Chapter Eleven

"You want to name my Beast?"

The idea seemed funny to me at the time.

I remembered sitting on the sofa in the apartment I shared with Milo back at the compound. We still weren't married, still young, but mother didn't care about letting us live together. Our compatibility and our tag team challenges had only reassured mother that her instincts for our partnership had been right.

"Yeah," Milo said from his spot on the other end of the sofa, eating a bowl of cereal as some old cartoons played on a loop on the TV, "I mean, we can't just keep calling him Beast."

"Everyone just calls it a monster," I deadpanned, making Milo frown a little and glance at me, "I don't think monsters need names."

"How can you say that," Milo murmured, making me frown and look at him as he set his food aside and turned to face me, "Jasper, your Beast and you saved my life. Every time we step into that ring together and you trust me. Your Beast is not a monster. He's... darling." A chill stole up my spine at that and I felt the Beast inside stirring, like he seemed to enjoy the nickname.

I felt heat rising in my cheeks, because I couldn't possibly imagine anyone calling my Beast a darling, and it was generally Milo's nickname for me to begin with.

"He could kill you someday," I muttered uncomfortably, reaching up to rub at my neck, but Milo caught my hand and drew it to his lips. I stared at him as he kissed my knuckles, and more chills erupted up my spine, goosebumps prickling my skin as Milo held his lips against my knuckles for a moment, then smiled up at me.

"Then let him," he said softly, making my eyes widen, "Darling won't hurt me, Jasper, don't be scared. I trust him... and I trust you." He kissed me again and I flushed.

"Darling... is so uncool," I mumbled and Milo laughed softly, then scooted closer so he could put his arms around my chest. I sighed at that, tilting my head to rest against his as we snuggled on the sofa now.

"Darling is cute," Milo said, reaching up to put his finger on my nose teasingly and I smirked at that, "Darling is powerful and badass and totally cool. Because he's my darling, forever and always." I laughed, taking his hand and drawing his knuckles to my lips for a kiss.

The memory was brief, and when I opened my eyes to stare up at my apartment ceiling in Styx, my heart ached something fierce. I reached up, brushing my fingers by where Milo had touched my nose, then let my hand drop to the sofa limply.

It hurt, I noted.

Heartache hurt more than any injury I'd received over the years, which was funny considering the shit I'd experienced. And yet, those injuries, the physical damage, always faded quickly. Bruises didn't last long, and even the blow from Beni the other day was fully healed as if it had never been there.

But the ache in my chest seemed to be ever present. Some days the pain was dull, other days the pain was intense, and having had a good dream for the first time in a long time... hurt.

It hurt to remember what used to be.

It hurt to remember the person who would forever own my heart and soul.

I closed my eyes for a moment, then rolled over and took my phone off the coffee table to check my messages. A couple of reminders from Kali, one to eat breakfast and the second that she was going to get to work on looking for answers. A text from April called me a fucking idiot for ever letting a child live with her and Kali, because now Kali was refusing to put out, and I don't see how that was my fault, or Elias's, so I just sent a sticker of a kid picking his nose and moved onto the next message.

A text from Diego telling me he was hearing good things about my appointments with Wren. I wasn't entirely sure what that meant, considering Wren and I hadn't done anything more than heavy petting the last few appointments.

It was strange, because he always went to start his little ritual of just folding his jacket up all nice and neat, and trying to act like it was a doctor's appointment. We'd engage in some argumentative foreplay before inevitably we ended up humping on the bed, making out or sucking dick. And by sucking dick, I meant me.

Somehow, I had a feeling Wren wasn't quite ready to give one of those himself.

A quick memory of sucking on his tongue until he came, crying out against my lips, his eyes glazed over and rolling up in his head as he trembled. It was so fun to watch him go from flustered and annoyed to a melted little puddle of sex at just the littlest things.

No, it was even more fun to watch Wren walk out of his appointments looking incredibly satisfied, skin smooth and glowing, hair shiny and just a bit disheveled... and he'd gained weight. It wasn't enough to be too noticeable, unless you were, of course, scaling his body a couple times a day, delving your tongue into every nook and cranny—

"You're disgusting," came D'Angelo's voice and I shut my eyes for a second to summon the control not to just mutilate his spirit, condemn him to Gehenna, hell, flush his fuckin' soul down the theological toilet and into the nearest waste treatment plant.

"See, when two boys love each other very much," I started, but D'Angelo made a noise of supreme disgust and while he couldn't hold himself corporeal at the moment, he did have enough strength to send an empty bowl at the wall where it shattered to pieces.

"Stop fucking around with them," D'Angelo barked and I just smiled as I sat up and started getting ready for work, "If you think they're not onto you, you're an idiot. You can't just woo Hades's grandson without him finding out. He has people everywhere, he—"

"Since when were you such a big Hades fan?" I asked. D'Angelo was seething. I could feel it heating the air nearby.

"I far prefer him over Hera, she's going to destroy this entire family, your family, right?"

"Last I checked, I don't have any family."

"What about the other artificials," D'Angelo demanded and I pretended his comment didn't bother me as I laced up my boots, "I'm not an idiot, I hear you talking to them, defending them, protecting them. If you really cared about their safety and wellbeing, you wouldn't be bending over backwards to obey Hera, she—"

"How about you don't pretend to know what's going on," I asked, then turned to face where I knew he was standing and I felt D'Angelo's unease at that as I cocked my head and stared right through him, "I have an idea, why don't you just go back to being dead and quiet?" D'Angelo only managed a strangled protest before I drew my hand up and clenched my fist. I felt his spirit dissipate and sail through the air, returning to where I kept it stored in a necklace on the counter.

I finished lacing up my boots, then grabbed my jacket off the nearby chair.

"You know, patience is a virtue," I said, heading for the door, "You won't be trapped here for the rest of eternity, cherub. But don't think for one second that your life hinges on mother at this point. If I wanted you dead, I would kill you. Don't make me change my mind." I left him with that final thought and left the apartment.

Of course, D'Angelo wasn't on my hitlist, so he was safe, but he didn't need to know that.

On top of that, he was a nosy fuck. Obviously I couldn't hide certain things from him given that we lived together, but was it a little too much to ask for some privacy? Could ghosts be confined to timeout until it was time to release him?

I considered that as I headed to work. Instead of going through the front, though, I went around back to have a cigarette before heading inside. Of course, I slowed when I realized Beni was already outside smoking, leaning against the wall of the building.

"I didn't know you smoked," I commented as I approached. Beni stiffened and shot me a glare, flicking ash off the end of his smoke before he took another hit.

"Not nicotine," he muttered, glancing at my cigarettes. I smiled as I tapped a cigarette out, then paused as I drew it to my lips. I lowered it as Beni blew out a large cloud of smoke that confirmed he was smoking marijuana.

"Hey," I said, making him glare at me, "I didn't take Wren from you intentionally, and whether you believe that or not, I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings." Beni blinked, then looked up, like he was confused by that before he glared.

"You practically threatened to do it. You're saying you didn't do it on purpose? Bullshit," he tacked on, taking another hit. Judging from his heavy lids, he was pretty stoned, and probably for the best and explained why the guy wasn't stuffing my head in the nearest garbage disposal.

"I was joking," I said, putting the cigarette between my lips and lighting it with the flick of my fingers. Beni watched me.

"That's the problem with you," he muttered, looking down at the cobblestones, "I can't tell when you're serious or fucking with people."

"That's kind of the point," I answered, making him scowl at me, "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize. My intention wasn't to hurt you."

"Then what is your intention," Beni asked, flicking ash off his smoke and pushing off the wall to face me now, "There's no way you're here for the good of the community."

"I just need a fresh start," I replied, taking a drag and pausing because now it seemed like every time I took a drag, I thought of Wren in my mouth. I licked my lips as Beni studied me suspiciously.

"Not a good way to restart," he pointed out and I shrugged.

"Sometimes we gotta stumble to get back up," I answered. Beni blinked, then scowled.

"Whatever. Apology not accepted."

"I didn't think so."

"And it's not because I'm jealous or anything," Beni added, making me raise an eyebrow at him as he smooshed his smoke out on a nearby disposal lid, "I don't trust you. Especially with Wren."

"What makes Wren so special?" I asked him. Beni stared at me.

"Wren is Hades's grandson. It makes him a vital client to this company... And Wren is a lot more fragile than you think he is," he added, making me glance at him as he headed for the back door.

"Are we talking about his proctology routine?" I asked. Beni blinked, then turned to stare at me.

"We don't discuss client privacy."

"Bullshit," I stated, making Beni narrow his eyes, "Office gossip happens everywhere all the time. My question is, the reason you and Wren didn't work out, was it his weird views on sex?" Beni sighed in frustration. He raked a hand through his hair, glancing up at the cameras that were watching us above, then he glared at me.

"They're not weird," Beni said at last, which surprised me, "He's... Wren has gone through a lot, and don't get me wrong, his family loves and adores him, but there are some things he doesn't share with them. Some things he needs to work out on his own." I frowned, because I wasn't entirely sure what that meant and I didn't have a chance to ask as he disappeared into the building, leaving me with food for thought.

Last I checked, Wren's history was pretty brief, or what had been gathered from our recon team. He was found wandering the deserts of the United States after being abandoned by his family due to his Lust curse. The Lust curse very often led to families abandoning their children. It was a little hard to have a child around who was constantly giving you disgusting bodily reactions and it wasn't even the kid's fault.

In the end, they were usually left for dead.

Wren was rescued by a mortal realm organization made for children of otherworldly creatures. He was adopted almost immediately by Stanton and Alaric, who had been searching for children specifically found in the mortal realm. Apparently Stanton really liked mortals, which still kind of threw me for a loop, but I suppose I had never spent nearly as much time around them as he did.

Since then, Wren had been homeschooled, because they couldn't risk sending him to a public school. His only social interactions came from his Cousins and family, so when it came to outsiders, he tended to be a bit shy and withdrawn.

His work for Kin came when Alaric and Stanton realized they couldn't keep Wren locked up for the rest of his life to keep him safe. So, in order to help him dip his toes in the world outside, Kin had set him up with a job collecting debt from his clients.

Wren was also a good fighter. I hadn't seen him myself in action, but I had seen a few brief news clips that mostly centered around his Cousins causing chaos. In the videos, Wren fought quickly and easily. He didn't enjoy the fight. He wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible, and he was good at doing so.

But nothing in the reports said anything about trauma centered around sexual experiences, considering Wren's sexual experiences were limited to The Winged Serpent. They'd started sending Wren here when he hit puberty in order to control his urges and his curse safely.

Had Wren been doing the bend and dash all this time?

No wonder he was fuckin' skinny.

I sighed, flicking the butt of my cigarette in the nearby bin before I headed inside. I passed the no-name security guard at the back entrance, and while his eyes were once again hidden by those black wraparound shades, I could feel him watching me intently as I walked down the hall.

He was the only concern I had when it came to moving around The Winged Serpent freely. I couldn't read his mind because of those damn shades. He didn't wear a name tag or introduce himself or anything. The other workers just worked around him as if he didn't exist, including Malto and Antonio, and you'd think he'd at least have contact with the front security guards, but they only mumbled excuse me in the hallway and that was about it.

I made my way to the room to prepare for my appointment with Wren. A glance at the clock signaled I had plenty of time to get ready. I picked up the menu off the nearby end table and called to the front desk. It was a moment before Marsha picked up, sounding sour, but at least she didn't call me an asshole this time.

"What can I do for you, Hex?" Marsha asked, voice tight.

"Can I get item number 4356? With the dog tag?" I added. There was a short pause that seemed to slowly elongate, and I couldn't hear any tapping or moving around to indicate she was doing what I asked. I let the silence go on for a second longer, just to give her time to cope with the order before she mumbled a response.

"I-I'm sorry, what? Is this Hex?" She asked.

"Yes? Last I checked anyway," I admitted with a shrug, "Anyway, yeah, 4356, the pastel pink leather set. And the dog tag that comes with the collar. I know that's extra, but I think I have enough built up over the past few days to cover that."

"I... Are you seeing another client?" Marsha asked. I smiled now and was glad she couldn't see my amusement. She clearly could not imagine Wren in the outfit, and honestly, how could she not? If anything, I feel like they made it just for him.

"Nope, it'll be for Wren," I said and there was another long pause, and I was starting to wonder if I had given Marsha some kind of coronary attack, "Uh, do I need to, like, specify a size for him or...?"

"Uh, no," Marsha said slowly, clearly not understanding what was happening judging from her slow confused response, "Uh, it's adjustable— Wait, for Wren?"

"I mean, if he wants to give me the collar, sure, but I don't think pink suits me very much."

"Yeah," no, she definitely wasn't paying attention now, "Uh huh. I'll, uh, get that sent up there before his appointment."

"Awesome, thanks, Marsha, I appreciate it." I hung up and looked down at the menu in my lap, smirking as I ran my finger over the collar. It had been a long time since I wore anything kinky and for a brief moment, I remembered the first time Milo had strapped me into leather gear.

Of course, that kind of behavior wasn't common in the compounds.

Sure, sex of all kinds happened, but the idea of dressing your partner up in leather seemed almost like torture to everyone else. And it was, but it was the good kind. The kind that made you ache and fall apart, melting into a pool of sex. The idea of someone being able to control you with nothing more than a command, or even a look.

Milo had a good look when he was horny too.

"Wow," Milo had murmured, stepping back to admire the black leather harness he'd hooked around my arms and chest, with perfect open loops around my nipples and straps for him to yank and pull on whenever he wanted, "Oh, Jasper, you look so good." He stroked his hands down my arms and I felt goosebumps creeping on my skin as I watched him admire the leatherwork against my skin.

He looked so proud of himself for his wardrobe choice, so in awe, as if he were in an art museum and admiring his favorite piece.

"It's just leather," I answered quietly as I watched him. Milo smiled, looping his finger into the strap in the middle of my chest, giving me a rough tug to get closer to him. My eyes widened at that and I felt heat rush to my cheeks as he yanked me down toward him, his dark eyes gazing up at me sweetly.

"You make it look sexy."

"Really?"

"Yes," Milo murmured, leaning up to brush his lips over mine and my breath hitched as I expected a kiss, but he pulled away at the last second to smile, "Hey, Jasper, wanna play with me?" I blinked, then gasped as he yanked me down abruptly to smash our lips together. I moaned, parting my lips immediately as I accepted his request and we backed up toward the bedroom.

It had been simple in the beginning. Just leather, just restraints, but the more we explored, the more exciting ideas we came across. Milo was always willing to answer my questions, share his ideas, and he was very firm about Darling getting worked up.

"Corner," Milo ordered as I hovered over him on all fours, breathing hard as drool oozed from my fangs, and while Darling was fierce inside me, salivating for a bite of Milo, I was able to crawl backwards and give Milo space. He sat up and pointed to the corner of the room again, so I slid off the bed and made my way to the corner of shame.

Darling was pissed, but it didn't change the fact that we were hard and aching and Milo was telling us what to do, so we had to do it.

I sat on my knees, albeit shakily, and I could feel Darling crawling under my skin. I groaned, shifting uncomfortably as I watched my vision crackle red in the corners. I looked over where Milo was sitting on the end of the bed, staring down at the floor, one arm across his stomach and the other gripping the bedpost.

"Sorry," I seethed, clenching my teeth against Darling's rage boiling inside me, "Sorry, Milo-Milo, I'm so sorry—" Milo blinked, snapping out of his momentary surprise at Darling's aggressiveness. He immediately pushed to his feet and came over to kneel in front of me, taking my face in his hands.

"Ssh, no, baby, ssh," Milo murmured, stroking the tears off my cheeks, "Don't cry, sweetie, you just gave me a little spook, that's all. I'll be okay—"

"Nooo," I moaned, dropping my head and Milo whimpered, clearly not liking my despair, "No, I don't want- I can't hurt you, Milo, if something were to happen to you—"

"No," Milo whispered, catching my face in his hands again and forcing me to look up at him as he gazed at me sadly, stroking my cheeks, "Don't even think about that. I trust you, darling, you'd never do anything to hurt me and I know that. It has nothing to do with your behavior, I just... Needed a second to cope." I looked at him, confused, but he didn't say anything. He just smiled and leaned in to kiss me on the cheeks, then my nose... my forehead, my lips, my ears.

I was back to moaning and squirming in no time, and this time, I let Milo get on top.

That seemed to work perfectly.

I wonder if it would work with Wren?

He seemed to have difficulties getting comfortable, perhaps he didn't want me on top? I had no problem with that.

There was a knock on the door and I sprang up and got to the door so fast that it caught Marsha off guard and she nearly dropped the leather box in her hands. She gasped and I caught it, taking it from her, and she stared at me.

"Thanks, Marsha," I said with a smile. She stared.

"Uh, yeah," she mumbled, peering into the room behind me, like she was expecting cameras and a film crew to be playing a prank. When she confirmed I was just lonely and single, she raked me with a suspicious stare from head to toe before sauntering off down the hallway. I watched her go, then closed the door behind me. I took the case over the bed and set it down to pop it open.

The contents were better in person.

The pink pastel leather set was gorgeous and well made with soft, but firm leather. It had just the right amount of hoops and hooks to connect him to the bedposts, or the headboard... or the shower rod.

The curtain rod in front of the window would be fun.

And, of course, last, but not least was the cute pink collar with a firm handle on the back and a little ring on the front, upon which dangled the iridescent heart-shaped dog tag.

Perfect.

I knew Wren's routine by now. His casual stride in, like today was the day he was going to put me in my place and make me do it the way he intended; boink and bounce. He'd go to the dresser, slide his jacket off while feeding me sarcastic bullshit about how he really wasn't interested in the foreplay today. His favorite thing to say?

I have better things to do.

He was trying to rev me up. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was trying to provoke me, and being able to rile him up right back was even better.

Of course, he'd do that thing where he dismisses the commentary, goes to the bed, and usually from there it was some form of foreplay. We hadn't gotten to any penetration, or anything really kinky. With the way Wren reacted in our previous appointments, he had a bit of a dominant streak. I felt it in the way he yanked my hair, stroked my face when I sucked him off, his praise giving me goosebumps right to my fucking toes.

But instead of Wren trying to pull his usual shit, it was about time to catch him off guard, so I laid the pink leather gear out on the bed, then went to the window to peer out at the side alley that looked over a couple of small commercial buildings. I felt my phone vibrate and sighed, taking out my phone to see a text from Kali.

When you have a chance, can you stop by? I'm with Polly. She's having a rough day.

My heart sank.

From her charts, it looked like things were starting to even out, but every time she plateaued, it seemed to immediately lead to another meltdown. I felt my anxiety spike as I texted back.

Tell her I love her. Even if she can't hear you. I immediately deleted the response, reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose. I shook my head and changed my message.

Watch her. What have you found regarding Valhalla? I hit the send button and looked up through the window. It was hard to see the street, but maybe if I watched, I'd catch sight of Wren on his way to the front. My phone buzzed and I looked down to see Kali's message.

Nothing alarming yet. Sounds like a lot of data is being funneled through the database there, though. Including information on all of the artificials. I frowned at her response, glancing up at the street before looking down again. Out of habit, I reached for my cigarette box, but quickly doubled back to the phone because I had a feeling Diego would definitely fire me for smoking in a non-smoking room.

All of them? I sent to her.

As I read her affirmative response, I stewed.

The general rule for information regarding the artificial project within the community was that it could never ever be kept all in the same place. Having that much information all hoarded together made it a prime target for the enemy.

Hades was dying to get his hands on all the artificials, reunite them with their families, save the day once again. If he had any contacts in Valhalla, that kind of information would be vital to him. He would drop his shit and hit Valhalla like a ton of bricks.

But at the same time, that meant mother was playing a game she hadn't told me about. When I had asked, she'd avoided divulging anything really useful. It made sense; she didn't want me anywhere near the artificials. I hadn't even met the newest ones and every day my anxiety surged at the thought of another one coming into existence, one I didn't even know about.

Because that meant the horror was just continuing.

With every new artificial came a tighter noose around my neck.

While Three, Niko, Five, Six, and Seven had escaped, that still left me with the others to deal with. They were too close to the mother to be safe, too young to understand the world beyond the walls. The last thing I needed to do was culture shock them in an attempt to save them.

For fuck's sake, Elias had a heart attack over a bubble bath.

No, at the end of the day, the reason Elias, Polly, Kali, and the others were still trapped fell on me. I had plenty of opportunities to break out, but in the end, I was too selfish to just fucking grab them and leave.

I wasn't leaving without a very very overdue goodbye.

The knock on the door startled me out of my thoughts. I blinked and looked down to see that Kali had sent me a picture of a drawing Polly had done just before her current meltdown. The sketches were shaky, yet somehow it added to the whimsy of her realistic art style. A rough sketch of Elias staring up at a large bubble.

I swallowed thickly.

Another knock and I clenched my teeth for a moment, then took a deep breath and shut off my phone. I closed my eyes to clear my head before I turned and leaned back against the windowsill.

"Do you really need to knock?" I called. There was a short pause before the door opened and Wren came inside.

His dirty blonde hair was still damp from a shower, his face freshly shaven and smooth, showing off that cute baby face. His dark eyes were downcast, like he refused to meet my eyes immediately and when he did, I watched them glimmer for a moment.

"It's respectful," Wren said as he came into the room.

He didn't notice the gear on the bed right away, which just made it so much better as I just smiled, folding my arms over my chest as I watched him do exactly what I expected him to.

He walked to the dresser and slid off his beat up leather jacket, giving it a neat fold and placing it on the dresser.

"That's a nice jacket," I commented, making him blink, then cast me a sideways scowl, "Did your daddy buy it for you?" Wren flushed, clenching his fists like he was ready to give me a face full of it.

"Why do you have to antagonize people?" He demanded, rolling up the sleeves of his henley as he approached the bed. He immediately stopped when he saw the gear, one hand still on his arm from pushing up his sleeve. He stared at the pink leather in silence.

I couldn't help it. I dove head first into his mind and I immediately regretted it, because it was just a loud siren. I snapped my eyes shut, pursing my lips to keep from making a noise at the instant headache it gave me. Confused as shit, I reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose to alleviate the pressure starting in my head.

I glanced up, because I couldn't miss this, but I was surprised to see Wren blushing. He studied the gear for a moment, even reached out and touched the harness that would go around his chest. He took his hand away, like he wasn't sure if he should touch it before he finally looked at me, still blushing from ear to ear.

"That's... not for me, right?" He asked. I smiled.

"It's for whatever you wanna do."

"I don't know how to use something like that," Wren said at last, turning away from the bed, but his eyes darted back one last time before he glanced at me, "Besides, it's pink." I cocked my head.

"The fun part," I said, pushing away from the windowsill and sliding past Wren, who barely moved as I went by him and I heard his sharp intake of breath at being so close, "Is that we get to learn how to use it together." I slipped the collar of the bed, gave it a spin on my finger and held it out to Wren, who stared at it with wide dark eyes. He looked at me, then the collar, then back again.

"It's pink," he said again, like that made a difference. I raised an eyebrow.

"Mmhm, glad we established we're both not colorblind," I answered, making him snort as I held the collar out to him. I started to drop it and he immediately caught it, so I let go and left him with the collar. He stared at it, then looked up at me. I smiled.

"Your move," I said. Wren stared at the pink collar in his hands, and he paused at the heart-shaped dog tag. He passed his thumb over it a couple times, and for some insane reason, that was the thing that got me hard first.

Just the thought of him stroking any part of my skin that way.

The sound of that tag jingling.

Wren looked at the collar for a moment longer, then slowly undid the clasp and it made a loud click as it came open in his hands. He slid it through his fingers, my fangs elongating as I watched him stroke the soft leather all the way around back to the dog tag again.

"It has a handle on it," he said quietly, pausing to thread his fingers through the handle. I had a very good image of his fist tightening around it, yanking hard and I could almost feel the material dig into my neck.

Fun, considering I hadn't thought about wearing the collar myself.

It'd been so long since I'd worn one. Since I'd worn anything like that.

There was only so much I was willing to do with strangers since Milo died.

But Wren didn't feel like a stranger.

No, it was strange. Wren felt different, yet at the same time, so familiar. Some of his mannerisms reminded me of Milo, but there was a fierceness to Wren that rivaled Milo's. Milo had been careful with me a lot, even when he was having a mood swing. I think he'd always been afraid of adding to the trauma of how we were raised.

With Wren, it seemed unadulterated, uncensored.

Click. The sound of the collar clicking closed right next to my ear brought me back as I stared down at Wren, who had reached up and clasped the collar around my neck. The material was a lot softer than I thought it would be, and somehow that just made it more erotic. Especially with Wren's warm breath near my neck as he settled back down onto his feet, his dark hooded eyes staring up at me.

I stared back at him.

"Are we gonna play?" I murmured. Wren ran his tongue across his bottom lip, peering up at me.

"Is that what this is called?" He asked.

"We can call it whatever you want," I answered, reaching up to brush the hair back from his face and he sucked in a breath as I stroked his cheek with my thumb, "An appointment. Casual sex. Or maybe you just want to think of me as your personal puppy. Remember, I'm here to serve." Wren sighed and I felt the tension easing out of him at being soothed. It was almost like he wanted reassurance that everything we were doing was okay, which was interesting. I hadn't thought of Wren as someone who was uncertain, but it was cute seeing him huff and puff until he got what he came for, and then some.

"You smell different," Wren murmured, making me raise an eyebrow as I watched him spread his hands out over my chest, like he was mostly just admiring my physique. My eyes followed him, his hands wandering down my sides, then to my abs. He was studying me the whole time, like he was memorizing every dip and curve of my body.

"Cut back on smoking recently," I answered and Wren paused, his hands just under my pecs as he looked up at me curiously and I smiled, "I kinda like the taste of your cum more than a cigarette." I watched with delighted satisfaction as his cheeks turned rosy and he immediately pulled his hands away from me, like I'd made him uncomfortable, but I liked that.

I liked his shyness when I whipped out the dirty talk, and I liked that little gleam in his eyes when I told him his cum was better than my nicotine fix. His mind sure was a trainwreck, but when it came to those big brown eyes, it was pretty easy to read him.

"You talk too much," Wren managed at last, giving me a little push toward the bed and I grinned at that, "Just. Just sit down and let's do what I came here for."

"I can't be the only one looking all cute and cuddly," I said, plopping on the bed and patting the rest of the leather gear. Wren blushed, staring at the gear on the bed, then looking at me. I lifted my head, meeting his eyes and apparently showing off the collar gave him a little more confidence.

He turned back to the gear, nervously twiddled his fingers a little, patted his pocket like there was a lucky charm in there, then eventually came to the edge of the bed. He picked up the leather harness, hanging it between his fingers and giving it a grimace, like he was not looking forward to it.

"Listen," I said, making Wren blink and look at me as I leaned back on my hands to give him a flirty smile, "If I can wear a collar with pride, at my size, then I think you can manage a little strap here and there." Wren blushed.

"You expect me to just wear this and nothing else."

"I mean, I can do the same thing with the collar," I pointed out. Wren stared at me, then at the gear. He seemed nervous. The way he kept brushing his fingers over the material told me this might actually be his thing, but being into leather and participating in leather were two different things. Judging from how he presented himself at his last appointments, the idea of having fun with something that was just part of who he was... No.

If anything, it was almost like Wren was a little ashamed, which was curious to me. I couldn't imagine anyone in his family judging him for his leather fetish.

So why was he so hesitant?

"You too," Wren said at last, making me look at him now as he held the harness to his chest, "I'll change in the bathroom." I blinked, then cocked my head at him.

"Or you could change right there, give me a little strip tease," I suggested. Wren glared.

"I'm about to put on pink leather, asshole, you're pushing your luck."

"Aw, but this is all for you, though?" Wren ignored me as he disappeared into the bathroom across the room and slammed the door shut. I smirked, watching him lock the door, as if that would keep me out. Of course, I was going to give him his privacy anyway.

I heard the dog tag on my collar jingle and I paused. The sound did things to my ears, that high sound, knowing it was a tag on a collar around my neck. I could feel Darling crawling under my skin, feeling him stretching and waking from slumber with hungry desire. I cleared my throat, reaching up to rub at the middle of my chest in hopes of sending him back down.

It had been a minute since I'd struggled to control Darling. For the most part, since Milo's passing, he'd been mostly angry and hurt. Dealing with him had just become a chore and while the casual sex was nice for the biological itch, Darling didn't like it. He didn't want to have meaningless sex.

The Beast had been spoiled rotten by Milo back in the day.

Now he wanted more than sex. He wanted hugs, kisses, cuddles, pillow talk. All the wonderful things that Milo had brought to us in our relationship, and now that it was gone and there was nothing, but sex here and there when I couldn't stand it anymore. I'd feel the heat of Darling's rage a bit during intercourse, but nothing major.

The thought of Wren walking out in leather gear that matched the collar around my neck was somehow making Darling more active. He was creeping and crawling and it was almost like he specifically wanted to come out and greet Wren, which was fucking insane.

The moment Darling reared his head, Wren would know who I was and the mission would be compromised. I'd also just started to warm up to everyone in the building, despite the drama, so I wasn't keen on watching Darling rip everyone to shreds so he could hoard Wren like a pot of gold.

I heard a thump in the bathroom and frowned, glancing up and staring at the door.

"Need help?" I called out. I waited for a response and didn't get anything. I pushed up off the bed, the collar jingling as I rose to my feet and went to the bathroom door. I pressed my ear against it and listened, but I couldn't hear anything.

However, the scent that was starting to filter out of the bathroom was... amazing.

Never thought I'd say that about a bathroom.

Wren was still in heat, or at least, finishing the end of it. The sweet smell of his pheromones wafted into the room and seemed to almost curl around me instead of moving onto the rest of the room. I waited a second, lifting my hand with the intention to knock, except the door opened.

And for once, I was at a loss for words.

Pink is so his color.

The pink leather was an absolute beauty against his skin and I could actually see his freckles a lot easier this way too. The straps went over his arms, just under his chest, which connected to a couple straps around his waist, one just above his hips, and a few that went around his ass and lifted those cheeks up so well, it'd really just take a little peek to get inside him. He nude aside from that, giving me a beautifully uncensored view of a semi-hard, rapidly hardening, cock, long slender legs, a narrow waist.

And it all matched his blush so well.

"I don't think I have it on right," Wren stated, not looking up at me, his eyes searching the gear on him and he cleared his throat nervously, reaching for all the straps, "I think this is supposed to..." Wren's voice trailed as he slowly looked up at me.

Our eyes met.

Dark and molten, eyelids heavy with hunger as those eyes traveled up to mine. I felt my mouth go dry, felt heat stirring in my veins as Darling seemed to start shifting impatiently. I cleared my throat, taking a step forward to adjust a couple of the looser straps on the gear, and Wren gasped as I yanked tight on the straps that cupped his butt. He stumbled against me and I felt a low growl start in my throat as he gripped my arms. He wasn't pushing me away, though, as he panted against my shoulder.

"You look so good," I murmured against the side of his head and Wren moaned as I ran my fingers along the edges of the straps cupping his ass, "It suits you well." Wren put his hands on my chest, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to push away or not, but he ended up peering up at me in a way that sent my control spiraling.

"You too," he whispered, his breath hot against my face. I parted my lips and Wren went for it, smashing our lips together. I groaned as he started to push me back toward the bed. I wasn't in the mood to stumble around, so I just cupped his ass and hoisted him up off his feet with ease, throwing him over my shoulder.

Instead of fighting me like he did before, he moaned, grabbing at my shirt as I carried him over to the bed and slung him down on his back. I reached up to strip my shirt off over my head, feeling my heart rate pick up and I could feel Darling creeping to the surface. I brushed him off as I stood over Wren, who stared up at me breathlessly, his knees slowly, but surely coming open.

He seemed in awe, amazed that we were doing this, going this far, and a part of me really just wanted to throw his legs open and go to town. I wanted to wreck him until he was nothing but a whimpering puddle, begging for more. I remembered the way his ankles felt crossing at my back, yanking me closer, like he was also ready to get plowed.

I had the chance, and that was part of the job.

Mother said get close, observe, report. Most likely with the intention to kidnap.

And for some reason, that made me go still.

That's right. Wren is just another victim of mother. She wants him for something. Needs him for something.

Having sex with Wren now, going that far and completing what mother truly wanted...

Sex without consent is rape, Jasper. My brain told me, no, because Wren was consenting to everything we were doing and he was here for the specific reason of having sex. Yet there was something in me that was hesitant to go forward.

It sure as fuck wasn't Darling, because my Beast was salivating for it. My whole body was screaming at me to fuck Wren, grab him and haul him across the bed, yank him into my arms and hold onto him for dear life. I wanted to smell him, kiss him, hear his soft little moans of pleasure, his hands wandering my back and shoulders.

But something was still holding me back.

"Hex, what's wrong?" Wren murmured, making me blink and snap back to reality to see him sitting up, frowning up at me in concern. He was reaching for my hand and I quickly avoided the touch.

Bad move.

The moment I stepped back, the moment was ruined.

Everything was ruined.

Wren went still and while his facial expression was pretty calm, his eyes were hurt.

"This is stupid," Wren said immediately, clearing his throat and scooting to the edge of the bed so he could get up, "I'm going home." I tensed, watching him make his way to the bathroom and before I knew what I was doing, I was grabbing him by the hand and he protested when I pulled him back.

"Hex—"

"My husband died," I blurted and Wren froze. I let go of him now and he just stood there, staring at the floor for the longest time before he blinked and slowly looked up.

"I thought you didn't remember anything from your past life," he said. I swallowed thickly.

"I wish that was one of the things I'd forgotten," I said quietly. Wren didn't say anything for a moment, just stood there, staring at the floor. He finally sighed.

"Just. Give me a second to change—"

"No, this is your appointment," I said, shaking my head, "No, that was stupid. Sorry, I think I'm running on no sleep and the mouth diarrhea is unbelievable—"

"Sit," Wren ordered and without thinking about it, I was plopping on the edge of the bed, staring at him, "Just stay there and give me one second to change."

"Okay, but—"

"Are you gonna make me say corner?" Wren asked. I didn't say anything that time. Instinct had me falling silent and Wren seemed briefly confused, then just nodded and hurried into the bathroom. I watched him go, feeling the heat of anger starting to rise, mostly from a combination of my stupidity and Darling's frustration.

I could hear Kali scolding me now.

Jasper, telling your partner that your husband is dead is the biggest boner killer in the world. You even killed Wren's boner and he's Lust incarnate.

Except, the question was, why the fuck did I say that? Wren didn't need to know that. He was, at the end of the day, an absolute stranger. I didn't even talk to Kali or mother about Milo, because Milo was... mine.

Nobody knew Milo like I had.

Nobody knew that Milo was my only tether to sanity, to normalcy.

The worst part was having spent my entire life cultivating that relationship, making it into the perfect marriage, for both of us. Or so I had hoped, but it didn't change that Milo was the one who left.

Maybe not of his own free will, but he chose to leave.

He chose to leave me.

The bathroom door opened and much to my disappointment, Wren had, indeed, changed clothes and he was walking over to sit beside me on the bed. Neither of us spoke right away, just stared at the floor.

"I understand if you want to switch servers," I muttered at last, reaching up to rake a hand through my hair, "I don't know where the fuck that shit came from, totally unprofessional—"

"What was your husband's name?" Wren asked at last. I looked at him, then down at the floor, trying to figure out a way to avoid answering that. Wren didn't need to know about Milo, nobody did. On top of that, the more I talked about it aloud, the more I said Milo's name, the more the reality would begin to set in.

The reality that he was gone forever.

The reality that I was alone in a world that felt like it was falling apart around me.

It felt like a slippery slope to a dark place I hadn't been to in a while. A part of me didn't care, just wanted to take that dive into the abyss and never come back. It would be so much easier, so much quicker, so much less painful, to just end everything.

Except the moment I was gone, there would be no one to stand between the artificials and mother. Worse, mother would continue and probably just get worse and worse. She didn't care who she took out on her way to damnation, as long as it was everyone who had ever wronged her in some way, shape, or form.

So at the end of the day, I had to stay here.

Alive, but damned.

"Don't remember," I said at last, making Wren frown, "He's just dead." Wren looked at the floor for a while and I was trying to figure out an excuse to end the appointment, except it wasn't my appointment to end and Wren still hadn't been fed.

"Listen," I said, getting up and Wren frowned at me, "I can give you a blowjob, and I know that's not much, but—"

"I'm not going to make you have sex with me," Wren deadpanned, making me turn to frown at him, "Luckily I'm still running on the high from our last appointment, so I'm not pissy about missing an appointment, but if you need to talk—"

"Okay," I said, making Wren frown as I went to grab my jacket, "Then I'll head out first."

"Uh, well, wait—"

"Just gotta get home—"

"Okay, but the col—" I barely heard him as I shut the door behind me. I couldn't teleport out of the building, so I made a quick awkward speed walk to the back door of the building. The security guard looked up in confusion, and I could feel that confusion rise as I just walked right past him and out the door.

The second I got some fresh air into my lungs, I sighed in relief.

Somehow that building had gotten suffocating. That room had gotten suffocating.

Wren's worried brown eyes flashed in my head and I reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration.

Nope. No, just take a deep breath. You're fine. Everything is fine. Go back in there and do your job.

Except Darling completely protested the idea of referring to Wren as a job and I could feel it in the way he tickled and pinched my skin. I groaned, rubbing at my face before snatching out my cigarettes and making my way back toward my apartment.

My phone rang and I growled, snatching it out.

"What?" I demanded, tapping out a cigarette.

"What," came Diego's indignant tone, "Hex, what just happened? Wren said you got panicky during the appointment." I wanted to puke. Gee, thanks, Wren, you little snitch. I made a mental note to give him the spanking next time. I lit my cigarette and took a deep inhale before responding.

"Yup, nope, diarrhea, heading home."

"What? Uh, I mean, if you're not feeling well, fine, but, Hex, if you need something, if you need to talk to someone or—"

"Hey," I said, cutting him off and I was met with stunned silence, "I'm here to do my job, then leave. I fucked up today. I apologize. However, let's get one thing straight. I get you have a family environment in that workplace, but I am not part of that. I am not part of anyone's family or friend group or any of that useless bullshit, alright? I fucked up, I'll take a chill pill today, and come back in tomorrow." The silence extended, and I didn't know what else to say. I was a little surprised Diego didn't just hang up or fire me on the spot.

"Sorry," I snapped at last.

"No," Diego said, and I was surprised by how soft his voice was, "No, don't apologize, Hex. I'm sorry you're having a hard day. I know restarting can be difficult, and it can be scary when we have to face the things that scare us."

"I'm not scared of sex," I assured with a snort.

"I wasn't talking about sex," Diego replied quietly, and I didn't answer, so Diego continued, "Anyway, it's alright, Hex, take the day to recover, and I would very much like to see you come back tomorrow, if you're feeling up to it. Can you keep me posted?" I was quiet for a minute, because I wasn't sure what to do with his kindness and understanding. I hadn't expected it.

I wouldn't say Diego hated me, at least, not like Marsha and Beni, but I obviously wasn't his favorite employee. At the same time, he was actually reaching out to me. I hadn't done anything that warranted Wren's concern, but he'd gone out of his way to reach out to someone he trusted.

I sighed.

"Yeah," I said at last, "Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Alright then. Sounds good," Diego answered, "Take it easy, Hex. Drink plenty of water, get something other than nicotine in your system." I gave a half-laugh.

"Yeah. I'll do that... Thanks, Diego."

"No problem, Hex, and for the record," Diego added, "Sometimes family can come from the strangest places." I tried not to laugh at that as I bade him farewell and hung up, pausing to flick the ash off my cigarette, gripping my phone against my forehead.

Sometimes family can come from the strangest places.

Fuckin' tell me about it.

All mine kept coming out of test tubes.

As if on cue, my phone buzzed and I frowned, lowering it so I could read the screen, and I felt my stomach curdle as I stared at messages coming from Kali, one after another.

They're coming to take Polly in two days.

They're taking her to Valhalla.

Jasper, I think they're going to kill Polly.

Jasper, please, help.