JJ stared out the window, feeling her breath slowly leave her lips. She closed her eyes, imagining the bridge that Neil and her had gone to on their first date.

"It's okay," she mumbled to herself. She opened her eyes. "It's okay. I'm okay." She turned around to face the desk and straightened up. "I'm okay. I can do this."

"Cara," Neil called as he opened the door. Lara walked in pushing him to the side. He huffed when his knee hit the door frame. "God, you're an animal."

"Mama!"

"Yes monkey?"

Lara ran into the room and giggled when she saw JJ walking over to her for a hug. "I got you a present."

"You did? And what did I do to deserve this?"

Neil walked into the room with a smile. JJ looked up at smiled at him before focussing back on Lara. She put her hand into her pocket and pulled out a metal bookmark. There was an engraving on it that said 'I love you this much, mama' with a stick person with long arms.

"Oh monkey, this is awesome. I love it so much! Is this your handwriting?"

"Yeah. Papa and I made you one each."

"Alright kiddo, go and get some clothes out. I'm going to start your bath and you need to be in bed soon."

"Okay. I'll be back. Thank you so much for today, papa. I had so much fun."

Neil leaned down to kiss her cheek before she skipped away to her room. When he looked at JJ, he didn't say anything. He opened his arms and she walked into them silently. "Whatever it is, it's going to be okay. We'll talk about it when she gets into her bath, okay?" She nodded her head and tightened her arms around him. "I love you so much, cara," he whispered. "You're my everything and more."

"Papa, I think I just want a shower today," Lara yelled as she walked down the hall. When she walked back into the room, she saw them still in a hug. "Triangle hug!" JJ laughed loudly when she felt Lara hug her waist. "Are you okay, mama?"

"Oh, I'm okay, sweety. Just a little stressed out from work."

"Okay, well I'll have a shower and we can all drink juice and put a face mask on."

"I can't wait," JJ said with a laugh.

"No juice, just water. You had way too much sugar already."

"Alright, buzzkill," she mumbled as she walked away.

Neil gasped as he listened to JJ laugh once again. "She learnt that from you."

"No she didn't." The shower started. "It happened again."

Neil sighed. He gently placed his hands on her cheeks to lift her face up. When he looked into her eyes, he noticed the tears that were waiting to spill. "You could have called me. You know I'm always there for you on the other end of the line."

"I know...it wasn't a full panic attack. I managed to calm myself down. Did what you told me to do about my happy place. I just got really scared for a second and I-" She stopped when her voice broke. She exhaled sharply, wiping her tears away. "It's just so stupid. A panic attack over numbers for the bakeries and I don't even know why."

"Stop it. You can have a panic attack over anything. There is no one judging you for it. Cara, you are doing so well with both bakeries! Everything is fine. Listen to me, I'm telling you, let someone else take over the numbers. Let it be me or I can get someone at work to do it. Please, just let me do this for you. As great and awesome as you are and as much as I know you can do everything- you can't. You need to be healthy. You need to be happy. It's okay to get help."

She nodded her head as he wiped her tears away. "You're right. I can't do it all anymore. God, what was I thinking?"

"Cara, stop being so harsh on yourself. You are amazing. One of the things I love most about you is that you never give up."

"But I am-"

"No you're not. You tried and you tried hard to do this. And there is nothing wrong with realising that it's not the method for you. What you are doing is not giving up. You're revaluating things, coming up with another method and trying again. You understand?" When he didn't get a response back, he pulled her in closer and lifted her head up. "Do you understand me, Cara? You are trying your damn best and that's all that matters."

"I understand," she whispered.

"Good. Now give me a kiss, I missed you." JJ smiled as she leaned in for a kiss, closing her eyes. She felt Neil move his hands to behind her neck. "I love you," he whispered when he pulled away, his breath fanning over her lips.

"I love you too." With her fingers, she traced down his neck and to the collar of his shirt. "I heard you have a present for me."

"I do indeed." Like Lara, he reached into his pocked and pulled out a metal bookmark. This time, the engraving read "I love you to the moon and back a million times. You will always be my person."

"Did you draw these stars?"

"How did you know?"

"Because you always draw them like this. It's so cute."

"I really did try my best, I promise," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh honey," she laughed. "I love it! Thank you so much. And I love the stars, I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" She leaned up for a kiss. "I love you so much. Thank you. But I thought you guys went swimming, rock climbing and then the bookstore?"

"Oh we did. They were doing this thing in the town centre. Some new engraving thing. You draw your design for what you want, they scan it on the computer and then it engraves. It's our handwriting, our pictures and everything."

"Well I'm super happy you guys saw it."

* * *

Neil winced when he felt the brush poke his eye. "Sorry, papa!"

"I think you're doing it on purpose now. That's the third time." She pulled away with a giggle. "Are you trying to blind me so I don't see you sneak some cookies in before bedtime?"

"No."

JJ walked into the room with a laugh. She glanced over at their faces that were covered in a blue face mask. "Your eyes are red. Did she poke them again?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm going to go with the yes."

Neil stood up and took the tray off her hands. "She's evil," he whispered. "She got that from you."

"Uh huh. And why is that my fault please?"

"You know I can hear you talking about me?" Lara said from the floor. Neil rolled his eyes before kissing the top of JJ's head. He wiped away the face mask on her hair.

* * *

With her eyes closed, JJ reached an arm out and put it on top of Neil's stomach. His t-shirt was off and she felt the light hair on his soft skin.

"Honey?" she whispered.

"Yes cara?" he said, looking away from is phone. He gently placed a hand on her cheek, pushing away her hair. "You okay?"

"Can you roll me into your chest? I wanna lie on top of you." Neil chuckled as he put the phone down and carefully moved her onto his chest. After wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he kissed the top of her head and sighed.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed his chest and sighed. "Do we have ice cream?"

"I don't think so. I think you finished it when you were on your period. I'm sorry I didn't restock."

"It's okay." She opened her eyes and looked up at him. He smiled as he unwrapped one arm to slowly trace his fingers along her cheek. "Do you have a happy place?"

"That I think of?" She nodded her head. Neil smiled as he looked into the distance. "It's in Ma's garden. I'm with you. It's us dancing to our song and you're laughing and smiling, titling your head back and your hair is open and then it all stops when you straighten up. You smile and I just stare into your eyes and I tell you how much I love you."

"That's beautiful," she whispered. "Why is it in the garden though?"

"It's where I knew I love you. It was the second or third time we went to Ma's and there was music playing. It was a month into our relationship, so about two months of knowing you. We were dancing with Lara and then our song came on and she got bored because we always listen to it. And when I pulled you into my chest, you laughed and tilt your head back. I still remember the dress you wore. It was that three quarter sleeve plum polka dot dress. I made fun of you because I said it looked like you were going for a picnic. But when you stopped laughing and I twirled you around, that smile that you gave me just...it was breath taking. And I knew then for sure that you're the woman I will always love." Neil laughed softly as he looked down at her. "Even when I think about it now, it makes me feel all giddy inside."

JJ didn't say anything at first. She just stared at him with a smile. "Neil Zampa, you are the greatest man I know and I am so happy that you're man. I am forever grateful to have met you."

"I could say the same about you, cara." He pulled her in for a kiss and she lifted her body up slightly, bringing her knees up. "Where's your happy place?"

"The bridge."

"The bridge as in our bridge?"

"Yeah. It's where we had our first date. I remember when the sun was setting and I looked up at you and you were already looking down at me. I knew then that you were gonna be a good man. We had such a wonderful day and it ended so beautifully."

"So it has nothing got to do with the fact that I proposed to you there?"

"That too," she said with a laugh. She looked down at her hand and smiled. "I can't wait till we get married."

"When did you know you love me?"

"Same place as you. Just a little bit later. You know that BBQ that we had? Or tried to have but it kept raining on and off? You were all the way across the garden and I was turning over the corn under the shelter. I felt someone staring at me and when I looked up, I realised it was obviously you. You were talking to Kevin and when we made eye contact, you smiled but carried on talking. A few minutes later, you walked up to me and held me, kissing the top of my head. You pulled out a water bottle from your pocket and gave it to me as you took over for a few seconds with your arms still around me. I looked around, looked back at you and I knew that I found my place. It's not as majestic as you, but when I looked at you again, I just knew." A few seconds went by in silence. "You know how we've been struggling to find a venue for the wedding because nothing has been perfect?" Neil hummed. "Do you think your parents would mind if we have it at theirs? In the garden mainly."

"You know what...I think that's a wonderful idea. It's where we both knew we loved each other, it's perfect."

JJ giggled, straightening up. She sat on the lower part of his stomach. "We will obviously have the church ceremony. Then come back for the reception and it will be so good! We should get ice cream to celebrate!"

"Alright, let me go and get some."

"You're really going to go?"

"Of course. My cara wants ice cream and ice cream is what she shall get." He gently placed her back on her side and kissed her. "By the way, your ass has gotten bigger," he said as he smacked her butt.

"Ughh, finally!" She watched as Neil went through the drawers to take out jogging bottoms. "Wait. Turn around." With a laugh, he turned around.

"Are your eyes satisfied?"

"No, I gotta touch those thighs of yours. Come here."

"I thought you wanted ice cream?"

JJ sat up with a smirk. She watched as he walked towards the edge of the bed with the jogging bottoms still in his hands. Slowly, she let her hands trace up his legs, feeling him tense as she went higher. "I think I want you more."

"Cara, let me go and get you-"

"I need you Neil." He looked down at her before gently pushing her back on the bed. He leaned down and kissed her, letting his hands wander up her shirt. She pulled away with a moan, feeling his lips travel down to her neck.

"You relax your horny little ass and I'll be back with ice cream," he whispered. "If you're still in the mood, then I will do my duty and satisfy you."

"Neil," she yelled. He put a hand over her mouth with a laugh.

"No, no, no. Leave the yelling my name till later. And try to keep it down, Lara is a heavy sleeper, but she will still wake up."

* * *

JJ rolled over in bed with a laugh. She held the phone back to her ear, listening to Neil's voice.

"Did he hit on you throughout the entire time?"

"The entire time! He brought something up and I brushed it aside thinking it was an odd comment. But then he made it clear. He was scanning the items so slow!"

"Should have went to the self checkout, honey."

Neil looked to his left before crossing the road. "But that was all the way at the other end. I was lazy. I'm going into the lift, I'll be up in a minute cara."

"Can't wait to see you. I got a present for you."

"Hmm, is it wrapped in blue lace by any chance?"

"Your very favourite," she said with a giggle. "Although, I do have to admit, looking more forward to the ice cream."

"Wouldn't be the first time you ate ice cream in lingerie. And knowing you, it won't be the last."

Neil opened the front door and before he could take his keys out, he heard JJ giggle and within a few seconds, she was standing in front of him. He whistled, shutting the door quietly. "Cara mia, you look beyond beautiful."

"Just beautiful?" she asked as she rocked back and forth on her heels, a smirk on her lips.

"Oh, you know you look fucking sexy and they is nothing more than I want than to run my hands all over your body."

"What you waiting for?"

"What happened to the ice cream?"

"We won't be long. I'm all ready for you."

Neil looked her up and down, taking off his shoes at the same time. "You're gonna kiss me and then run away with the bag of ice cream aren't you?"

"No!" When she tried to reach for the bag of ice cream, Neil chuckled, wrapping his arms around her. He heard her giggle, her hands still trying to reach for his arm.

"You're so fucking lucky I love your sexy ass. Now come on, lets go and eat some ice cream in bed."

* * *

"Was there ever a point where you thought we wouldn't make it?" JJ asked before licking the ice cream off her spoon. She then reached for the one that Neil had in his hands, digging her spoon in there.

"Not exactly. I just had moments where I was like, damn, this is gonna be harder than I thought."

"Hmm, like when?"

Neil reached for the ice cream in her hands. "First of all when I had to tell Lara we were dating and when there was that whole thing with the tickets. And then the custody."

"Never with the Stephanie thing?"

He shook his head before leaning down to kiss her head. "Never with that. I knew I wanted to be with you and she wasn't going to change that. With the custody battle, I was just scared we were both gonna lose Lara. But with the ticket thing, I realised that I was losing Lara in some way. I started the relationship thinking that I was going to spend less time with her because I was spending that time with you and I had never thought it would be the other way. I just...it wasn't an easy adjustment but I am so glad that it happened. I genuinely cannot imagine anyone else being her mother."

JJ smiled before kissing him. "Do you reckon she will actually change her name when she gets older?"

Neil chuckled. "And have her middle name as Kelly? Of course. She's gonna keep her actual middle name though because that's my nonna's name." JJ rest her cold hand on his face.

"What about when we have another girl? What middle name does she get?"

"Oh, we're thinking that far ahead...hmm, we'll hyphenate it. Yours first and then mine. I know how much your grandma meant to you so I would want you to have that. But my last name."

"Sounds perfect. Might give the idea to Lara to change her middle name to that too then." She giggled before kissing him again. "Swap," she said as she took his ice cream off his hands. "Do you have any children's names?"

"Well I always wanted to name my son Joshua but I already have that," he said with a smile. She smiled back at him. "I think I've always thought of girls names to be honest- because of Lara. I actually wouldn't mind having all girls. But Grace, Charlotte, Luna, Sienna, Kathleen."

"Oh, Kathleen, Luna and Grace are lovely. Grace was also on my list. I know Gwyneth is an old name but I love it. My dad said he wanted to name me that because I was blessing to him. His little miracle he used to say."

"What about boy names?"

"Boys are ugly, lets not talk about that."

Neil laughed loudly and heard her join in. "Swap, I like mine better. I think for boys, I really like Gabriel. I know it's popular but it's a lovely name. Used to like Stephen but I'm pretty sure we don't want to name our future kid with your ex who was too trash to see how wonderful you are."

"Well I'm glad he's trash. Because then I never would have met you. My one, true and only love." She leaned up to kiss him, feeling his cold hands slowly travelling up her neck. "I would never be the person I am today if it weren't for you," she whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, cara. To the moon and back a million times. Always."

"You need to tell me the rest about that shopkeeper."

"There's plenty to tell about that. I'll just start from the beginning again."