Charlie Waters

Charlie's POV:

I failed.

I failed to make a friend.

My first day back and I can't even do the simple task of making fucking friends? What kind of dumb fuck am I?

First day back and I have no one. People at school avoiding me and turning the other way when they see me. Trying their best to avoid eye contact with me.

The fuck did I do? I only beat up a dumb fuck who deserved what I did to him. He tried to hurt my sister, I just put him in his place. That disgusting prick.

And what's up with that Melanie girl? She's scaring me. When I saw her, I felt weird. Almost like no one else existed and we were the only two people left on this hopeless world.

My heart hurt when I saw her.

I think it's because I can tell. I know she wants to kill herself.

Because I do too.

This world started to slip away from me the moment my mother died. I started to lose myself and lose connection to the earth. Almost like I mentally started disappearing but physically, I was still in tact.

She and my mother are what kept me at ground zero. But now, my mother is gone and my sister hasn't been the same since the incident. She's scarred and I don't blame her.

However, my dad is dead to me. And I'll be dead to him sooner or later once I kill myself. Maybe then, he'll notice me. Maybe then, he'll realise how I felt, how he made me feel. How deep his words cut. How those bruises created me into the person I am today.

How society failed me. Punished me and took away a part of my life that I will never get back for beating up someone who doesn't deserve a life. They punished me but they never punished him. My sister and probably many other girls will never be brought to justice. Fuck that.

How I have no one by my side. And how I never will. I'll die a lonely 16-year-old who cut his own life short because of problems the world will deem as, "normal teenage behaviour."

Once I'm dead they'll say that I killed myself for nothing. That it wasn't worth it. That if I had held on for a bit longer, I would've gotten over it.

But they don't know how it feels like. To be alone. Everyday. Just plain and utter loneliness.

I don't hear anyone or feel anyone anymore. My heart isn't there. It's scary. I'm just alone. Alone with all my thoughts and feelings in this empty world. It's just me in my life, and no one else beside me. All I hear, see, feel, and touch is me.

I just need someone, anyone to save me. But my chances of being saved are slim to none. No one expects the popular guy to be suicidal. But I'm ex-popular. You'd think that maybe they'd realise then. But no, still no. It's only me in this cruel world.

So, before I end it all. I'll make it my mission to save someone. That someone being Melanie Hall. I'm making a promise to save her because I can tell she wants to be saved. I can tell she's tired. Exhausted, even, of all the pain and suffering. So I'll end it instead of her ending it.

I know exactly the pain she feels, and it pains me to know that she's feeling it too. So before I go, I'll save her.

Melanie Hall will live.

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605 words
01/12/22

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