Chapter Nine

Keller spun around, his face filled with confusion. He looked thinner than before, dark circles under his icy eyes. Dirty and dishevelled, the civilian clothes he was dressed in were ill-fitting and a scraggly blonde beard covered his jaw. He looked nothing like the tyrant she remembered. "Anna?" he spluttered, reaching out towards her slowly.

Anna pulled back out of his reach, her breathing heavy and angry.

"You made it out, then."

"No thanks to you," she retorted, her rage building further.

The Americans all watched her, Abe taking a small step in her direction.

"And the brat..."

"She's fine," spat Anna. "So you failed."

"You assume killing you was my intention," he said, that sly smile returning. "Perhaps I just wanted to mess with you. And I clearly succeeded..." Anna glared at him as he leaned forward to be closer to her. "So then, tell me, am I going to be a father?"

Before anyone could stop her, Anna drew her foot back and kicked him square in the chest. He tumbled back, Anna kicking him again several times before she pounced on him and pinned him down as she struck him again and again and again. Every angry thought she had ever felt and couldn't express came pouring out of her in this moment. Hatred burned through her. She clawed at him, unaffected by him trying to fend her off. She wanted to rip him apart, to hurt him as much as he had hurt her.

Arms grabbed her and tried to prise her off him. "Anna! Stop!" cried Abe, trying to subdue her as he managed to pull her to her feet.

Anna just kept fighting him, her teeth gritted as she tried to get back to Keller.

Abe hushed her. "You're gonna hurt yourself!"

Hollywood also took hold of her, both of them finally managing to calm her. Furious tears stung her cheeks as Abe pulled her into him, trying to soothe her.

"Darlin', just breathe," he said softly. Anna gripped his arms as Tread came over to them. "I said this was gonna be too much."

"We'll try again later," sighed Tread. "Come on Miss, let's get you some water." He took Anna from Abe's grasp, ushering her out of the paddock and towards the farmhouse.

"I guess she recognises that one," said Hollywood. They watched Keller as he sat up and spat bloody saliva onto the ground. "He was a right fucker to get here; nothing but lip."

Abe glared at him, Keller's eyes meeting his. Abe could feel his temper rising; he knew who this man must be.

Keller studied him with interest, his mouth twisting into a horrible smile. He said something in German under his breath.

"Hey!" shouted Hollywood, nudging him with his foot. "Shut your damn mouth."

"What he say?" asked Abe, his voice low and throaty.

"Nothin'," dismissed Hollywood quickly.

"Tell me!" insisted Abe.

Hollywood sighed. "He said 'never thought I'd get to have her on top again'."

Keller was watching for his reaction, grinning as Abe lunged at him.

Hollywood stepped between them. "Not now! For fuck sake Abe. Don't give him the satisfaction of getting' in trouble."

"I don't give a damn!" spat Abe.

"I promise you we'll deal with the son of a bitch later. Right now, you need to go and check on Anna." Abe wanted to wipe the smug smile off his face, but knew Hollywood was right. Reluctantly, he stormed away from him.

He trudged down the long dirt path to the farm, finally reaching the house. Tread had sat Anna down outside and let her lean against the low cobbled wall. He stood by her, talking softly to her, which she seemed to be ignoring. As soon as he saw Abe approach, Tread tipped his hat to her and let her be. He walked to Abe, both of them standing just out of earshot of her.

"Do we know who that is?" Tread murmured.

"My guess is that's the one that left her with all the scars," Abe replied, his voice equally soft.

"You mean the one who-"

"Yeah," Abe cut across, not wanting to hear the word.

Tread sighed deeply. "That's understandable then. When she's ready, we'll make sure he's out of sight, then she can try and identify the others."

"Fine." There was a pause.

Tread stared right at Abe. "I know how you feel about her." Abe's eyes widened, an excuse formig on his lips. "Do what you gotta do. But for God's sake, don't get caught." Abe just nodded, Tread slapping him on the back as he left them to it.

Abe came and sat beside Anna. Her stare was completely blank, her hands shaking and everything about her demeanour sour and angry. He pulled out a cigarette for each of them, Anna accepting it without saying anything. They sat in silence for a while, Abe unsure of what to say. When she leant into his shoulder, he wrapped his arm around her so that her head rested on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head lightly. "Y'all right?" he asked eventually. She nodded, but he wasn't convinced. "You're terrifying when you're angry, y'know that?"

Anna managed a small laugh and sat back up so that she could see him better. He was grinning at her, but she could see the worry in his eyes. "I lost control of myself," she admitted.

"If he is who I think he is, then I don't blame you," he replied. Their eyes stayed locked for a moment, then Anna looked down at her hands. "Is that him?"

"Yes," she said as their eyes met again. "Mathias Keller."

"What did he say to get you so mad?"

Anna sighed. "He asked if I was pregnant with his child." Everything went deathly silent, Anna looking up at Abe's horrified expression. "I am not," she assured him.

Abe let out a sigh of relief. "I shoulda just let you rip his throat out," said Abe slowly. Anna gave a weak smile as he cupped her face tenderly. "He can never hurt you again. Ever."

She frowned a little. "Are you going to stop him, then?" Anna asked, the words sticking in her throat.

"If it comes to that, of course I will!"

Anna sat back from him, her rage filling her again. She knew he was just being caring, but she hated being spoken down to.

"What's wrong?" he asked, watching her scramble to her feet.

"You know," she said, her jaw tight as she threw her cigarette away, "you have no right to get involved in my business!"

"I weren't tryin' to-"

"I do not need you to swoop in and save me! I am perfectly capable!" She shouldn't be directing this at him, but it was as if she couldn't help herself. "I survived up until now on my own, what makes you think you can just take over?"

He stared up at her, then burst into a low, throaty laugh.

"So now you are laughing at me?" she screeched.

"Yeah," he snorted. "Cause you're bein' ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?!"

"Yeah!" he said again. He got to his feet and stood over her as he too discarded his smoke. "Darlin', you are the last person in the entire world that I think needs saving."

Anna fell quiet, just looking up at him as he looked down at her.

"I'm sorry if you think I'm talking down to you," he continued. "I don't mean to. I just wanna help you in whatever way I can... even if it means you bite my head off."

Anna looked sheepish as he took her hands in his. "Sorry," she mumbled wrapping her arms around his waist as he cupped the back of her head.

"That's all right," he replied. "And look, if you do change your mind, and want someone to beat ten tonnes a shit outta him, just let me know."

"I would like to see that," she sighed, her voice muffled as she buried her face in his chest.

"You know I think you're the bravest, strongest person I've ever met," he continued. "But is it so bad to ask for help once in a while?"

"Yes," she admitted. "I do not want to have to rely on anyone else."

"But why?" asked Abe, drawing back to cup her face. She looked forlorn. "Because of your fiancé?" he deduced.

She nodded. "I am afraid for my heart to break again," she said quietly. "I pinned all my hopes on him only for him to lie to me. I cannot face that."

"And you won't," he promised her. "You're in charge of your future now, baby. Not him, not that fucker back there, not anyone but you."

She hugged him close again, Abe planting another kiss in her hair. It was certainly hard for her to admit that she did need Abe. He really did make everything better.

"I do not want to see him again," Anna said into Abe's chest.

"I'll get the guys to bring the other five down here to you. Y'all don't have to set foot near him." He waved Harrison down, who dutifully ran towards them. Abe explained what he needed, Harrison grinning encouragingly at Anna before he ran back to convey what Abe had asked.

"Will you stand with me, whilst I look at them?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Of course," he said, watching as they began to herd the five other men towards her. "Ready?"

"Ready," she confirmed as both of them turned to face it together.

***

Keller sat with his back against the barn's wall, his head tilted back as he stared at the ceiling.

He'd never thought that he'd see her again, and what a bittersweet moment it was. It had been torturous leaving her behind. He had so enjoyed their last few weeks together. She had been soft and tender, yet still entirely strident. The sex had been so different; she had kissed him, touched him, all of the things he thought he had never wanted or needed.

But he knew it was a lie. He wasn't a damn fool.

Tearing himself away from her at the final camp had been awful. If he could have gotten away with it, he would have taken her with him. She would have only kicked up a fuss at leaving the brat behind. And knowing how she hated him, she probably would have plunged a knife into his back whilst he was sleeping given half the chance. That rather excited him. There was something so intoxicating about seeing the anger in her eyes. He knew that no one else ever garnered that reaction from her. He didn't know what he wanted more from her; fear or love? Perhaps he simply wanted both.

Keller looked lazily over at the other SS he was cooped up with. He sat, removed from them, not wishing to have to associate with them any longer. They were all much in the same position as him; powerful connections had given them an out. But they were so boring, always talking of their homes. Even now, they were still discussing their families. They were delusional. All of them were going to be found guilty, that much was certain.

Perhaps he would be thinking of his family if he cared for them at all, which he didn't. To him, it made sense that his life would end this way. He'd tried to imagine himself in a normal life, especially after Anna had questioned him about it. He'd even tried to imagine it with her. She'd certainly be a strange wife. So argumentative and demonstrative. But he would have enjoyed showing her off in higher society. And she'd be a wonderful mother; it was easy to tell by any interactions she had with children. Especially her sister.

He wondered now if her reaction to his question was because she was pregnant. Would he be happy if she was? His mind drifted to the thought of the two of them, living on the estate in Baden-Baden. He could see a small boy, the spitting image of him, curled up in Anna's arms. He almost shook his head to dispel the thought. It wasn't going to happen, so there was no point in dwelling on it.

"So who was that girl then?" asked a voice, drawing his attention to the other men.

"Why should you care?" spat Keller.

"Never seen you look excited before; not until she turned up."

Keller sighed and looked away from him.

"Is that the prisoner you were having it off with in the barracks?"

"How did you know about that?"

"You didn't exactly keep it a secret, did you? It's just that nobody cared at that point."

"Yes," sighed Keller. "That was her."

"She's beautiful," he continued, "I can understand why you took such a shine to her."

Keller stayed silent.

"She didn't seem to like you very much, though," he goaded.

Keller's expression became a scowl. "No, she doesn't."

"Why? Were you shit in bed?" The others all tittered at this.

Keller's eyes bore into him. "No," replied Keller levelly, "it's because I murdered her friend after I beat him half to death... amongst other things..." They fell into complete silence. "You probably knew him, actually," continued Keller, enjoying how the man couldn't help but recoil from him. "Friedrich Müller. He was a Rottenführer at the camp."

"I-" ventured one of the other men, "I thought that he had been sent away somewhere. He worked so closely with the Commandant-"

"No," said Keller lightly, "I shot him when he tried to defend Anna. So, no, she doesn't like me very much."

Another silence.

"Did she even want to sleep with you?" asked the first man.

"No," said Keller.

"How could you do that to a woman?" he asked, his tone incredulous.

"Easily, actually," replied Keller, staring at him. "I might ask you the same question about working at the camp."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you were all guards, yes? Are you telling me in your time there that you never beat anyone? Killed anyone?"

"But they were men! Traitors, Jews... it was different!"

"Was it?" asked Keller, a small smirk on his face. "Do you think you're a good man?"

"Of course-" he began but couldn't finish.

"At least I know I'm a monster," sighed Keller. "It's easier once you accept it."

"I'm not a monster!"

"The Americans don't see it that way," Keller reminded him. "They have us all tarnished with the same brush."

"You more so than us, you fool. They are going to rip you apart," he said in low voice. "Especially that big one. If the loud Yank with the moustache hadn't stopped him, I reckon he would have had you right there."

"He'll be back," said Keller.

"How do you know?"

"Anna has that effect on people. He'll hate me for what I did to her."

"Are you not even afraid for your own sake?"

"Do I look like a coward?"

"We're all afraid of something..." he mumbled.

Keller thought about it. A memory flashed through his mind. A memory of pleading with Ernst when Ilse had told him about the baby. The look in Ernst's eyes... Keller knew what Ernst was going to do to Anna, and it had shaken him to the core. He was sure Ernst would kill her, and it broke him. He could feel now that her death was something that he couldn't contend with.

He should have killed her when he left the camp.

He should have done it before then.

He should have just killed her the minute Lange had come snooping around.

But he couldn't. He'd allowed her to grow roots in his mind. A world without her in it seemed so empty.

Angry at the revelation, he turned away from the men, signalling that their conversation was at its end.

***

Anna couldn't sleep. She was so tired before, yet now, she was wide awake. Keller's leering face kept going around and around in her mind.

Why had she let him get the best of her? Why hadn't she stayed calm? She had questions for him... things that now burned in her throat so desperately. That wasn't their ending... they weren't done yet.

Anna got up, going downstairs and out the door without a word to Gabby or Rosa. She hurried towards where she knew the Americans had based themselves. Abe would help her, she was sure. Or would he be angry that she wanted to go and see Keller. Why should it matter if he was? She didn't want him to be angry at her... that thought hurt her. She was soon amongst a sea of Americans, looking around wildly for Abe. She couldn't see him anywhere.

"Anna?" called a familiar voice. It was Hollywood. He came over to her from a group of higher ups. "You okay there?"

"I'm looking for Abe," she explained.

"He's on patrol now for most of the afternoon, 'cause I gave him the mornin' off to look after you."

"Oh," she managed, her heart thumping in her chest.

"Can I help? You don't seem right..."

"I wanted to go back to the prisoners," she mumbled. "I need to speak to them... get some answers."

"All of them?" he asked, stepping closer to her, "or just one?"

"Just one," she admitted. "I will come back later."

Hollywood sighed heavily. "You can't. They'll be moved tomorrow. There ain't gonna be another chance. And you won't be allowed to see them after hours... not without landing yourself in hot water with Hatcher."

"Please, I have to go today then... now!"

"I'm about to go into a meetin' about that very subject, Anna. I can't take you!" He saw her determined look and let out a small groan. "Fine!" He spun, whistling loudly. He waved, catching Harrison's attention who ran over to them.

"Yes boss?"

"You're gonna take Anna to go talk to that piece of shit Nazi, understand?"

Harrison glanced at them both. "Sure," he said uneasily.

"Good man," he nodded slapping him on the back. "You're to watch him the entire time. Don't let him get too close to Miss Lehman."

"No problem," he promised.

Hollywood took Anna's hand. "I hope you know what you're doin'," he murmured.

"I do," she replied. "Thank you!" Anna followed Harry to a car, and they soon sped off.

At first, they said nothing to each other. She didn't really know him that well. He clearly looked up to Hollywood, so at first, hadn't really said anything to her at all. Nowadays, she did at least get the occasional 'hello'. He was the youngest of the troop, perhaps only a couple of years younger than Anna herself.

"Thank you for taking me," she said finally.

Harrison glanced at her. "It's no problem," he said. Then he looked at her again. "You going to give him another beating?"

"No," she sighed. "I need to ask him questions that he would never have answered before."

"Why?"

"He did so many awful things. I just want to know why."

"Cause he's Nazi scum," said Harrison quickly.

"Nothing is so simple, I am afraid."

"So, he wasn't your... erm..."

"Fiancé?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"No, he most certainly was not."

"Good," said Harrison. "'Cause, y'know, it would kill Abe if you were in love with this guy." There was an awkward silence.

"Good thing I'm not then," mumbled Anna.

They soon pulled up at the farm, Harrison escorting Anna toward the barn.

"What's this then?" asked Andy.

"LT says that Anna needs to talk to one of the prisoners," said Harrison. "She didn't get all the information she needed the first-time round 'cause-"

"She beat ten tonnes of shit outta him?" he laughed, looking at Anna. "Good on you, Ma'am." Anna smiled. "Go on through," said Andy. "But you stay with her at all times, right Harry?"

"Of course!" sighed Harrison irritably.

Anna stepped into the barn, her gaze fixing on Keller immediately.

He glanced up, his eyes widened. "Anna," he said, scrabbling to his feet.

Harrison lifted his gun, pointing it straight at him. "Outside," he ordered.

Keller followed them both out of the barn as his comrades looked on in fascination.

Anna sat herself down against the outer wall, gesturing for Keller to do the same. Harrison stood in front of them, watching as Keller sat beside her.

"Nice to see that they have given you a little boy as your protection," sneered Keller. "Is he going to be here the entire time?"

"Yes," said Anna. "But he can't understand us." She pulled out two cigarettes, lighting them before she handed him one.

"Just like old times," mumbled Keller.

"Except now, you're the one covered in bruises," she retorted.

Keller smiled a little. "Indeed I am. You certainly know how to hit a man."

"Hans taught me well," she replied, taking a long drag.

There was a small silence as smoke swirled in the air around them.

"You seem to have made new friends of these Americans," he said after a while. "That big boy in particular-"

"Do not talk about him like that," snapped Anna.

Keller let out a bitter laugh. "Already?" he scoffed. "Jesus, Anna. Did Lange mean so little to you?"

Anna glared at him, her hands clenched into fists. "Jealous?" she asked, his face falling a little.

He didn't respond to it. "Do you like him in return?"

"That's hardly your business."

"That's a yes then," he said, his voice lowered. His expression had sunk further. "I thought you would have learned after Lange not to get involved with someone else... you're only going to get your heart broken."

"You sound as if you care. How terribly kind of you, Mathias."

He took a long drag on his cigarette, gasping afterwards. It had been so long without one. "So, why are you here? Can't imagine you felt the need to say a final goodbye-"

"I want answers," she said quickly. "You'll be moved tomorrow so I only have today."

"What answers?" They each took another drag.

"Freddie," she managed, a lump in her throat. "Why? Why did you do that to him?"

Keller pondered the answer for a moment."Because I thought it would feel good," he said finally.

Her stomach churned. "And did it?"

"It always used to. But this time... I barely got an adrenaline rush. Even when he looked up at me with the terror in his eyes."

Anna glared at him, silent, angry tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I think he truly believed he was going to survive at first," he continued. "When he didn't, that's when the fear set in." Another pause. "His last thoughts were of you."

Anna's breathing was deep and angry as she ignored Harrison's stares of confusion.

Keller looked directly at her. "He said 'save them. Save her.'" The silence was palpable. "He and I used to talk about you, you know. Did he never tell you?"

Anna shook her head.

"I helped him build your daughter's grave that night," he said quietly.

"What?"

"He never told you because he didn't want it tainted for you," he murmured, "but that hardly matters now. You're never going back there." Their eyes were locked. Keller edged closer, Anna shifting away in discomfort. "Do you have your answer?"

"I suppose."

"Then will you answer me some things?"

"Seems only fair."

He took a deep breath. "Do you remember that I asked you, if we had met somewhere else, could we have been happy?"

"I remember."

"You said you didn't know."

"I still don't."

"We could have met when I was in university," he continued. "When we were both in Berlin, and yet we never ran into one another."

"Hans also lived in Berlin," she reminded him. "I never met him either."

"So what if we had met then?" he pushed.

She pondered it.

"You can be totally honest now. I'm not the one holding the gun."

She smiled, almost in exasperation. "I still don't know," she admitted. "I was feisty, even back then. I wouldn't have taken your bull shit-"

"I know you wouldn't have. It's what I liked most about you. Every other woman I've ever had was so terribly dull. They never fought back-"

"You said you never had anyone else at the camp."

"Not there... before the war. When Ernst and I went on nights out together-" He trailed off, seeing the disgust in Anna's eyes.

"I didn't fight back in the beginning," she said after a while.

"You did in your own way," he murmured. "You were so stoic in all of our encounters. You even talked to me afterwards. Nearly all of the women I'd had in my life just wanted to get far away from me."

"Believe me, I would have if I could."

"No, you would have taken revenge. I could see it in your eyes. And I saw it more and more in the barracks when you had been freed. That's why you're here now, isn't it? You want to show me that you've won." He inched closer, and this time, Anna didn't move. "Was there ever a time, where I wasn't just a monster to you?"

"Yes," she said, her quick response surprising them both. "The church was the first. And then again when you came to visit me in January. When we talked about mythology." Her eyes scanned him curiously. "You were so gentle. And you were the same with me when we were alone in your room-" She laughed at herself as a realisation dawned on her. "When I was there with you, I think I actually enjoyed your company... perhaps, if we had met in Berlin all those years ago, I would have been swept up by you. I might have been fiery, but I was naïve too. I thought I was being naïve about you then, in your room-"

"You did?"

"I felt, even for a brief moment, that you would help get Elli and me out of there... its why I begged you at the final camp. I could see that you wanted to. And for so long I thought I was so stupid... so blind to the real you." She leant closer, her eyes piecing his. "But I wasn't, was I? Because the truth is, you did save us. You put us in that camp." She took the last of his cigarette from him, discarding them both. "You could have killed us both there and then. And you didn't. Why?"

"I don't know-"

"Tell me!" she urged, her voice sharp and angry.

"I wanted to," he snapped. "I planned to. I took you to the death pits to find Müller's body. And then I was going to shoot the brat and then you. I wanted to see you tumble down into that pit of nothingness, and finally demonstrate to myself that you were nothing but dirt." He had frustrated tears welling in his eyes, his whole body strained. "But then I saw you crying," he whispered, his mind drifting back to that moment. "I touched your cheek and I just... couldn't." He seemed in such anguish, as if he were fighting the truths escaping his lips. "I put you in the car not knowing where I was taking you. I thought about just driving off with you both... I could ditch the girl later. But I knew it was no use. Even if I hadn't killed Müller, there was no way you would want me."

Keller reached out, clutching her face. Harrison pointed the gun at him, yelling to let go. He squeezed tighter.

"Let me go," she ordered.

He dropped her face, staring down at his hands. "I hate you," he breathed, finally looking at her again. "But it's like you said; a part of me will always belong to you."

Disgusted, Anna got to her feet, Keller breathing heavily. He grabbed her hand, Anna feeling his desperation as his fingers clawed at her. She stopped Harrison in his tracks, not pulling free of Keller. Staring down at him, her breathing became laboured. She absolutely despised this man. She wanted him to burn... to writhe in agony for all eternity. It seemed odd, that his affection for her had been the thing that punished him the most.

"This is it, isn't it?" He pulled up onto his knees. "We won't see each other again?"

"I doubt it," she spat.

Keller took a deep breath. "Then please, tell me, are you pregnant?" Another silence. "You have to have some idea by now... are you having my child?"

"Is that what you want?" she asked. He didn't reply. "You told me that day that our child would be provided for... that I would be provided for. Did you do it deliberately?" Still no response. "You owe me your honesty... tell me."

"Yes," he breathed. "That is what I want. I know I'm not going to survive longer than a year... just until I've had a sham trial and then I'll be lined up with the rest of these fuckers... I have to know..."

Anna liked seeing the desperation in his eyes. She liked knowing that it was because of her.

"Please," he said again, his voice growing ever angrier. "Tell me." Another silence. "Tell me!" he ordered, his voice loud and crazed.

Anna's mouth twisted into a smile. "Goodbye Mathias," she said, then pulled free of his clutches, and stalked away.

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