"How far can you fall until you hit the bottom?" That has always been the question.
A common proverb said:"Life is an endless cycle which one cannot break". That was truer than anyone could believe for me.
My life, an endless cycle of pain, betrayal, and loss. Like a tragic play that holds no secrets to how it will it.
I thought, once, I had reached the bottom, but the bottom- as it turns out- is just an illusion; you just keep falling and falling.
That one day in the forest hadn't erased the urging that persisted the days following. I spent most of my nights wide awake and frustrated.
It was the same superstitious urging; something of importance was about to happen.
I rode through the forest again in hopes of relieving the feeling, but each ride relieved nothing. I would come back more frustrated than when I left.
"Perhaps I'm not going far enough."
But it didn't matter how far I rode, the urging continued.
One day it became too much. I got up before the sun's rays had even begun to paint the sky and slipped out of the palace. I took Atlas, not to the usual woods in the back of the castle, but went out to ride the main roads. No destination in mind, I rode as if trying to outride the feelings plaguing me. The road was my guide, leading to wherever it felt like.
Time passed without me knowing. The sun had filled the sky and the world came to life. Atlas was becoming tired and I knew better than to continue pushing him. Fortunately, there appeared to be a village up ahead.
Approaching the humble looking village, I stopped. The village seemed familiar in my mind, but it took me a minute to figure out why.
Emmony and me had visited this same village some five years ago. It brought back memories; some good some bad- it was a mixed place for me.
As we stood slightly away from the village, I remembered another place around there.
A certain well secluded in the woods, a tranquil place to lose myself.
We rode off, avoiding the village, and went in search of where I remembered the dried up well to be. It was exactly where I remembered it to be, and looked exactly the same.
Finally giving Atlas a rest, I dismounted and sat on the bench surrounding the circumference of the well. I peered into it. Still dry.
Running my hand through my hair, I sat down and sighed.
The urging was still there. It was a constant reminder of the change that was sure to come my way.
"How do I stop this? What does it even mean?"
I sat there for what must have been half an hour, but nothing had changed.
My faith in the Fates was minimal, but the thought of praying to them was stronger than it had ever been. I would have done so if I hadn't heard a noise behind me.
The sound of someone, or something, approaching caused me to turn around.
A young woman, perhaps eighteen or nineteen, was looking down into the well. She appeared exhausted, her breathing heavy as if she had run the whole way here looking, in vain, for water.
She appeared so occupied with finding water, I was sure I would startle her once I spoke up.
"There's no water at the bottom. Well has been dried up for years."
But even after I spoke she didn't seem to notice me. Instead, she sighed in defeat and sat down on the bench.
"Ugh! Absolutely nothing is going right."
I couldn't agree more with that statement.
It was rare of me to leave the castle, it was even rarer for me not to hide my identity outside of the castle. Today, though, I was being reckless.
She looked as if she would collapse at any minute if she did not receive water, so I decided to lighten her burden.
"Do you need something to drink? I have water on me if you do." I offered the water I had in my leather pouch.
She responded as if I had offered her gold and hastily accepted the water.
As she grabbed for the water, I finally got a good look at her. She was beautiful.
The way the sun hit her hair made it appear as if it were shimmering like fire. Even sitting down I could tell she had an impressing figure. Her beauty was apparent, but I didn't want to be caught staring, so I glanced away until she handed me back my pouch- it was much lighter than before.
"Sorry," She sounded slightly embarrassed. "I got a little carried away. Thanks, though, for the drink."
"It's not a bother."
I looked up at her again and caught her staring at me. She quickly glanced away.
"Are you good with advice?" I asked rather sudden.
My mouth spoke before my mind could catch up.
"Why am I asking her this?" I had never met this woman.
But I realized I was desperate. Desperate for answers on how to get rid of this feeling, that urging. I helped her out, now I expected something in return.
"Huh?"
She kept looking at me like I had asked the impossible.
"I don't know," She blinked. "I can try though."
"I come here often to think and reflect. But today my mind is restless and I can't figure out why. I feel like something important is about to happen to me, I don't know if it's good or bad, just that something is about to occur."
I wait to see what she has to say about that, but again, she has this look on her face as if I was speaking in a different language.
"This was an awful idea. She's clueless." It was foolish of me to expect her to know how to solve my problem. I was about to brush the issue aside and leave, but she spoke up.
"I've had a feeling like that before. It turned out to be nothing but I think it could mean something important is about to happen to you."
She hesitated a little, but whatever she was hesitant to share with me she did so anyway.
"I'm more of a happily ever after type of person, so I believe in shooting stars and dreams. I've always had this small feeling that something, or someone, is waiting for me and I'm getting closer with each new day." She paused and blushed a little. "I hope I don't sound insane. But whatever this feeling you have, stick with it. Who knows? Something major may occur to you. And that's my honest advice, sorry if it didn't help, I'm kind of new at this."
It wasn't the answer I was looking for, but it didn't sound too absurd.
"Thank you. I'll take that to heart."
She gave me this strange look as if she was put in an awkward situation.
To me, she seemed strange, almost out of place. I didn't spend much time around the commoners, but she struck me as unusual. Maybe it was the fact that she didn't know who I was. Even then she seemed different.
I only realized the lack of conversation when a different urging overcame me. We had somehow managed to close the distance between us in those few silent seconds, and I was staring right into her eyes.
"What am I doing?"
This new urging was bizarre. I barely knew this woman yet I was leaning in to kiss her.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds, and when I pulled back both urges were gone.
Once the exchange was over, she didn't seem to know what to say, so I spoke first. Getting to my feet, I kept my voice formal as if nothing had happened, but I felt even more confused than before.
"I have to go. Thank you for your advice."
I mounted Atlas but glanced back at the young woman before taking off.
She looked dazed and caught off guard. Her brown eyes were as wide as stars as she looked back at me. Finally, I break eye contact and kick Atlas in the side. We take off without me risking another glance back.
"That was quite unusual. She was quite unusual."
We rode through the woods, my mind consumed.
No questions were answered, but my body felt at rest. No urgent compulsions ran through my mind or body.
"There was something about her..." I thought. "Something strangely comforting and familiar about her."
I shook these foolish thoughts from my mind as we rode on.
"Simply a distraction. The Fates may try all they may, but nothing is going to change."
They could be hell bound, but so could I. Nothing was going to destroy the kingdom I fought so hard for. The kingdom I sacrificed so much to control.
I ran the kingdom and nothing was ever going to change that.

[End of Book 1.5 of the Twisted Souls Series]