Rocky helped me with shopping. I want to take him along with me but it's not possible. He is advising to take the tour as an opportunity to become close to Dheeraj. I don't give much thought about it. He already had the alliance with Shalini. She seemed to be a good girl. Though I love Dheeraj a lot, I don't want to become a bitch for his love.

We have rented a sleeper bus and a driver. The was equipped with everything required. Even the tents too, for camping. Two helpers are accompanying. The tour started from visiting the places nearby Hyderabad, then Belum caves, Yaganti temple, Mahanandi, KondaReddy fort, Rallapadu bird sanctuary, Bhairavakona waterfalls, Srisailam temple and dam, Lepakshi, Talakona waterfalls, Kondaveedu fort, Diviseema, Kondapalli fort, Rock temple, Vizag Rk Beach, Lambasinghi.

It's night by the time we reached Araku. We have been traveling from four days. Everywhere, it's totally fun filled. People have loosened up. No differentiation of higher and lower cadres. Everybody is on first name basis. Younger ones taking responsibility of elders and elders are taking care of young people. In these four days, Dheeraj also is behaving friendly with me. Became too close that I'm starting to doubt his actions.

"Be careful Moha. Eat this Moha. Take rest Moha. That Moha. This Moha......."

Because of him, others are also calling me Moha. Though I pretend I'm annoyed, I liked it secretly.

All the resorts in Araku are booked and we are too tired to sleep in bus. We definitely have to halt somewhere.

"If you don't mind, my grandparents' home is nearby. It's actually a big cabin house. We can go there and take rest for tonight. What you say? "

They all agreed without a second thought though some said it might be inconvenient to disturb my laughed simply.

I called Pramila auntie to tell the maids to clean every room and prepare dinner for all of us.

I showed directions to the house.

We reached within 30 minutes. Pramila auntie welcomed us and took my bag. I showed them the rooms. My house is a big two storeyed house with 9 rooms excluding the kitchen and hall. Two people shared a room. I went to my room after showing the home to everybody. After I got freshen up, I went to my grandparents' room. It was locked. I unlocked and cleaned it. Then lightened diya.

Pramila auntie called all of us for dinner. The dining table was not sufficient for all of us. Auntie dragged the teapoy and chairs. Auntie served the dinner. I tried to help but she denied.

Akhila said, "Your house is very nice Moha. We didn't know you are this rich."

I thanked her.

Then Chandra uncle asked,

"Where are your grandparents?"

I showed them the frames of my grandparents' photos with garlands.

"Ohh, I'm sorry. Where are your parents?"

This time I pointed them towards my parent's photos which are hanging on the other side.

"I am really sorry dear. I shouldn't have asked." he pitied me. I smiled lightly.

Dheeraj is looking at me questioningly. I averted my gaze from him.

Salima pried, "Do you have any hot siblings we should be aware of."

I laughed at her mischievous words.

"No. I'm single child."

I know this confession made everyone silent. I don't like it.

"Don't plan on murdering me though. I have a very hot brother to fight for me. His name is Ramakrishna. Shortly Rocky. I used to be a paying guest in their home while I'm working in Bangalore. Now, he is working in Hyderabad."

"Ohh, that single person may not handle my muscle power. I will surely kidnap you and my demand will be this house." joked Sai Anna (brother).

"Oops. Your idea may not work out. Sorry to tell you this, after me, this house and my other properties will become a trust. To help the orphans."

"Thank you for informing beforehand. Otherwise, my efforts will be vain." though he didn't mean it I know his intentions are only playful.

"Jokes apart, you are truly amazing. We're so proud of you."

"Oh! Stop flattering. I have to eat before your praises fill my stomach."

I asked our watchman to make a campfire. By the time we completed dinner and phone calls. It's ready. I called all of them to come outside. My peers squealed in happiness. Some danced, some sang. We shared so many things. It's totally joyful time. All this time Dheeraj is not talking to me, may be because of my lie.

While others are enjoying, I looked at my neighbor's house. I remembered my childhood friend. He might be married by this time. Will he remember me? I smiled at my thoughts.

Akhila cleared her throat. I looked at her. Everyone is watching me as I have horns on my head.

"What? "

"You are talking to yourself and smiling. Not even answering to our calls."

"Ohh that. It's nothing. It's just, I remembered something about my childhood."

"That not a 'just' thing then. Tell us about it." Akhila probed.

"Ohh stop it yaar. I'm feeling shy."

"Still, we want to know."

I looked at Dheeraj. Like others, he is also showing enthusiasm.

I narrated them the story vaguely leaving the Still, embarrassing things like our names and such things.

"Ohho! Such a nice story. Then what happened? Are you still in contact with him? " Neetha, a colleague asked.

"Unfortunately, I lost his contact. You should have seen on that day; all my classmates are afraid to come near me. I cried that loudly. "

"What you will do if comes for you? "

"Fate doesn't work that way for me." I sighed.

"But you liked him though."

"It's because he is the only guy that didn't broke my heart." I replied with a tight-lipped smile, looking at Dheeraj.

It's chilling outside so everyone left inside to take rest. I stayed since I didn't feel like sleeping. I kept songs in my mobile as company. All are old songs.

While listening to O papa lali song from Geethanjali movie, a sad song, Dheeraj came and sat beside me.

"It's chilling here. Why do you come? " I asked.

He stayed silent.

"Are you angry with me?"

"Why should I be angry? We are not that close of friends to get angry when you lie."

"I'm sorry. I'm not in a good mood on that so...."

"That's not going to justify your lying to me."

"Then what should I do? To say that I am alone, please be with me. That will be pathetic."

I'm at the verge of tears. And the song is adding more emotion.

"I didn't mean that. You are free to say whatever in your mind. You are so much close to me than you think of. Don't cry."

He came closer, giving me a side hug. His warmthless is comforting me. His smell is captivating me. The song changed. Now it's Om Nemaha song from Geethanjali. It suits the mood. I wrapped my hands around him. He engulfed me. My tears dried up. He is rubbing his hand to soothe me. But it is creating havoc in my mind. My heart started beating erratically. All my feelings are blooming. I looked into his eyes finding them staring at mine. His breathe is fanning on my face irregularly. We are that close. He touched his forehead with mine. I think I know where this is going to lead. I released myself from him in a snap. I want it to happen with his love but not in pity. He looked at me with bewilderment.

"I just remembered; I need to call." I told him and ran into my room taking the phone.

The three days after that incident were awkward for each other. I mostly avoided him and he tried to tell me. I don't want to listen to him saying that it's a mistake or in the heat of the moment.

Even after the return of the tour, we still behaved like that. Stealing glances, one-word replies.

A week before the anniversary, Akhila shared a rumor with me that Dheeraj is going to introduce his fiancé on the day of anniversary. I asked the program organizer about the events of that day. It's confirmed that. Slowly tears started flowing. It's expected. Still paining.

I'm ... trying to pretend,

I don't care.

Trying to accept this is fair.

Love isn't easy.

Life is hard

Is this the end or this the start?

Of something new!

I'm. Trying to believe,

We are through.

So, lift the shadow of the doubt

You let me in, now let me out

I'm... Trying to pretend,

I won't miss you

Maybe it's too late

Or too soon

To wonder with

May be this is... not a goodbye

October 3rd,

Royal Regimes 3rdanniversary

I tried gothic fashion today. It's old but I made few changes. I'm going in complete black, black dress, black pumps, black clutch, winged eyeline. As if I'm a devil, protesting the event.

The event started. I sat on a corner table. Akhila and Salima came. They both started the banter about the people coming to the party. I'm too gloomy to concentrate on them. I was poked by someone. I turned to find Dheeraj, in a suit, wearing a brooch. Wait that's my father's brooch. Behind him are his parents. I know them. He took a ring box and opened it. Kneeling in front of me with the crown shaped ring, he asked,

"Will you marry me, Kiddo?"

To be continued...