"No, (sniffles), what if I miss something Daddy?"
"(Sighs), Baby, (kisses forehead), I promise you that you're not really going to miss anything, as you've opened everything already"
"But it's Christmas, (sniffles)"
"It being Christmas doesn't mean that you can ignore your health Darling, come on, I'll tuck you in all nice and cozy, ok?"
"Ok"

So Dad tucked me into bed, as he knew that I wouldn't stay in bed if he didn't tuck me in, (he always knew what was up with me to be fair to him), (to be fair he probably would know what's up with me as an adult if he wasn't already really fucking dead).

"Daddy"
"Yeah Baby"
"When can we go to the park again?"
"When you're feeling better Darling, ok"
"Ok Daddy, (sniffles), can you sing to me please?"
"Sure Baby"
"Thank you"

So Dad tucked me into bed, and then sang a lullaby for me, I don't remember the words, (fucking sue me Karen, I was literally 5 years old and everything was kind of hazy here for me anyway), but I remember that his voice was soft, even though when he sang it wasn't usually that soft, (side note, it wasn't that his voice wasn't soft or anything normally, but for some reason it was just extra soft that day, if that makes any sense to you).

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It was Christmas Eve and it was during the day, and I felt fucking terrible, (not that I said those exact words at 6 years old, but you get the gist of it, ya know), so I was laying across one of the couches, (as you do), Dad saw that I wasn't feeling well, (I mean no shit Lacey).

"Lacey Lou, why aren't you back in bed?, eh?"
"'Cause I don't wanna be on my own Daddy"
"Ok Baby, (does something to check my temperature), I'm going to give you some medicine, ok?"
"But it's icky Daddy"
"(Sighs), I know Baby, I know, but it'll help you feel better"
"Can I have a hot chocolate afterwards please?"
"Sure Baby, marshmallows too?"
"And cream please"
"(Snorts), Of course, how could I forget about the whipped cream"

Yeah 6 year old me did not understand that my Dad was being slightly sarcastic there, but he did make me a hot chocolate with all the trimmings, (though I think that was to make sure I actually took the medicine, which is smart of him).

So I've taken the medicine, (which I swear to God the weird flavours of medicine that you take as a child are way fucking worse than the pills that you can take as an adult), and so Dad made me the hot chocolate, (and before you wonder where Savannah was, she was still asleep as this was like 10am).

"Thank you Daddy"
"You're welcome Darling, you gotta sit up though, ok?"
"Ok Daddy, can you sit with me please?"
"Yeah Baby, I can, do you feel any better?"
"A little bit"
"That's good"