I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto does

Chapter Summary: Lord Differ is pretty sketchy, but that's not what Itachi's worried about. Why's the Hokage laughing maniacally?

...

"D-DANZO?"

The man stared at Itachi for a moment. Then, suddenly, he was curled up in the corner of the room, depression lines hanging over his head.

"Everyone thinks I'm Danzo," he muttered. "I don't look THAT much like him!"

Sasuke sighed and glared at Itachi. "Now look at what you did! He's moping again! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get him out of it?"

"What?"

"Ugh, Big Brother! This is all yo-" before Sasuke could finish, the doors behind them opened again, letting two people in. Itachi knew that they were Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyuuga.

"Lord Differ?" Naruto stared at the depressed man, then sighed. He turned to Hinata, a hopeful look in his eyes. "Could you fix him?"

"N-No, I c-can't," Hinata said, stuttering. Though she didn't exactly look nervous, but instead look bored.

"Wait, why are you stuttering?" Hinata turned to Itachi, then looked at Sasuke questioningly.

"Just answer his question."

"F-Fine," Hinata said. "I d-don't know why, b-but I just d-do. I *-******* hate i-it!"

"Language," Naruto said.

"S-Sorry Agent N-Nine," Hinata said, rolling her eyes. Itachi raised an eyebrow at the name. Agent Nine? Could it be referring to the Kyuubi, or was it something else?

"Come on, let's try to cheer Lord Differ up," Naruto said, dragging Hinata.

Sasuke turned to Itachi once again, and this time he was moping. "Naruto's a UDC-A. The only reason he is one is because he has lots of free time that he dedicates to the Underground!"

"And Hinata Hyuuga?"

"She's a UDC-B, same as me. She's also one of the two allies I have in the Hyuuga Clan."

"Your ally is the heir of the Hyuuga Clan!"

"I'm the heir of the Uchiha Clan," Sasuke said.

"N-No, you're not! I was born before you, remember? That means that I am the Uchiha Clan heir right now!"

"I heard you debating with yourself about whether you should give your position to me or not. Honestly, before that, I never thought about it. But, since you seemed to favor giving me the role, I decided to embrace it."

"...you were eavesdropping on me?" A chill went down Sasuke's back, and some voice in his head, that sounded exactly like Itachi, whispered, "You have exactly ten seconds to fix this before you die."

"W-Well, uh, the...walls in the Compound are thin...and, uh..."

Sasuke was saved by Naruto, who walked over to them. "Hey Itachi! Thanks for helping me paint the Academy, I would have been a lot harder if you hadn-woah, Agent Fire, what happened to you?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," Sasuke said, glancing nervously at Itachi. But, Itachi seemed to have already forgotten about it. Instead, he was chatting with Naruto.

"A-Are you sure you'r-re okay, Lord-d Differ?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah *sniff* I'm fine." Hinata gave him a warm smile. She walked back and stood next to Itachi. She motioned for him to lean down next to her face.

When he did, she whispered, "M-Make Lord Di-iffer cry a-again and I-I will ******* kill y-you." She never once stopped smiling or staring warmly at Lord Differ. And somehow, her stuttering made it scarier.

"How did you know it was me?"

"L-Let's call it...women's int-tuition."

"R-Right..."

"Itachi Uchiha," Lord Differ said suddenly. Itachi stood and met his gaze. "I can assure you that I am not Danzo."

"I can see that," Itachi muttered.

"That aside, I brought you here for a reason."

"Is that reason to explain why you are selling sensitive information on shinobi?"

"What? No! ...and by 'no', I mean that that's not what we do, not that I won't be telling you...just listen to me. Yes, we do have information on shinobi, but it's not exactly sensitive information." Lord Differ suddenly grinned. "You know that we're the Underground, but do you know what the Underground is?"

"An illegal organization that is running without the Hokage's permission."

"Can an illegal organization run with Hokage's permission?" Naruto asked out loud.

Itachi cleared his throat, "Let's, uh, move on..."

"We are not...I mean technically we are," Lord Differ said, "an illegal organization running without the Hokage's permission, but what I meant is that the Underground is the head of the Blackmail Market."

"You mean the Black Market?"

"No, I mean the Blackmail Market. The Underground collects any information that could be used as blackmail. Then, it gets sorted into two places. One, is the file of who it happened to, and second is rank."

"You do realize that is still really bad right?"

"The security here is airtight. The only reason you've gotten through so easily is because you had Agent Fire, a UDC-B Agent, with you."

"Easy? We had to go through at least ten security checks to get here. They found and removed a fifth of the weapons I keep on myself. That's a ******* lot!"

"Exactly, easy."

"Seriously?"

"Anyway, the Underground also runs the Rumor Mill."

"...the Rumor Mill is an organization?"

"Yes, run by us. Now, before you worry, none of the information we have can be used against shinobi, anyway. Unless, of course, they're willing to give up village secrets to ensure that no one will know how much they weigh or something. Which is unlikely. Besides, only citizens and shinobi of Konoha are able to buy our information. The Rumor Mill, however, is open to anyone who is authorized to be in Konoha."

"...so you're telling me that you've got dirt on pretty much everyone in the Village?"

"Yes. You can find out anything from how many guys Hana Inuzuka has kissed so far, to how much of the money provided to the Uchiha Police Force is used on coffee machines. Although, I'm sure you already know that." He did. It was sad, really. "There is still an ongoing effort to get a picture of Kakashi Hatake's full face, however I doubt we will be seeing that anytime soon...

"So, Itachi Uchiha, will you be reporting us to the Hokage?"

Itachi snorted. "Of course I am. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the Hokage won't care about you now. He'll probably acknowledge your existence, and you'll be a legal organization running with the Hokage's permission."

"Still, do not report us."

"I will report you."

"Don't."

"I will."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Big Brother..." Sasuke started before he was interrupted.

"I've got it!" Lord Differ exclaimed. "Itachi, do tell the Hokage, but I'll be coming with you."

"M'kay!"

"Lord Differ..." Sasuke said with a sweat drop.

...

"Lord Hokage?"

"Ah, Itachi, my boy, why are you here?" The Hokage was smiling, but beads of sweat trickled down his neck. He's going to go crazy about how little information I gave him, isn't he?

"Well, I finished the mission-"

"Really? That was fast. I thought it was at least going to take you a week."

"...Anyway, I've brought the leader of the organization."

Lord Differ walked into the room, and the Hokage choked. He stood, glaring at him. "Danzo, I should have known it was you! But for you to go so low as to sell information on Shinobi? You really are-" Hiruzen stopped.

"Danzo" was now in the corner of the office, moping.

"Even the Third Hokage thought I was Danzo," he muttered. "Why does everyone think I look like him? I don't!"

Itachi sighed. "Lord Hokage, I can definitely say that he is NOT Danzo. He just looks like him."

"R-Right, sorry..."

"His name's Lord Differ. Though to you, it's probably just Differ."

"Yes, well, my apologies, Mr. Differ."

"A-Accepted." And suddenly, Lord Differ was on his feet again, chipper as ever.

"Itachi, my boy, please leave the room while I have a...discussion with him."

Itachi shivered and decided that, yes, his best chance of keeping his sanity was leaving the room.

...

"You're done already?" Itachi asked as Lord Differ exited the room. "And you're still in one piece. I'm impressed."

"Yes, I'm done. You can go in now."

"Right." Itachi walked into the room, then stopped.

The Hokage was laughing maniacally. Another shiver ran down his spine. What kind of agreement had they come to?

...

Omake:

Lord Differ walked down the hallways of the Hokage Tower, trying to remember the way out. He finally came to the lobby at the bottom, then stopped.

Danzo was standing there right across from him. They stared at each other. Danzo stepped left. So did Lord Differ.

Danzo stepped right. So did Lord Differ. They slowly walked forward, circling each other, and suddenly they were on opposite sides of the room. With a weary glance, Danzo went up to the Hokage's office and Lord Differ left the tower.

Everyone else in the lobby sweat dropped. What on earth...?