Part of me aches at the thought of him being so close yet so untouchable

...................... ................... ...............................

"Are you afraid?"

A Nine year old Gulf Kanawut stood in front of the door that just might decide his future in sport. He wanted an in. Badly, desperately, And Robert Kanawut knew it more than anyone. He knew his son. Just like his son knew him.

He didn't answer to his father. His one hand holding the crutch that was helping him stand up. He really shouldn't have tried to do skating in mountain yesterday. And he definitely shouldn't have wear those skate board and jump from the top of it. The result was devastating. And all of it was because he wanted to know how it feels to be fly in the air, even if for a second.

"So you are." The old man chuckled. "Are you sure you can do this?"

The nine year old boy scoffed, his hand still hovering around the door knob. Thinking to open or not. His football coach is really gonna dump him from the team. He knew it.

"I am...I am not afraid." He was.

"I can do this" he thought. "And even if I can't I have to."

His father doesn't need to now. But he knew, his father already does. As if to confirm it, his dad stepped behind him. He was no longer standing beside him anymore. His eyes looked back at the old man. A warm smile greeting him as soon as he does.

"Are you sure?"

He couldn't lie. His lips pressed in a thin line as a frown took over his forehead. "I...I am. I really am dad." There it was. His fear, laid bare on the daylight for anyone to make jokes about. But his dad didn't. He only stepped forward a little, his hand holding his left shoulder in a firm assuring grip.

"It's ok to be sacred sometimes, son. It's what make us human. It's what drive us forward to achieve what we want to."

"But what if...what if I fail dad. What if I.."

"Then you just have to try again. And fight those fears until they leave your mind and set you free to do whatever you want." His father stepped away again. His warm green eyes looking at him with nothing but pride. "And I Know my son will never let any fear stop him from doing what he wants." 

He smiled while ruffling his son's hair. "But I can't help you in this son. You have to do it on your own. You have to fight your own battles. And I know..." Warm green eyes with a smile that speak volume look at him. "I know you can do it."

It was the pain that woke him up snapping his mind from whatever memory lane it was walking on. The darkness seem to deepen as his eyes tried to see what was ahead. It took him a moment to understand that his eyes were blindfolded. And it took him even less than a moment to understand that he wasn't alone. A scream ripped through the darkness as if to confirm his thoughts. And he was glad that it doesn't belong to that idiot friend of his.

Though his relief was shortened when the burning sensation in his upper abdomen was felt. As if someone has slit his insides and doused them in fire. It took all of his power to not let the effect show. He had to try hard to keep his face blank and keep sitting in the same position.

By now he was sure that there was more than one person with him here and he also knew that they weren't giving him attention deeming him still unconscious.

For the time being he would like to keep it that way. At least until this pain in his head subside enough for him to think clearly.

The scream ripped through that unending darkness again. Seems to belong to a man, in his late forties or middle from the way his voice is sounding.

They seems to have a very deep grudge with the still screaming man by the sound of that continuous beating sound.

Gulf's ears were there but the pain inside his head wasn't letting him concentrate fully. It was even harder to breathe. Not trying to be dramatic but he think something is broken inside him. Or at least sprained badly.

The screaming suddenly stopped. A loud bang told him that whoever it was inside just went away leaving a whimpering man behind. But he layed still. For the next 10 minutes until the ropes that was binding his hand came undone. The first thing he did was take his blindfold off hoping to see any kind of light. But there wasn't anything but darkness. After sometime his eyes were adjusted enough to make out the silhouette of a man lying in the corner. And another just a little away from where he was sitting. It didn't take him second to understand who this second person was. He tried to stand up, hissing in pain when his ribs refused to obey.

It took him another five minutes to stand up, ignoring the pain, his legs dragging him towards the man who seems to be lying sideways showing his back to him.

"I think that's enough sleeping for today Suttinut, unless you want to be put to sleep for eternity."

"I wasn't asleep." He can feel that infamous glare even in the darkness.

"Wipe your drool first then we will talk."

"I was just hungry ok. These bastards were eating fried chicken in front of my nose." Mild raises up from the floor rubbing the back of his head. "These fuckers hit my head badly. And then didn't give me chicken."

Gulf ignored that non stop rambling. His eyes finally concentrated on the man lying lifeless in a corner. Truth to be told, that man's condition wasn't good. Blood pouring out from god knows where.

"Is he dead?" Mild's voice was full of curiosity.

"Not yet. But not far from it either." He slowly turned that man over. He is more older than Gulf imagined. His eyes were beaten shut, nose broken and lips bursted open. Whoever want him beaten, also want him dead.

"We have to go."

"No shit sherlock. So should we kill them first?" Mild's voice held a childlike curiosity and eagerness to get his hands adorned with that familiar red color.

The footsteps sound outside was the first indication Gulf needed. "No...Just enough to make them take bed rest for a while. And probably do more damage to someone who kicked my abdomen. It hurts like hell."

A playful smirk lift the corner of that killing machine who was stretching his hands. "Now we are talking. But we missed the bait didn't we?"

Gulf looked at him then back at the man lying there lifeless. "From my point of view, we just gained it."

............................ ................................. ...........................

The man in the dark attire were sitting closely to the window. A cigar apparent on his hand, his eyes looking at somewhere very far away. Far from what any eyes could see. His posture looked relaxed but his fingers that were drumming themselves against the counter tell another story.

"What are you going to do with him Sir?"

The man standing beside him asked in a fearful manner. It seems like everyone was afraid of him. And he liked it this way. The last man that stood before him fearless is now lying somewhere under the ground.

"I am going to send him to the same place where his father is now. The father son duo at least should be together in death don't you think?" He picked his glass of wine. The red liquor calling to him. "He is just like his father. Naive. So naive. He entered our trap blindly without questioning it."

A loud laughter erupted from his lips. The man standing could be seen smiling a little too. But there smile were short lived as the loud ringing of the landline interrupt it. The man looked at his boss as if asking for permission.

The man only dismissed him before settling for the night view again.

It wasn't even one minute when the other man entered the room. The smile long gone. Instead terror apparent as day on his face.

"Was that Milo? What did he said. Did he killed them already?"

The man's eyes were still outside waiting for an answer. And when he didn't get any, he looked back. The other were already on the floor looking up at him with an apologetic expressions.

"S...Sir..Milo....Milo was found in the cage with both of...both of his eyes plucked out."

This seems to not bother the man as he asked his next question. "What about that bastard?"

"He..He is nowhere to be found."

"What about Kanawut.."

"He...He is gone with both his friend and...and.." He couldn't say anything as a glass hit his head in full force. Warm liquids pour like water from his forehead. Yet he didn't get up. Yet he stayed on the ground shivering in fear.

The man with the black suit was in rage now. It was only then when he knew that they didn't trap that lawyer. That lawyer trapped them.

He picked the gun in his hand from the waistband and emptied all the bullets in the wall next to the man who was still trembling on the floor.

It took more than one hour to feel himself in control again. Only then did he picked up the mobile and dialed the number. The phone was picked immediately.

"Is he dead yet."

That one question made him want to destroy everything. "No..we were wrong about him Suppasit." His eyes looked outside again. "He is nothing like his father. We need to handle that bastard another way."

The other end was silent for some moment before the voice of Henry Suppasit came again. "Then what are we waiting for. Let's use that resort."

"You do understand that your son's life will be in danger too right. If we do that? Are you ready to sacrifice your son for it?"

There was no hesitation in the other's voice. "Nothing comes before my pride. Not even my son."

That man seems to like the answer. A satisfactory smile taking over his lips. "Good. This time let's finish him. Once and for all."

Along with him, the secret that can ruin their entire business empire if it comes out.

And he can do anything to protect his empire. If that means killing his best friend's son, then so be it.

.................. ..................... .....................

Gulf sat there silently watching the water turn into red as another gauze was wasted in it. The color exciting him for a moment before his eyes went to look at his own wound on the abdomen. There was a deep cut now. Except for this it was his head where he suffered a blow. He can already imagine the bruises on his face along with the blood dripping from everywhere on his body. Not his own blood of course. It belong to the man whose eyes he just plucked out before throwing it in the dustbin.

"Are you gonna stay sitting there as a zombie"

"How is he?" He ignored Sophia's query and questioned instead, eyes falling on the half Italian women. A drink already in her hand.

"He will be ok after some months of treatment maybe. Also maybe one of his limbs won't work. But that's ok right?"

He went back to his own hand again. A needle attached to a thread lied there. He looked at it for a moment before starting to work on it, forcing it shut. The blood pouring from there was too frustrating. That's why he wanted to be done with it as fast as he can.

"As long as he can talk, I don't care if all of his limbs are gone."

"So cruel you are sometimes."

"I never said I wasn't." After forcing the stitch on the last line of blood, he finally felt satisfied. At least enough to throw his bloodied shirt away.

A towel gently was pressed onto his face. Two soft hands slowly wiping away the remaining blood stain. "Gulf, does it not hurt anymore?" Her eyes met his. And he knew instantly what pain she was talking about. A pain that can't be seen from outside.

He slowly push her hand away walking off from there while getting the new shirt on. "It never stopped. I don't think it will ever...."As usual he still can't lie to her.

Her pitying eyes weren't something he was fond of. This person who probably is the most closest to him after his idiotic friend, is one of those person he can never except pity from.

A monster should never be pitied, he should be feared.

Yet from the moment he knew her, she always looked at him like this.

"Let me prepare your room then. You must be hungry too."

"No, I have to go back home."

The confusion in her eyes didn't go unnoticed but he cannot give her answers now. He cannot tell her that more than anything else, he was worried. For a child that was left alone for two days. A child that was still very much angry with him. Though he was aware that child was out on a trip and must've only returned today. Thus having no way to even to notice his absence.

But still, he worry. For some unknown reason, he worry, for that kid.

"You are leaving? Already?"

Gulf's eyes snapped towards his one and only friend who was eating grapes from the hand of a woman who almost have no clothes on. His head was bandaged properly. What was he gonna do with this idiot? "And by the look of it, you are not coming."

A grin spread across his lips as he bite another grape. "Yep. Let me live grandpa."

He narrowed his eyes at him then decided him as a lost cause before getting out of the harem. Sophia's car keys are already in his hand.

"I expect my baby to be unharmed the time it comes back Gulf Kanawut or you are dead."

The ebony-haired woman reminded him with a glare that has hidden her emotional eyes far better than expected. Though it only took him one second to see through the act.

They both were quite good at it. "Can't guarantee. Should've thought that before blowing up my bike that time."

"That bike was the epitome of death."

"And so am I. Now please go inside and make sure that idiot doesn't end up getting framed again. He is too easy."

He got inside the car, pulling down the window before looking at her.

"You two don't make sense to me. One is after chicken and chick another after death." She put her hand on the window, her face inches away from him. "You are gonna die like this Gulf. One day I am afraid I will have to bury you in the next place to your father."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Her words not settling well with him. "You can't. That place is reserved for very few special people. And if one day you do find me without even an ounce of oxygen in my lungs then do remember to bury me in a place where nobody will disturb me again."

There it was. The sad flickering of her eyes as she smiled at him before stepping away from the car. Without wasting a second he sped away from there. From that watchful eyes that were able to see him. The him that was once without a mask. She saw him. And till to this day, he doesn't like this one bit.

................................. .................. .......................

It was dark outside when he reached the place he call home for now. The flickering lights of the lamp in the gate post suddenly felt more inviting than ever as the gate was opened. He found Jonathan standing at the doorway as soon as he parked. He was by his side in a second. He looked as usual. Cool, calm, collected except for the dark bags under those known eyes.

"I suppose you got what you wanted Sir?"

"When have I not?" His feet already carrying him towards the front door. "Don't tell me you were worried about me?"

"I was not, Sir."

"Learn how to lie properly John."

He only smiled at Gulf before opening the front door for him. He had to make sure that none of his wounds were on display before stepping foot inside.

"Where is he? Is he asleep already?" He threw aside his coat in the couch, looking at his shirt again to make sure there was no bloodstain.

"Young Master is in your study."

This made him look back at him with confusion. Even though he knew that kid for some reason like to enter his study whenever he wanted but it is very late now. Almost 3 Am. "Shouldn't he be asleep?"

John looked hesitated for a moment before deciding to answer. "He came back as soon as you left." 

"What?'

"Young Master was back the day you left Sir. And then he waited for you. He called you multiple times. Cursed you many times." A hint of smile lifted the corner of Johnathan's lips before it vanishes. "It was then he got quiet. Very very quiet. He wouldn't even eat properly. It was only after that when...."His eyes were downcast. Hesitation filling his entire features.

"When..?

"When Young Master started the destruction."

For a second he only looked at Johnathan dumbfounded. 

"He almost destroyed everything in sight, Including the plates that we tried to give him food with."

"At least tell me he eat something?"

There it was. That same guilty expression. "We tried Sir. First day he did, even though it was little but today, today he completely shut himself down in your study. He wouldn't listen to us. He wouldn't even talk with us."

Rage filled his inside as he started to step forward the staircase. By that time he wasn't sure what he was angry about? That childish destruction mode or the fact that kid didn't eat properly..

Whatever it was, it soon vanished as soon as he opened his study room.

Few things were clear. He need a new table, and a desk and the curtain needs to be replaced so did the mess of many other things scattered around.

Almost ruined everything in this room. Very valuable things too. But even then when his eyes fell on the form of a person lying on the couch, his from in a crouching ball with nothing but a plain tee-shirt, shivering in the cold...his anger vanished. So did his determination to just throw that kid out.

In the end, he couldn't do anything but walk slowly inside. Those brown locks were disheveled, eyes adorned with deep circles around them. Without realizing his fingertips brushed against that cold cheek. As that kid leaned into his touch unknowingly, he finally understood. This was the reason he hurried home. This person who was curling into himself while leaning towards him was the reason he was so worried.

"Stupid Kid." He bend down slowly before gathering that small body in his arms. His stitches protesting against him in the meantime but the cold body in his arms wasn't letting him concentrate on his pain.

"I was only absent for two days. You couldn't even handle him for this time?"

Johnathan was still standing beside the door with his head cast down. Then he looked up "Let me take him, Sir."

"Just open the door of his bedroom and bring me hot water and a sponge."

He did as he said then went out of the room. Gulf slowly tried to put him down on the bed. The pain in his abdomen was spreading like fire by now. And maybe that's why it was hard to keep standing up.

He tried to untangle his arms as slowly as he could but the little whine stopped him in his tracks. A firm grip on his shirt made him look at that face. Two tired eyes greeted him back. And it kept looking at him with confusion that turned to relief and finally turned into anger.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Small fist connected with his chest as that kid screamed at him. "I LOOKED FOR YOU, I CALLED YOU, I CALLED THAT SECRETARY YOU HAVE, I TRIED TO CALL MILD...Where were you. Where were you Grumpy...."His voice quieted down at the end. Eyes brimming with water that wasn't falling.

And he forgot the pain nagging at his mind at the sight. Was this worry? Was he worried about him? But why? Why were those brown eyes that use to shower him with hatred, was looking at him with worry now?

"Why...were you afraid that I wasn't coming back. Or were you afraid that you won't have anyone who you can make bankrupt with unending shopping?" He was expecting an angry scowl and some more scolding but what he got was two arms wrapping themselves around his neck and a face that was now hidden in his nape. He didn't expected the sound of sobbing either, nor did he expected the feeling of someone's tears touching the crook of his neck.

It took him a second to understand. That kid was crying. He was sobbing at the top of his lungs. And Gulf Kanawut didn't know what to do.

He sat down ignoring the pain again. But he didn't know what else to do. How to comfort someone. Who was crying like this? How..

"I..I was afraid..I was so afraid..I looked for you..you didn't come home...I was so afraid...afraid that you won't come back again. Grump..grumphy..."

His hiccupping sounds, his crying eyes were all wreaking a havoc on him. "What were you afraid of?" He found himself questioning him instead.

That kid didn't answer. But his grip on Gulf's neck tightened, that small body now completely in his lap. And his mind totally at a loss.

Slowly he found himself raising his hand. Slowly with unsuirity he rubbed that hiccupping kid's back. It only seems to increase his cries. Johnathan was standing at the door by now. His eyes looking at Gulf as if seeing a stranger.

And If he looked at himself now, he will feel the same too. This was strange. The way every tears leaving those big eyes was burning his soul was strange. The way he let that kid keep hugging him despite the pain in his entire body was strange.

He wanted to comfort him, he wanted to tell him to stop crying. But he can't. This will start another course in his life. 

And he can't let that happen. Cause he already know the end. In there, this kid doesn't fit. Not at all.

Yet..he didn't pushed him away. Yet he kept that frail body close. He let him be in his arms till he finally calms down and falls asleep.

That was the first night he slept beside that kid without knowing that it was just the start. Of something else. Of an unplanned story that was going to change his life.

It was the start that made his ending version filled with nothing but unsurity and a new beginning.

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Sorry Everyone for updating so late. As many of you already know I was in depression for some time. And twitter dramas aren't helping either.

But it really made me happy to see so many of you messaging me and encouraging me. Thank you everyone for your support.

That's it for today. Thanks again. Also do let me know how this chapter was. Till we meet again...Byeee