I was a mess.

My cheeks were covered in tearstains. My eyes were red and puffy. My vision was going black at the edges. An emty bottle of firewhiskey was clutched in my right hand. I lay on the common room floor, my tangled hair spread out beneath me like a stain.

I threw the empty bottle in the trashcan nearby before picking up another bottle, popping off the cork as if I were on autopilot. 

Dad.

I love you Dad.

Will our new baby have to grow up without his or her father?

Was that even proper grammar?

I gulped down a large swig, and the burning sensation was instant. I clamped my hand over my mouth, biting down hard to keep from screaming. It worked. I had finally completely forgotten about Dad for a full second.

My victory was short lived.

Clutching my stomach, I ran into the bathroom, and vomited. I felt Aliena gently brush my hair back from my face, her cool hand rubbing my sweaty back. "It's fine," she said softly before I had a chance to apologize. When I was done, my throat was burning and I could hardly stand. I reached for my bottle, but Aliena shoved it away. 

"Dawn, you're a mess. Your dad is probably..." she trailed off. Anyone knew that being missing basically meant you were dead. "Is this what your dad would want you to do?"

"Give me that!" I snapped, throwing myself forward at the bottle. Big mistake. I landed on my stomach, and had to rush back to the bathroom. 

"What is your goal here? I'm not sure how fifty bottles of firewhiskey would help with your dad's case," Aliena said with a frown, throwing away the rest of the bottles. "Drinking firewhiskey hurts. The pain helps me forget about Dad being missing for, like, two seconds," I explained. An idea hit me. "Use the Cruciatus Curse! I bet I'll forget for a full minute!" "Absolutely not!" she gasped. I tried to run my fingers through my hair, but they just got stuck. I felt Aliena press a small bottle to my palm. Thinking it was fire whiskey, I took a large swig, but it wasn't. My vision returned fully, the nausea disappeared, and the drunk feelings faded. "I'll help you find your dad if you just stop doing this to yourself. I care about you, Dawn. I want you to be happy. So if finding your dad makes you happy, I will gladly help."

"I'll help too!" I turned to see Cuthbert, who was kneeling down beside me. I grinned at him. "Fine. But, if this doesn't work out, I'm going back to the firewhiskey."