Chapter Thirty-Six
Anna found the plane journey exhilarating. Abe and the boys recounted stories of their experiences in planes, Abe pointing out that this would be his first one that he didn't have to jump out of.
Elli's birthday had been a lovely celebration, the boys showering her with gifts as always. Aaron had promised he'd go in and check on Ma and Elli regularly whilst they were away. Anna had certainly struggled saying goodbye to Elli. This wasn't like her summer trip with Ma. She was going to be thousands of miles away, and both of them could certainly feel it. She had been teary all the way to the airport. Once the plane flew into the air, Anna was finally distracted enough to stop thinking of Elli, or how apprehensive she was about being back in Germany.
It had been nearly two years, and she wasn't entirely certain of how to feel. She was hopeful of so many things. She was hopeful that she might be able to see Maria. She had still not heard from her friend, and mail was so slow in reaching her that she had had very few updates from Helga over the years. There had certainly been no time to write to her since Hatcher came to deliver the news. Maybe she would finally get a chance to explain everything to Freda, and to see that Maria was safe.
But there was still so much hurt attached to her homeland.
Even as they stepped off the plane, the air felt different. Perhaps she had hope she would feel a sense of welcome now that time had passed. But it felt no different to when the train had pulled away all those years ago. This wasn't her home anymore. She clutched at Abe, who already sensed how sad she was. He did his best to distract her, the three of them practicing his improved German with him the entire car journey.
Nuremburg was so similar to the towns that surrounded the camp. This was nothing like Berlin. Anna wished she could take Abe there. She wanted to show him where she had grown up, show him the Germany she cherished.
As they reached the hotel, she couldn't help but glance around her. She felt so desperately uneasy. Ernst was nearby; she knew he couldn't get to her, but to be so close to him again was horrible. Abe was right, this was going to upset her. Abe wound his arms around her as the other two watched the bags being unloaded. He could clearly feel how tense his wife was, his nose buried in her hair.
"Y'all hungry?" he asked.
"Aren't I always?" sighed Anna.
Abe chuckled. "Why don't we grab you somethin' to eat whilst the boys check us in?"
"I'd like that," she smiled.
He called to the boys who bid them on their way. Then he took Anna's hand and lead her across the street towards the cafes they had passed moments ago. "What y'all in the mood for?" he asked, noticing how people were glancing at him. He wasn't used to being in Germany as an average citizen; his size and accent certainly attracted many stares.
"Something sweet," she confirmed, pointing at the bakery with seats outside.
"Sounds great to me," he returned, his arms around her waist to support her as they walked.
Anna did like slipping back into her native tongue to converse with people. They didn't stare at her with wide, surprised eyes like they did in America. This was a familiarity that she hadn't realised she had missed.
They were soon sat with coffees and poppyseed cake, chatting happily. Abe certainly knew how to cheer her up. It was like their early days together in Berchtesgaden. It might not be like her old home in Berlin but reminiscing about her early life with Abe was wonderful. He was her new home... her forever home. Eventually Sam and Hollywood came to join them, all of them recalling their time in Berchtesgaden. It was such a welcome distraction.
Watching as other people came in and out of the bakery, Anna listened to the passing people, enjoying the sound of German again.
A very different accent suddenly caught her ear.
A couple had walked into the bakery, speaking in English. The gentleman certainly hailed from there, but the lady he was speaking to still had a very strong German accent. Anna's gaze followed the couple, the boys not noticing that she was distracted. She looked at the couple's entwined hands, smiling to herself. It was nice to know that it was not just she and Abe that had found love in such a terrible time. Especially as this couple was older. It really warmed her heart.
The couple stood entwined and awaited their order. Anna was eager to get a better look at the two of them.
Then her brow furrowed as the woman turned around. She looked so familiar. Anna couldn't fully place it, but she knew she recognised her. She kept staring; the woman completely unaware how closely she was being watched.
But Abe had now. "Baby?"
Anna didn't avert her gaze. "I know that woman," she whispered, her mind searching for the answer.
Abe looked at her too, following Anna's gaze. "No idea," he said, the boys now looking too, all of them shrugging. "She might be here for the trial too... did she work at the camp?"
"No," confirmed Anna.
"Then how else would you know her?"
"I don't know... but I'm telling you... I know her!"
"Maybe she just has one of those faces?" suggested Abe, noticing that the couple were about to walk out. "Pay it no mind, baby."
Anna looked away, knowing they were about to pass her. Then, as if she couldn't help herself, she turned and reached her hand out to the passing woman and lightly caught her arm.
Indignantly, the woman looked down, then her face fell. "A-Anna," she managed.
Anna didn't know her voice at all. She was so confused. The woman's husband looked shocked too, as though he knew Anna also. But Anna had no idea who this man was.
"I'm sorry," said Anna, getting to her feet with Abe's help, who made sure to stand right behind her for support. The woman couldn't help but stare at Anna's stomach, her dismay apparent. "I feel like I know you... and you clearly know me-"
"Yes," confirmed the woman. "But we have never met."
"Then who are you?" asked Abe, the woman glancing up at him. Her eyes moved over him, her brow furrowed, and her mouth turned down at the corners. She seemed entirely apprehensive of the American.
Then it clicked in Anna's mind. "Klara," she breathed, her heart pounding.
Klara said nothing. It was complete confirmation.
"Baby, who is she?" asked Abe, seeing the disbelief on his wife's face.
"This is Klara... Hans' sister," she managed, her throat suddenly so dry.
All three men looked at this woman in disbelief, Abe's grip on Anna tightening.
"What are you doing here?" asked Anna.
"We're here for the trial," replied her husband, Klara glancing at him. He seemed to be trying to pull her away, Klara reluctant. "Perhaps we can all catch up another time-"
"Daniel, this is madness," said Klara softly. "This was going to happen sooner or later."
"What was?" asked Abe, Daniel ignoring him.
"Daniel," whispered Anna. "Hans said he had an English friend called Daniel... you were a Colonel in the army."
Daniel glanced at her. He seemed guilty. "Yes," he replied quickly. "Please, Klara, let's go."
"She needs to know!" protested Klara.
"Know what?" reiterated Abe.
"Yes, well we weren't expecting her... current state-" mumbled Daniel.
"Please just tell me, what is going on!" snapped Anna, everyone looking at her.
Klara took a deep breath, then stepped forward, taking Anna's hands in hers. "My brother is alive," she said, the words barely escaping her mouth.
Anna stared at her in disbelief. Everything had fallen completely silent for her. Her mind was foggy, and she tried not to waver on her feet.
"Say it again?" asked Anna, her breathing ragged.
Klara could see the pain she was in, her hands squeezing Anna's tighter. "Hans is alive," she repeated, her voice clearer. "And he's here, with us."
Anna just stared at Klara, her eyes filling with tears.
"That son of a bitch is alive?" asked Abe.
Daniel looked up at him. "Steady on-"
Abe's hands rested on Anna's shoulders. "Baby, are you all right?"
Anna couldn't answer him, just reaching her hand up to grip his.
"Sit down," he said gently, helping her into the chair.
Anna didn't let go of Klara's hand
Abe now looked up at Klara. "I reckon it's best y'all go," he said in a low voice.
Klara gave a nod and turned to leave, but Anna squeezed tighter.
"Stay," she managed. "We need to talk."
"Anna, not right now," said Abe, but she finally looked at him.
"I have to know," she said, then looked at Klara. "Please."
"Of course I will," said Klara gently, sitting beside her.
"Klara," urged Daniel.
"Go back to the hotel, Daniel," bid Klara, then looked at the three Americans. "Perhaps it is better that all of you give us a moment?"
"I ain't fuckin' leavin'!" snapped Abe.
Sam caught him. "Why don't we wait across the road, in the hotel lobby?" he suggested. "You can see them from in there?"
Abe wasn't convinced. "Anna baby?" he asked, crouching down in front of her to meet her eyeline. "Do you want me to stay?"
"I think I want to talk to Klara alone," she whispered.
Clearly frustrated, Abe consented to kiss her forehead, then get to his feet. "Go gentle with her," he asked Klara, who nodded in agreement. All of the men left them, the two women still gripping each other as they sat in silence.
Anna's eyes scanned Klara. This was so odd. She had only ever seen photographs of her, and always from when she was much younger. She had spent so long wanting to meet this woman... to get to know her. Now, she was almost lost for words.
"This isn't how I thought we would meet," she mumbled, Klara letting out a huffy laugh.
"No, certainly not," she agreed, both of them descending into another silence. Klara looked over at Abe's retreating figure. "He's so different to my brother." Then she noted Anna's frustrated glare. "He still seems to have that same passion for you that Hans' does though." There was another silence. "I'm so sorry this is how you are finding out," said Klara after a while. "I begged him to reach out to you... but he wasn't ready."
"I just don't understand," admitted Anna. "Ernst told me he had died on the front... shot in the neck in the Ardennes offensive."
Klara shook her head. "He was shot," she confirmed. "He nearly didn't make it. He had a badly broken leg too. He was released from service, so I brought him back to Essen to be with me."
"Then Karl-"
"He didn't make it, Anna," mumbled Klara.
There was another silence.
"Then why didn't he come for me?" managed Anna, her tears spilling down her cheeks. "I waited for him... when I thought him dead I didn't know what to do..."
She felt transported back to that time... the time she had felt most alone. All she could remember was how much she missed him... how she had desperately wanted him to hold her one last time. He could now. Why wasn't she happy? She just felt so bitterly betrayed.
"Anna, he did come for you," said Klara gently, Anna's eyes wide with confusion. "Altmann telephoned him to say that you never left with Ernst. That you were back in the camp. He left that day to come and find you. He could barely stand, and yet he walked all the way to that cursed place."
"He did?" Anna whispered.
Klara nodded. "He told me he collapsed at several points. It took him weeks to reach it. When he got there, he was told you had left with the Americans. He followed you all the way to Berchtesgaden."
Anna couldn't say anything; she was in utter disbelief.
"When he got there, he was interrogated by American soldiers."
"What Americans?"
"A Major and a Captain. They never told you they had found him. Or any of the other Americans you were close to. They didn't want you to be set back by him."
"But how did they even know who he was?"
"Some woman had recognised him from a photograph you had of him and turned him over to them."
"A woman?"
"Heidi?"
Anna cursed under her breath.
"She was the one that showed Hans you had moved on."
"Showed?"
"She took Hans to see you but wouldn't let him actually talk to you. She wanted him to see that you had moved on. That's when he saw you with your husband."
"He was actually there?" whispered Anna.
Klara nodded.
He had been so close yet hadn't come to her. He had left her believing that he was dead rather than face her. Did she really mean so little to him? Or was it that he believed he meant so little to her.
"Anna, he thought he was doing the right thing," promised Klara.
Anna struggled to her feet. She had heard enough. "All he ever does is lie to me," she breathed. "I can't stand it-"
"Anna, please wait," said Klara, till trying to grasp her hand, but she tugged it free.
"Please just leave me alone," begged Anna, turning now to go back to the hotel, ignoring Klara as she followed her, pressing her to sit back down.
She could see Abe tearing out of the hotel towards them. Clearly, he had been watching the exchange, and the moment Anna had risen, he was trying to get to her.
"Abe," she called out.
Abe dashed to her side and pulled her into his arms. "That's enough now, you hear?" barked Abe.
Klara remained undeterred. "She must speak to him!"
"She ain't gotta do shit!" said Abe, but his gaze was caught by something behind Klara. They all looked back, Abe's grip on Anna tight and protective. Anna now saw why.
Standing beside Daniel, was Hans.
Anna's chest heaved heavily, her teary eyes fixed on him. He looked so different; so much older. She'd never seen him with a beard. His eyes were filled with sadness, calling out to her as they had done so many times before.
Did she want to go to him?
Did she want to slap him?
She couldn't tell.
He was looking only at her, as if no one else existed. "Anna," he said, her name on his lips so beautifully familiar.
How long she had wanted to hear that voice again. Now it was only painful. She looked up at Abe. He was glaring daggers at Hans, his entire body rigid with rage. Abe saw her look at him and his expression instantly softened. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs.
Anna closed her eyes, happy to be in his embrace. This is what she needed.
"I want to go," she mumbled.
Abe nodded as he let out a sigh of relief, shot another glare at Hans, then wrapped his arm around Anna and began leading her away.
"Anna, please wait!" called Hans.
She turned back suddenly, storming towards Hans out of Abe's grasp.
Hans' face lit up. "Thank god-"
"Tell me something," began Anna. "Just one thing."
"Anything!"
"Did you know you would leave?" Anna managed.
Hans' expression fell again. "Did I know?"
"The night before," Anna continued, her words heavy and thick like clay in her throat. "When we had made up. When we slept together, naked, in our bed. You held me all night. Did you know, when you promised to stay, that you were going to leave me?"
Hans tried to reach out, but she snatched her hand back. Abe came to her side, his arm around her. Hans wouldn't look at the intruder.
"Tell me!" demanded Anna.
Hans firsts clenched, his grey eyes filled with regretful tears.
There was her answer.
Anna wavered on the spot, the pain of so many years ago washing over her anew. "How could you?"
"Anna, listen to me-"
Anna could only shake her head, turning into Abe's embrace.
Hans made to take her hand, but Abe shoved him back, Hans only just managing to remain standing.
"Don't you fucking dare," growled Abe before he hurried Anna away.
"Anna, please!" called Hans.
But she didn't listen. She couldn't. She just kept walking away from him, her heart heavy with the hurt of many years long since passed.
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