It seemed the more time I spent in my mother's presence, the more I tried to figure out how her mind worked, the less I knew about her. As carefully as I could observe, I never figured out how she functioned mentally.

I was noticing her odd behavior lately and observed her growing distress. She would always seem tired or more agitated than usual. For once, her concern didn't seem to be me.

If I ever bought these observations up she would become quite hostile on the subject.
"You shouldn't pry into other people's thoughts. A king is never too intrusive."
By then her icy remarks didn't faze me like they used to.
"I was simply observing your recent behavior. Isn't that what you taught me to do, mother?"
My voice always carried a sharp tone whether I wanted it to or not. That seemed to be an unfortunate trait I picked up from her.
She only narrowed her eyes at me and gave a bitter look.
I never brought up the issue any further after that. There were other tasks I could focus on, such as spending more time with Emmony, who was around more often than not.
It was like when we were younger, still sharing a close bond. Her smile was still contiguous and her laugh light yet powerful. She was there to rebuild my spirit when my mother tore me down. She was someone familiar I could discuss problems with, a friend willing to give advice.
I had noticed that my "incidents" were occurring less often than before. Just her presence seemed to be comforting.
Some days she would be waiting for me in my bed chambers, like on one afternoon where I walked in to find her inspecting my suncatcher.
"I remember when you first showed me this." She said not looking away.
The fractured colors spilled along the floor shimmered in the sun's rays.
"I thought it was the most beautiful creation I'd ever saw. I still do."
Joining her on the bed, we watched the light filter through the glass and create a mirage at our feet.
"How was it?"
We both knew the question nor answer needed to be stated, but it was a habit that we had.
"There's something amiss about her, but I couldn't guess what. If she doesn't want to say then she doesn't have to."
I noticed her frown but didn't add anything more.
"Well, I have been inside for much too long, haven't I?" She said after a minute of silence. "I think you've been inside for too long as well."
"What are you planning?" I asked with a question in my eyes.
Getting up to stretch, she turned to smile at me.
"You'll just have to find out now won't you?"
With that, we began our usual dash to the stables. I would take the lead until she would catch up from behind, then it was always neck-and-neck. We wouldn't slow down, not even for passing servants or guards, until we reached the stables outside. Her shrieks of excitement would echo through the corridors like a chorus of joy, then join in with nature's noise as we would race outside.
Now that I was older I would be able to keep up with her and even beat her a few times. But as we both ran into the stables, it clearly turned out to be a tied.
"You still act like a child you know." I breathed.
We stood there catching our breathes.
She straightened up first, wiping beads of sweat off her brow.
"I have the mind and spirit of a child."
"Oh, well, what do others think of that?"
"Does it matter?"
We smiled at each other again before she began to saddle Valda.
"You know, there is actually a belief about that."
I checked the bottom of Valda's hooves. "A belief about what?"
"Being a spirit in a different body."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, there is a belief that when you die your soul or spirit is taken from its original body and placed in a new body. So you can have a grown man's soul but be placed in a young child's body when your old one dies. It's a rather interesting concept."
"A bit peculiar if you ask me." I finished checking Valda's hooves and helped Emmony tighten the saddle. "Only the Fates know what happens to your soul once you die.
"Perhaps."
We mounted Valda then take off out of the stables and down our usual path.
The forest is bathed in golden light that the branches break into rays leading our way. The sounds of the forest created a calmness in both of us; I could tell by her relaxed shoulders.
"Do you even want to be king?"
The question took me back.
"What?"
"I mean," She sighed at the ground. "I know the reason why, at least I believe I do, but I don't understand it."
I frowned. "It's what I'm supposed to do, Emmony. It's something I want to do."
"But that's just it. You feel like you have an obligation to become king, but what if- imagine you weren't in the situation you are now and you were just a regular person-"
"I am a regular human being." I didn't mean for the words to come out so harsh, but it came out unconsciously.
Emmony reiterated. "I mean like you were a commonfolk. You wouldn't have this sense of duty to do something that you may not want to do."
"I'm not sure I fully understand what you're talking about."
"If you were a commoner you wouldn't feel so trapped."
"I want to be king. Not everything in life is going to be easy to obtain and even if becoming king is not easy, I still want to serve my purpose in life."
"I understand that, it's just that it hurts to see you so unhappy doing what you're doing now. What's going to change once you are king?"
I took a breath but didn't answer her. We were taking a different route than usual, which was fine by me.
"Has it ever occured to you that you might not be king in a short period of time? I mean, when does the training end and you're finally crowned? I don't want you to get to that moment and realize for a majority of your life, you were miserable."
Her words were spoken softly with concern apparent, but for some reason they irritated me.
"You know Emmony, I do believe your theory may be correct. You are a woman, but you have the mind of a child to which you don't understand some things and how they work. You believe in simple solutions that cannot work in a complex world."
It was a snippy response to which she was probably taken back from. I didn't mean to insult her, but I felt she didn't understand the situation fully.
We continued further in silence with nothing but the sounds of nature between us.
"I'm sorry if I snapped at you, Emmony."
The guilt was getting too much for me to bare. I didn't want any strife between us- she was the only person I could trust and I couldn't sever that.
"You're fine, it wasn't my place to judge your decisions. For that I must apologize myself."
That was just who Emmony was- someone who was quick to forgive and let it go.
"It's fine."
We were coming into a more open meadow area.
"By the way," I said. "I still do not believe in your theory of souls in different bodies."
She showed her usual, bright smile as she turned around stuck out her tongue.
"You should keep your eyes on the path." I said mockingly.
"Why should I? There's nobody on the road but us. Don't you trust I have a secret talent?"
"Of being oblivious? Why, of course."
She opened her mouth to give a cunning response, but Valda's whining cut her off.
"What's the matter with you?"
Emmony pulled back on the reins and we both returned our attention to the path. Up ahead was the cause of Valda's nervousness.
Two men with swords were struggling with a wild looking horse. One of the men were holding the horse's reins, while the other tried, in vain, to calm it down.
Valda was hesitant to proceed, but Emmony pushed her on, wanting to know what was going on up ahead.
As we approached closer we could hear what the men were saying.
"-him calm, now." The one with the sword said.
The man with reins looked like he was putting up a fight with the horse and losing.
"He's really kickin' today. Can't get him to calm down."
"Hey," Emmony was already dismounted and approaching the men. "Any problems here?"
The man with the sword turned toward her, but he didn't seem hostile as he approached toward her. I dismounted and held Valda's reins.
"Sorry to disrupt your stroll, me and my brother were told to take care of somethings where no one would be around."
"What things?" She asked glancing between him and the horse.
"You see, for a while we've been trying to break this creature, but no such luck has come our way. We've been trying to break him for at least five months now, but he's a stubborn one. We don't think it's even possible to tame him and we need a working horse for the fields immediately. No use keeping or selling a feral animal.
"So you're going to kill it?" She asked astounded.
"He's dangerous. Our father has already been a victim to this beast, it will be in our best interest to take care of him."
I could tell that upset Emmony deeply, but it wasn't her decision to make and I hoped she knew that.
"Now we need to return home by sunset, so if you-"
"Watch out!"
The man who was holding onto the reins couldn't seem to retain the beast any longer and lost his grip. Emmony and the other man move out of the way as the horse came through. The excitement caused Valda to become frightened and I fought to calm her down.
"Grab his reins!" The men shouted.
I didn't know if I would be able to hold onto Valda and the horse at once, so I made a quick decision and let go of Valda's reins. I then reached for the horse's to pull him back. I made sure I had a tight grip on the reins as the horse kicked and fought against the restraints.
"Calm down, settle down." I tried to keep my voice steady even though my heart was thundering in my chest.
Surprisingly, the beast began to settle down, he stopped kicking, though he didn't completely stand still- he was still fidgety.
"That's better."
I could he was a younger stallion, but he had a sturdy build. A midnight black with even darker eyes.
I knew I shouldn't have, but he had a look in his eyes that seemed familiar. I stretched my arm out to touch him, only hesitating a moment when he kicked a little, but he did allow me touch him.
"That is the first time I've seen that damn beast be still." The man with the sword said. "All he does is kick up dust."
I pulled my hand back.
"He doesn't seem like such a troublesome beast to me."
"Thank you for your help." The man said coming over to retrieve the reins. This caused the horse to become riled up again, kicking and snorting. The man backed away.
"I'll bring him to you." I began pulling the reins, but this only caused him become more agitated. He wouldn't even calm down for Emmony, who tried to approach.
He only calmed down when the three of them kept at a distance.
"What should I do?" I asked.
The two men glanced at each, whispering something between the two of them, then turned to address me.
"You wouldn't happen to be in the market for a restless young stallion, would you?"
"You mean keep him?" I couldn't imagine keeping such an animal, especially since I had never rode or owned one of my own before.
"We have no money to pay you with." Emmony said.
"Our father instructed us to take care of somethings, but never told us how."
He waved us off. "Keep him, no cost to you. Besides, he seems to enjoy your company much better did he did in ours."
"Thank you." Emmony's eyes were brighter than ever, with excitement burning throughout. I on the other hand was a bit hesitate, but once you received a gift, it was considered rude to return it.
The men took off the other direction while Emmony and me began our journey back. Valda was quite skittish around the stallion so Emmony stayed a few feet ahead of me. This also kept the stallion calmer as well.
We returned as the sun began to retreat below the horizon leaving shadows in its disappearance.
"I don't know if I can keep him." I said as we locked up the horses.
Emmony gave a prudent look. "Nonsense."
"I have never be tasked to care for an animal before, let alone break one."
"We'll figure it out. But the most important thing is that you've already made a bond."
Doubt was still lingering in my mind, but Emmony's words always brought some strange comfort.
"What are going to name him?"
I glanced back at him, as we walked out of the stables. I picked the first name that came to mind.
"Atlas."
"Atlas? Why that?"
"It sounds like a powerful name."
It was going to be quite the task to break him, but it was something new, and I wanted so desperately to try something unknown.

At night, I withdrew to my room as usual, staying up to read over some dated documents. The radiant moonlight aided the dim candles on my study desk.
I was mentally exhausted and decided to end my reading session early when a knock at my door interrupted me.
It was unusual for anyone to knock on my door or even be near my room, especially at this hour.
"Come in."
I expected my mother to be the last person to knock at my door, but there she was standing at the threshold, pausing before finally entering the room. Her expression was unreadable which meant she was here for a formal discussion.
"I'm surprised you are still up at this hour."
Her voice didn't carry any hostile tone I could pick up on, but mine certainly did.
"I could say the same for you."
"I'm not here to cause strife," She responded. "I simply want to talk."
"What have we to talk about?"
My defenses were up and I wanted her to know that.
She scoffed. "Nothing proper, just a casual talk."
I waited for her to continue, watching as she sat at the edge of my bed and scanned the room, before turning her attention to me.
"I see Emmony has been a frequent visitor lately."
Silence continued on my part as I waited to hear what she had to say about Emmony.
"You have been spending more time around each other. It's nice to see her again if I'm honest, she has free spirit and you seem to be more relaxed around her."
I was tired of her games already.
"What are you implying?"
She didn't wince at my sharp tone, but instead smiled to herself.
"Nothing, dear. I was simply observing your recent behavior." Her tone was calm and steady, but the fire in her eyes told it all. "Isn't that my job as a mother?"
I had all but reached my limit with her and wasn't in the mood to deal with anything she had to say.
"It's awfully late and I've had a busy day, so I think it's time you leave, mother."
"Emmony was fine as a childhood friend." She stood up but didn't head towards the door. "She behaved like a child, thought like a child, spoke and carried herself as a child. But now you're both older- she's a woman now. But..."
She stopped in front of me and let the smile fade from her face.
"She's not the kind of influence you need around you."
"I'm not a child anymore, you cannot and will not tell me who I should or shouldn't associate myself with."
At this point, she let her calm and casual demeanor drop and sighed as though she were dealing with an incompetent child.
"You may see yourself as a man, but that's far from the truth. That girl is going to destroy you-"
"She has done everything but destroy me. She stands by me, because she cares."
This made her laugh, which confused, but mostly angered me.
"Because she cares." She said it more to herself than me.
After a brief second, she gave me a patronizing smile.
"And with that said, do you believe I don't care?"
"Nothing you've done for me has shown me you care."
I turned away from her, but her hand gripped my wrist. Her eyes had a fire behind them and her words were sharp and deliberate.
"Nothing I've done for you has shown that I care? Nothing I've done... Everything I have done has been for you. I would have never trained you if I didn't care, I wouldn't have pushed you if I-"
"But you have no faith in me." I cut back.
"Faith is something you earn-"
"Faith is something a mother should have in her son, not something he has to fight for."
She was infuriated beyond anything I've seen her be mad about. But it pleased me to see her so anger, to see her at a lost for words.
Her anger, though, couldn't stay inside for very long and faster than I could predict it, she struck out, sending an icy chard in no clear direction. The result was a twisted, frozen half pillar in the middle of the room. It was rare for her to display her abilities on any given day, but I'd never seen her lash out in anger with them.
She stormed off, not another word spoken, slamming the door as she departed.
Anger was still coursing through my system, but my body was too drained to hold onto it for long.
That ice pillar was as jagged and twisted as our relationship. It was beautiful in the beginning, but one crack could lead to a shattered state of ruin. You could make something beautiful, but once it becomes broken there's no putting the pieces back together.