If you were to open up a baby's head before teaching them to read—and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should—you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
-Dave Barry

Often I find myself thinking, or hoping at least, that Violet knows I'm a good person. Of course, I already know that her best friends think I'm an asshole but that doesn't really bother me.

This is all a joke to them.

One I'm getting pretty fucking sick of.

Then again, I reason. They don't know how fucked they make my mental state.

After graduating three years ago and working as a successful engineer and mechanic I know how hard I need to push myself to get the best things out of life. 

Though now I am pushing myself a little too hard, working most nights late into the early mornings just to accommodate Violet's demands and wants as much as I can. She doesn't exactly make this easy for me.

Especially since she asked- -told- -me to stop smoking.

Most of my closest family knows this, since it does affect my health, but can't support or hate the action. Hell even Eliza doesn't like that I'm not smoking, and she hates that I smoke in the first place.

Eliza's ringtone- -the werewolves of London- -blasting out from my phone startles me, making me shove Nonnie's bag into Avery's chest, making him glare at me but I just ignore it and answer the phone.

"Don't you know the government is listening to every call." I say, having never liked to go along with 'hello' as a way to answer the phone. "Besides that, sup Squirt?"

"I dunno, I'm just fucking bored. Link is still a loser, no surprise there. Also, my brother is a dumbass and I don't know how you can put up with his girlfriend. Anyway, what are you up to besides being one large ass nerd?"

"I'm not that big a nerd," I grumble but quickly realize with my cousin's scoff that it's more than a lie. "Whatever. I'm at the college campus."

"Being a slave, as per usual?"

"Funny."

"I wish it was funny, that's just fucking tragic."

"Whatever I gotta-" Macy screams as Luci- -Eliza's half-wolf dog- -barges past their group towards me. "-go?" Hanging up as fast as I can, I catch Luci from where he jumped after barreling towards me past all what is to him, strangers.

Eliza must be here.

Little shit tricked me.

Laughing, I crouch down so the dog can stand on his own while still licking me all excited-like. "Hey, good boy Luci." He barks at me, wiggling around like he wants to play before bouncing up to lick me again. I'm pretty glad that most dogs like me. "Where's your girl, huh, boy? You're such a good guard dog, yes you are."

Her parents got him as a birthday present but he turned out to be a great guard dog and is known for protecting children, which makes me believe there's a lot more than just my cousin who is here now.

"A!" Eliza squeals in delight, jumping right on me, which makes me stumble back. Wrapping herself around me, she squeezes me tightly -probably getting in all the contact she can before her body starts giving her the whole 'bad vibes' thing. "I missed you."

She reminds me so much of home that I feel myself choke on the feeling.

"I missed you too Squirt," I murmur out, squeezing her just has hard back. "You tricked me."

"That I did."

The second she squirms I set her down, stabilizing her with one hand and ruffling her hair with the other. "So, is your nice guy and the redhead here too or did you just bring Luci?"

"Blondie's here, so is the loser and our whole mini gang," At this alone, I find myself smiling more, making my cousin roll her eyes. "That includes Bailey and lil' Emery."

Her saying this makes the connection for me -most of the parents in our family decided to take a weekend vacation out to get some time off. Just my aunt Jessamine and Uncle Calum stayed back, since they took their vacation time two months ago.

My dad was complaining to me about how there wasn't a sunset view from his room, even though Dad told him there wasn't going to be one. Aunt Emma told him that too, but he didn't listen.

I grin, "Stop calling Link a loser Elle, he's going to be there for you for the rest of your life. Probably in hell too. So act like it."

Humming, she narrows her eyes at me. "You say that like you aren't going to be."

"Eliza." I say simply. "Nobody knows how long I will be, don't act like that's a possibility that you don't know about.

Can't I just go one day without thinking about dying?

Ugh.

Mortality.

"Nice contacts," Is all she says in reply -never liking the dead talk. "Makes your eyes seem less shit colored and more hazel."

"Wow." I deadpan, running a hand through my hair as I try to stop myself from smirking at her. Blond curls, that I really need to cut, fall infront of my eyes. "You sure sound like you're in a good mood. That was almost a compliment, you know."

"Oh was it?" This is said so sardonically that I know her father would be proud. "What I meant to say was f-"

"Atti!" My name becomes a chorus from the tiny humans- -what Eliza calls children- -as they run over to me, dodging around their older cousin to hug me. I pick up the first two that get to me -little Rosangel who's a Hilton and Hayden, who's a Carter. 

They ran together, not worried about sabotage like the others.

Rose's older brother, Micah who's 11, hugs me around the middle while glaring at his little sister for getting to me first. "He's my favorite cousin, not yours! I'm older."

"Dude," I laugh, ruffling his head. "You should have ran past them, not try to trip them up. That's why these tiny creatures got here first."

Knowing exactly what she's doing with her sad eyes, Rose pouts up at me. "Creatures?"

I bounce her a few times making her giggle out as I say "You're a better tiny creature than your brother, Angel, don't worry." only to wink at Micah.

Hayden wiggles his way out of my arms to be able to run up to baby-stroller pushing Link, who's next to Asher who is carrying the baby carrier. Figures Eliza isn't helping.

Over the time that Eliza's healed and from our family gathering, I've become friends with them so I instantly go in for a hug with Asher -saving a simple nod for Link, who doesn't want one.

"I see Squirt's keeping you two quite occupied."

With a soft smile, Asher looks over to Eliza- -who is currently glaring venomously at Violet's group -who I assume has actually done nothing wrong today. She hates most new people, though I think with them the more she knows the less she'll like them- -and nods. "Yeah, she definitely is."

Moving over to him, I crouch down and pick up the gurgling baby Emery -not about to bother the sleeping toddler. 

Emery is Uncle Julian and his wife Jemma's daughter, making her a Thatch through and through -theoretically, the last name I'm not supposed to have. Bailey is my aunt Olivia Wolf's son.

"Liza, what are you doing?"

"Being nice as hell."

The two start a conversation based on that, knowing it's a flat out lie.

 Chuckling to myself, I make Emery smile too. Her grabbing fingers grip one of mine, making Hayden giggle as I turn to face him. Facing the other children I ask, "Did you guys watch a movie on the way here, or sleep?"

It's a long drive for young children, so I won't be surprised if they watched something, screamed, napped, got food and fought with each other on the way down. Eliza probably drove just so she wouldn't be the one to have to deal with them.

My cousin doesn't think she'll be a good mom at all but I don't think that's true. Besides, if she plans to stay with Asher I can tell he's a natural with kids. Even Link seems to be good with them.

They all answer me at once, like most kids do, and are constantly moving but as they keep talking I notice how Rose and Hayden are sitting down together.

Rosangel is a very bubbly girl, so usually when she's not interacting with everyone it worries me but right now Hayden is the shiest kid around. And she's just sitting there, holding hands with him and watching as he does the talking and makes funny faces to get her to laugh.

It's easy to see the crazy Thatch side in Rose, her reminding me of my Uncle Julian. They stay calm through everything but silent wild side in Hayden- -trust me, he can get wild on sugar rushes- -is definitely what pins him as sharing Carter blood. He reminds me of Aunt Emmeline.

Their friendship is adorable and in this family friendships last for lifetimes.

Well, if people get normal lifetimes anyway.

I probably won't live long enough to see this one out.

My attention is completely captured when Eliza claps, making my head snap over to her. When she was mute, she used it to get our attention all the time. More often than not, it's the motion instead of the sound that gets me to notice her.

"Who the fuck," She begins to sign angrily. "Are all those shit for brains staring at you like you skinned their puppy?"

Tensing, I raise my head up and lock eyes with Violet's brown ones. The upset in her features make me wince, the smile falling off my face.

Her being upset is not good for me.

I shrug, eyes dropping to the ground as I hold baby Emery tighter. "That's N-O-N-I-E group, they aren't used to someone being around me."

Saying 'Nonnie' over again until Eliza pieces it together, I catch her harsh gaze sharpen at the four. "Nonnie's group, sure. Why are they looking at you like that?"

Shaking my free hand out nervously, I look to the ground again. "I think it's because I'm supposed to be holding her bags. Sorry, it's not a big deal."

Without warning, my cousin turns to the four and begins to snap at them. "Don't look at him like that you absolute f-"

"The kids." Asher says, stepping directly behind his girlfriend and putting his hand over her mouth. "No cussing."

As though it's my fault that the wolf girl acted the way she did, one by one the four's accusatory glares shift from the couple to me.

It makes me feel odd, as though I need to protect the three kids- -who crowded to me when Eliza went off- -and myself. 

I don't like feeling this way.

"Come on Squirt, not in front of the mini's." I tell her, motioning down to Rosangel and Hayden who are holding onto one another and Micah, who's holding onto the back of my jacket. "Pull up your dignity pants and zip up."

"You're doing this to yourself again, A and you know it isn't right." She snarls, her too-blue eyes glaring up at me.

"You don't know about them, or the situation." My words are calm, not wanting to upset Emery. "I'm okay. Give them a chance."

She crosses her arms, begrudgingly and silently agreeing.

I smile at her, thankful. "This is Avery Perkins, he's blond, Jason Malinowski who's the tall one and Macy Cho, the girl with green hair. And Violet Thompson, she's the one I mentioned to you."

Eliza scoffs loudly, "That's her. Seriously?"

"Elle." I say her name as a warning. "Drop it."

"But-"

"Squirt, I'm being serious." I ruffle Micah's head playfully, making him chuckle to himself and it also reminds Eliza that the kids are around. "No underage midget's are allowed in my adult business and the little creatures don't need any stress. Check yourself before you wreck yourself."

The wolf girl, now mad and not willing to do anything about that, stomps her foot while growling at me. "I'm not underage or a midget! I'm four years younger than you, jerk, that makes me 19. I'm over five foot, so even legally I'm not a midget. Don't act like Xander now." She starts to grumble. "This was supposed to be a nice surprise present for you but I don't know how nice it will be if you have your head up your butt the whole time. Check yourself first, buddy."

"My place, yeah?" I continue on like nothing happened, watching as Asher has to nod for the still glaring Eliza. "I just have to tell Nonnie what's going on, y'all can leave before me. I did walk here."

"Your place is three miles away and you walked?"

"Calm down Elle, I came from work. It's six blocks away."

I have a feeling that telling her this only works because my cousin doesn't know that I came from work because I didn't sleep last night and stayed at work the whole time after helping Violet into the end of the afternoon. 

If she knew that, I'd more than likely be forced to go straight home, eat, shower and nap. Taking care of myself was more exhausting than anything else and I really don't have to deal with, well, myself today.

So thankfully, she doesn't know that.

"My bike's in the back of Link's trunk, if you want to bring that down for me I can drive us both to your work." Eliza suggests. "You're doing that. Ew, gross, stop doing that."

Taken aback, I raise an eyebrow. "Doing what?"

"Looking at me, without your glasses on. It's weird. Like, I know you got contacts a while ago but I'm still not used to those nerdy frames not being on your face." She grumbles, blue eyes dropping before looking back up at her boyfriend -causing her to grin. "Hey, Gold?"

Hesitantly, knowing the mischievous look she had a little too well, Asher gulps before asking. "Yeah?"

"Want to see how dorky Atticus looked with-"

In a single motion I swipe Eliza's phone from her and hold it above my head. "Watch it, midget. I still have all the videos of you doing stupid shit with Xander, the fire with CJ and the dumb thing you and Trev did all the time in the basement. Expose me, I expose you."

"Who's, who's Trev?" Asher asks a little nervously, eyes jumping between me and his girl. "Blue?"

"Oh," Elle flashes her sharp teeth at him in her feral smirk, looking up at her nice guy. "Trevis is one of EJ and CJ's friends, since the twins and A' all went to high school together, he went with us any time we goofed around. I met them when I was like, fifteen, I think? I don't know, but we always practice our tumbling together and once I went through his basement wall. We dare each other, it's stupid, but really fun."

I'm well aware that I shouldn't be amused by the bad decisions my cousin has made but I am, and can't help but to add on, "Not only did she go through the wall, but she also gave me a concussion once kicking me in the back of the head doing a tuck even though I told her not to, since I was already doing my set across the space."

"You know how to do flips like her?" Link, finally pitching into the conversation, asks.

At this point I once again forgot we have an audience of four.

"Please," I scoff, ruffling Elle's brown curls  -her phone still in my pocket. "I'm the one who taught her how to do all that. I also taught her how to fight, just like her dad. That's why she fight well so easily. And if she ever loses, or get's hit, it's because she let herself get beat up."

"Hey!" Eliza exclaims, growling lowly at me. "I don't let myself get beat up, I just happen to not care enough sometimes to do the beating up."

Asher, knowing that's a lie, grabs his girlfriend by the sides and pulls her into him. She doesn't protest, but obviously doesn't like the golden boy knowing that about her. 

After all, about her pain, the wolf girl is very private.

"I'm gonna go tell Nonnie that I'm leaving," I say. "Then I'll grab my bike from work."

As the group behind me disperses, I turn to look at Violet's group.

Before  any one can get a word out, little Rosangel runs up to me, her brown doe eyes widening as she sees the new people and instantly turning to be held by her favorite cousin. "Uppie!" 

Picking her up just like asked, I almost smile as she buries her face into my shoulder, obviously feeling shy. I think Hayden is rubbing off on her.

I don't smile though and it's just because I'm around Violet.

Trying to stay a shell around my family is much, much harder than I expected it to be.

"I got you Angel," Chuckling slightly before I catch the look of disgust Avery sends me at hearing it. "Uh...my um, I have to leave. And you said you didn't want me around this weekend, so it's just today that I can't, uh, can't do what you wanted me to."

I wince, almost expecting to be yelled at as my eyes drop down to the ground.

"I'll be home if you need -if you want me to do something for you, and um, I probably won't be back until Monday night too."

"Atti?" Hayden, who I didn't notice put is now pulling on my leg, asks. I raise an eyebrow, smiling softly. "Can I play on your phone?"

"'Course." I instantly agree, pulling out his phone and unlocking it before handing it to the five year old. "And anyway I-"

I cut myself off when I see the odd way they're all looking at me. Rose being here just makes feel more protective. Wrapping my arm around her tighter, I clench my jaw.

"Just call me if you want something, and if you really need help just come to my place."

"Okay?" Violet says, sounding softer than she normally does when talking, but then her tone quickly changes into the one I'm used to hearing. "I don't know where you live."

I look at her levelly, not a glare, but not the way I'd imagine she wants to be looked at. "I'll send you it."

Suddenly a weight settles to my back, making me grunt. I quickly realize it's just Eliza, based on Rose's soft "Wolfie!" as she stares over to Elle -who is clinging to me like a monkey.

Ignoring my wild cousin, I look back to Nonnie. "Are you okay with that?"

"Why wouldn't she be?" Jason sneers, eyes narrowing into a glare. What the brunet didn't expect was for Eliza to bare sharp teeth at him and growl, a lot like a wolf would, which prompts the actual half-wolf at my feet to do the same. "W-what the f-"

"Watch your language around her." I say, voice cold. Realizing how that sounded, I instantly become softer, not wanting to upset the two kids. "Please."

"Hey A' I wanna race Link to your house so can we leave or do you need her to unclip your leash still?" There's venom clear in Elle's voice, making me wince.

"He's not on a leash." Violet says. "He's literally free to do anything he wants, it's his choice to act the way he does."

At hearing this, Eliza's hands tighten on my shoulders. "Oh? How does he act around you?"

"Eliza." I say her name as a warning, turning my head to glare at her. "Leave it."

"No, I want to hear." Eliza says, clearly not swayed on her war path.

"I can tell you when we get back to mine, you have to chill. There's nothing you can do, and nothing I want you to do."

"You said that when you were-"

"Stop it Eliza, I don't want to talk about that." My voice still soft but it leaves no room for argument. "Uh...bye, I guess."

Violet gives a small half nod, and begins to turn away.

It's then Eliza hops down and comes in front of me, a shit eating still half-angry grin on her face. "Why don't you tell him who's picking up you tiny humans tomorrow so we can have fun?" 

Rosangel chirps "Celeste!" in an excited voice.

"Cellie's dropping by?" My smile speaks for myself. "What did you have planned for the oh so magnificent weekend?"

"Well, when the kids are here I brought water balloons since you got your oh so fancy underground pool up and running," Elle responds, matching my sarcasm. "And we're gonna have wars doing that, since Em and Bailey is getting picked up tonight. For the plans when they leave, let's just leave it at I brought vodka."

Running a hand through my hair I ask, "Cherry?"

She rolls her eyes, "Of course it's cherry, I know what you like."

"Thatch!" My head snaps do to Violet when she calls my name, bag in hand, making the half-smirk fall from my lips. "I'm coming."

"You're what?"