It's wrong to doubt the Moon Goddess, but as I make my way to the pack house, I can't help but question her purpose for mating me and Theo.

The rogue I was locked up with was right; the Alpha does not give punishments lightly, and I fear my hesitations with our bond are deserved. Even so, the pull in my heart isn't deterred. Somewhere far inside of me—mind, body, and soul—his claim has been etched, and it coaxes my admiration.

The front door is still unlocked when I arrive back, so I let myself in and shut it behind me. I step out of my shoes and go directly upstairs, but my attention snags on the master's double doors, and I swing around the railing post towards them. I stop and stare and simultaneously listen for Maude in the kitchen; she must be drinking tea because I don't hear anyone working.

Lily was right when she said there were reasons we can't venture past the border freely; horrible things are rumored to occupy the world beyond Rowan's territory. As a child, I imagined unclaimed land to be ridden with beasts worst that the most vicious rogue, giant shadows that loom over the fiercest warriors, and landscapes so harsh not even the strongest of wolves can traverse them.

At school, children loved to whisper about unclaimed land, insisting it had no moon, or daring each other to run onto it, even for a second.

But I found none of those things to be true. What I did find is Alpha Draven, and perhaps Alpha Rowan's reason for securing his border isn't to protect us from dubious monsters; it's to protect us from leaders like Draven. And that—behind two measly doors—is his bedroom.

And I am his mate.

I reach for one of the handles and open the door slightly, creating just enough space to call, "Theo?"

No one is inside.

It seems masochistic to do so, but I push the door further until I see most of the room. My fingers pick at one another, so I ball them into fists. His scent wafts out and wraps around me, and I let it reel me in, trespassing again. My steps are short and cautious at first—my adrenaline spikes and my heart thunders—but my fear gradually soothes, and I reckon the soothing is an effect of Theo's scent. How ironic, I think.

His bedroom is masculine in its color palette yet soft and comfortable in its textures. I run my fingertips along the end of the bed as though they're dipping into a pool of water. It feels like everywhere I go, I shouldn't be there, but I should belong in my mate's bedroom. I want to belong with my mate in his pack, yet Theo seems far from loving, and I feel no more welcome here than I did the night I left home. The women who work in the pack house are kind, but it's obvious I'm an outsider.

As expected, our bond persists within me. But what if my surge of new feelings isn't returned? Does he feel our bond as strongly as I do?

I'm afraid he doesn't. By the way my cellmate described him, I should be surprised he even has a heart for mine to link to.

Conflicted, I stride to one of the elegantly framed windows and gaze out at the forest, yearning for clarity as I sneak about like a mouse on a trap-ridden floor.

Footsteps ascending the stairs drive my heart into my throat. Submerging myself in his scent rendered me blind to his return, but my realization comes too late. I hurry to the bedroom doors on the balls of my feet and draw the open door closed behind me, but it's pointless. When the door latches into place, and I look at the stairs, Theo is there staring like a judge of the dead. I release the door handle as my arms cover with goosebumps.

"I'm sorry," I breathe.

"Are you?"

"Yes, I-I shouldn't have gone in."

"Why did you?" he questions, even-tempered yet maintaining a formidable aura. "Is there something you need?"

"No." Sheepish, I repeat, "I'm sorry," hoping he'll let me off, even if its out of pity, but Theo eyes me as though I have something hidden behind my back.

Thankfully, he settles. "Right."

I step away from the door, and, before he questions me again, I change the subject: "I should see my family—tell them I'm mated."

He exhales, glancing at the bedroom doors. "You came from the East. Did you belong to Rowan?"

I nod.

"Then I can't send you."

My brow furrows. "But—"

"Even so, you shouldn't be far. You could go into heat."

My cheeks flush bright red. "I-I..."

Heat is something Mom's been sprinkling in our conversations about matehood for years.

I avert my gaze and try to leave for the spare room, but Theo moves in front of me. My blush worsens. "If you want to see your family, they have to come here," he says.

"What if they can't?"

"Then there's nothing I can do."

I scoff but quickly regret it. Thankfully, Theo doesn't find this a punishable offense, and he moves past me, going into the master bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

So much for talking later.

Now in the hall alone, I cower to the spare room, still flustered by his mention of heat. A mate is supposed to bring lifelong security and love, but I'm more uncertain of my future than ever before. I'm teetering between my family and the Goddess, but I'm told my family is out of reach, and even if I choose the Goddess and her match for me, Theo's commitment is far from promised.

How could this be fate? None of this feels as though it was meant to be.

***

I wash my hands and splash my face with cool water as the sink runs. I twist the crystal knobs to shut off the faucet, and I notice the cursive 'D' carved into the metal that the crystal surrounds.

I change my clothes, braid my honey-colored hair, tear out the braids, and braid it another way. By the sound of his footsteps, Theo is in and out of the pack house, and I listen like I'm hiding in the walls. My boredom starts to consume me, so I leave the bedroom later in the day while he's gone and venture to the kitchen where someone tends to be.

I grin at the sight of Elise. "Hi."

She looks up from an open notebook on the counter. "Celeste—erm, I should call you Luna, shouldn't I?"

"No, call me Celeste. I won't know who you're talking to if you don't."

"It's a lot to adapt to, I'm sure. I couldn't imagine suddenly being mated to an Alpha, gaining a title, living somewhere else." I follow her gaze to the window across the kitchen. She promptly taps her fingers on the notebook's pages and looks at them with a stiff smile. "Actually, I could," she adds.

I drift closer, to the other side of the counter. "Without all the fine details, it does sound like a dream come true."

"Of course. It's never as simple as it seems, is it? Alphas are frustrating and difficult like all other men if you don't mind me saying that."

"Not at all. It's really nice to hear someone else say what I'm thinking."

"Then I'll commend you for being so open-minded. Alpha Draven isn't an easy one. What does your family think of the match?"

"They don't know yet, but hopefully soon I can visit and tell them."

"I'm sure they'll be proud. An Alpha is an Alpha, after all."

I run my bottom lip through my teeth. "Do you think they might—I dunno—not like him?"

Elise asks, "Do they know about him as an Alpha?"

"My parents, maybe, but I'm not sure. We don't talk about other packs, Alphas, and those kinds of conflicts at home. If we doubt our Alpha's ability to protect us that's—"

"Disrespectful? Yeah, I get it. These men and their egos. Personally — and I'll only say this because we're the only people in the house—I believe a female Alpha might be a nice change of pace. Women can have the blood, can't they?"

My smile resurfaces. "Maybe one day it will happen."

Elise reflects my grin.

I lean over the counter and ask, "What are you reading?"

"Oh, these are just recipes. I'll be starting dinner soon."

"I'd be happy to help," I offer. "I cook all the time at home."

"Who am I to refuse my Luna's help, right? Have you filleted a salmon?" I hold my breath for a second, so she says, "There's a salad too."

Elise takes out a whole fish, and I watch as she slices it apart. Usually, the fish I cook have already been beheaded and deboned by the pack's butcher, so I ask, "Where did you learn this?"

"My father was the previous Alpha's cook."

"He worked for Theo's father?"

"Yeah. My father worked in the pack house when I was growing up, so I was always hanging out here or at the gardens where my mom works. Eventually, I was tall enough to stand at the counter, so I started to help. My father retired and presented me to replace him, and now it's been five years."

"And you're happy here?"

She shrugs. "I like the work; it comes naturally to me. And even though Alpha Draven is all intimidating out there, in the pack house, he's pretty reasonable."

"Are you mated? If you don't mind me—"

"Not yet, surprisingly, considering I'm twenty-five, but it's fine. My mate will come when she comes."

As Elise cooks the salmon fillets on the stove, I piece together the salad and set the table in the dining room, creating a place setting at the head of the table and the chair to its left; Elise specifies this. The glassware is heavy and painstakingly clear, and the silverware shines like it's been polished just this morning. Everything in this house is pristine, and I'm in awe of the work Elise and Maude must put in to keep it so.

As I'm placing the final touches on the table, I hear the front door open and close only to be followed by footsteps upstairs—Theo's footsteps.

His mention of me in heat suddenly jostles to the front of my mind. I return to the kitchen and stare into the salad bowl. I wonder what heat feels like—why it's so necessary for me to be near Theo when it happens. I know it has to do with mating and that mating is a serious, intimate, physical thing concerning pregnancy and childbearing, but Mom danced around the details during her explanations.

"Table ready?" Elise asks.

I spin around and see her plating. "Yeah, it's ready. I might not have everything in the right places but..."

"That's fine. If the Alpha mentions it, you just tell him you helped out."

A breathy laugh weakens my stone face. "I will, don't worry."

Truthfully, the thought of owning my mistakes in front of him makes me panic.

"Here, carry these in. The Alpha will be down any minute."

I take the plates from Elise and bring them into the dining room. As I'm setting them down, Theo descends the staircase and passes by, stopping once he sees me standing off to the side. He eyes my setup and comes around the table.

"Helping?" he questions.

I nod.

Elise appears in the smaller doorway which connects the kitchen to the dining room via a butler's pantry. "The usual pairing to drink?" she asks.

"I can—"

"Please, you've done enough. Sit down," she tells me. "I'll get the wine."

Theo takes his seat, so I lower into the other and scoot myself in with a stiff spine.

"Now will be a good time to talk," he says, and I feel as though I'm finally receiving my reprimanding for two accounts of trespassing.

"I didn't mean to overstep earlier. I just... I'm having a hard time figuring out where I should and shouldn't be," I say.

"I understand, but you aren't in trouble."

"Still?"

Theo asks, "Do you want to be?"

"No, of course not. That's not what I meant." I pause and explain, "I was told for a long time how things are when people are mated, but, so far, this situation is not at all like what I was told. And you say I'm not in trouble, but I can't see my family or, well, go home at all, and that doesn't make sense."

Elise delivers a bottle of white wine and two wine glasses, and the conversation pauses. She pours one and places it next to Theo's plate, and then she fills the second and gives it to me. Never having had wine before, I survey it.

"Call if you need anything," Elise says and vanishes again.

"Why did you leave your home pack?" Theo asks.

I swallow and improvise, "Because my mate wasn't there, and I'm getting too old to be unmated."

Slight confusion shows on his face. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-one."

Theo looks somewhat amused. "So you went to search for your mate on your own?"

"Y-yes. I suppose I did." More words are on the tip of my tongue, but I hold myself back.

However, there is no withholding from Theo. With his elbows on the table, he says, "There seems to be more you want to say."

I adjust in my seat. "Well, I just want to understand why you are the way you are when it comes to us being mated. It's still very new, but i-it's like you don't like it. Like you won't acknowledge it unless you have to."

"Is it something that has to be admitted if we both feel it and know it exists?"

His answer is far from what I want to hear. I contend with his heavy stare, not wanting to be the first to concede, but the heat growing on my face and the threat of upset urge me to give in. Alphas and their egos, Elise said. So, the problem must be me.

I push my chair out, about to get up—the pressure of his look, presence, and scent are all pushing down on me, and it's far too heavy—but Theo grabs my forearm and keeps me in place. Our mate bond stirs with pleasure.

"You mentioned heat like it's a chore," I fire, talking fiercely about something so unfamiliar to me.

"Sit down."

"You said I'm not in trouble."

"You aren't."

"I'm not?" My bottom lip quivers as I stare at him and then at his hand.

He lets go. "You're my mate, Celeste. You're mine. Do you want to hear more?"

"No," I breathe even though it isn't true. Nothing has sounded as alluring as his claim.

I stand and leave the dining room without another word as his cycle in my thoughts endlessly.