Umatras ako nang inangat niya ang kanyang kamay upang ako ay maabot. The attempt was cautious yet it never assured me any refuge. Not after what just came to my knowledge that should have kept me in the loop from the start.

Pinapahinahon ko ang aking hikbi nang mga sandaling iyon. Muling maingat na hakbang ni Dean ay atras ng takot ang aking sinumbat. Tinitigan ko ang kanyang sapatos na tila iyon ang kailangan kong bantayan na kalaban. It shifted, but it never lifted a step.

"Ba't ka sumunod?" My voice quivered as I commenced. "This is what you want to see? Now you can rejoice, Dean."

Suminghot ako at pinunasan ang basa kong pisngi. Muli akong lumayo sa kanyang paglapit. I held on to the hand rail, hoping its stability would remind me of my residual strength.

"Hindi ito ang gusto ko..."

"Bullshit!" I reined in a sob that's about to rupture once again. Malalim ang hinila kong hangin upang tulungang kumalma pati ang nanginginig kong paghinga.

A horrible realization came over when I met his worried gaze. Muling lumabo ang aking paningin sa nagbabadyang luha. A many-headed beast of anger sprang to life within me.

"You knew...You chose to hide this from me for what?" Pumatak ang luhang sumilip lang kanina. They all screamed blame and disloyalty.

"You shouldn't have known." Sinamahan niya iyon ng marahan na pag-iling.

"Bakit? Bakit hindi ko na kailangang malaman? Buong buhay ko umaasa akong inagaw lang ang buhay na para sa amin ni Sue at ni daddy. I was left to hold with that hope. Tapos malalaman ko na wala pala akong dapat asahan. Na sana noon pa tinigil ko na ang ilusyon na iyon dahil wala akong uuwian na matatawag kong buo. Kahit sa pag-asa...wala...Bunga ako ng isang pagtataksil, Dean!"

Luha ang sumabay sa bawat buhos ng mga salita. Yumuko ako, hindi mapigil ang hagulhol habang mahigpit na kumakapit sa hand rail na tanging dumadamay sa akin. Nilalamukot ang puso ko sa mga bagay na hindi kailanman sumagi sa isip ko noon. Sa galit, sa inaasahang pagpapatawad at pagbabalik na hindi na kailanman tatagpuin ang kasalakuyan. Na hindi na sasalubong sa mga tahimik kong kahilingan.

All along, I was hopeful for our mother's reconciliation. Like a child yearning for her present on white Christmas. I couldn't find it in my heart just yet so in the meantime, I was all resentful and envious. Her elucidation could have likely be the hook for the evading reunion but the truth itself indeed, has set me free from all those secret hopes.

Now I suppose I am disappointment's favorite daughter. Imperfection's long lost lover. And a committed woman's mistake.

Sinatinig ko ang aking daing at pag-iwas nang nahawakan ni Dean ang aking braso. Umiling ako at nagpumiglas. It's too late for comfort, and I am in no need for anyone's pity.

"Why are you with Jillian? You've both plotted this?" paratang ko pagkatapos mapakalma ang sarili.

"No."

"Gusto niyo akong pagtulungan? Ha?" matapang kong diin, walang makapang paniniwala. "Now you see me like this, Dean, how does it feel? Victorious? Like a bad-ass king shouting that finally, you've witnessed the bitter girl who discarded you on your wedding day crying and being hopeless?!"

Punong-puno ito ng panunumbat at sarkastiko.

Buong magdamag ay tinitigan niya ako. I didn't allow the odd glint in his eyes to slide an icy finger along my spine. Tila ba ay hinahamon niya pa akong paratangan siya at patuloy niya naman itong itatanggi dahil alam niyang kahibangan ang mga bintang ko.

The click in his jaw told me he was silently warring himself to shout. Or to make any moves of denial.

"I knew it would injure you like this so I thought there's no need for it to reach you," he said, in a tone of calm and sharp cold. "Oo, may karapatan kang malaman pero para saan pa? The mistake has been made."

"And you made me feel like everything was my fault!"

His lips parted in disbelief of my accusation, surprised at the sudden drift of the subject. Wala na itong kinalaman sa mga nalaman ko kung 'di sa hinaing na kinimkim ko para lang magpaamo.

"When did I say that I blamed you for everything?" Disbelieving, he paused for a moment and I noticed his rapid breathing. Parang iniipon niya ang mga dahilan kung bakit nauwi ako sa ganoong pasya. "An explanation is uncalled for, Ruth. Dahil alam kong hindi mo kasalanan. Na wala sa atin ang dapat sisihin."

Natatawa akong naluluha habang umiiling. Nangangapa ng paniniwala galing sa kanya. I don't think I'm capable of believing anyone anymore. Not even from my own resolve. He has to give me enough of a truth to satisfy my disbelief.

"Titigan mo lang ako Dean para mo na akong sinasaksak at gusto mong ulit-ulitin kahit wala na akong hininga! I'm the bane of your existence that you couldn't wait to get rid of. Hindi pa ba sapat ang nalaman mo tungkol sa akin na pagkakamali lang ako? Galit ang sinalubong mo nang magkita ulit tayo!"

"And d'you think that was meant for you?" He asked as if it was ridiculous.

"Yes! I know it was for me! At hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit! Bakit, Dean?! Just tell me now so you can get rid of me like I'm some shit on your shoe!"

Isang kabig sa akin ay tumama ako sa kanyang matigas na dibdib. My sobs were muffled by how I was pressed so tightly against him like losing hold of me might call for the world's doom. With all of my might, I pushed him away but he stayed stubborn and unmoving. Kumulong ang braso niya sa aking likod at ang isang kamay ay sa aking ulo, mas binabaon sa kanyang dibdib.

I objected to this as I cried harder. Pinagsisikan ko ang mga kamao upang malaya siyang masuntok. He pulled a little to let me abuse his chest with my punching fists, with blames amd tears. Yet that never let his steel of an arm and hands fell slack.

"Let me go now, Dean, please. I'll risk with the breach of contract and pay in any amount just...pakawalan mo na ako sa kontrata. I quit." I said without even thinking about it.

Akala ko ay makakalaya na ako. Ngunit niluwagan niya lang ang hawak upang mas hilain pa ako pabalik at higpitan.

I felt his slow and deep inhalation on my hair as he massaged my scalp to aid for my calm. Ang pagpupumiglas ko ay siya nang sumusuko sa akin. I mustered some advantage to no avail.

"Why do you always quit rightaway, Ruth?" His challenging whisper was hoarse. "You always stay at that ground of your hate without fail rather than go your way and fight against them."

Gamit ang lumuluwang niyang hawak ay nakawala ako sa isang tulak. Surprised, it took him seconds to reclaim his hold on me. Hindi na niya ako hinila ulit kaya nagawa naming magkatitigan. Our eyes are two opposing poles of understanding and disbelieving.

"It's useless to fight! And you..." I stabbed a finger on his chest. "If you're going to fight every step of your way to me, I would no longer allow you to push me away, Dean." It was a steel decision.

Looking at him, it was as if he knew that this is how it would end and took this with a secret protest. A sign of guilt is nowehere to be found but hope masked with determination. He was almost as vulnerable as I am but he knows all too well how to rein it in.

Muli akong umiling. Everyone's just getting good at putting on their hides.

"I'm willing to grovel," his silent voice but full of intent.

Kita ko sa mukha niya na alam niyang hindi ito magiging madali ngunit handa niyang gawin. That there's no way that I would make this a child's play for him.

Malaki ang hinakbang ko nang muli siyang lumapit. I was almost at the edge of the first stair step going down when I stopped.

"You can start now. Be my guest."

Hindi siya nagsalita. Kapwa kami walang imik. Ngunit kahit nanunuya ang pagpapakilala niya sa kung ano mang nilalaman na emosyon sa kanyang mga mata ay pinasilip niya pa rin sa akin ang kasagutan.

While I want to say something. Ngunit pinagtataguan ako ng mga salita. What's speaking in behalf of my words are our irregular breaths and heartbeats.

Umingit ang pinto ng exit room at hindi ko inasahan ang dumungaw na mukha. I don't know with Dean, though. If he was expecting her, or he followed me all the way here with her.

"Dean, you have to go back. Hindi pa tapos ang shoot."

Hindi ko naitago ang irap ko. Dean saw it dahil hindi siya nagbibitaw ng titig sa akin. Tila may gusto pang malaman gamit ng mga mata at gusto niya tuloy-tuloy ang daloy ng impormasyon.

"You go ahead. You don't have to tail me here, Jillian." He spoke to me.

"But Dean—"

Dean's face sculpted into sheer irritation as he was about to turn to her. Ngunit naunahan ko na siyang bago pa niya maisatinig ang pagtataboy.

"Sumunod ka na." Walang lasa ang aking tono.

Dean's eyes narrowed into slits. "Is that a command, Ruth?"

"Dean..." si Jillian.

"Susunod siya, Jillian," sabi ko sabay baling sa kanya sa pinto. "We're still talking here, why do you always love to barge in? Matuto kang makisama sa respeto."

Tila pagana iyon sa kanya upang maging maliksi nang tumuwid ang kanyang tayo. Tuluyan siyang pumasok sa exit room.

"Babalik siya ng studio na kasama ako." She looked and sounded as determined as a warrior.

Nag-taas ako ng kilay, walang balak umatras."Bakit? Mamamatay ka ba kapag hindi mo siya kasama pabalik?"

I heard her huff even when she did it in silence. Pairap niyang binalingan si Dean na walang planong magbitaw sa pagtitig sa akin. Grovel, huh.

"Let's go back, Dean." Tunog nag-uutos.

His lips jerked before it went into a straight thin line. "You heard her."

"But..."

Dean's head turning seems like a zoom. At sa isang tingin niya napapaso si Jilliann mga mata nito dahilan ng pagbaba niya ng tingin na tila natadyakang tuta. Kita ko kung paano niya kinukuyumos ang ibabang bahagi ng kanyang coat, namimilipit sa pagka-ilang at takot.

Ngunit nang maghandog ng tingin sa akin ay malayo ito sa kung paano niya sinalubong ang kay Dean. I suddenly regret why I cared about her before, despite of our situation that calls for me to stay resentful.

"Don't stall him for too long," she said as if she posessed the highest position.

Nag-isang sulyap pa siya sa amin na tumagal at huminto kay Dean bago umalis na hindi pinagtagpo ang pinto at ang pintuan.

We both strained our ears for her steps treading away from our hearing's horizon. Tumambay ang paningin ko sa siwang sa pinto. I could still sense Dean looking at me at hindi ko alam kung bakit at ano ang iniisip niya.

"Release me from the contract. " Ito ang unang nahagip na sasabihin at sinunggaban ko na.

I could pick up on his quiet defiance. Sa bahagayang galaw ng kanyang kilay at pagtiim bagang ay mukhang malayong mangyari ang aking gusto.

"No."

Nanliit ang mga mata ko. "Bakit?"

"Just no. I won't let you go."

The heat in my face is hard to ignore but I managed, including my frenzied heartbeat. How could he muster a gut saying that after everything from the way he's been acting towards me? The hell I will make this easy for him. Kahit mas magaan ang pagkakamali niya kesa sa iba, if I'm a scorned woman, I'll take no bullshit.

One condescending look at him, I turned away and out of the door. He followed behind.

Hindi ako ang tipong isang linggo ang pagluluksa para sa mga bagay na dapat iyakan kaya bumalik ako sa mga gawain na tila walang nangyari. This is where I'm good at. This is where I excel. To pretend that everything's fine.

Maraming tawag at mensahe ang tinanggap ko galing sa mga humihingi ng time availability ni Dean. From show promoters, radio station staffs for the guesting and a clothing brand offer. Palabas kami ng studio building at lipumpon na mga tagahanga ang nag-aabang sa labas.

Nakakabasag tenga na tilian nang makita ang banda. Hindi ko marinig ang sinasabi sa kabilang linya kaya naisip kong magpatiuna. There are bouncers to shield the band, anyway.

"Hello, ma'am? Yes?"

I strained my left ear while I covered the right one while approaching a corner. Double tasking, naghihintay rin akong matapos sila sa pagpipirma sa mga autographs at selfies.

Ngumiwi ako nang may nanaig na pinakamatinis at nakakabinging tili ng taon. Tumalon iyon at halos matumba si Dean nang nakayakp ito.

"...to have Mr. Dean Ortigoza as our new brand ambassador of our clothing brand."

Hindi ko naabutan ang unang sinabi nito.

"You're asking for his schedule? Kailan ba ang launching nila bilang brand ambassador?" eksperto kong usisa na tila nasubaybayan ang sinasabi nito.

"We would commence with a meeting first then doon na pag-uusapan ang launching."

Pahirapan kong kinuha ang planner at doon naghanap ng available na araw. The radio station visit was already taken up on a weekend, what's in attendance was the in between shows and the hometown concert in Cebu next week.

An unknown feeling soared in my system by the mention of hometown. I had asked Dean for my release from the contract. Kung doon na ako aalis sa pagbabalik namin sa Cebu ay baka doon mas mapadali ang pagbitaw ko.

Yet now I am not sure of it anymore. It could be that a spur of the moment occurred within the state of calamity in my mind and emotions. A piece of a distant memory, I say.

"Miss Ruth? Kailan po ang available schedule?"

Hinila ang diwa ko sa boses at agad itong pinaunlakan. I brought myself back at the task at hand which is to check on the planner.

"Uh-Uhm...Thursday this week," sabi ko, sinubukang tanawin sa isip ang mangyayari ngunit wala itong inaalay na imahe. I can't imagine my plans! As though it was just an empty threat against the probable future, all bark and no bite.

Kinagabihan ay hindi ako sumama sa studio para sa kanilang rehearsal. I don't think Dean want me to anyway. Isinawalang bahala ko na lang ang pagbabawal. To forbid me or not, eitherway, my resolve would still prioritize staying at his condo.

Nakahilata sa kama, kusang bumalik ang mga sinabi ni Marcus. If he was seven when Elena and his father married, and he is twenty eight now, I must probably be around three of four years old when that happened. At si Sue...she is two years younger than me and was around the same age as Jillian...

"No..." Was she already married before she conceived me? Possible.

Mabilis akong napaupo, binibingi sa kalabog ng aking puso. Ang lalim ng aking kunot noo ay ang lalim din kung paano ko ito sinubukang hanapan ng pagtanggi. I don't want to believe whatever the situation is offering me right now.

Tatawagan ko ba si daddy? To confront Elena should be the second best choice that claimed my rationale but the rest of me withstood. I just don't want to see reason on how my father participated on that mistake. At least, that's what I only have to assume.

Namalayan ko ang pag-uwi ni Dean dahil sa pagpihit ng pinto ng aking kwarto. I ordered my lungs to breath in regular motion, salungat sa desperasyon kong huminga ng mabilis.

Each silent and menacing pound of his shoe sounds like a countdown for my time bomb heart. His shadow veiled my feign-sleeping frame like a looming villain. Bumilis ang kalabog ng puso ko.

I was not unaware on how I was able to come up with that decision a while ago. Yet, I was also unsure what made me stop this time. Kasi noon ay kung makasabi ako na hindi ako titigil hanggang hindi makuha ang gusto ko mula sa kanya ay binawi ko lahat. A subject about my mother was a strong nerve to hit for me to give this all up. And the people that I thought I could trust regardless of the rift that divided us, could no longer be the one of my trusted ones, just took the cake for me.

I used to entrust him my heart. My secrets. The only one who doesn't care about my mean demeanors. My first love. My first real open kiss. And that teenage boy I was so willing to risk my first everything. And with all the boys I left before, he was the one and only boy who left me with a purpose for his dreams without the intent to break me, but I'd still hope for our love in the end. I believe that he had love me first, and fell even deeper as I began to fall for him altogether. Harder. He was my first heartbreak, with me who did the breaking.

I guess his pride did the job for him. That pride which seems to be a strong word that entails king, arrogance master and royalty. But truth is, pride could make us the weaker agent. Just to save the ego, to save yourself from the shame, your fear for embarassement that makes him a coward for me.

Pero ang iba ay sinasalba ito dahil iyon na lang ang natitira. Iyon na lang ba talaga? I know there's still the courage within to risk yourself hurting, falling and losing yourself over the pain again. But since they choose the kind of pride that entails the lack of bravery, they don't do it. They sit back, relax and watch over other people's hearts breaking while they maintained theirs to a safety.

"Sorry..."

Namilog na ang mga mata ko nang dumilat. I was neither dreaming nor deaf, right?

Hindi ko alam kung napagtanto ni Dean na gising nga ako dahil bigla na lang akong huminto sa paghinga pagkatapos ng sinabi niya!

My back is facing him. I felt and heard his movements from the wind that rushed to me and the sound of a bone clicking.

Desperada nang sumabog ang puso ko nang gumalaw ang kama sa aking likod. The aircon is off, and it is beyond me how his hot breath was able to invade through the white thick comforter and touched the hair shafts on my back.

"God, what have I done..."

Ang boses niyang tila nahihirapan ay nagpaakyat sa mga luha sa aking mga mata, pinipiga ng puso kong kinukuyumos. My several blinks played the mother role of stopping the tears from falling like rebelling kids running out to play on a Monday night.

He pulled a deep breath before stepping out of the room. Sa pagsara ng pinto, pinakawalan ko ang hangin na ilang minuto kong pinigilan. My chest ached. I wonder how I'd be able to sleep with my heart aching as a lullaby.

Breakfast was an awkward affair. Nauna akong gumising kahit matagal bago ako nakatulog kagabi. Naghahain ako sa almusal nang pumasok si Dean sa dining na presko, mabango at nakabihis na.

I didn't spare him a glance. While I sensed his stare nudging me to look at him.

Maliwanag ang buong paligid dahil sa glass walls na nagpapasok sa sinag ng liwanag sa labas ngunit ulan yata ang babagsak sa makulimlim naming pakikitungo.Ang namayaning ingay ay sa mga kubyertos sa plato, lapag ng baso, pagnguya at pag inom. If this isn't awkward then I don't know what is.

Napaigtad ako nang tumama ang paa niya sa paa ko. It wasn't painful but I was till shocked! Busangot ang hinatid ko sa kanya.

Angat ang kilay niya na hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa gulat din sa nangyari o may gusto siyang pagtawanan na hindi siya sigurado kung katawa-tawa, o isang sikreto na hindi pa nakaabot sa aking kaalaman.

He blinked. Bahagya siyang ngumuso saka tumikhim at binalikan ang pagkain sa kanyang plato. Tipid niyang kinamot ang buhok bago ito sinuklay sa kanyang kamay.

"Sorry."It was a murmur before he delivered his slice of bacon to his mouth.

Nanatili ang tingin ko sa kanya. His word reminds me of last night. No matter how insistent I was to do anything to have what I asked for from him, I still ended up wanting him to take orders from me. The only thing he has a control over me is this love. Pagmamahal lamang.

I silently resumed to my intake of food. Sinaksak ko ang tinidor sa ulam at isusubo na sana nang maramdaman ulit ang pagtama ng paa niya!

Binaba ko ang mga kubyertos at binagsak ang likod ko sa silya. Mariin ko siyang tinitigan na nagpapatuloy sa pag kain.

"What is it, Dean?" my tone was crowned with impatience.

Mukha pa siyang gulat nang pinaunlakan ang tanong ko. I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Huh? Nothing. I didn't do anything." And he is acting innocent, too!

"You're hitting my foot," giit ko.

"Huh? Hindi ko alam." Sumilip siya sa ilalim. Namilog ang mga mata ko dahil naka skirt lang ako. "Baka si Sunita iyon. Sunny...yuhoo..." malambing nitong sambit.

My God Dean! Cats use their paws to scratch! They don't kick!

"You're hitting my foot." muli kong giit, sa mas malakas na boses at kalahating panggigigil.

Lumbas ang ulo niya sa mesa at walang Sunita na lumapit. Lumunok siya saka pinadaan ang labi sa kanyang dila dahilan upang mamula iyon at mabasa.

Agad kong binalik akyat ang paningin sa kanyang mga mata. Unease started to grow within me as I saw that glint of humor.

"Sorry." He reiterated, this time with a ghost of a smile that came to haunt and play.

Lumalim ang busangot ko. Kung dise otso ka pa ngayon Dean maiintindihan ko pa. Pero kasi dalawampung limang taon ka na, kinalawang na iyang stilo mo. I've had my fair share of boys with those overtures so I knew what he is doing.

"Ngayon ba 'yong music video shoot?" tanong niya.

Humihigop ako ng kape habang pinapanood ang pagbawas ng pagkain sa kanyang plato. I'm waiting for him to finish eating so I can wash the dishes.

Tango ang tugon ko sa kanyang tanong. Wala na siyang imik pagkatapos.

Dahil sa umagang traffic ay isang oras ang inabot namin bago nakarating sa eskwelahan na pagdadausan ng video shoot. Student's started to flock on the corridors just to get a glimpse of the band. Kung hindi pa on-going ang mga klase ay paniguradng dudumugin ito at matagal bago sila makapagsimula.

Walang may alam na may gaganapin na video shooting. Kaya naman minadali pa yata ang paggawa ng mga tagahangang estudiyante ng signage sa bondpaper at pinakita ito sabay sigaw sa pangalan ng bawat miyembro. Only the higher admin knew about this since nai-meeting na ito last week.

The cameras are ready including the staffs. Hindi ko alam ang concept at dahil wala naman akong masyadong ginagawa ay nakinig na lang ako sa kanila.

"First scene dito..."

"Do I have to borrow a uniform?" tanong ni Dean.

May bakas pa na guyliner sa kanya nang tinitigan ko kausap ang direktor ng music video. Nagmumukha siyang kontrabidong pirata dagdagan pa ng pulang bandana niyang nakapulupot sa ulo.

"No, hindi na. Maybe you can just wear a white shirt and the dark jeans."

Tumango si Dean, nakahalukiphip. His height intimidating over the director. Mukha siyang seryoso dahil sa salubong niyang kilay ngunit hindi ko pa rin tukoy ang ekspresyon niya dahil sa clubmaster sunglasses nitong dinidepina ang hugis ng kanyang mukha at tangos ng ilong.

"There's no need for a script na rin. Lip synch lang sa kanta habang umaarte ka. And speak through your eyes tulad nung video niyo last year," ani Colby, Patrick's brother, na suki na rin ng banda bilang direktor ng mga music videos nila.

Nahagip ko si Wilmer na taimtim na kinakalabit ang gitara nitong gagamitin sa shoot mamaya. They're under the mango tree. Katabi niya ang kapatid na si Sky na seryoso sa cellphone at kinukulit naman ni Cashiel.

"Ano, Jace, wala pa ba? Pupunta pa tayong Pangasinan para sa ending."

Colby seems so impatient while waiting for his assistant to end the call. Lukot na rin ang mukha nito na tila ang laki ng problema.

"Tsk, " ani nito at binaba ang tawag at problemadong umiling. "Hindi talaga makakarating, boss. Kailangan daw ng mga promoter si ma'am Jaillin, e. Siya kasi ang main endorser nung aesthetic clinic kung saan siya pumuti."

So siya rin pala ang katambal ni Dean dito. Why are they so determined to push their rumored affair together.

"Sino ba kausap mo?" tanong ni Colby.

"Si Madam Vee. Nagtaka nga ako, e. 'Di ba iyong mommy niya ang manager ni Jaillin?"

"Maybe tita Elle's busy. May hina-handle si Madam Vee na kasama yata bilang endorser. Siguro magkasma sila." si Dean ang sumagot.

Napairap ako. And he knows about her schedules, too? Bumuntong hininga si Colby at sinubukang i-compose ang sarili para masolusyunan ito.

"Kung alam naman pala niyang may commitment siya ngayon ay bakit sumang-ayon pa siya sa video shoot?" sumabat na ako, hindi napigil ang hinaing.

Well it's not that I like her to be here. Gusto ko lang i-highlight ang pagka unprofessional niya.

The three of them looked at me and in an instant I could sense their agreement.

"Actually nauna 'to, biglaan ang endorsement. Let's not dwell to this and find a solution."si Colby at muling huminga nag malalim, tila doon mahahanap ang sagot.

"Pwedeng hindi na lagyan ng love affair ang video, boss. Solo na lang na kumakanta si Dean." suhestiyon nung assistant.

"Well the song was talking about the girl. Tapos si Dean lang ang ipapakita sa camera? It would be a disappointment to see a music video of a chart topper song, then malayo ang concept sa kanta."

"You have to show the other members, too. We are a band so dapat hindi lang mukha ko ang ipapakita."

Hindi ko napigil at napasabay ako sa patango sa sinabi ni Dean. He's right.

"Tama..."si Jace, iyong assistant. "E boss, kung kumuha tayo sa mga sixth graders ng babae para itambal kay Dean? O di kaya ay ipakuha natin iyong muse ng eskwelahan."

Tahimik kami pagkatapos niyon maliban sa sabayang pagbigkas ng mga estudiyante. Colby's face I could tell seems to have started contemplating on the idea.

Kung ako ang tatanungin, hindi ako papayag. The girl might be too young to be Dean's lover. Puro highchool lang kaya ang nandito.

" Colby, can we talk?"

Sabay naming nilingon si Dean dito. He took off his glasses as he said that. His eyes mean business.

Colby didn't ask why and went to Dean. Lumayo sila at huminto malapit sa puno ng mangga. Napansin sila ni Wilmer na tumigil sa paggitara at nakuha na ring makinig. Sa mga mukha palang nila ay tila bawal silang paglaruan o biruin.

In my estimation, they'd talk for at least ten minutes. Bumalik sila na hindi ko maintindihan ang pag iiba ng aura sa kanilang mga mukha. Colby was almost to the verge of smiling. Namumula ang mukha nito.

Huminto sila sa harap ko.

Nag-angat ng kilay si Dean na agad namang umiwas at preskong ngumuso na tila may nakakaaliw. Yabang mo, a.

"Ruth..." Colby sounded to be weighing his words. Inangat niya ang kanyang kamay senyales na patapusin muna siya sa pagsasalita at intindihin ko ito.

"You'd be playing as Miss Seventeen..."

Umawang ang bibig ko. My vehement heartbeat spoke for my exclamation instead of letters of profanities.

"At ang ending...ikakasal kayo."

"Ano?" mariin kong tanong. I'm asking him not to repeat what he said. Gusto kong palitan niya ang sinasabi nito.

Huminga ng malalim si Colby at relax pumormal ng tayo, tila napakawalan na ang bigat sa kanyang dibdib.

"You're going to get married in a lighthouse." He grinned.

It took me several seconds to find my next question. At kahit may pakiramdam na ako sa sagot ay tinanong ko pa rin.

"Kaninong ideya 'to?"

The wind picked up. The dried leaves that fell on the ground dragged to the concrete as if they are dancing to the tune of the breeze. Hinawi ko ang hibla na tumakip sa aking mukha at nilagay sa likod ng aking tenga.

"Mine."

I turned to Dean and found his intense and semi-wide hazel greens. The hard features in his face is a constant brand of determination, the reason why it would be as close to impossible for everyone to see him break.

"Mine..." he repeated with a firm purpose. At iba ang pinapahiwatig nitong ibig sabihin sa akin.