Neil glanced over at JJ who had the phone pressed to her ear. She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. He reached out a hand to her thigh, gently rubbing his thumb in circles in an attempt to relax her.

"Forget it. I can't keep on going back and forth with you guys. Thank you, but I'll find someone else."

"Cara," he whispered when she put the phone down. "It's okay, we'll phone the back up people. I'll do it. Relax for me."

"We're getting married in less than two months. We need a photographer, Neil!" She let out a groan before standing up and walking to the window. He glanced at her before rolling off the bed. When he approached her, he wrapped his arms around her, feeling her lean back in his arms. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You relax, I'll call the new people and hopefully they have a slot for us. Shall we order in today?" She mumbled something under her breath but the only word he heard was diet. "I won't pressure you into it, cara. If not, I need to make some lunch for your hangry ass."

"That's not funny," she said with a smile.

"Hmm, is it not? If I turn you around, I won't see that beautiful smile of yours?" He kissed her neck softly, closing his eyes. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too." A few seconds went by in silence. "Lets order some Caribbean food. If I'm going to order some food, I might as well go heavy." Neil opened his eyes with a laugh.

"Alright, well that place takes forever to deliver so lets order that first. I'll go and annoy Lara."

Before Neil could walk away, JJ turned around and pulled him in for a hug. "Thank you for being patient with me."

"No problem. I told you-"

"Are we ordering food?" Lara said, standing at the open door, a hopeful smile on her face.

"Are you eavesdropping?" Neil asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. I went to the bathroom and heard you guys. Are you okay mama?"

"Just wedding stress, sweetheart." JJ walked over to the bed and picked up her phone. "Alright, what do you want?"

After ordering the food, Neil walked to the window, glancing at the traffic below him. He heard the phone ring several times and when he was about to hang up, he heard someone answer.

"Moonlight pictures, my name is Patrick, how can I help you?"

"Hi there. I do know that it is quite last minute, but my fiancé and I were wondering if you had any bookings in August for a wedding?"

"Right. That's just over a month away. Is there a date set?"

"Yeah. The fifteen." The man hummed to himself as he checked the dates. JJ walked into his line of sight and he smiled before pulling her to his chest.

"How many photographers were you thinking?"

"Two minimum. We have the videographer already, so that's no problem. We were thinking maybe three or four?"

"Okay...it seems doable. No promises just yet. Tell me more about the day."

"Planning to have a Church wedding. My fiance is going to leave from a hotel room with her bridesmaids. I'm going to be in a hotel too. Then there's the wedding and then we want to do a first glance beforehand. Then we're having the reception at my Ma's and we want to have a last dance where it's just the two of us."

"Okay. I'm sorry, I didn't ask for your name."

"Neil. Neil Zampa."

"Do you happen to know a Tony?"

"Yeah, he's the one that gave me your number."

Patrick laughed, leaning back in his seat. "Ah man, he told me you will most likely call. Told me you and your misses are getting married and there was a problem with the one you already had. We can definitely do four photographers for your day but honestly speaking, you would only need three, two if anything. But just go with the three. You're actually very lucky, a couple called in and changed their date this morning. And don't worry man, I'll throw in a little discount for you. Tony is a good friend and I owe him a favour."

"That's very generous of you Patrick, but you don't need to do that. I'll pay you guys in full. And thank you so much, you honestly have no idea how much of a relief this is."

"Thank you!" JJ said as she turned around with a laugh.

"No worries, man. Listen, just send me your contact details through email and I'll talk with the rest of the team and send you an invoice. Also, after the church, do you want to take pictures together? With the misses and whole family and friends?"

"Yeah that would be great. We're looking at doing it around the Church and he's just finalising that for us."

"Cool, that's settled. Just send the email and we'll confirm everything with a phone call on Monday. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect. Thank you so much!"

Neil put the phone down and before he could say anything, JJ pulled him in for a kiss. "This is so amazing!" His hands travelled up her back slowly as he kissed her again. "I love you so much. You're amazing."

He slowly opened his eyes. She shrieked and pulled him into another hug. With a laugh, he lifted her up and she circled her legs around his waist. "You know what this means?"

"What?"

"Everything is sorted. We have everything that we need for the wedding already booked."

---

JJ sighed as she felt Neil's finger slowly graze up her arm. The credits rolled up on the screen and she tilt her head back to meet his lips. He mumbled against her lips and she pulled back so he could repeat it.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

"And you're so fucking sexy. You look amazing by the way, honey, I feel your arms around me when we cuddle." She felt him chest rise as he chuckled. "You're my sexy nerd."

"Isn't that what I'm meant to tell you?"

She turned around in his arms, feeling his hand move to her back to support her as she made herself comfortable. Once settled, she rested her hands on his chest, taking a few seconds to try her best to feel what was underneath. "What would you do if I died?"

His smile dropped and he cleared his throat. "You know I don't like that question, cara."

"I know. Whenever I bring it up, you always shut it down. But what would you do?"

"I'm not answering that," he said harshly. He gently pushed her off his lap and stood up.

"Stop being silly. It's just a question."

"A question that I don't want to answer and I have told you every time you bring it up! I'm not answering it and that's final."

"Neil," she said with a laugh. "Come on!  It's not that hard to think about. What would you do? How long do you think it would take you to move on?"

He sighed heavily before turning to her. "Judith, this is the last time I'm telling you this! Don't ask me that again."

Before she could get another word in, he walked to the room, shutting the door. JJ rolled her eyes before picking up the remote and turning the TV off.

* * *

Trying her best, JJ leaned down and the opened the door with her elbow, careful not to spill the two mugs of coffee. "Okay, if you are done with your temper tantrum, could you help with this please? I fillled it- oh honey!" She quickly put the mugs down on the floor and sped to Neil who was sitting at the foot of the bed, wiping away his tears. "Hey!"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, wiping his tears away with his long sleeved t-shirt. "I urm..."

"Honey, what's wrong?" she whispered softy, gently rubbing his back.

"I was thinking about life after you died and I-" He inhaled sharply. "I can't, cara. I don't know how I can live without you. I don't want to live without you." She heard his voice break at the end but he bit back the sob. He exhaled sharply, trying his best to regain control over his breathing. "I know I lived a life before you and I can probably do it again but I don't want to. You make me so happy, cara. You are the best thing that happened to me and the slightest thought of losing you breaks my heart." JJ blinked back her tears when he heard him release a sob. She pulled him into her chest and rubbed his back silently. "You made me into a better man, a better father and I am forever grateful. You have no idea the joy it brings to me to see you smile or hear you laugh." He pulled back from her arms and cupped her face. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much that it hurts. I don't ever want to lose you, cara. You're my person, you're my other half. When I wake up, the first person I feel for is you. I stretch my arms out to pull you back into my arms or I move close enough to your pillow because it always has your scent on it. Who else is going to smile at me the way you do? Who is going to obsess over my thighs the way you do? I know it's stupid. It's stupid and pathetic to cry over this but the thought of never seeing you again...I can't do that, cara. Even if we were to break up, god forbid that ever happens, but if that was to happen, I still know you're alive. I know that you're breathing and you're warm and not cold buried six feet under. I know that there will be times I bump into you and I'll get to see that smile that let me know from day one that you're my everything. I hate this question. I don't want to ever think about life without you, cara. I want us to live our lives. I want to make more memories. I want to randomly get up and dance with you. I want to make those silly videos we've been making since the very first month." He wiped the tears from her eyes with a frown.

"I'm sorry, Neil. I shouldn't have kept asking the question."

"No, it's okay. It's Lara too. I told you that I never saw myself finding a mother for Lara and when you came along, it was as if you belonged with us since the beginning and it's hard to believe that you weren't there. No one else, not matter how great they are, no matter how much they love her, our daughter will always remain *our* daughter. Forever and always. It breaks my heart to think of what she will do once you're gone." He leaned to kiss her softly, gently brushing his lips against hers. "You are the air that I breathe, cara," he whispered. "I don't know how to live without you."

"Neil," she breathed out. She pulled him into a hug, wiping her tears away. "I'm so sorry, I'll never ask that question again. I'm so sorry."

With a sigh, he pulled her onto his lap and they both sat in silence for a few minutes. "If you ever pass away, I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry a lot. I'm going to hug your pillow every night, I'm going to give Lara that jumper of yours she loves. And I'm going to give you the best funeral I can think of. Make it a celebration of life. Stare at your picture all day. And I like to think that I won't find anyone else and when I die of old age, after seeing Lara get married and start her life..." He pulled back to smile at her. She glanced down to his lips and leaned in slowly. "I'll meet you in hell."

"Excuse me?!" She pulled back as he laughed. "I'm not going to hell."

"Ah huh? With that foul mouth of yours, I don't see you entering heaven."

"Since when?"

"Whenever we're in bed."

JJ rolled her eyes. "That's different. There should be an exception when you're fucking me into next week." She traced his cheek with her finger when she felt his hands at her thighs. "You know...you're not so quiet in bed yourself. You love the good old dirty talk, don't you?"

"Cara," he groaned.

"Stop! You know how much I like it when you say it like that." She giggled as she slipped her hands under his t-shirt and pulled it off after a few seconds. Her eyes roamed over his chest before she pushed him back onto the bed. "How about...I use more of those words that are gonna take me to hell?" Neil chuckled before pulling her down for a kiss, his hands slipped through her shorts and pass her underwear. "Fuck." She straightened up and sighed, her cheeks bright red. "I'm gonna lock the door.

"I'll be here waiting for you."

"Oh baby, I'm not letting you leave the bed until we are done. Not only are you going to satisfy me...I'm going to go out my way to make sure you feel good, my love."

"Don't set the expectations too high, we still got a honeymoon to get to."

She crawled back onto the bed with a smirk. Neil sat up, pulling her against him before once again, slipping his hands into her underwear. "Trust me baby, if you don't make me limp on the way back to the airport, I'm going to be disappointed."

"Challenge accepted," he whispered before kissing her.

* * *

JJ smiled softly when she saw Neil's lips twitch as she carefully ran a finger under her chin. She pecked his lips twice before he kissed her back in his sleep. "I love you," he mumbled, pulling her in closer.

"I love you, too."

Slowly, she made her way put of bed, watching him frown and shift closer to her pillow. She made it to the door until he stopped her. "Come back to bed, cara."

"Fuck. I hate that you're a light sleeper."

"I miss your snoring," he said with a smile as he turned around. He looked her up and down. "You're going to make some food aren't you? Your usual sex routine."

"Of course. I'm gonna make some French toast, do you want some?"

Neil stood up and stretched his muscles. "I'll make it for you. Get back into bed."

She shook her head. When he began to protest, she stuck a hand out and he smiled before taking it. Neil made the mixture whilst JJ leaned against the counter smiling at him.

"Hey cara?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about today. I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. And I'm sorry about calling you Judith. I know you hate it."

JJ frowned as she shuffled over to him. She lifted his arm and got between him and the counter. "Don't you dare apologise. You had every right to react that way after what you told me. I shouldn't have pushed that far. You told me multiple times that you don't like that question and I should have respected that." He leaned down to kiss her but she pulled away. "What you told me...it broke my heart but made me fall in love with you all over again. You were so open and honest with me and I love those moments together. You should write some of them in your vows."

"I've already written half my vows."

"You did not!"

"I did. But I'll definitely add to it." He kissed the top of her head before leaning over her head to get the bread out. "You haven't started to write them have you?" She huffed and turned around taking the bread off him and dipping it into the mixture. "You know..." He kissed up her neck gently as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I know that you're probably going to write them a few days before the wedding and it's still going to be perfect. Because you are so beautiful, so smart and at the end of the day, I'm going to marry you."

"But you're always a lot better at words than me," she mumbled. "Sometimes I feel like you don't know how I really feel because I don't tell you enough."

"That's not true, cara, and you know that. You show your love different to me and that's completely fine. You tell me plenty how you feel and appreciate me and I am grateful for that. I just happen to be better."

"Oh you're so funny." She leaned back in his arms, tilting her head back for a kiss. "I can feel your little friend against me."

"Shut up. Well my little friend is always happy to see, especially in those itty bitty shorts that show off your sexy ass," he said before smacking her bum. "You know...we've known each other for basically two years and I'm surprised we haven't had sex in the kitchen yet."

"Ahh, and is that something you'd like to change?"

"One day. Not today. I want to eat our French toast, I want to hold you in my arms and I want to hear you snore."

"I fucking hate you," she said with a laugh. She took the breads off the pan and put the next two on.