Waking up is a struggle. They say I got off easy, that it's a gift that I lost my memory. But.. is it? I may not be able to remember a lot of stuff but at night, behind closed doors, closed windows and under a blanket, I know those memories are fighting so hard to be remembered. And it's the scariest thing.

I often dream of hell, or at least what I think looks like hell. I dream I'm walking endlessly along a road, getting tired, hungry, thirsty and getting weak. But I can't stop, I just keep walking and walking and I know it's real, it feels real. And then I'd hear a voice.

I love you, It would say. Come back to me.

Come back where, I'd always think. The voice sounded so warm and familiar and it gives me hope, it gives me courage to fight and think clearly. 

I love you, Charlie. You can't die on me. You'll wake up, I know it.

If I am being forced to walk on this endless road then it means I'm walking away from something, walking far away from - the voice? It doesn't make sense but I didn't want to lose it, I wanted to reach it. In my dreams, I'd always end up trying to stop myself from walking, I'd stab my feet with a shard glass that always seem to be there and although I cannot walk, I'd somehow be forced into crawling, it's impossible to stop but I want to turn around and come back, just as the voice had asked.

Always after that, the temperature would drop and everything around me would freeze and then I'd black out, which is the same time I'd wake up.

"I''m sorry." 

I don't know if anyone can even hear me, but I just needed to say it. I know what it meant, the dream. I've had a guess for a long time. It's guilt. Guilt because for whatever reason, I lived right after Austin Walker died. He was the voice that made me try hard to fight and I wake up and he's dead? And I don't even remember him?

According to my parents, we met when we were two years old. We moved right next door to him and his birthday was in a few days so his parents invited us to come and I guess something clicked within the kiddie versions of ourselves that we just knew we'd be together for a long time.

I'd bet he never expected that it would end sooner than we probably imagined.

Anyway, we spent more and more time together as we grew up and then we started dating during freshman year and it was awesome and we loved each other and we had all the fun in the world when we're together.

Unfortunately these are merely stories I've heard from the people on the sidelines, the people who remembered us and when I hear it, it sound just like how it's supposed to. Like a story told to kids to help them sleep at night. It didn't mean anything to me and I wanted it to mean something.

This is why I should never be left alone, I dwell too much on the things I can't remember. More specifically, I dwell too much on Austin Walker and what could've been.

I looked at the clock. It's almost midnight and my boring boyfriend is apparently not too boring to be out and about at this hour. He said he was going to meet up with a friend and that was nine hours ago. Where the hell is he?

I rolled my eyes. No text. No calls. No nothing. I'm meeting a new side of Walter for the first time.

I looked the door of our (Disgusting!) motel room and decided to take an angry midnight stroll. Should I be worried that the guy's not home or should I be angry?

He looks incapable of protecting himself so maybe I should be worried but also, we haven't been together for a long time and this is the first time we've slept under the same roof so maybe he's like this and I should be angry.

But I don't want to fight.

I don't want to be angry.

I don't want to worry.

I just want to get rid of these thoughts and forget all about it for at least a short time. Hopefully, when I come back into our room, the guy would be there. I walked just a little away from where the waves crashed along the shore and watched it as it did crash into the sands. Somehow it's peaceful even though nothing in my life is ever peaceful. Well, not for long anyway.

My friends would probably be sleeping now and they'd figure out another reason to hate my boyfriend. I didn't want that but I also don't know why I don't.

I decided to come to the pizzeria because it was open at all hours. It used to be my hangout with my high school friends and we'd even stay up late sometimes. Fortunately, I remembered that.

Dark-eyed waiter looked weirdly at me and I decided to ignore it. He looked out the window and frowned and then came back to the kitchen. I looked at the menu and decided to get a lasagna pizza so that if ever Walter's not home, I'd be too bloated to remember him.

Of course after the lonely meal I had, I decided to come back to our room and just ignore Walter. Let him suffer for not telling me that he'd be home late.

Before could open the door of our room though, I heard voices inside. At first I thought there were burglars inside but then I heard Walter and another guy's voice. Wow. My boyfriend even had the nerve to tag a visitor along, hasn't he had enough time to say goodbye? Did he really need to bring a stranger into our room? For all he know I could be sleeping in there and he didn't even think to text me about it first.

I'm starting to re-think who my boyfriend really is.

I listened in, I couldn't help it. It sounded like an argument was on-going and I don't wanna get in while a fight is occurring, especially since I don't expect Walter to protect me, he's the weakest guy I know.

"I've been looking for you for awhile." An unknown voice said.

"Took you too long, I wasn't expecting you to find me." Walter replied.

Was he a criminal or something?

The stranger laughed. "I always catch up."

"Right, traitors are smart." 

"I'm not the traitor, you are."

Maybe it's some sort of game, Walter's into those stuff, I've had a hard time forcing him to get off his video games and he went to a lot of those role playing stuff too. But their conversation sounded like they both took it too seriously.

"Right because I'm the one who's been hunting the devil hunters, right?" Walter replied, sarcastically..?

"You're done with the lies Walter, your time's up."

I heard a couple more words thrown at each other before I heard few stuffs getting ruined. I froze. Do I leave or do I help my boyfriend? I opened the door slightly, revealing two men fighting. I couldn't see the other one because I was facing his back but it's obvious that he had the upper hand. He pulled out a knife from his boot and stabbed Walter with it, suddenly my boyfriend just vanished. I wanted to run but I was too stunned to move - "Wanna come in Charlie?" The stranger said before the door opened.

He looked familiar but I couldn't place his face. No, I do remember, just nights before my friend was hitting on him and earlier today he caught my eyes. It was the waiter guy at the pizzeria.

What in the world is happening?

"Um - How do you know me? Where's Walter?" I asked nervously, my stupid feet still stuck on the ground.

"Walter's gone." He said nonchalantly. "Charlie, come in."

"I don't want to." I said with a gulp.

What did he mean Walter's gone? How can he be? It's impossible. I could've just imagined it.

He took my hand and dragged me in forcefully. "Your boyfriend is dead. He's an accomplice of a demon. Both of them were."

"What do you mean devil? Are you crazy? And what do you mean both?" Is he still talking about a game? This man is psychotic, why would Walter be crazy enough to befriend him?

"Come on Charlie, open your eyes. We both saw how he died, it's unnatural. That's enough proof that I'm not crazy." It made sense, Walter just vanished into thin air, that's not possible. "And I mean both this doof Walter and your pathetic ex Austin Walker."

Austin Walker? "How do you know him?"

"He's famous in the world of demons and hunters. He started all of this, he betrayed mankind and opened a world of suffering."

What?

"And guess what?"

"What?"

"It was all for you. You're alive right now because your stupid boyfriend chose to save you and forget about his sorry-ass life and all the others. He died and put every human being's life into danger just so you can live for a little while. I hope you lived it well."

 "You're going to kill me?"

"No, I don't have to. We're all going to die soon anyway." He said and put his blade back inside his boot. "Watch yourself Charlie."

After this? Of course I'm gonna. 

Holy $#$#. Walter died? Or didn't die because he didn't appear to be human.. but what the actual hell? Am I actually awake right now or is this just a sick dream?