It's so hard to let go
I am finally at peace, but it feels wrong
I gather all my reserves and creep by the spinney till I see you
As you gaze at the moon, so forlorn.

I gasp at your timeless beauty
You're a dream come to life
Chiselled out of some godly marble
A cherished treasure I couldn't touch.

Running fingers along my ice-cold cheek
I realise how plain I was to be allowed to seek
Something so precious like you
No doubt what you did, I whisper to the trees.

You were a prince with that sword by your side
As you rode your dark steed on our wedding day,
I was in awe to behold you;
Were you real or a figment of my dreams?

Yet you wanted nothing to do with me
A distant figure burdened with dreams
You wanted to be set free from this unwanted union
I was always the naïve wraith waiting for a reunion.

Your cold words dashed all my dreams
I'd rile you up and make you scream
Just to hear your voice washing over me
It was some rare honey, and I the desperate bee.

I wanted you to hold me close and tell that it will be fine in the end
I could almost feel the ghost of your lips on my forehead
You will never know about those cold nights I spent
Weeping and clutching a pillow to my chest.

I wanted to reach out and touch you for once
But feared what you would say
Can you please just look at me once?
See how much I crave your warmth and your love?

I love you so much that it still hurts
It's like glasses shearing through my lungs
You held my heart in your hands
Clenching it too tightly, watching as it bled.

I love you way too much so I couldn't survive you
Don't they say what you love ought to destroy you?
That, love is love only when you let it consume you whole
Until nothing remains of you, not even your soul.

Tell me, love, does beauty and cruelty come in a blend?
Did bashing that rock against my face soothed some of your hidden ache?
I whimpered as you did the deed
I should have stopped you or screamed, but was too glad that you finally touched me even if in hate.

Death came then and took me in her loving arms
She wanted me to leave, but I knew I just can't
Not without telling you about my love
Hear the trees rustle, telling you of my hurt.

Now here I stand, a mere chudail
A thing of shadows and tears unshed
It's time to say goodbye, I guess,
Will you not look back once and say farewell?

~•~