Prologue

"I love you, Milo."

He held his breath.

A thousand thoughts struck him at once, and he felt the surge of both a panic attack and just straight up screaming for joy. His heart swelled until he felt his chest would burst, his stomach contracted so sharply he wanted to vomit, and frankly he couldn't control the tears that immediately filled his eyes as he pinched his lips together.

He never thought he'd hear someone say those words to him.

In fact, he double checked to make sure his translation was correct.

But who was he kidding?

Those liquid clear golden eyes shimmered in the candlelight, watching him in the reflection of the large gilded mirror in front of them.

Those eyes didn't lie.

That face didn't lie.

His first memories were of that face, of those golden eyes, of that crooked smile. Hair so black it seemed to hold an almost bluish-iridescent tint, soft and just flipped at the ends. All of his memories filled with laughter, holding hands, snuggling together under the blankets, giggling and sharing made up stories of the world outside their bubble.

He knew he was young.

They both were.

It was silly to take those words and fly with them, but Milo couldn't help it. It was the first time anyone had ever said those words to him. He doubted he'd ever hear them for the rest of his life.

Growing up in the compound had been lonely, even as one of Mother's favorites. And, oh so boring with class after class, instructor after instructor, teaching him the way of war. By the time he was ten, he could wield a weapon as good as his guardians.

The only softness he recalled, the only joy he had ever felt, came at the hands of his destiny.

His destiny.

That was what Mother had said.

Jasper was his destiny, and he was Jasper's. A force so powerful, Mother dared to compare it to the Source itself. He hadn't believed her in the beginning, not when she had placed that tiny fat baby on the blanket in front of him. Even as a child himself, he'd been appalled that Mother would leave him alone with a baby, least of all her most prized possession; her first successful artificial, and who they had been ordered to call her son.

That baby had seemed so unimpressive to him when he was young. The infant could barely keep his own head up, let alone stand and face battle some day. He had almost scoffed at Mother, but when he'd turned, she was gone.

He felt a tug and snapped his head around to see that chubby little baby had somehow gotten onto his stomach, wiggled over and grabbed onto his pant leg. He stared at those clear golden eyes that stole his breath away, even as a child himself.

From that moment on, he'd done everything in his power to help Mother. Anything to give this tiny innocent being love and joy. Mother promised him that.

Jasper was going to be what the world needed.

And as his handler, he needed to do everything in his power to help Jasper do that.

But as the years dragged on, as he found himself glued to Jasper's side day and night, he began to grow concerned over the feelings stirring in his chest, in his heart.

Jasper had been a constant from the moment he appeared.

Milo couldn't imagine a day without him.

And that scared him.

It scared him to be so dependent on someone for the first time in his life, and it scared him to have someone want and need him too.

It scared him that Jasper was so important to him that there were times he'd found himself fantasizing more seriously about escaping.

Escape.

If that thought crossed his mind when he was around Jasper, he wouldn't live another day.

All he could manage in response to Jasper's confession was a little sob.

"Shit," Jasper said immediately and Milo couldn't contain a helpless laugh at his profanity or the fact that Jasper was cupping his face in his hands, "Milo, no, I'm sorry—"

"Don't you dare apologize," Milo managed, reaching up to place his hands over Jasper's on his face and Jasper looked at him in confusion, "No take-backs." Jasper blinked, then felt his lips twitch at their common whispered joke.

"Then why are you crying?" Jasper whispered, brushing his thumbs under Milo's eyes.

"Because I love you too," Milo managed, making Jasper blink, then stare at Milo anxiously, eyes wide, "I kept... I thought... Fuck, just give me a second." Jasper cocked his head, peering into Milo's face as he stroked his cheeks gently.

"Are they those happy tears you told me about?" He asked after a moment. Milo nodded, sniffling and Jasper's lips pulled into a slow, sheepish smile.

"May I kiss you?" Jasper asked. Milo flushed, looking at him.

"How do you know about kissing?" He whispered. Jasper blushed.

"Ah, uh... Mother told me that's what people do when they especially love each other," he answered. Milo didn't want to answer with his immediate thought, which was not necessarily, or so he'd heard the guardians speak. It was strange how Jasper had grown up so sheltered, so protected, while Milo had found himself learning about sex by the time he was ten.

The fact that Jasper was asking for a kiss...

It was so sweet.

"Just a little kiss," Milo murmured, his eyes lowering to Jasper's lips. Those golden eyes flashed and he was gifted a crooked smile.

"Just a little kiss," he agreed softly, drawing closer.

The kiss was soft, sweet, and simple.

Yet it had become everything in that moment, Milo realized, feeling another surge of tears run down his cheeks and this time, Jasper was kissing away each tear with such a tender sweetness.

He was going to cherish this moment for the rest of his life.

And he did.

Until the day he died.