Some people proclaim that Fate rides on wind, but in reality Fate prefers* to drive a red Ferrari- specifically the 1961 250 GT SWB California Spider. Its way faster than the wind, and much more fun. Plus, she's a thrill-seeker at heart.

On this day, eight years and approximately 1283 bottles of firewine, after the last time Gerald had the misfortune to run into Onyx Rose, Fate surprised him by waltzing into the bar where he was slumped over the counter, gazing forlornly into an empty cup and wishing he had more money. She walked as if she owned the place (after all she had been responsible for its creation) wearing a glittering, gold gown trimmed with rubies (to match her ride) and flounced down next to him.  She smelled like the beach and coconut rum.

"I have been looking all over the place for you," she said in a delightfully sing-songy voice.

"You have?" Mumbled Gerald, who had not looked up from his cup.

"No, of course not silly. I don't exactly have to look for people now do I, Gerald. I always know exactly where you are."

At this he looked up at her, squinted for a moment, because the candlelight was dim and cast a lot of shadows, and then cursed loudly.

"Now, Gerald..."

"No. NO! I don't want to!"

Fate tsked at him, swiveling her bar stool back and forth, "Gerraaald...now really, I've been very lenient with you. Practically irresponsible if you get right down with it. I'd say it was because there were a lot of other people who's strings I was pulling to ready them, but in reality there was a very nice beach I found and the sun was warm and I fell asleep for about a year. Like my tan?" 

She slid a dark, silky arm up his sleeve and he shivered.  It felt like all of his muscles had fallen asleep and the blood was rushing back into them.  It was incredibly unpleasant and strangely satisfying all at the same time.

She was very tan, he had to give her that.  In reality her original skin tone was bright blue, but she often changed it when appearing in a more human form, with only two of her four arms. His own vitamin-D starved skin paled even more with jealousy.  Her black hair was positively luxurious, and her nose and earrings sparkled in the dusky interior, making it seem like the lighting levels were intentional, rather than a result of lazy maintenance and cost-cutting measures. He grumbled that she looked very nice, and suggested maybe she should go back and take some more time off.

She leaned in close and squeezed his shoulder painfully.

"Now, Gerald, don't be such a grump. This prophecy has been set in motion for several hundred years at least, actually when you take into account your time jumping, I believe we are coming up on exactly a millennia since Geraldo first wrote it down." 

She spoke of Geraldo as if he were a close friend and hadn't been dead for a thousand years, but again, Fate is a non-linear elemental, and so it was possible, nay probable, that she was actually in both times at the same time.**

"It's time Gerald. You know what you've got to do."

"Actually I don't..." Gerald whined.

"It doesn't matter," she waived away his protest, "all will be made clear. You've read the prophecy plenty of times."

"Not in 16 years I haven't. Can't be quite sure what it says anymore can I?" Gerald whined.

Fate patted his shoulder in a "chin up" sort of manner, since she has no compassion, and cannot understand anyone's reluctance to embrace their lot in life, regardless of personal outcomes.

"Could you just maybe hint at the outcome?  Just for some reassurance?"

"No spoilers.  That would ruin all the fun!  Plus I can't go messing with Destiny," Fate replied.

"But you're Fate! Isn't that exactly what you do?" He cried.

"Oh no, no. I don't understand why people get this so confused," she huffed, spinning on her stool.

"No, I'm just the messenger really. If you want a change of destiny then you'll have to ask the gods for that."

"And do they ever answer?" Gerald asked, staring back into his empty cup, which was the embodiment of exactly how he felt at that moment.

"Not usually, no. But it usually doesn't hurt to ask."***

At this point she decided the conversation really was done with, for she really needed to go and adjust Rose's path just a hair, and then there were some random people who needed killing over in the capital so that certain other things could happen. She really had overslept quite a lot on that beach.

This whole conversation lasted less than 5 minutes, and of course Gerald was the only one in the establishment who could actually see Fate. But since Gerald was clearly drunk, nobody through twice about him having a conversation with an invisible entity.

A few minutes later the bar tender asked if he wanted another glass of wine, and for the first time in seven years, eight months, and twenty one days Gerald refused. He groaned as he slid off his stool and shuffled toward the door, dragging his feet, and sighing as loudly as he could.

His life had been miserable since the moment he set foot in this magic-hating future, and he was pretty certain it was only going to get worse. But as Fate said, his destiny was penned down a thousand years prior (which led to every male child in his family being named Gerald for 700 years - each generation hoping their child would be "The Gerald" from the prophecy because they had no idea what they were getting into), and he may as well meet it sober.

**********

Rose was several towns away, standing in front of Oren while he looked her up and down, frowning and muttering to himself. He seemed to be trying to figure something out about her, but whatever it was he kept it to himself, and she was becoming quite uncomfortable.

He came over and peered into her face so closely that she could smell his breath (a mixture of sheep's milk and tooth decay), and she leaned her head back to keep from suffocating. She'd never been alone with their leader before. His dislike of children was well known, and while she considered herself pretty much an adult at 16, most of the time she was still treated like less than a full member of the commune.

This was due to the fact that most of the members happened to be highly co-dependent women who unconsciously - except for Auntie Deborah who was highly introspective, but didn't care to change - kept the children in a perpetually infantilized state to feel needed and loved.

It was also due to Oren never considering that he should come up with a right of passage for the young members of the commune, because he'd never intended to have young members in the first place. Even after 8 years, he did his best to completely ignore their existence. Until today.

Rose was just undergoing a thoughtful revelation in regards to her co-dependent Aunties when she suddenly found herself thrown out of her chair onto the floor as Oren straddled her.

"IN THE NAME OF D'LORDE I RELEASE YOU!" he yelled holding the sacred tome above her head other hand raised high.

"BEGONE DEMON!"

"Umm..." said Rose, "what are you doing?"

"Shut up, I'm performing an exorcism," said Oren, flipping through the book's pages.

"OH LORDE, I CALL YOU FORTH FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE UNIVERSE. BESTOW YOUR STRENGTH IN ME THAT I CAN RELEASE THIS CHILD IN YOUR NAME!"

"Release me from what?" asked Rose. She felt quite trapped under him at the moment and felt she would be much better released if he wasn't straddling her.  She also could see the fine cotton lining of his robe from where she was laying and was becoming angry about her apparently unnecessarily itchy clothing.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" He spat, flipping the page. He made a complicated movement with his hand and then cried,

"FF EICH RHYDDHAU!" Slapping the book loudly and bringing it to hover just above her nose. It smelled largely of body odor and poorly-tanned leather.

He got up and looked down at her, trying to discern any change.

"Can I get up now?" she asked.

"There's got to be another way to figure this out," he muttered, walking around his desk. He put down the book and leaned on his hands, hanging his head.

"Figure what out exactly?" She inquired.

"What?" Oren wasn't listening. It wasn't his forte.

"I asked what you were trying to figure out" Rose said.

"Umm..." Oren weighed his options and decided to try something unorthodox. He told her the truth.

"The Book of D'Lorde speaks of a Child of D'Lorde."  Oren grabbed The Book and flipped to a page he'd never read in any of the sermons before.  He'd actually never read it before at all because it hadn't existed before that day.  He was slightly startled that he couldn't find the rhyming passage he'd read the day before, but this one would do, and actually sounded much more in keeping with the rest of The Book of D'Lorde's literary style. (No book likes to plagiarize - not even The Book of D'Lorde.  An apocalypse is one thing, plagiarism is quite another.)

"When the scorpion scuttles between the stars, and the Red Warrior is eclipsing Uranus, then shall the sun shall hide its face at her coming.  His child rides on the howling wolf, and breaking invisible walls, shall set D'Lorde free.  Judgement day shall be upon you."****

"Oh," said Rose. "And you think I'm this Child?"

Something was bothering her, something about the inference that D'Lorde wasn't free, since that seemed contrary to everything he'd ever said before about D'Lorde being everywhere around them, all the time.

"I was trying to confirm my suspicions - there's a passage about home incineration being a sign."

"Sorry, I don't think it worked," Rose said.

"Actually I think it did.  If you had been anyone by the Child of D'Lorde it would have probably killed you.  Given that, plus setting the doghouse on fire, I'm sorry to say it seems highly likely." 

"Why are you sorry?  Shouldn't this revelation be a miracle?" Rose asked, confused, and also hadn't missed the fact that he was unconcerned about potentially killing her to confirm his suspicions.  "Also, I told you, I didn't set it on fire, it just happened.  You said it was a miracle of D'Lorde proving his power and omnipotence!" 

"Ah, yes, well it was clearly that as well.  He was illuminating you as his child."  Oren cleared his throat and pulled at his collar like it was too tight.  "Well my dear, here's the thing...You being alive seems to mean the end of...well...everything.  And since I am not much of a believer, prefer to hedge my bets, and will not abide an eternity of canned beets, I can't have Judgement Day coming anytime soon."

Rose was struggling to figure out what canned beets had to do with anything while he continued. 

"Also, you have a bit of a history of home incineration.  It's why you were at the orphanage in the first place.  I can't have you staying around to burn down the commune, and I certainly can't have you bringing about Judgement Day, so I'm afraid I will have to burn you for being a witch."*****

Fate watched from the window, nodding satisfactorily. She hadn't been late after all, and now that the prophecy was moving forward she considered popping back to that beach.

__________________________
Next time on The Dark Heir...
The town gets ready for a "good old" witch burning.
Things do not go according to plan.
Lorred D'Kay gets his groove back.
_________________________

*
Sometimes she takes the shape of a pack of corgis. She may or may not currently reside in Buckingham Palace, having become accustomed to being pampered by the Queen, when she showed up to deliver the Queen's own fate. Sometimes even elementals can become lazy and overfed, don't judge.

**
Fate's original form is an intersex being with two faces, four arms, and four legs, and bright blue skin. She, for she preferred to go by the she/her pronouns, has one face looking forward into the future, and one face looking back into the past. Either face can be in the present, but since time is a constantly moving entity, one could argue, and indeed many have, that there is no actual present at all. It calls into question the sanity of anyone who is trying to "live in the present," since it can, and has, been argued that what they are attempting is actually completely impossible, and it would be better for everyone if they could get on with their lives in a less condescending manner.

***
While this is usually true, there was once a case of a man who did ask too much. Every time he prayed, and he was one who ascribed to the five prayers a day method, he asked for the same impossible wish to be granted to him by the gods. The gods thought that after a while he would get the message that it wasn't going to happen, but he didn't. After 56 years of asking for the same thing five times a day, 365 days a year, on his 102,201st wish, they had had enough and killed him right then and there. Apparently 102,200 asks are all you get.

****
In fact, it would not be Heaven on Earth, it would be nothing, because the Earth would be destroyed. But neither The Book of D'Lorde nor Oren were about to be truthful about that.

*****
Witches were just female magicians, and were actually quite common and useful people. However, due to the bad press Mages and Magicians got after the incident with Rose's mother and the last King, they were no longer tolerated.  In an effort to continue to help people, they rebranded themselves as scientists.  Unfortunately there continued to be random people who were labeled as Witches (a gender-neutral term) over the years.  Usually they were women or men who weren't happy with their lot society, and didn't like people telling them what to do or how to behave.  Occasionally they were actually mages who got fed up with having to be in the closet.  Either way, they usually ended up being burned at the stake.  The actual mages just pretended to burn and then moved on.  The regular people weren't so lucky.