Ashley

His lips pressed against mine and butterflies erupted in my stomach. The desire in his green eyes—

Gosh, this wasn't working. Hitting the backspace, I pressed my palms to my eyes. I shouldn't have given my character green eyes. Because now every time I tried to write, all I could think of was Kris. And soon my characters would vanish altogether and I would end up imagining Kris and me in their places.

Oh, to be a writer and to like someone. My imagination ran wilder than a herd of zebras running in the African savanna.

Thank God Kris wasn't here yet. It gave me some time to get a grip on myself. Not that the extra time was helping. In fact, the more I sat alone, the farther my thoughts wandered. Dammit I should have just opened a textbook or something instead of trying to work on my draft.

Mid-terms were next week and while I was done studying, staring at a bland textbook would have been so much better than reliving the kiss from last Sunday. The one where Kris hoisted me on the kitchen island, stood between my legs, tangled his fingers in my hair before kissing me breathless.

I felt my face heat up for the umpteenth time and I had to take a sip of water to calm down. Kris would be here any minute for our study session and I didn't want to look like a tomato when he did. He would immediately put two and two together and it would make everything awkward.

Get a grip, Ashley. Get a grip on yourself!

God, a few kisses and I was losing my mind.

They probably didn't even mean anything. Kris didn't want to kiss me. I had basically begged him for it. On both occasions. The realization of how desperate I must have looked in front of him made me want to disappear into thin air.

There was no doubt that Kris was a little bit of people pleaser. It wasn't obvious at first, but I could see it now. He couldn't refuse anyone anything even if it put him on a spot. Maybe that's what happened when I asked him to kiss me. He pitied me and couldn't bring himself to say no.

But his kisses were anything but pity.

I groaned and covered my face because it was true. There was no pity in his kisses. It was pure want. Like he wanted to devour me whole and still craved for more.

Kris kissed me so thoroughly that I momentarily forgot where I was and what was going on. All I could focus on was Kris and the way his lips moved against mine. The things his touch made me feel.

There was no denying that I had a steadily developing crush on Kris. When we had that fight two weeks ago, I had fully intended to break things off and send him on his way. But one look at his desperate face as he pleaded me to stay and my heart swayed.

Despite my better judgment, I ended up giving him a second chance. The logical part of me still wanted to believe that I did it because I was never given the chance to redeem myself. One mistake and suddenly that became the only thing people saw. Everything before that was pushed aside like it didn't matter. I didn't want to do that to Kris, crush or not.

But then we kissed and I knew my crush on him played a huge role in that decision. However, at least now I knew that I hadn't made a mistake by giving Kris a second chance.

Right from the beginning, Kris had been adamant about not involving his family in our deal. So, the brunch invitation came as a surprise. Knowing Bethany's family would be present as well, I'd fully expected him to chicken out and retract the invitation. But he didn't.

And when he stood up for me against Bethany, it just made me more confident in my decision. Regardless of how little he'd said, it was still much better than him just sitting there. Whatever his reason for holding back might be, I still thought of it as progress.

It was clear that Bethany and her family, his dad I was guessing, had instilled fear in him about speaking up against them. I had no idea what Mr. Martin held over him, but clearly it was important enough for Kris to keep doing their bidding.

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

I jumped out of my skin at the sound and shut my laptop with an audible bang. When I looked up, my gaze collided with the same emerald green eyes that had been haunting my dreams.

"Hey," I said. Clearing my throat, I smiled at him. "Sorry. I got a little startled."

Kris shook his head and pulled out the chair beside mine to sit. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. Sorry."

We sat in silence after that. Kris refused to meet my gaze as he slowly started taking out his books and stationary from his backpack. I couldn't find anything to say either. If there was ever an exhibit for awkwardness, then a picture of us right now would be its centerpiece.

I had a feeling this was because of that kiss on Sunday. Both of us had gotten a little carried away with that one and I hated this invisible wall that had appeared between us because of it. We should have definitely discussed more before bending the rules about kissing.

"About Sunday—"

"That day we—"

Kris and I started at the same only to stop and stare at each other some more. Sheesh that kiss really messed us up, didn't it? Still, a tiny part of me was happy that I wasn't the only one affected by it.

Kris smiled at me. "You go first."

I nodded and took a deep breath before turning toward him in my chair. "Look, if this is about the kiss then we shouldn't really be this awkward about it. After all, it was just an act right?"

Kris fixed his gaze on me, his blank expression making it impossible to get a read on his thoughts. The longer he stared at me with those intense green eyes, the faster my heart rate spiked. He didn't care much about the kiss, did he? Because if he did—

"Right. An act," he said and my heart plummeted a little despite myself.

The hopeless romantic in me had started developing hopes that this could maybe turn into something real even when the logical side knew it won't happen. Fake dating only worked in books and movies. Never in real life.

I let the disappointment linger only for a moment before putting a smile on my face again. "I wouldn't want us to get all awkward because of something we did as an act. At the end, we are good friends."

Kris nodded, a soft smile on his face. "We are friends before anything else."

Friends. Never knew I would ever get sad on hearing that word.

"Oh, before I forget," Kris said suddenly and placed his backpack on his lap. "I brought something for you."

"What is it?" I asked as I tried to take a peek inside his bag. Kris pulled out a white t-shirt and I immediately knew what it was. His jersey.

"I uh..." Kris cleared his throat, a faint blush reddening his cheeks. "We have an important game tomorrow and I thought uh... you could wear my jersey for it?"

I took the jersey from him and held it up, the Eagles logo immediately catching my eye. A fierce looking Eagle with its wings spread. Flipping it, I ran my fingers over Kris's last name embossed in big, bold letters. His last name that would be plastered over my back for everyone to see.

Wearing his jersey at the game would cement this deal in everyone's eyes. And while I knew all of this was for the sake of an act, I couldn't help but feel like this moment was special; significant.

"Thank you," I said, smiling up at him. "I'll make sure to flaunt it to everyone."

A smile broke free on his lips, changing his entire demeanor. Serious Kris was hot. But this, the one with pleasant smiles and caring eyes, was the Kris I liked the most.

"Go wild," he said and we both chuckled.

I neatly folded the jersey and placed it in my bag. Once it was safely tucked away, I opened my binder and turned to Kris. "Now shall we get to studying? We have a lot to do."

For the next two hours, Kris and I went over the study material and the notes I'd made. We then took turns quizzing each other. Prof. Moore had already announced that we were going to have a multiple choice questions test so I wasn't much worried about Kris did well with objective questions too.

The problem was the assignment that was going to be counted toward the grade.

"I never know if Prof. Moore is being an ass to me or I am really that bad," Kris groaned into his sheet where he had received a D.

"He's being an ass to everyone. I asked around. Everyone scored less than they had expected," I said.

Kris squinted his eyes at me. "Says the one with an A."

I shrugged, grinning. "With the stuff I wrote, I clearly deserve an A+. See? He's being an ass."

He snorted and shook his head. "You top scorers never understand the pain and suffering of us at the bottom. We are getting crushed like coffee beans in a grinder."

"Drama queen," I said, rolling my eyes at him and shoving him. Not that I could move the hunk of a defenseman. But to save my feelings, Kris swayed to the other side anyway.

By the time we wrapped up our study session, it was already past noon. The toast I'd had for breakfast was long gone and I could feel my stomach cramping. As I was mentally going through my lunch options, my stomach growled. Loudly.

Mortified, I peeked a glance at Kris to see if he'd heard that and nearly died. Kris was already facing me, looking mighty amused. "That was—"

I held up my finger. "Don't even think about it if you want to walk out of here alive."

Kris made the motion of zipping his mouth, but his lips were still twitching. His resolve lasted for about three seconds and then he was grinning from ear to ear. Before he could say anything, I slung my bag over my shoulder, standing up. Kris followed suit and threw his arm around my shoulder so I wouldn't run away from him.

"That was one loud cry for food," he said, patting my stomach. I tried to wriggle out of his hold and pinch him, but he just pulled me closer to him, chuckling. "Let's get some food in you. Any special requests?"

I glared at him, but Kris kept smiling. When my stomach cramped again, I decided to give in. There was one place I'd been meaning to go for a while now.

"Tacos from the new food truck everyone's been talking about. April says they are delicious." Ever since I'd seen the pictures of those tacos on April's story from when she went out with her media team, I had been salivating for them, but never got the chance to visit myself.

"The one outside of west gate?" Kris asked and I nodded eagerly. "Sure. Tacos on me. I'll just quickly use the restroom and then we'll leave."

I grinned at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Okay. I'll be in the non-fiction aisle. There's a book I want to borrow."

While Kris walked in the other direction, I headed for the non-fiction section situated at the far back of this floor, hoping to find the autobiography I was looking for. The library was quickly becoming my favorite place on campus. Not only did it have a huge collection of books on every topic one could possibly imagine, it was open 24/7. I could come in here at 3:00 am and no one would bat an eye.

I was flipping through a book when I felt a presence behind me. Thinking it was another student, I stepped closer to the shelf in front of me to let them pass. But they didn't. Whoever it was, stood right behind me, slowly encroaching in my space.

"Kitten?" A low voice said and my body froze.

Fear gnawed at my insides as I felt the guy close the gap between us until I could feel his breath at the back of my head. This couldn't be happening right now. Not again. Not here at Wellsfield.

No one knew what that term meant to me; the pain it had caused. I hadn't heard it in a long time. I'd thought I had left it all behind. The fact that this guy was using that term could only mean one thing...

Gripping the book tight against my chest, I slowly turned around to face him. With my breath stuck in my throat, I lifted my gaze to look at him and was met with an unfamiliar face. He wasn't one of them. He wasn't one of the hockey players on the high school team.

The relief I felt, however, was momentary as a devilish grin curved his lips while his dark eyes glinted with mirth. I didn't know him, but he clearly did. "Shit. It really is you," he said, chuckling to himself. "Who would've thought I'd run into you here again?"

I looked around to see if there was anyone around, but the aisle was empty. For the first time I hated the library for keeping the non-fiction section at the far back. Rarely anyone visited this part.

"Hmm, you look better than I saw you last time," he said and tried to grab a lock of my hair.

Oh, hell no.

Scowling, I swatted his hand away and pushed him away from me with all my might. The guy crashed into the shelf behind him, but the grin on his face only grew wider.

"Feisty," he commented as he straightened himself and brushed the front of his t-shirt. "Nice. Kitten has gotten braver too huh?"

Anger and disgust bubbled within me, quickly turning into pure hatred. Hadn't these people done enough? Hadn't they tormented me enough? They had made my senior year hell and still they weren't satisfied.

I'd had enough of this bullshit. I didn't even know this guy. I'd be damned if I gave a stranger power over me just because he knew a few ugly details of my past.

"You are disgusting," I spat, standing tall and squaring my shoulders. "Who even are you? No—You know what, I don't care. Stay away from me if you know what's good for you."

I stepped aside and turned to walk away. The long tables were right around the corner. I just needed to get to the end of the aisle and then I would be visible to everyone sitting there. But before I could, he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me back.

"Or what? You're going to make a post about me?" he asked, squeezing my arm hard enough to leave marks. "Didn't you do that already? You and I both know how things ended."

I hissed when he tightened his hold on me. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Jason's using steroids. Does that ring a bell?" he asked.

My eyes widened. Jason. The guy Dylan was talking about.

He shook me when I didn't respond. "You made that fake post about me. I got kicked off the football team because of you!"

"Let me go! I don't know anything about it," I said as I tried to pry open his grip around me.

"Bullshit! It was you— Ow fuck."

A larger hand clamped around his wrist and squeezed until he let go of me. Tears of relief blurred my vision when I saw Kris towering over me instead of that creep.

"Keep your grubby hands to yourself before I break them," Kris said, his voice eerily calm despite the murderous look in his eyes. With exceptional ease, he backed Jason away from me until he was pressed against the opposite bookshelf and stood in front of me like a shield.

"What the fuck man? Stay out of our business," Jason said as he glared up at Kris.

But Kris didn't let up. If anything, he just twisted Jason's hand further, making him cry out in pain.

Ignoring him, Kris looked at me over his shoulder. "You know this guy?"

I shook my head, wiping the tears rolling down my cheeks. Even though I wasn't lying, it still felt like I was.

"She's a lying bitch! She—" Kris grabbed his collar, cutting him off.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a few students standing at the end of the aisle, whispering among themselves. This wasn't good. I was a nobody on this campus, but everyone knew Kris. If things escalated, it could create problems for him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ended up dragging him in my problems.

"Say that again and see what happens," Kris threatened as he got in Jason's face.

He glared at Kris before staring straight at me. "Back to sucking hockey guys' dicks huh?" he sneered. "You always were a slut."

Kris swore loudly and lifted his fist to punch Jason, but I grabbed his arm, holding it down. He shot me a questioning look and I shook my head. "Please stop," I mumbled.

"But he—"

Shaking my head again, I gestured to the slowly gathering crowd at the end of the aisle. A few of them had taken out their phones and had pointed the cameras in our direction, ready to record the action. This wasn't good for Kris. Not when he was planning to go pro after college.

"Please. Let's just go," I pleaded, my voice trembling despite my best attempt to keep it steady.

Kris's gaze flitted from me to the gathered crowd before resting back on me. His expression softened as he heaved a sigh. "Okay."

He then turned to Jason and yanked him by his collar. "If I ever see you anywhere around my girlfriend— Hell, if I ever see you again at this library, I'll fucking kill you."

Once sure that he'd gotten his point across, Kris wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side as he started leading me away from that creep. The crowd parted for us, letting us pass through. But I didn't miss the way they stared and whispered to each other. Soon everyone would be gossiping about this.

My stomach knotted at the thought. Everyone would start making their own stories, spreading half truths and straight up lies. Rumors would spread like wildfire and then it would be high school all over again. I couldn't deal with that again. I couldn't—

"Breathe," Kris whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head.

As if my body was under his command, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Repeating the motion until we were seated in his car, tucked away from all eyes.

"Where do you—"

"Home," I said before he could finish his question. "Drop me at the dorm please."

Kris gave me a curt nod and began driving in the direction of my dorm. While he didn't say it out loud, I could tell he'd a lot of questions. And the more I watched him work his jaw and flex his fingers around the wheel, the more I wanted to tell him. He deserved to know.

For all I knew, a clip of him roughing the guy up would be circulating around campus by now. I had already dragged him in my mess. He at least deserved to know what he was dealing with. Even if it meant he'd want nothing to do with me after hearing the truth.

"That guy..." I started when we parked in front of my dorm. "H-He's the guy Dylan was talking about. Jason. He went to the same high school as me."

"What did he want from you?" he asked, turning to face me.

I shrugged, feeling the tears well up in my eyes again. "Revenge I guess."

Kris's eyes widened and he reached out for my hand. "What? Why?"

"Because..." My throat clogged up and the tears began flowing again when I saw the concerned look on his face. "Because I was a horrible person in high school who did a lot of bad things."